AKA: The Do's and Don't's of Dating a Time Traveler.

It is the 21st. . .er, 25th. . . oh whatever, it is high time for girls to be able to ask out boys.

"Hey Mikey."

Mikey shrieked and nearly dropped his slice of pizza. He was hanging out on one of his favorite rooftops, avoiding Raph after the paint prank thing. And suddenly he felt a tap on the shoulder and there was Renet. His ninja senses needed some serious tuning.

"What's sup Renet?" If he wasn't busy avoiding eye contact so as not to stare awkwardly like Donnie, he probably would have picked up on how Renet was fiddling with her headdress. Even though it was perfectly secure.

"I was just in the decade, and thought I might pop in and ask you if, um, you wanted to go on that date you mentioned."

Mikey looked up, all thoughts of not looking weird forgotten. "Like a date date? With holding hands and kissing and rowboats?"

Renet giggled. "Uh, I guess. I've never been on a date before. I don't really know how it works."

"Me neither. But if we both don't know the rules, we mess them up, right?" He hoped that made as much sense to her as it did to him.

"Okay. So how about we meet Friday at 8, right here?"

"Okay. Wait, are you going to just jump ahead three days and go to our date straight from here?"

She giggled. "Of course not. I need like a week to prepare. You only go on your first date twice."

No Doctor Who references.

Mikey had always wanted to go on a ferris wheel so Renet picked out the biggest and best one she could think of: the London Eye. They teleported straight to the top car after hours and watched as the whole city moved up and down around them. At one point Mikey nudged Renet and pointed to a phone booth.

"Hey look." He grinned.

Renet smiled. "You don't see many of those in this time period. I always thought they were cute."

"No, I mean it's like, you're a time traveler and. . ." Mikey's smile faded as he watched Renet scrunch up her face in confusion. "You know, it's like Doctor Who."

"What?"

"No, who."

"Who's what?"

"A doctor."

Renet frowned. "I'm sorry, who's a doctor?"

"And a time traveler." He thought she of all people would like this show. Didn't people in the future have Netflix?

"Who?"

"The doctor."

She groaned. "Doctor who?"

"Yeah, you got it!"

She threw up her hands. "No I don't!"

You don't need to spend a lot of money on a fancy restaurant.

Mikey thought that 19th century sewers smelled even worse than 21st century ones. Plus there was nowhere to skateboard.

He was about to go wait in an alley, even if it meant risking detection, when Renet dropped down from an opening in front of him. She held out a silver platter covered in a white cloth.

"I give you, the first ever made modern day pizza." With a flourish she pulled off the cloth and suddenly all Mikey could smell was smoky, cheesy goodness. The margarita pizza was like the Italian flag in awesome form.

"Bon appetite."

Be yourself.

Mikey leaned back against the stone wall. They had taken the pizza to some private forest somewhere and ate their pizza while admiring the sick Roman ruins. On their next date Renet said she would take him to see the Sistine Chapel. When it was being painted.

"So then Clarence was like 'you can't go screwing around in Roanoke, it's so pivotal.' And I was like, 'oh please, no one even-"

"Uurp." Not bad. Mikey almost said booyakasha before he remembered he was on a date. He knew April and Karai thought burping was gross. Probably Renet did too. What if he grossed her out and she never asked him out again?

"Sorry, I mean excuse-"

"Uuuurrp!"

Mikey was pretty sure he was in love.

Despite what TV says, not everything needs to be about sex.

Deep in the Japanese countryside there was a remote, long abandoned monastery that lay undisturbed for years. As the sun rose over the horizon, casting long shadows over the land, one could just make out two figures on the roof. It was too dark to see them from the road, but if you got close enough you could see the shorter person lean his head on the taller one's shoulder. The taller figure wrapped her arm around her companion, and together they watched the sun rise in total silence.

When the world had awakened and the birds begun to sing, you could just make out that the shorter one had taken out some book of some kind. He faced the other person and began scribbling on a page. The sun was directly behind the people, so it was hard to see what was going on. But if you waited, eventually you would see the first person rip out the page and hand it to the second person. She would kiss his cheek. Then, with a blinding, brilliant flash, the two strangers would disappear. And the monastery would be undisturbed once more.

Be mindful of curfews.

"I'm back."

Donnie glanced up from the TV and saw his little brother practically skip into the lair.

"How was it?"

"Our kids will be named Margarita and Roanoke."

"Okay."

Donnie happened to glance at his phone while Mikey headed into the kitchen. "Hey, Mikey?"

"Yeah?"

"According to my clock, your date only lasted 10 minutes."

"I wanted her to bring me back early so you guys wouldn't worry." He poured himself a glass of water. "We would have been back earlier, but Renet wanted to watch the sunrise."

Mikey went to his room. Donnie glanced at his phone again.

Sometimes it was better not to ask.

Aww. I wish my dates took me to Italy. But I'll settle for Chipotle.