Disclaimer: I don't own Love Live! If i did there'd be nicomaki and nozoeli babies everywhere.

Enjoy!

"I need an answer nya!"

Rin was slamming both hands in front of the table. Hanayo was trying to calm the girl down. So was Eli. Umi was lying prone on the floor, muttering about strange noises and shamelessness. Kotori and Honoka were on either side of her pleading with the bluenette not to go into the light. Maki was of no help. The red head was seated directly across her, fidgeting, with a red blush on her face. Behind her, Nozomi was smiling that serene, innocent, smile with both hands on Maki's shoulder.

Nozomi is evil.

It started so innocently enough. Nico had gone to μ's to ask for their help to simulate her first meeting with Maki's father. Preparation was key after all. Rin called dibs on the father figure while Nozomi played Maki's mother.

But now, Nico supposed, that perhaps it was better if she hadn't prepared at all. Or at least, kept Nozomi out of it.

"Nico-chan nya!"

"Calm down Rin," Eli tried to soothe the girl.

Nico sighed.

How did I get into this mess again?

Nico practiced it all with Rin. The bowing, the present she was supposed to bring, the handshake (Its important to make a good first impression nya!). Rin was surprisingly insightful and she, Nozomi and the rest of μ's asked Nico the standard questions you'd expect at the at the meet and greet: "Where did you two meet?" "What are your plans?" and the like. And after an hour of grilling Nico, Rin was ready to approve of Nico's relationship with Maki.

And then, all hell broke loose.

"I think that's it nya? I approve of your relationship with my daugh—

"Wait. Before we do, I would like to ask something: I heard some strange noises from the music room yesterday. Care to explain what that was about Nicochi?" Nozomi was still smiling serenely from Nico's right.

Maki and Nico flushed.

"Noises…" Umi stiffened.

"Are you alright Umi-chan?" Kotori asked. Umi nodded numbly.

"Noises nya? What's that supposed to—

Oh. It dawned on Rin. Music room = Maki-chan. Maki-chan + ? = Strange noises. Applying algebra here… Then Strange noises – Maki-chan = ?. Therefore, ? = Nico-chan. And Maki-chan + Nico-chan = Strange noises… is… is… is?!

A murderous aura emitted from the orange haired girl. "Nico-chan. Explain."

Hanayo who had been silent the entire time laughed nervously, "Rin-chan, don't you think you're taking this too seriously?"

"No, Kayo-chin! You don't understand nya! Nico-chan is two years older than Maki-chan! She could be corrupting my daughter nya!" Rin swiveled to face Nico, slamming her hands on the table. "Are you corrupting our daughter?! How far have you gone with Maki-chan?"

At the other side of the room, Maki blushed, her face sporting a shade as red as her hair. Nico paled. Umi, upon realizing the implications of Rin's question, fainted.

"Corrupting… H-how s-scandalous."

"Umi-chan!" Kotori and Honoka gathered around Umi.

"Rin… Isn't this going a little too far?" Eli tried to reason with the girl.

"No, Eli-chi. This is about Maki-chan's dignity and innocence! Maki-chan's too naïve! Answer the question Nico-chan." Nozomi's tone was hard and serious but her eyes betrayed mischief. Oh boy…

"What's up with that silence nya? You've been corrupting my daughter haven't you? How far have you gone with her Nico-chan?" Rin's face right in front of Nico's now. Geez, overprotective Rin sure is scary.

Nico didn't think it would come to this. Who knew prepping with μ's to meet Maki's father would come to this? She had hidden it under the table in case of an emergency, like when an insane fan attacked or a burglar out to get her idol merchandise broke in the club room, but it would have to do.

Nico took deep breath and lifted the knife in the air. The sharp edge of the knight glittering under the harsh fluorescent light. Rin leapt backwards- far , far away from the knife's reach. Alarmed, Maki finally spoke up, "Nico-chan-

Nico bowed towards Rin and Nozomi.

"I apologize for taking your daughter's innocence, Hoshizora-san, Tojou-san. I will commit seppuku now."

Fin

Omake

Maki's father was impressed. That Nico Yazawa was calm and she carried herself well. She had a good handshake and was very driven. There was no sign of nervousness from her at all. She was good for his baby girl. He approved. Though from Maki's stories he thought that she'd be more nervous about meeting him. Even he was nervous when he first met his father-in-law.

"Your girlfriend seems to be very put together. Did she practice or something?" He joked after Yazawa-san left.

Maki winced. "Oh, you have no idea."

Author's note: Don't take this seriously guys. It was inspired by a day of tumblr surfing (nothing good ever comes out of that :)), especially this one ficlet of an overprotective NozoHono over KotoUmi. I can't seem to find it anymore though. It's my first fic so the characters are probably whack. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. :D