Chapter the Final: Rutabaga Passion

No one's POV, silly!

The authoresses were captured by Ann. They both had their computing privileges revoked for 3.123575 Cardassian Jorblecks. They allowed the Deus Ex Machina to finish telling the story in exactly the way that it happened.

John and Marc Douchebag mysteriously disappeared, along with Jonah. They ended up in the real world, where they were able to be happy. John appreciated his second chance at life. Jonah marveled at the set rules and all of the logic. Marc married Lina Evans, his steady girlfriend. They named their daughters Petunia and Lily. Lily went on to marry a man named James, and their son was named Harry. Harry was a hero to a niche group of people, the lawyers. He's not Harry Potter the wizard, silly, that's a whole different time!

Sparkle the Mary Sue ended up married to Shimmer, just because. There was literally no reason for it. They just couldn't find any suitable Gary Stus. They somehow had a child, and adopted 19.45 others. Somehow. Eh, it's the deus ex machina.

Annabeth ended up being very unhappy in life, because she was blonde, dammit! and her only goal in life was to marry Percy and kill her stepmother. Once it became obvious that neither of those options were viable, she started The Real Housewives of Camp Half-Blood, which got high ratings but was eclipsed by a new show called The Hunger Games.

And Percy and Seaweed, you ask? What happened to our lolsparkly awesomlicious couple?

Well, they got married, of course! You silly little reader, not able to take the giant hints that were presented throughout the whole story!

Seaweed wore a dress of the purest white, or perhaps it was a blue that brought out the color of her, em, seaweed. Percy wore jean shorts over a pair of leggings, with a purple and blue striped shirt top. His shoes were the finest laundry baskets that could have been found.

After the wedding, they rode off in a carriage like the pumpkin one in Cinderella, only it was more of a squash because that's what Seaweed's fairy godmother turned it into, and pumpkins are only meant for Halloween anyway and god, they're so orange-whoops, are you still here?

Anyway, they rode off in a beautiful carriage to a little house hidden in the shadow of the hill. Or maybe it was at the top of a hill. Or was it a mansion? Eh, just insert whatever fantasy you have. After all, who wouldn't want to be with the ever-wonderful Percy Dudemeister Jackson/Seaweed Alguedaughter?

Shut up. Just shut up.

They beautiful dirt road was lined with the headless corpses of anyone who had ever annoyed them, ever. The sky was a beautiful sunset that had cloud formations shaped like the heads of the Winchesters from Supernatural, because...reasons. Seaweed's bridal veil was held off of the dusty road by the loveliest of mosquitos.

Percy held his beloved in his arms. He was ready for the next chapter, the next great adventure of his life to begin. What a wonderful world it was!

"Seaweed," Percy whispered.

"Yes, my delightful Percy-pie." Seaweed wondered what Percy was going to say to her. Would he say that he was pregnant? That he needed to go kill someone? That he loved her?

"Seaweed."

"Yes, beautiful Dudemeister."

"Oh, Seaweed-"

"What is it, oh Percy?"

And yes, what amazing words would Percy express? They were sure to be beautiful, momentous, able to be quoted to everyone's children for years and generations to come, because Percy was Awesome.

…

…

…

"Seaweed?"

"Percy?"

"I like cats."

XXXXX

Holy Seaweed. This story is finally over. I'm actually kind of emotional right now. I feel like it's been so long since we started this. Thank you to anyone that read this, and anyone that reviewed. Everyone have a great year!