Disclaimer: let's put it this way: if I were Veronica Roth, would I really be writing Fanfiction right now?
We never spoke about it. It was as if that particular topic of discussion ceased to exist all together.
Yet, despite the fact that we never spoke of it, here he is, sitting in front of me.
No, not sitting. Kneeling.
On one knee, to be exact.
I feel as if I'm going to vomit.
One minute, we're screaming nonsensical crap at each other, both of us on the verge of a complete and utter nervous breakdown. And the next, he's on one knee, presenting me with a ring.
My stomach won't stop churning.
He keeps muttering something, stumbling over his words as if he's never spoken before. Yet, my ears feel as if they're blocked with cotton. I keep catching words such as "love" and "please and the familiar phrase of "you have every right to say no".
But I don't. Do I?
I couldn't say no because saying no would result in him leaving for forever, though who knows exactly how long that is. Over the past five years, I've been petrified by the thought that he'll leave. If I utter that simple word, that's it. He's gone and everything we've built within the past five years is over.
My lips curl upwards in a small smile, because when I look into his deep blue eyes, my heart takes over in the place of my brain that screams no and it screams back yes.
Yes, yes. Oh God, yes.
No.
Yes.
He won't stop talking. God, I wish he'd just shut up sometime. I can see the pearly beads of sweat trickle down his forehead with every syllable he forces out. I know he's stalling. He's waiting for me to interrupt him with the word he wants to hear the most.
Yes.
Somewhere in the midst of everything, my ears start doing their damn job again.
"... I know I continually fuck things up for us. And I know that I'm just not what you deserve, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm completely in love with you, Beatrice. I just can't imagine my life without you. It's selfish of me, but I just can't."
His lips are moving at such a fast pace and- oh god. His lips.
I can't help myself. I lean down, placing his head in both of my palms and, ever so slowly, I press my lips to his.
And just like that, I forget every reason why I would've said no.
I pull back and look his straight in the eyes, keeping my hands on his face. By now, the smile that had crept up on my lips was mirrored by his.
"So?" He whispers.
"Yes." The single word comes out as no more than a breathe of air. If we weren't as close as we were now, I doubt he would've heard me.
His hands fumble for the ring enclosed in his palm, and I feel him slip it onto my finger. I don't look down at it though, not now. Instead, I keep my gaze locked on him. The second he finished putting the ring on my finger, he lifts his face up, displaying the most elated look I've ever seen him wear.
I don't waste any time before our lips are crashing together stands up, so this time he's the one that has to bend down, and picks me up, spinning me in a small circle. He doesn't set me down though. He keeps my toes just mere inches off the ground.
It's certainly the best moment of my life.
I wake up to a tangled mess of bare sheets covering my frame. He's not here, but given the way the bathroom light glistens against the adjacent glass mirror, I know he's not far.
My eyes immediatly dart to the elephant in the room- the ring nestled amongst my finger.
Except, it's more than just a ring. A ring would imply simplicity and conspicuousness, both of which are exact opposites of what it truly is.
Up until now, I didn't know that diamonds came in such large sizes. You'd think, with both of us coming from Abnegation, that he would chose something simple and timeless, not something that looks as if he spent his entire yearly salary on it.
Of course, I know he didn't. Being a legend has its perks, I guess. But as I stare more and more at the delicate piece of jewelry, I can't help but be enamored by every single detail of it.
The diamond must be as big as the tip of my pinky,band it lay inset a band of microscopic diamonds. The juxtaposition of it was not coincidence. It could've only occurred by carefully crafted precision and thought. Nevertheless, it was beautiful. Completely and utterly beautiful. Where did I become worthy of such nice things?
The bathroom door opens, revealing a thick cloud of sticky steam and my soon-to-be husband.
Fiancé, is the better term. It feels weird on my tongue.
"Good morning." He says, his voice still thick with sleep. He walks over to me and presses his lips to my forehead, just as he's done every single morning the past four years that we've lived together. "Ready for work?"
"Mmmm." I groan. "Do we have to go?"
He sighs. "Yes, we do. You know we have to."
"I know, but..." I wrack my brain, trying to come up with any excuse possible. "Given the fact that we... We..."
He laughs, "what, just because we got engaged that means we get to take the day off at work? Sorry, Tris, but it doesn't work like that. Initiation continues whether we're getting married or we're breaking up. If we don't train them, then who's going to?"
"Zeke?" I offered. "Uriah?"
"Right. We're going to leave the Pedrad brothers to this. They'll just get all the initiates drunk."
"Which could be fun for them." I offered.
He laughed half-heartedly. I knew there was no getting around this. Sighing, I got up and made my way to the shower.
We're on our way to the training room when he slips his hand in mine.
"I'm never going to get used to this," he murmurs, fiddling with my ring. "I can't believe it actually happened."
"Do you regret it?" I blurt.
His eyes look like they'll burst out of his skull. "Regret it? Tris, do you think I would've done it if I thought I was just going to regret it in the morning?"
"Well, no, I just-" I stammered, but quickly jolted away from him as we entered the training room. The initiates were already lined up, eager to begin training for the day.
"Alright!" My voice booms. "Protocol for today is the same as yesterday. Head to the punching bags and start warming up. Real fights start after lunch."
The initiates scurry to the bags like chickens with their heads cut off. A Candor girl reaches one a couple feet down from me, and immediately I notice the awkwardness in her stance.
Tobias watches with a sly grin on his face as I work to help adjust her. He's always doing that- watching me from afar. Since he's been training longer than I have, he likes to scrutinize my work.
At the bag next to me is an Abnegation boy- Jamal, I think is his name. He's unusually strong for being from Abnegation, and despite his timid nature. As I finish up adjusting the Candor girl, I feel him tap my shoulder.
"Yes?" I hiss, colder than I intend to.
He returns my bitter frost with a small smile. "If you're trying to hide that," he whispered, pointing his index finger toward my ring. "You might want to do a bit of a better job. Nobody else has noticed yet, I don't think."
My eyes widen.
He laughs softly. "Don't worry, it's only a massive rock. It's not like you're pregnant. Now that would be harder to hide."
"Thanks for the advice, initiate." I murmured, though I could feel my heart racing. I only found out two days ago- was there any way he knew?