HAT: I hope that the new episode that some on tonight reaches the expectations of my mental fantiction of how things go otherwise I'll be really disappointed (lol, loved that when I watched the commercial).

Disclaimer: LOG, LOG! It's big, it's- *blinks at camera* Oh... it's on? *pauses Naruto Abridged* Um... I don't own anything, but the plot... errr- ONWARD, AOSHIMA!

Sometimes it's hard to remember that his two employees are children. Granted one is in high school and will graduate in about a year, but he was still young (and acted like a child for sure). Stanford had gotten to the point in which work was all he was thinking about and fun was something that he could have at his leisure in his own way (sometimes with either a cold beer or soda in front of the television), but children were easily distracted and wanted to have fun.

Why would this man think about this when normally his mind is on how to make money? Well, said employees are goofing off for the eighth time today... and they had only been here for two hours. He had snapped at them a few times and the rest he just fives them a look and they went back to working like they were told until eventually they ended up goofing off again. Luckily they haven't broken anything in the shop or themselves, but there was a lot of time left to do so.

What can I do to get all this energy outta them? Stan wonders as he hears them laughing and playing some game again.

He sighs and leans back in his chair in the office. It was in-between tours and he wasn't due for another tour for the rest of the day so that left him to do godforsaken paperwork that he feels that he doesn't necessarily have to do- or rather- shouldn't have to do. Still, he needs a way to occupy and exhaust his workers for an hour at least so that there won't be any trouble later on. He knows that some of the plans that he has in mind aren't exactly for kids- more for himself away from the kids- but he remembers a few games that he played with his brother that he's too old to do anymore.

The sound of merchandise breaking is enough to make him fly from his seat and into the gift shop where he left his underaged employees. Probably not the best idea in retrospect, but given his lack of responsibility there is little hope of that happening.

As soon as he enters the gift shop he is greeted with the sight of both of his employees standing beside a broken Mystery Shack plate with guilty looks on their faces. It was hard to choose which one looked more terrified- the little girl with developing tears in her eyes, or the terrified young man with tears already in his eyes.

Stanford (A/N: I don't care if he's actually Stanley, I've gotten way too far in my stories to go back and change everything! Though future stories will have that correction) counts to ten slowly, taking a deep breath while doing so and tries to remember that he brought this on himself. If he hadn't hired these two, this wouldn't have happened- but then again, he needed the cheap labor. If he needed to, he would just get another plate and paint it like he did this one.

Right now he needs to channel his inner parent- the one that had patience- no matter how deep it was inside of him.

"What happened?" He demands with a strained voice.

"W-we were playing a game and I was being clumsy again," Soos replies, rubbing the back of his head. "We're sorry Mr. Pines, I'll clean it up."

Wendy nods her agreement and Stanford crosses his arms over his chest. "Alright- after you do that, you two are coming with me."

He's sure by the look of sheer terror in their eyes that they were afraid he was going to tell their guardians that they had broken his merchandise and would have to pay for it, but- despite how tempting that is- he had a bit more integrity than that for the parents of these children. One is a grandmother with a job that doesn't pay her what she deserves, and the other is a single father with four children to feed, he wasn't that heartless... though tourists on the other hand, he would squeeze every penny out of them that he could.

He grabs his keys and goes out to stand in the front. This is the slow part of business and it wouldn't pick back up until after lunch so he had a good two hours before he absolutely has to come back to the Shack for the next tour so that mens that he can distract his energized employees for about an hour and a half.

The keys twirl and stop when he catches them, twirl and catch. He goes this- as he usually does- as he waits for them to come out and tries to think of something to do. When the door finally opens he catches the keys and looks at the two of them- still looking like kicked puppies that are afraid to get kicked again. It's a bit much, but no one ever said that children weren't great actors when they wanted to be to get out of whatever trouble that they were in.

"In the car," he grunts and unlocks the door and gets into the driver's seat.

"Where're we going?" Wendy asks with a quivering voice.

He sighs as he starts the car. "You two can stop acting so scared, I'm just taking you somewhere to get your energy out."

"Huh?"

He doesn't say anymore and starts driving to a nearby clearing that he knows that no one ever goes into- it was a place he often went to at one time in his youth, but he had avoided it for decades. It's the perfect place for them to get their energy out- maybe it will exhaust them enough that they can do their jobs with no distraction. He pulls into the dirt road and parks a few yards from the clearing and turns off the car and opens his door.

"Alright, everyone out," he calls.

They clamber out of the car after him while he walks into the clearing and look around. Very little's changed in the few decades he hasn't been here- there's a tree leaning on another tree and a few more animal paths that he doesn't remember there being.

"What're we're we supposed to do here?" Soos asks.

Ugh, kids these days, he thinks with an audible grown. "Look, I know that you've been brainwashed by media and all that to not do anything physical, but the outdoors is your playground. Climb a tree or chase each other- y'know, kids stuff." When he still gets stares he sighs and scratches his chin and looks around for something to sees his ticket to gaining their interest and tries to measure up how his aged body will hold up to the temporary abuse. I'm gonna regret this.

He runs forward and uses a long fallen tree to jump off and land on the tree that leans on another and climbs up before turning and jumping to sturdy branch and pulling himself up to sit on it with a satisfied grin. He's surprised he can still do half the stuff that he just did. He'd put on quite a few pounds and tried to avoid physical activity whenever possible so to be able to get up there was impressive for him and- apparently- the minors standing on the ground and staring at him in awe.

"How'd you do that?" Wendy asks.

"Years of practice. I used to play outside when I was a kid," he informs and climbs down carefully. "But you should probably stay with the simple stuff."

He leans against a tree and watches the two climb the trees and try to copy what he did without him noticing and halting that effort.

"Mr. Pines, look at me!" He looks up at Wendy standing on a branch with one hand up and the other on the trunk of the tree a little too high for him to be comfortable with. "I'm queen of the world!"

Don't you dare fall, he thinks as he goes to stand closer to the tree. "That's nice, kid. Do you wanna come down a few branches?"

"Nope!" She giggles and then- as if they knew how to make him mad constantly- a raccoon pushes the girl off.

"Wendy!" Soos shouts in alarm.

I hate my life sometimes, Stanford thinks as he holds his arms out to catch the girl. He does catch the girl- luckily- but she weights more than he expects and ends up on the ground with the girl on his chest making it difficult to breathe. Why does this seem so familiar?

"Get... off," he wheezes in-between attempts of breath.

"Sorry!" She instantly jumps up and crouches beside him. "Thanks for saving me, Mr. Pines."

"Yeah, whatever," he grunts as he gets up. "Ow, everything hurts."

"You dudes okay?" Soos asks.

"I'm okay," Wendy says.

Stan pops his back as he straightens up and sighs. "Yeah, I'm good." He turns to Wendy. "You gotta be more careful, kid, you could've got seriously hurt."

"Yes, sir," she murmurs with her eyes to the ground and a pout on her face.

He ruffles her hair. "Don't worry about it. C'mon, we can get a snack or something before we go back to the Shack."

"Snack time! Snack time! Snack time!" Cheers the minors.

"Can we have tacos?" Soos asks.

"Yeah, I want tacos," Wendy replies.

"I guess we can have tacos."

-Three Tacos Later And A Sleepy Ten Minutes Later-

"Do you think we should wake him up?" The redhead asks warily.

Soos shakes his head. "Nah, he needs the sleep. Let's just go around and have some fun. There's this arcade that I always go to in town- wanna come?"

"Sure!"

The two leave Stan in the car- after they lock the door- and run off into town.

HAT: Oh, this outta be good. Also: GRAVITY FALLS! I'm so looking forward to the newest episode, every time the commercial comes on I get so excited and fangirl all over again (it's not weird).

Soos: Maybe you shouldn't watch it-

HAT: Say that again and I'll throw you to the molepeople.

Soos: *holds up hands* Dude, calm down, you can watch it!

HAT: *laughs nervously* S-sorry, Soos, it's just... I've been looking forward to this for a few months now and... I'm just really excited to see it- y'know?

Soos: I can totally understand- though it'd be nice if you stopped squealing.

HAT: That... wasn't me.

Stanley: *runs with Dipper squealing and clinging to his head* Get him off of me!

Soos: I think you dude better review.

HAT: *laughs and points at Stanley* Ha! That's what you get!