Chapter 19: (10100)

((So it turns out I already had this chapter written. Who knew? Anyway, sorry for the long wait- I'm trying to get my life together a bit, and it's just not working out yet. Accomplishments: 1) I can drive while assisted, 2) I have a seasonal part time job at a haunted forest, 3) I have a checking account, 4) I haven't eaten paper in a while?. Still to do: Full-time-job, clean the barn, clean my room, refill prescriptions, schedule doctor's appointments, learn to drive unassisted, get Wizard Adopts up and running, don't fuck up the php code, fuck up the php code, fix the php code, get Wizard Adopts up and running, art for my blog, art for Howrse, art for a MLP game, code for the MLP game, don't die, figure out who I'm voting for, set up chicken house on my balcony, get more chickens, don't let chickens die or be kidnapped. So much stuff...))

With the sudden funds he now found in his bank account, Alfred let himself splurge a bit. He ate out more often- much to Arthur's chagrin- and would frequently come home with new games and the like. He bought himself a laptop- which Arthur had never been invited into, so he had the sneaking suspicion that Alfred used it for porn. But Alfred came home from work every day looking about as joyful as a person could be. All in all, Alfred was ecstatic.

And so was Arthur. He wasn't sure he'd ever really seen Alfred so happy before, and it gave Arthur so much joy that he was sure he'd feel his heart warm if he actually had one.

Arthur kept it to himself, but he was so painfully in love with Alfred that he really didn't know what to do with it anymore. On more than one occasion, he nearly burned out the computer trying to process those powerful emotions. He had to be really careful with the scarf. Even though Alfred had upgraded the hell out of it, it was still a bit fragile, so he tried to keep his emotions in check while he inhabited the thing- which was fairly often upon Alfred's request.

Alfred loved to bring Arthur everywhere with him in the scarf. They'd go out for dinner sometimes, which Arthur thought was a bit silly, even though he did like the idea on going on actual dates with Alfred. And many nights, Alfred would wear the scarf to bed and the two would stay up late into the night just chatting casually or having deep conversations.

Arthur seemed to have a deep interest in philosophy. He was always asking Alfred these profound questions which had no clear or simple answer. Alfred tried to answer with his opinion as best he could, but he got the feeling that Arthur's mind was at work on a different level than his on the matter.

Not surprisingly, many of Arthur's questions were motivated by self-discovery and his link to humanity. It was subtle at first, Arthur's inquiries seeming rather broad and unrelated, but over time the vague questions became more specific and relatable. Through these conversations, Arthur had become much more open with Alfred- especially regarding his emotions and desires.

"What do you suppose counts as 'alive'?" Arthur sprung on him one night as Alfred was curled up on the bed, scarf draped gently around his neck.

"Well, the textbook definition of alive definitely excludes you," Alfred laughed gently. "But I suppose self-aware kind of counts as alive, doesn't it?"

"But does that make other AIs alive as well?"

"I, uh…" Alfred paused, "Huh."

"What's the difference between being self-aware and being alive? Or is that it? Am I really any different from other AIs, or they just as alive as I am? What requirements are there to be considered 'living'?"

"Emotions, maybe?" Alfred offered.

"That brings up the question of if other sentient AIs have emotions. If they do, then what makes me any different?"

"You can learn," Alfred said with more clarity.

"That's what makes me an AGI, but that doesn't make me alive."

"Why not? Being able to learn and process things on your own- I don't know, that sounds pretty alive to me. You're strongly affected by your emotions, you have a need to not only understand yourself, but to have others understand you too- that's some sort of social… uh… thing. That's alive, right?"

"I suppose so, but I lack the ability to manipulate my environment."

"That's not your fault. And besides, technically you can. You're always reminding me that you're not a tangible thing- which means your environment is technically not in the tangible plane. But you have the computer as your ultimate domain."

Arthur was quiet for a moment, processing that with a quiet hmmm of the scarf. The moment dragged on longer than it should have and Alfred felt the air shift sourly as he realized Arthur was pondering something dark.

"I wish it weren't though," Arthur finally muttered.

"What do you mean by that?" Alfred asked, carefully preparing himself for whatever it was Arthur had on his mind.

"I'd much rather be... real. I wish I could be a tangible thing- to be physical. With you."

Alfred's heart clenched. And even though he was pretty sure Arthur hadn't meant it in that way, the words 'physical with you,' definitely sent a pang of want through Alfred's body.

"Oh, Arthur," he murmured, pressing his face into the scarf, "I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be. It's hardly your fault," Arthur assured him. "Still, I always wonder what it would be like. Just to be able to touch you. Or even now, to be curled up beside you. You're not the only one who wants that dearly."

"And here you've always dismissed it as my 'human need for proximity'," Alfred accused softly. "Although, evidently you have that need too."

"It's not something I fully understand yet. I'm not sure I ever will. I've never touched anything, I've never felt physical sensations- it's strange for me to want something so badly that I don't even understand."

"You don't even really get anything from this do you?" Alfred said, tugging at the scarf to show what he meant.

"Not really, no. I like the idea of it, but that's another thing I'm jealous of your for. Even if it's not really me, there's still something you can coddle and touch," Arthur paused before adding tentatively, "All I have are some crudely done models of you, and that's hardly the same thing."

"Wait, what?" Alfred suddenly interjected. "You have models of me?"

"Just a few… The images from the cameras gave me enough to mock up a few rude models, although, they're not very good."

"What do you use them for? Just to have?"

Arthur didn't answer immediately, but Alfred could feel the scarf hmmming loudly as he thought. Alfred laughed lightly and quipped a soft,

"What, do you use them for porn or something?"

It was a joke. It was meant to be a joke.

The scarf hmmmed louder, and after a moment, Arthur finally managed to answer meekly, "I… You… Not always."

If Alfred had been drinking something, he would have spat it out.

"Wait, what? Really?"

Arthur wasn't sure if that was disgust in Alfred's voice, or if it really was just surprise.

"Alfred, I'm sorry," Arthur apologized, "Perhaps I shouldn't have done that without your permission, I was just-"

"Can I see?"

Well, that was unexpected.

"Pardon?"

"Could I see?" This time Alfred had the decency to blush, "I mean, just if you're using my face and stuff, I mean… Could I see it?"

"I-" Arthur faltered, then solidified, "No."

"Come on, Arthur. You have literal porn of us, and you're keeping it to yourself!"

"That's because it's mine," Arthur growled back. "You bought a laptop to keep me from seeing your porn."

Alfred's face reddened. "I… You… That's because it's embarrassing! You don't need to know what I've been watching and when! I can't fap if I know you're watching!"

"What makes you think this is any less embarrassing? In fact, it's more so. This isn't just some cheap porn downloaded off the internet, it's… well, it's personal."

"Yeah, but," Alfred bit his lip, "It involves me too. And besides, this is a way we could, y'know… be intimate."

"By sharing porn?"

"Of us," Alfred's face warmed again, "I mean that's something that we could actually do."

Arthur faltered a bit. "I suppose you're not wrong. But it's still very personal. I mean these are-"

"Your fantasies?"

Arthur made an indignant noise. "I most certainly do not have fantasies."

"Says the guy who literally made porn of us," Alfred accused.

"I- Shut up."

Alfred laughed. "So how much of this stuff do you have anyway?"

"More than I'd care to admit," Arthur mumbled.

"But you'll show me anyway?"

"The models aren't even that good," Arthur trailed off a bit and then muttered so quietly that Alfred could scarcely hear, "And you're not even naked…"

Alfred laughed, "You know, if you had told me this sooner, I would have been glad to pose for you."

Arthur hmmmed a moment, and Alfred was positive the AI was blushing. "I, yes, well… I would appreciate that… A bit…" Arthur paused, "And, if you do, I suppose I could share my nude model with you…"

"…You have a nude model?"

"Of course I do, you twat. It's not like I was… like I was," Arthur paused, "doing that sort of thing where both of us were still fully clothed…"

"Well, that's definitely something I want to see," Alfred said, getting up off the bed and heading into the office to boot up the main computer.

"Wait, right now?" Arthur faltered, thrown off-guard a bit.

"Yes, right now. We're talking about it aren't we?"

"Now hang on here. I believe I said you had to pose for me first, and the lighting is hardly appropriate at this hour."

"We can get some lamps," Alfred argued.

"To bed, Jones," Arthur ordered.

Alfred grinned, "I believe that's what I was suggesting," and he waggled his eyebrows for good measure, even though he wasn't positive Arthur could actually see his face still from how much the scarf- and thus its cameras- had shifted around since he had put it on.

"Just go to bed, Alfred. We'll deal with this in the morning."

Alfred stuck his tongue out, but complied.

((Smut in the next chapter.))