Title: One Step Ahead, Two Steps Behind
By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette
Spoilers: Captain America The Winter Soldier
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Word Count: 1124
Distribution: AO3. Anyone else please ask first :)
Summary: Steve needs to know if Peggy knew about Zola, the fluffy version. Post- Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Feedback PLEASE at:triplepirouettephile Or just hit the little button there.
AN: Filling in a scene I needed to see after the movie. There is no way that Peggy didn't know about Zola, at least in my mind. This could technically be a sequel to/live in the same universe as "The American Dream Deferred."
Thank you to Tumblr's Youcantgivemeorders for the beta!
He had to know. He had to know because he knew that she would never, but the possibility, the inkling that she would have…
The truth was that Peggy must have known that he was down there; that Zola was working with them.
He knew it would upset her to ask, but he had to know.
He didn't even make it past the doorway before his bright, sharp girl beat him to it, not even looking up at him from her place in bed. "So Zola finally made his move?"
He knew his mouth was agape as he stood there, scratches on the side of his face still recovering and itching from the stretch of regenerating tissue. She just laughed and held out her hand to him, silently inviting him to sit in the chair that was kept there just for him.
"You want to know what I knew." She said it plainly, sitting tall and looking better than she had in weeks.
He smiled and shook his head as he took her hand. "Always one step ahead of me, aren't you?"
She squeezed his hand, still frail and weak, but she was alive and vibrant and that was what counted. "I believe that was in my job description."
Steve's smile fell, his face slipping into a hard set. "I need to know, Peggy."
She nodded, twining her fingers with his. "I knew it would happen eventually. Not nearly as large scale, but I knew." She sighed. "After we captured him, well, I didn't have a voice. You don't know what it was like in those days in the SSR, Steve. It was worse after you were gone. The Colonel retired, the project was shut down. Red Skull was done, but the men making the decisions were men who had no idea what was going on, or how dangerous these people could be."
Peggy looked in his eyes, her face so very sad. "I tried to warn them, but they wouldn't have it. They said he'd changed, that he was going to work for us, that he would help us…" Peggy took a deep breath, looking sad and defeated, "but I knew."
"No one would listen?" Steve asked, leaning forward.
Peggy smiled wanly. "Only if I was asking what their lunch order was." She shook her head. "Howard did, and Philips. The Commandos, too, we all kept an eye on him, but we knew he was up to something. I could see it in his eyes every time he looked at me."
Steve leaned forward, wrapping his other hand around hers. "So, what did you do?"
Peggy shrugged. "We kept him close. Eventually, when we started Shield, we took him with us. There was nothing else to do but watch him."
Steve looked away, his voice full of regret. "How could you trust him?"
"I didn't," she replied, bright and flaming and full of the spitfire he was used to from her. "I never trusted him." Peggy shrugged and looked out the window, the memories taking hold for a moment. "We never could figure out what it was. We went through his databases, through all of his communications, we kept trusted guards with him constantly for information, but we could never quite figure out what it was that he was doing. But I could only do so much. It wasn't enough, apparently."
Steve looked back at Peggy, ashamed of his accusation. "I'm sorry, I-"
"No," She let her hand rest on his cheek, the warmth suffusing through her. "You have every right to be angry. People died." Peggy shook her head. "I should have tried harder." She sighed, looking up at the television across from here where the muted newscast showed the wreckage in the Potomac. "What was it that he did? Newscasts are far too vague."
Steve watched as they extracted piece after piece of the ships. "He was rebuilding Hydra from inside SHIELD."
Her head snapped to him so quickly he was afraid that she'd hurt herself. "What?"
"Double agents, Peggy," he whispered, knowing how badly it hurt her with every wrinkle that deepened as she frowned. "They turned on SHIELD and their country."
"I never should have let it happen," she whispered, turning back to the television. "I should have done anything necessary." She shook her head, grasping at their clasped hands. "Thank you for cleaning up our mess. Just another thing we mucked up."
He didn't know what to say, so he just cradled her hands in his, watching as the newscast switched over to vibrant commercials.
She smiled up at him, even through the tears in her eyes. "I'm so glad you're alright. Someone caught video of you falling from the ship that they just kept replaying on the news… I was afraid I'd watched you die again."
He shook his head, smiling sadly at her. "I won't let that happen." He didn't say all the things that statement meant, didn't voice out loud that he'd have to mourn her, that he'd have to stand by her grave and finally find a way to let go like she had all those years ago.
She was so strong, his Peggy, so very strong. He thought about telling her about Bucky, about sharing it all, and then he saw her eyes again, devastated as she watched them pile body bags into vans on the television. She didn't need anything else to be guilty for, not at all.
He cleared his throat. "I'm going after them, Peg." She turned back to him, hope dawning on her face. "I'm going to find them all, cut off every head of that damn Hydra until there's nothing left. I'm going to end this once and for all."
"You will, I know it." Her blind faith in him was almost too much after the last few weeks. It almost hurt to see the trust in her eyes.
"I might," he swallowed hard, looking down and back up again, "I might not be able to be back for a while."
"Oh, Steve," she whispered, "do be careful." She shook her head. "Things have changed so much."
Steve leaned in, kissing her cheek gently. "I always am." He stood, His eyes clouded with fear and purpose. In staying away, in looking for Bucky, he'd lose precious moments that he'd never get back with Peggy. She didn't have many moments left to give him. "I'll be back when I can," he promised, doing his best to keep his voice level.
She smiled up at him, serene. "I know. I'll be waiting, my darling."
It was all he could do to turn and leave, the past heavy on his shoulders as he fought to find his way into the future.