The Intangible Mind Of Cat Valentine

Quick AN: For my followers who follow more than just my Jori stories; I'm back. While I do plan to go back and finish all my unfinished stories and maybe, just maybe, do a 3rd installment of The Life Of Tori Vega/Soul Mates series I had an idea for a story that is Cori. I believe the general idea has been done with Cori a few times, and Cori is not a very popular ship, I hope everyone finds my story refreshing and enjoyable. Sorry for any typical cliches I end up using, can be hard to write a story without them. Rated M for self harm and such things in later chapters.

Just a side note – since the makers of Victorious didn't seem to care much about time lines and where everything that happened feel into place on them I won't either. Also Sam And Cat never happened.

Chapter one: Who is Cat really?

Cat Valentine is a very precarious person. You never know quite where she is in her head. Sometimes she not only seems to be following conversations well but also has amazing insight; other times she seems to be a million miles away where nothing in this world could bother her.

For example last week at lunch the group was having a conversation about the California water shortage and Cat chimed in with, "You know, maybe everyone really should have thought about what the long term affects of having so many people living so densely populated in such an arid region would be." Today unfortunately was not one of those days where we saw the true genius inside Cat's head.

"So Tori, have you decided who you're going to chose to be your partner in vocal class?" Andre asked me. Everyone always wanted me as a partner and it could get frustrating. I mean Andre is just as talented if not more so than me. "Ughhh, I don't even want to think about it right now. Sinjin has left me four notes in my locker just today asking me to be his partner!"

"Sinjin isn't even in our class though," said Andre looking slightly confused. "Tell him that since it doesn't seem to stop him from leaving me notes every time we get an assignment. I don't even understand how he finds out," I say with a sigh.

"Do you guys think butterflies dream about butter?" Asked Cat causing us all to stare at her questionably. "I mean they have to call them butterflies for a reason, maybe it's because they dream of butter."

I put my arm around her with a soft smile on my face. "I'm sure that's exactly why they call them butterflies Cat." She gives a gives a girlish giggle and seems to snuggle into my arm. I've had a crush on Ca forever now, now I know your first thought is; what, Tori Vega is a lesbian? And I have no simple answer to that. I know I like girls, and I think I like boys too. I mean I think they're cute, some of them even sexy. And I mean I've had relationships with boys before, but something just always feels off. I think it may be why my very short lived relationships have always self destructed. I go for guys I know it won't work out with so I won't have to be the one to end the relationship if I just can't get any real spark going with them.

Things are different with Cat though, and a few other girls from my past I had crushes on but never acted on from fear of rejection and maybe repulsion that I was into girls, I got butterflies around her that I never get with guys. I find myself always wanting to spend time with her making excuses to touch her, put my arm around her, or hug her. Sometimes like now I would just do it, since we're girls and it seems to be more socially acceptable than when guys do it.

We made more small talk while eating our lunches and waiting for the bell signaling time for our classes to begin again. Cat made only one or two more off the wall comments during lunch period before it was time for us to get back to our laborious studies. I kept my arm around her the whole time without her mentioning it or moving in such a way that it fell off. I was glad for little moments like this where I could almost pretend that everyone knows of my feelings and the whole school, and my friends and family, were accepting of it.

I mean being gay or lesbian or bi o anything that wasn't heterosexual is far more accepted today than it us to be, but you still read stories online about the gay high schooler who was bullied so much suicide was the only option that was seen to escape it. So I keep my feelings to myself not wanting to think about the possibility if anyone knew I may be that kid.

The rest of the day went fairly uneventful. The rest of my classes gave homework along the lines of what is normally issues, Sinjin made some very weird and creepy comments to me and just about every other girl at the school. Cat was in her head every time I saw her between classes, Jade made snide comments to me, Andre asked me several more times about if I had made up my mind yet. Beck scolded Jade for being too nasty, the world at Hollywood Arts continued as usual.

When school ended I let out a sigh of relief since today was Friday and that means we had two whole days outside of this prison. Another perk was Cat would be staying the night at my place this weekend. A least once a month we plan a "girls weekend" where Cat would stay the night and she'd make an effort to get Jade to come over too. Jade's answers are along the lines of what you would expect of course, "I'd rather drown in blood than stay the night at Vega's," "I'd smoother thirty babies in their sleep before being caught dead at Vega's house for a weekend," etc. Of course I never minded, my weekends with Cat were the best part of the month.

"So Tori," Cat said as she caught up to me at my locker. We'd be walking to my house as Trina had a "thing" after school. Which I, of course, assumed meant stalking some guy beginning him to go on a date with her. "I was wondering if tonight we could have a Disney movie marathon?" I loved doing Disney movie marathons with Cat, she was so adorable when watching movies about impossible happy ever afters and finding your one true prince. Though I wished I could be her princess.

"Of course Cat, I wouldn't dream of spending the night any other way," I responded giving her a soft but warm smile. She squealed giving me a hug before running off. "I'll meet you outside in ten, okay?" she asked while rushing to her locker. I smiled in her direction before zipping up my backpack and heading towards the front entrance. I thought about maybe trying to make a move on her this weekend, hold her hand, kiss her, something. I knew I never would though I thought about this before everyone of our girl's weekends but nothing ever came out of it. I was just allowing myself to indulge in what ifs and maybe one days.

Fast forward three hours and Cat and I are sitting on my couch watching The Lion King. Trina probably wouldn't be home until God knows when and my parents were out who knows where. It seems as Trina got older and more annoying my parents were home less and less often.

"Ohhh I can't watch this part," Cat squeals as Mufassa was about to die. I knew she would do this since she does it every time this scene came on. I decided to capitalize on the socially acceptable double standard of girls being able to be more affectionate with one another and grab her hand. She gives my hand a squeeze and tells me to tell her when it's over. When I do so I was more than shocked by what happens next.

"Tori, pause the movie I need to ask you something." I pick up the Blu Ray remote and hit pause before turning towards her.

"I've been under the idea that you kind of had a thing for me," Cat says paralyzing me. "I mean you always find reasons to hold my hand or put your arm around me, but then the next day you act like your feelings are platonic." I have no idea what to say at this point, I was feeling like a trapped dog. She had figured it out, flashes of everyone finding out and people making fun of me flash before my eyes and I start to panic.

"I mean if you do like me it's okay really and I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. But I kind of have had a crush on you for a few months now. I mean at first I didn't but I didn't mind the idea of you liking me, but after a while I realized I liked the hand holding more than in just a friendship way," she said.

I was still in shock and trying to gather my thoughts so I could formulate a sentence. "C-c-cat I do like you, I was just afraid you didn't like me back. Not just that though, I was afraid of the idea of everyone finding out and me becoming a social outcast."

Cat gave me her signature smile. This is what I'm talking about though, how she seems to be so ditzy and a million miles away while being so perceptive at the same time. Before I leaned in to give her a peck on the lips excited about what this meant, I had to ask myself who is Cat Valentine really?