A/N: Don't freak out, this idea thanks to Marlene King wouldn't go away. Like she said Emison reconciliation will be a process, (whether that happens on the show or not is on her) this is ANGSTY and SMUTTY and filled with BAD LANGUAGE. Please take that into account.
This is going up before Part TWO of Ali's Second Chance because it diverts from Canon from Season 5 Final, and since Canon is going in a *cough cough* stupid direction I have elected to fix this. Ali's Second Chance will be out soon so don't panic.
Thanks to my trustee Co-Writer Emisonxx (all praise should be directed to her, I am for all your criticism needs thank you).
Disclaimer: Don't own Pretty Little Liars.
As always enjoy. :)
"You're lying," Alison laughed in disbelief folding several more donated blankets. If there was one thing Alison DiLaurentis never wanted to see again after her stint in prison, besides horrible inmates, it was any more laundry. But here she was folding blankets and clothes voluntarily at the church.
Her new therapist had suggested volunteering while she recouped from her ordeal. The old Alison would have scoffed at the woman's audacity, sashayed out of the office and gone to four strip malls to wipe away even the very notion of helping the less fortunate. But that was the old Alison and this Alison was trying to turn over a new leaf. No matter how heavy that leaf may be the blonde was determined to mend her life.
So here she was being entertained while she folded clothes next to the lead volunteer Carlos. He was cute, she admitted to herself, in a boyish charming kind of way and his deep brown eyes caught her attention as soon as she saw him. But, a part of her could also admit it was because they were so similar to Emily's. Not as bright but they still had that warm and trusting look Emily used to have, before everything ruined them.
The girls' return from the dollhouse had led to a state wide man hunt for the maniac who held them captive for three weeks. There were serious psychological scars for each girl in question as they tried to assimilate back into society. Mona especially was almost catatonic when they found them. Spencer had bounced back since and Alison had seen her every now and then about town. The brunette would wave but that was as far as their interaction went, and Ali didn't mind it much. She and the brainiac had never gotten along too well, but she holds a soft spot for their once innocent rivalry. Hanna and Aria would both head in the other direction whenever they spotted Alison and she was in no mood to push either of them. It hurt that they couldn't even face her. And Emily, she had only seen once, at the scene of the crime - and the relief in Emily's eyes was what Alison clung to before the brunette had been shuffled into an ambulance outside the dollhouse. She hadn't sought Alison out once since and the blonde was frightened to confront her.
"I am not," Carlos placed a hand over his heart clearing his throat as he sat up straighter, his boyish grin in full effect. "I solemnly swear I am telling the truth."
Alison just rolled her eyes and giggled throwing a blanket at him, he caught it easily and swirled it back into his arms cocking his head and raising his eyebrows as though waiting for applause.
"Um hi," a tentative voice called from the entrance to the church's rec room.
Carlos turned toward the newcomer, folding the blanket in his arms. Alison's muscles tensed up as she stopped folding, that voice placing such a frightening hold over her.
"Hello," the charming boy greeted warmly. "Can I help you with anything?"
Alison tried to turn back to her folding as the newcomer came closer, the soft steps echoing in the near empty room.
"I think so," Alison's head snapped up, unable to resist any longer. She locked her blue eyes with soft brown eyes - Emily's brown eyes. The moment caught both of them off guard, and it's intensity settled uneasily in Alison's chest. "I-i-is this where I donate stuff?"
Carlos nodded, happily unaware of the intense stare off the two girls were involved in. The blonde's stomach churned with the seemingly mysterious vibes radiating from Emily. She couldn't tell if the brunette was happy, angry, or frightened.
"Sure is, we've been collecting goodies all day, right Ali?" Carlos smiled at the blonde and Alison watched as Emily's shocked gaze changed into a subtle glare that settled on the overly enthusiastic boy. Her brown eyes narrowed viciously, and Alison had never seen such cruelty grace Emily's face.
Alison nodded and tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes. Carlos nodded at Emily, unaware of Ali's unease. The blonde moved closer to Emily even as the brunette suddenly looked ready to bolt. She held out a hand for the trash bag in Emily's grasp and finally the brunette handed it over stiffly.
Alison peeked inside as she turned to add it to the pile. The trash bag held only one item - Mrs Fields favourite picnic blanket. Alison turned back to Emily, curiosity sparkling in her baby blue eyes.
"My mum wanted me to drop it off," Emily unnecessarily supplied as she fidgeted slightly.
Carlos nodded agreeably and they all awkwardly stood there for a long moment.
"Carlos," Alison called gently. "Could you add this to the pile that need to be washed, please?"
Carlos nodded taking the bag and smiling at Emily as he passed her and left the room.
"He seems nice," Emily said casually though Alison could see the brunette flinching.
"He is," Alison agreed crossing her arms. "What are you doing here, Emily?"
"I told you my mom wanted me to drop off some donations-"
"Pam Fields wanted you to give the less fortunate her $150 picnic blanket?" Alison challenged, glaring. Why was the brunette lying to her? "Somehow I doubt it."
Emily's eyes widened.
"$150?" the brunette choked and it would have been comical if Alison weren't so mad. "That thing cost $150."
"I'll get it back," she waved away Emily's concern. "Just tell me what you're doing here, Emily."
"I was in the neighbourhood," Emily started.
"Liar," Alison snapped. "I can always tell when you're lying."
"Takes one to know one I guess," Emily shot back, her defenses immediately flared up.
"I don't want to fight, Emily," Alison sighed as she tried to take a deep breath. "If thats what you came here for please leave."
"I want to know what you're doing?" Emily admitted.
Alison titled her head in confusion. Obviously she wasn't shopping or something - what the hell did the brunette think she was doing.
"What are you doing here, Alison? Why are you doing this?" Emily accused her underlying tone distrusting and jaded.
Alison scoffed shaking her head.
"If I'm mad I haven't changed at all, if I'm nice I'm obviously up to something right?" Alison sighed angrily. "What do you want from me Emily?"
Emily shifted on her feet uneasily. This of course isn't how either of them had envisioned their first encounter after everything, but the history between them naturally led to this horrible bickering.
"Just tell me what to do please, I'm so tired of fighting and I especially don't want to fight with you," Alison pleaded.
Emily just stared at her, stewing in her own anger.
"Do you want me to leave?" Alison asked desperately. "Because I would if I could-"
"So you're gonna run again, big shocker there," Emily snapped.
"You're not listening," Alison breathed angrily. Emily could be more difficult than she ever was. "Again."
Emily crossed her arms but didn't retort.
"I'm sorry alright I'm sorry for everything," Alison yelled, showcasing the guilt that had built up inside of her over the years.
"And I forgive you," Emily said hesitantly and nodded slightly though her eyes didn't soften.
"Do you, Em?" Alison asked in disbelief. "Because it feels like you're just waiting for me to slip up again."
"Wouldn't be the first time you've broken my trust," Emily snapped.
Alison sighed rubbing at her temples.
"I'm trying Emily, I'm trying to change and if you can't see that then I don't know what to tell you," Alison admitted defeatedly.
Emily looked at her for a long moment. And Alison watched as a steely look flashed in Emily's eyes and the brunette hardened as if she wouldn't let herself show compassion.
"I'll figure out what you're hiding," she said finally spinning on her heel and storming out. She pushed past Carlos at the door and didn't even apologize as she left without another word.
Carlos came over to the frustrated blonde and whistled low in sympathy.
"She seemed mad," he said easily.
Alison nodded feeling completely defeated.
"For what its worth, I think its great you're trying to better yourself," Carlos said encouragingly smiling at her charmingly.
"How much did you hear?" she asked sharply. She wasn't a fan of the fact that he had intently listened in on her clearly private conversation. Was nothing sacred anymore?
"Enough," he shrugged innocently. "I believe you are changing by the way."
She smiled back politely and took a seat on the table to fold more blankets, Carlos followed her.
"Well you're the only one," Alison admitted. "And you didn't know me before so you're not exactly the best judge."
"Maybe I'm the perfect judge, maybe thats exactly what you need," Carlos hedged gently. "A fresh start, a clean slate."
His hand slid gently to her thigh and Alison looked down at it as he squeezed softly.
"Oh Carlos," Alison sighed sadly. "I really wish you hadn't done that."
Carlos' smile fell and he retracted his hand slowly. Was that all she was to people? A sex object? She shouldn't be surprised, she supposed. She had always felt like very few people saw past her beauty. Emily, and perhaps Ezra.
"I'm sorry?" he backtracked.
"You should be, you eavesdropped on a private conversation, an argument between myself and someone I obviously care deeply for and then you thought what I needed was a come on, what the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped.
Carlos held up his hands in surrender.
"I only heard a bit and she was way out of line I-"
"Don't presume to know anything about Emily or what I have done to her," Alison seethed. "You don't get to judge her, I hurt her a lot and she's mad and taking it out on me, but it has nothing to do with you."
Carlos nodded.
"I'm sorry I thought you needed comfort…"
Alison scoffed.
"That," she pointed to his hand. "Was not comfort, that was a proposition."
Carlos dropped his head and shook out his shaggy hair.
"You're right, I'm sorry, I was being too friendly but you were friendly back and I thought," he shrugged.
"Well you thought wrong," Alison stood angrily. "I laughed at your stupid story to be polite and maybe make a friend not because I want to have sex with you, what the hell is wrong with people."
She gathered her things angrily.
"Ali I'm s-"
"Alison," the blonde snapped at him. "Only my friends call me Ali."
"Alison," he corrected. "I'm sorry I offended you, please don't leave."
He smiled warmly and Alison scoffed.
"You're a jerk," she shoved some blankets into his arms. "Tell Father Ted I quit or whatever."
With that she strutted out of the church. So much for charity therapy.
Several days later Alison sat in her car outside the Fields home. She'd been here a lot lately but she'd never gotten out of her car. She'd just sit outside the house waiting. It was a little creepy, she admitted, but she wasn't even sure what she was waiting for. More often than not she wouldn't see anyone and eventually she'd just go home. Sometimes, rarely, she'd catch a glimpse of Emily at her window seat. She supposed thats why she did it - to catch a glimpse of Emily.
The brunette was angry, she knew, and while Alison didn't blame Emily for her anger it didn't mean it didn't hurt that she lashed out at Alison. She doesn't understand why the brunette wasn't happy to see her. Before the dollhouse, Alison could've sworn that Emily had looked devastated that she was going to jail. And didn't the dollhouse prove that Alison was innocent, that she had been protecting the girls from something more sinister all along? It wasn't fair of Emily to treat her this way. Steeling her nerves Alison grabbed the trash bag and headed for the front door.
She knocked softly almost hoping Emily wouldn't hear or wouldn't be home and she could just leave the bag on the doorstep. There was a cop car parked across the street so she had no fear that anyone would take it. In fact she could just leave it with the officer assigned to watch Emily, that made much more sense. Too soon the door swung open.
Alison gulped as Emily's hard brown eyes fixed on her, the air between them was thick with unspoken discourse.
"Yes?" Emily asked unpleasantly.
Alison held up the trash bag.
"I didn't want you to get in trouble," she tried to smile but Emily just shook her head and turned on her heel heading further into the house.
Alison watched her go, before deciding that was probably as much of an invitation as she was going to get. She closed the door gently behind herself and headed up the stairs to Emily's room.
The brunette was leaning against her desk waiting when Alison entered the room, it smelt of new paint and Alison could see that the walls had been redecorated rather than their usual yellow colour they were now a light sky blue. Alison could understand wanting to change the room as much as possible, the bits and pieces she had heard from the rumour mill summed up the girls had been kept captive in exact replicas of their own bedrooms for a month. Their own personal prisons.
"I like it," Alison complimented.
Emily shrugged.
"I just wanted to bring your picnic blanket back," Alison said shifting on her feet. "I didn't mean to keep you from anything."
"Do you have a prior engagement?" Emily asked sharply. "Maybe with the oh so wonderful Carlos."
Alison shook her head exasperated.
"No," she gritted her teeth. "Carlos isn't a friend or anything else."
"Why?" Emily asked suddenly standing up a little straighter, sensing Ali's discomfort at the thought.
Alison sighed.
"Because he like everyone else was being nice for his own benefit," Alison bitterly smiled. "I'm done being used by people."
"You'll never be done using people," Emily chuckled darkly. "Alison DiLaurentis- Puppet Master."
Alison looked to the floor, scuffing her boots on the rug absentmindedly. There was no point talking to Emily when she was like this. It wouldn't do them any good Alison knew.
"I should go," Alison said softly, trying to avoid the fight that was approaching.
"What about that night in your room?" Emily grasped at something, anything to keep the blonde here with her. It was like a terrible addiction - part of her wanted Alison to hurt and leave, the other part of her wanted Alison all to herself. "You really sunk to a whole new level that night."
Alison turned to her sharply. Emily was going to start crossing lines that they had no hope in coming back from.
"Don't presume to know what I felt about that night, Emily," Alison warned softly with a dangerous edge to her voice.
"What else am I supposed to do, you never brought it up again or gave me a chance to!" Emily began to raise her voice once more.
"Didn't give you a chance? All I did was give you chances," Alison fumed, starting to see red. "'Walk me home Em', 'I don't want to be alone Em', I gave you every opportunity to talk to me but you were so hung up on Mona and her stupid lies."
"So why didn't you say anything?" Emily challenged.
"Because I was giving you space, letting you come to me, but you never wanted to talk about it!" Alison screamed. She had thought she was doing the right thing, thought that Emily would appreciate the approach.
"What was I suppose to say 'Oh hey Ali wanna talk about the night we practically had sex'?"
Alison scoffed, unable to hold back her claws.
"If you think that was sex Paige and Maya need a refresher course," Alison taunted.
"Don't say her name," Emily hissed dangerously.
"Maya," Alison smirked. "She's a person Emily, a dead person but she wasn't a saint, being dead doesn't change that!"
Alison turned away her voice falling into a disappointed whisper.
"It certainly didn't for me."
"I loved her," Emily said softly, her voice suddenly empty and pathetic.
"Like you loved me?" Alison goaded angrily whirling on the brunette.
"She loved me back!" Emily shouted, her brown eyes glaring daggers at the blonde. The hidden accusation tore deep at the blonde.
"Like I didn't?" Alison matched her volume. "Like I didn't do everything in my power to keep you safe!"
"You mean alive - I've never been safe, especially not with you," Emily spat. "You wanted to keep me alive so you could keep me dangling, close enough to be at your beck and call but never close enough to actually hurt you."
"Really?" Alison scoffed. "Then how come you turned on me, Emily? How come it felt like my heart had been ripped out when you pushed me back to the cops? How come I had to beg you to come to my trial?"
"Don't forget I wanted to plant evidence," Emily sneered, her cruelty really surfacing. It was as if all her self-hatred was brimming at the surface and waiting to wrongfully explode on the blonde in the form of an attack.
Alison's lips curled into a feral grin.
"I'd expect nothing less I've heard you've really gotten in touch with your dark side lately, Em. A married woman huh? I'd be impressed if I wasn't so grossed out," Alison crossed her arms smirking as Emily's eyes hardened in anger.
Emily clenched her fists betraying her surprise momentarily and Alison pushed her advantage.
"Thats right I know all about your little affair, I never thought I'd add cheater to your resume," she scoffed.
"Like you can judge, how many married men have you seduced Alison?" Emily bit back.
Alison sobered slightly.
"Enough to know everyone gets hurt," she admitted with a frown. It had crossed her mind that Emily must be hurting in more than one way.
"So now you've got a conscience, how convenient," Emily spat bitterly.
"Did she offer to leave him for you, Emily? Make you feel special?" Alison stepped closer, trying to win this because she refused to be kicked around anymore. "I'm surprised you haven't got another squeeze since Paige left and your sugar mama seems to have evaporated."
Emily's glare hardened.
"Shut up, Alison," Emily warned.
"Or what?" Alison taunted. "Your little posse isn't here, no wonder Mona decided you were the weakest link. Your strengths always have been in others, Emily. Protecting them, saving them but when it comes to your own heart, you're so very, very vulnerable."
Emily lunged forward shoving Alison hard against the wall.
"I said shut up," Emily seethed baring her teeth, her warm breath hitting Ali's face. The blonde's heart was pounding furiously in her chest at their close proximity but she was hoping the brunette couldn't see how affected she was.
"Did I hit a nerve?" Alison asked smirking as Emily pushed her harder into the wall and she winced. "I must say I'm amazed by how many women you've gone through since you stopped lying to yourself you must be doing something right."
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Emily taunted and Alison smirked.
"You don't have it in you," Alison spat. "Too wrapped up in your little feelings and your endless 'love', tell me Emily how many people plant evidence against people they supposedly love?"
"I wouldn't know, probably the same amount that play hot and cold for their own sadistic pleasure," Emily challenged. "Tell me Alison has Daddy given you a hug since you got out of jail or does he still think you killed your mother?"
Alison's blue eyes burned with fury and she looked ready to hit the brunette. This relationship was toxic. There was very little good left in it after all the aggression and lies and seduction. So she did the only thing she knew. She grasped Emily's face and pulled the brunette to her, crashing their lips together desperately. It was all teeth and tongues and harsh panting as they tried to consume each other.
"This is a horrible idea," Emily argued through her panting even as her lips sought out Alison's again.
"The worst," Alison gasped arching into the brunette's mouth.
"We should stop," Emily nipped at Alison's jaw, her hands squeezing at Alison's ass, kneading the flesh under her palms.
"But we wont?" Alison asked pulling back slightly. She stayed that way for a long moment giving Emily an out. A chance to stop what they both knew was an inevitable train wreck.
"Not on your life," Emily concluded lifting the blonde up higher onto the wall.
Alison's legs wrapped around Emily's waist as the brunette lifted her, the blonde's hands clutching Emily's shoulders, her back crashing into the wall as Emily sucked the very life from her hot mouth. The day was lost to their moans and aggressive pleasure, taking and owning each other well into the afternoon. They only stopped when Mrs Fields came home and they hastily hurried to hide any evidence of their lustful encounter.
It didn't solve anything Alison noted some time later, Emily had turned cold as soon as their clothes were back on and even in the throes of passion the brunette radiated nothing but distain for Alison. It was unhealthy and unfair for each of them to even consider using each other like that. But that didn't mean it stopped happening.
"Oh, Em," Alison gasped throwing her head back, her fingers digging into brunette's strong shoulders.
"You like that," Emily whispered hotly into Alison's ear, a seductive taunt as her fingers thrusted into the blonde.
Once again they found themselves pressed tightly against a wall this time in Alison's bedroom. It had started off innocently enough Alison had texted Spencer asking for her notes on last years classes knowing that the Hastings' star pupil would never throw away her precious study notes. Intent to catch up on her missed schooling, Alison had been cramming in make up tests and assignments to hopefully make it back into her senior year class only a summer school session behind. It was a gruelling process but Spencer's notes were always a big help.
When she'd opened her bedroom door she had been shocked to find Emily with Spencer's notes. Spencer was apparently spending too much time with Toby, which Emily seemed bitter about. Whether it was cause she missed Toby or Spencer Alison couldn't really tell and Emily had almost bitten her head off when she asked.
They'd stood tensely for a long moment before Emily had pretty much lunged for her without so much as dropping the notes on the desk. Alison was just as desperate for the brunette and they fell immediately back into what was becoming patterned behaviour for them. Crashing into each other, tearing at clothes - Alison was shirtless with her jeans around her ankles and Emily was also missing her shirt but still had her pants on. Alison hadn't even managed to get out of her underwear before Emily shoved her forcefully against the wall once more, lifting the blonde up and sliding her hand past Alison's flimsy panties.
"Ah," Alison whimpered as her eyes shut and Emily curled her fingers inside her. This was not love. This was dirty sex, plain and simple dirty fucking sex. But maybe if Ali closed her eyes enough, maybe if she told herself it was something more then she could really believe it.
"I can't tell you how often I've thought of fucking you like this," Emily smirked thrusting harder as Alison whined in her arms. "Wasn't as hard to get here as I thought."
Ouch. Cruel dig number 1.
"Oh fuck, ba- Em," Alison gasped overloaded by Emily, it felt like the brunette was everywhere.
"Did you think about me when you were all alone," Emily taunted her thumb swiping over Alison's clit. Her words could have been hot and seductive, but they were dripping with aggression and hurt. "Did you think about me inside you?"
Alison arched into the contact and grasped for Emily's head digging her nails painfully into the brunettes scalp. She knew that last question was mostly teasing, but also a sincere curiosity that the brunette was vocalizing. And Alison didn't want to give her the pleasure of knowing the answer, not when Emily was so harsh and cold.
"Just .. shut up," Alison panted as she threw her head back. "And fuck me."
"I am," Emily hotly answered thrusting her fingers brutally, the force almost too much for Ali. "Don't you dare forget whose fucking you."
Alison crashed their lips together, more to finally shut Emily up than to feel the brunette's lips. She moaned into the brunette's mouth as the pace picked up considerably. Emily was obviously paying her back for silencing the brunette's taunts. But Alison had to- when Emily was inside her, making her whole body quake, she could almost make herself believe nothing had happened, that they were happy and in love and this was just a particularly heated exchange but they'd get back to the loving place soon enough.
Her fantasy was quickly destroyed though by Emily's taunting words her vicious tongue spewing nothing but aggressive suggestions that Alison was nothing but a slut that Emily got to fuck. It hurt more than the betrayal to know that thats what Emily thought of her, so she shut the brunette up.
Alison swirled her tongue around Emily's trying to dominate the brunette as Emily flexed into her and Alison was finally relaxing back into her fantasy where they were both happy when a sharp knock to her bedroom door halted her movements.
Her bedroom door was closed but unlocked and Alison pulled her lips away from Emily. But the brunette didn't seem as interested in stopping as Alison, her fingers still moving slowly but deliberately inside the blonde.
"Ali are you in there?" Jason called through the door.
Alison tried to push herself out of Emily's arms but the brunette defiantly held her tightly up against the wall.
"Don't come in," Alison called helplessly out to Jason. "I'm changing."
Emily snickered and trailed her tongue down Alison's throat, making the blonde arch into her.
"Stop," Alison hissed, half meaning it.
"Get rid of him," Emily hissed back, licking at Alison's neck before she started sucking on it.
"Dad wants to know what you want for dinner, he's picking up take away," Jason yelled.
"I don't care," Alison yelled back, her head hitting the wall particularly hard as Emily sucked, her fingers working into Alison again.
"What was that?" Jason asked concern floating through the door.
"Nothing," Alison hastily called.
Emily bite down on Alison's neck at the same time she curled her fingers inside the blonde and Alison couldn't stop her loud moan. Emily grinned against her skin as Alison panted.
"What the hell?!" Jason called through the door. "Is that Carlos guy in there?"
Emily froze and raised her head. The fire in Emily's eyes was palpable and Alison gulped. Emily retched herself free of the blonde and Alison just managed to catch herself on the wall as Emily pulled away sharply.
"Em wait," Alison called as Emily flung on her shirt. "It's not…"
Emily was already storming for the door as Alison pulled up her jeans, her thighs slick and the feeling incredibly unpleasant. Emily flung the door open and almost crashed into Jason.
"Whoa," Jason commented as Emily glared at him, he took one look at his sister in her bra still trying to do up her jeans and put the whole thing together.
"Emily wait!" Alison called not even bothering to grab a shirt as Emily stormed down the stairs.
As Alison passed her brother, his eyes wide as his brain tried to put all the pieces together, she punched him in the arm.
"Thanks a lot, asshole," she muttered running after Emily.
"Emily STOP!" Alison commanded when they were on the front lawn.
Emily did clenching her fists at her side but didn't turn around.
"Emily please, Jason's an idiot and-"
"Was Carlos in your room?" Emily seethed.
"Emily.."
"Was he?"
Alison sighed rubbing at her forehead frustratedly, she knew what the brunette was doing, as soon as she confirmed that yes Carlos was in her room Emily would run and the brunette would use that as justification. That Alison was a skank and Emily was in the clear once again.
"Why do you care?" Alison threw back, diverting from the question. "We're not a couple, Emily."
Emily faulted, obviously not expecting Alison to call her out on her jealousy.
"Who knows what shit you could give me?" Emily viscously spat as she turned around to face Alison.
"Great," Alison threw up her arms. "Not only am I hoe, I'm also irresponsible."
"You're the one that fucks anything that moves, Alison," Emily shouted.
"That's were you're wrong, sweetie," Alison's lips pulled into a cruel smirk. "You've had more side pieces out of the two of us."
"At least I care about my partners," Emily argued.
"Really, Em. You just spent a hour in my room hate-fucking me," Alison shrieked.
"Because it's what you deserve!"
"For what?" Alison yelled. "What have I done to you that I deserve the one person I've cared, about the one person I've lov-"
"Don't," Emily spat. "Don't you dare say it."
Alison crossed her arms glaring daggers. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the police cruiser of her appointed officer. He was none too subtly staring at her chest, but Alison ignored him.
"You don't get to dictate my feelings, Emily," Alison warned.
"You don't have any!" Emily huffed as she scrambled to find the words to describe her anger. "You couldn't! After everything you have done, theres is no way you felt anything for any of us! Not after what you put us through!"
"I wish I didn't," Alison admitted her head dropping in defeat. "I wish I didn't feel anything for you, because this wouldn't hurt then."
Emily stood stoically as Alison sighed lifting her head slowly.
"I wouldn't let you do this," Alison continued, her blue eyes vulnerable once more. "Let you hurt me like this if I didn't care."
"You're hurting me," Emily softly cried. Her earlier fire was dwindling back down to the broken girl she was.
"You should go, Emily," Alison quietly pressed.
Emily dropped her arms to her side shaking her head confused as to where this had all turned around. They seemed to have three moods: screaming war, fucking, and crushing despair. It was like they couldn't exist any more unless they were hurting each other and themselves in some way.
Emily nodded finally and turned back to her car.
"For the record Carlos helped me bag some clothes for the church," Alison called. "Thats why he was in my room."
Emily turned back to respond but the blonde was already gone.
For several weeks nothing changed, each too stubborn to seek the other out. With no real reason to stumble across each other, no shared classes, and no groups assignment, Emily and Alison successfully avoided each other.
Alison had only seen Spencer out of the three girls and they exchanged quick pleasantries more often than not. Every now and then Spencer would briefly help with Alison's school work. The brunette had a lot to catch up on herself so it was rare that they had a chance to sit down. Aria and Hanna still avoided her, not that Alison blamed them and, well, Emily hadn't come round again. Alison wasn't sure if she felt relieved or saddened by the brunette's absence.
Her supposed friends had really put her through a ringer since she got out of jail and they got out of the dollhouse. Still, she couldn't bring herself to really hate them for it. But it didn't make her hate herself any less when Spencer sent an SOS and Alison was next door in a panic before she could even think. She still cared deeply for those who had turned their back on her.
As bad as 'A' texts were SOS's were ten times worse. 'A' texts made you tense. SOS's stopped your heart.
It turned out Spencer wanted a group meeting, including Alison, to get to the bottom of what they collectively knew about Charles and A. It was hypothetically a good idea but Alison couldn't see it working out the way Spencer envisioned - and Alison was right. As soon as Emily turned up, conveniently last, all hell broke loose.
"What is she doing here?" Emily growled in a low voice, obviously not trying hard to be subtle.
Emily glared across the room at Alison and then Spencer. Hanna crossed her arms joining Emily's glare at Alison and the blonde could only imagine what Hanna knew of Emily and Alison's encounters.
"I don't think this is a good idea," Alison softly whispered to Spencer, starting to stand from her seat at the foot of Spencer's bed.
"No," Spencer argued laying a hand on Alison to hold her down. "We need you Ali, this is connected to your mother some how and-"
"We don't need anything from this bitch," Hanna spat. The blonde in question flinched, her eyes flickering to Hanna's face. When they were in jail, Hanna had trusted her. Why did none of them trust her anymore? Didn't they realize that she had been played just like them? Didn't they understand that she was tormented too? Or did they really believe this was all her fault - the dollhouse, the threats, the endless nightmares-
"We need answers," Spencer fired back.
"No, you need answers," Hanna yelled at Spencer. "Just leave it alone and let the police handle it. A hasn't texted us since. I just want to graduate and get out of this stupid town."
"The police have been searching for months, A is still out there. The police only found us because A or Charles let them," Spencer cried breathing heavily. It obviously panicked the Hastings protege to feel so out of control and devoid of reason.
"Spencer, hey," Alison called gently placing a soothing hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Just breath for a second."
Spencer nodded fighting her own panic and mimicked Alison as the blonde breathed deeply with her. Finally when she was sure Spencer wasn't going to keel over Alison stopped her exaggerated technique and smiled rubbing Spencer's shoulder soothingly.
"Don't do that," Emily snapped.
Alison looked over to Emily as the brunette crossed her arms furiously.
"Don't act like you care," Emily continued, her dark gaze burning into the blonde.
"I do care," Alison quietly admitted trying not to let Emily bait her into another screaming match.
"Emily," Aria called. "Let's just hear what Alison has to say."
Emily sat with a huff but didn't argue any further. The rest of them looked expectantly to Alison.
"I don't really have any answers to add," Alison admitted sadly. "I don't think I can actually tell you guys anything useful."
"Can't or won't," Hanna argued having beaten Emily by a fraction as Alison watched the brunette's mouth open and shut.
Alison sighed.
"I'm going to go," Alison stood.
"Alison please.."
"I'm sorry, Spencer, but this isn't going to work," Alison sadly recounted she headed for the door aware all four of them were staring at her. She turned back at the doorframe.
"For what its worth I'm sorry about what happened to you all," Alison sincerely told them. "If I could change it I would."
None of them acknowledged her so Alison left.
Three days later Alison regretted letting Emily and Hanna push her from the meeting. This was ridiculous. All personal feelings aside, they needed to find a way to end this torment. None of them could spend the rest of their lives just waiting for A to resurface and throw them all back into this game. They needed to take action and they needed to do it as a united front.
Alison steeled herself at the Fields front door and rang the bell.
Emily answered it and almost immediately slammed it shut again.
Alison stood there dumbfounded for a moment before she rang the bell again.
No one answered so Alison kept ringing.
"Go away, Alison!" Emily's voice floated through the door.
"No," Alison yelled back. "I need to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk so go away," came Emily's angry reply muffled by the thick front door.
"Fine," Alison huffed, her body sagged with discomfort but her mind was determined. "I'll just start screaming in the street about how you fucked me the other day and didn't even get me off."
The door flew open Emily's eyes dark with rage that made Alison jump slightly.
"Are you threatening me to get inside?" Emily spat in disbelief.
"It worked didn't it," Alison cockily recovered as she slipped past Emily before the brunette could argue.
Emily huffed and stormed off to her bedroom. Alison chased after her.
"We have to find a way to work as a team if we have any hope of taking down A," Alison argued
"Go away Alison, I'm busy," Emily sighed sitting at her desk.
"So what you can storm into my life and yell at me but it's only a one way street?" Alison scoffed. "Typical."
"Whats that supposed to mean?" Emily bit back her tone rising.
"It means exactly what it sounds like Emily, I apologize I try to make amends and you still treat me like the gum you can't quite scrape off your shoe."
"You treated me like that for years!" Emily yelled. Their fights were always escalating quickly to screaming matches these days.
"And I apologized, but you've never once apologized for thinking I was A, turning me over to the police, leaving Mike's confession out of the trial that could have saved me," Alison yelled frantically. "You'd sooner give me genuine forgiveness than an actual apology."
"You want an apology, fine. I'm sorry for all the crap I put you through and I'm so sorry I was stupid enough to believe you could change," Emily spat, her hands shaking as she talked with them.
Alison felt tears brim in her eyes.
"Take your water works else where Alison, I am done," Emily seethed, but her body looked like it was about to give out from emotional exhaustion.
"I wasted so much time on you," Alison bitterly recalled as she forced herself to hold back her tears.
"You don't get to do that," Emily called angrily. "You don't get to act like I'm breaking your heart."
"Why not, Em? Thats exactly what you are doing."
"No its not," Emily gritted her teeth. "You can't break something that doesn't exist."
"Even A has a soul but I don't," Alison nodded. "Alright. You made your point, I'll get out of your way."
"Thank you," Emily bitterly whispered.
Alison headed for the door and then turned back. That old, fiery part of her that had to have the last dig wouldn't let her leave without a parting gift. She pushed back her shoulders and locked her gaze on the shaken brunette.
"I'd say don't miss me but you never do stay single long these days. Where's your latest rebound?" Alison taunted.
"Check a mirror," Emily spat.
Alison grimaced her blue eyes darkening.
"No more Talia? Did the adulterer repent or something?"
"I don't know, she's gone," Emily shrugged some of the fight quickly leaving her. "I met her husband before…everything that happened, and he said I was an experimental fling. He was so sure of it that he didn't even care about what we were doing."
Alison didn't know what to make of this Emily. Angry, hurt Emily was easier to deal with than sad Emily. Sad Emily was brutal.
"Well he was obviously threatened - I mean look at you," Alison gestured towards the brunette.
"He was right," Emily admitted sadly. "I was nothing but an experiment to her. She didn't even try to see me after… everything."
"Well I can't imagine what she was thinking then, she's obviously an idiot," Alison said dismissively.
This was an almost civil conversation and was heading into territory that looked a lot like sharing. Alison just wanted it to be over.
"Well you'd know more about experimenting than me," Emily shot back her eyes bloodshot and cold. And there it was, the snarky dig that drove them apart once more.
"If you're implying that I think of you as an experiment then please stop," Alison snapped.
"Its not like I wasn't an experiment to you once, Maybe I still am, how should I know," Emily shrugged, her words calculated and cold.
"You're never going to let it go are you? I can say sorry till I'm ninety but it won't matter because your precious little feelings were hurt," Alison huffed, hopelessness filling her.
"You played me like a puppet!" Emily retorted. "You made me feel ashamed of myself. Made me feel loved and supported one minute and disgusting and worthless the next, what the hell was wrong with you?"
"I was fifteen!" Alison's hoarse voice protested as she tried to scream but it sounded more like a broken strained cry. "I was a stupid kid and there was a lot more going on than you can even hope to understand."
"And whose fault was that? You never told me anything," Emily let out a shaky breath as Alison walks away. "Or were you still 'protecting' me?"
Alison stops sharply.
"Screw you, Emily," she turned back to face the furious brunette. "Just screw you."
"You already did!" Emily shouted at her retreating figure.