Insomnia

Atsushi wasn't well. He hadn't been for a few days. En is determined to help.


(Quick note: I couldn't fit this in anywhere into the story itself, but this is meant to be set somewhere early on. Somewhere after Ep 2-3ish. Just as a point of reference.)


Atsushi wasn't well. He hadn't been for a few days.

Though he hid it behind a calm smile like always, En could tell that his gait was slower, his posture was poorer, and his eyes lacked their usual focus. En didn't say anything, knowing that Atsushi would shy away at the first sign of confrontation, but he kept a vigilant watch, and silently hinted for Atsushi to talk to him. But it wasn't long before the rest of the Defense Club caught on, and unlike En, they had no reservations about asking.

Or at least Yumoto didn't anyway.

"Atsushi-senpai, what's wrong?" the energetic first year asked in a quiet tone, "You don't look so good."

It took Atsushi a moment to realize he was being addressed, but when he saw Yumoto's wide eyes, he forced a smile and said, "I'm fine. Just a bit too into this book." He held up the small paperback.

"You're lying," Yumoto said reproachfully, "You haven't turned the page once since you opened it. And you look like you're going to join Tawarayama-sensei at any moment."

His word choice was… poor, for lack of a better word, but it caught everyone's attention, earning Yumoto four frazzled glares, and a stunned look from Atsushi.

"Yumoto," Ryuu hissed.

"You can't say that so thoughtlessly," Io scolded.

"It's not thoughtless, it's true!" Yumoto retorted, then turned back to Atsushi, "I'm right, aren't I? If you're feeling sick, I can carry you home."

His offer was sincere, and the mental image of Yumoto trying to carry him made Atsushi laugh slightly. "Thank you, but I think I'm a bit too tall for you to carry."

"Then, then…" Yumoto pointed at En, "En-chan-senpai can carry you!"

"I don't mind," En told him.

"I don't need to be carried though," Atsushi sighed, "and I'm not feeling ill either."

"Kinugawa-senpai," Ryuu said, "Yumoto could have worded it better, but he's not wrong. You really do look like you're ready to collapse."

"There's really no reason to force yourself to stay here either," Io added, "I doubt any monsters will be showing up, so you should go home and rest."

"But—

"And if they do show up, we'll just beat them into next week," Yumoto grinned, happy to have people agreeing with him. He grabbed Atsushi's wrist, "Now, come on—

"Will you cut it out!"

No sooner had Yumoto tugged on him, Atsushi smacked his hand away. Then, upon realizing what he'd just said and how hurt Yumoto's expression was, he hastily added, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Yumoto. You're just trying to help and I…"

He groaned and buried his face in his hands. En immediately jumped from his chair, and stood over him, hand on shoulder. "Atsushi, what's wrong?"

"Senpai?" Yumoto whispered and gingerly touched his arm as well. Ryuu and Io looked on concerned, and even Wombat moved closer.

"I'm fine," Atsushi sighed, "Just felt a little dizzy for a second."

"Then—

"Alright, that's it, I'm taking you home," En said, "Yumoto, grab his bag."

"No, it's fine. I'm not sick," Atsushi said firmly, "The truth is, I just haven't been sleeping too well lately."

The tension in everyone's faces visibly relaxed, though the concern remained.

"Hmm, is that all?" Yumoto was, once again, the first to speak.

"What do you mean "Is that all?"" En frowned, "Sleep is important."

"How long has this been going on?" Io asked.

"About a week, I guess?" Atsushi shrugged, "I can't seem to get comfortable, and when I do finally fall asleep, I just wake up a couple of hours later and can't go back to sleep."

"Hmm, maybe there's a pea under your mattress?" Yumoto suggested, eliciting groans and facepalms across the room.

"Alright, that's it," Ryuu picked up Wombat by the scruff of his neck and dropped him into Yumoto's arms, "Take this and go sit in the corner."

"Just kidding," Yumoto stuck his tongue out, "You know, when I can't sleep, Gora-An-chan gives me warm milk and tells me a story. That puts me right out!"

"Is that so?" Atsushi said warily.

"Yep. An-chan has the best stories. Like the one about how to properly chop wood. It's a classic."

"How to properly chop wood?" Io repeated slowly.

"That sounds like a snooze fest for sure," Ryuu muttered, though Yumoto heard him anyway.

"Yep!" he agreed, "Atsushi-senpai, wanna sleep over tonight? I'll ask Gora-An-chan to tell it."

"N-no, that's fine," Atsushi avoided looking at Yumoto when he spoke, "I'm sure Gora-san has… more important things to do."

"Not to mention, I've heard that one sleeps best when they're in their own bed," Io added, catching Atsushi grateful look, "Sleeping over might just cause more stress." En and Ryuu hastily nodded in agreement.

"Fine," Yumoto pouted.

"T-thank you though," Atsushi added quickly, "I'll try the warm milk tonight." This seemed to be enough for Yumoto, for now.

"What else can we try though?" Ryuu looked at En, "Yufuin-senpai, do you have anything? What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Does that even happen to you?" Io added.

"Rarely, but it does," En shrugged, "Usually when I'm thinking too hard about something. But my methods are…" he looked at Atsushi sheepishly.

"Calling me, and getting whatever it is off his chest," Atsushi finished.

"A shared suffering then," Ryuu remarked, "But yeah, I do something similar if I can't sleep. I browse the web and chat with girls until I feel sleepy."

"Staring at the phone screen just keeps you more awake though," Io pointed out.

"Well what do you do?"

Io hesitated a moment before answering. "Sleeping pills."

Atsushi considered it. "My mom probably has some in her medicine cabinet. I'm willing to try anything at this point. But…"

"Don't worry," En squeezed his shoulder, "We've got four heads here plus Wombat. We'll think of something."

"Yeah…" Atsushi lowered his gaze, "Thanks."

They spent a while longer chatting about various sleeping methods, even looking some more up online, when their ideas ran out. Atsushi promised to try some of them out and thanked them all profusely, but as soon as he and En split off from the others on the walk home, En knew that all of those methods would likely be forgotten and Atsushi would just go back to suffering in silence.

It wasn't fair how useless En had been in that conversation. And it wasn't fair that Yumoto had been the one to drag the answer out of his best friend. En knew he wouldn't have been able to do that. He would have been too direct and irritating and only would have upset Atsushi further. (Yumoto, at least, was so genuinely sincere in his irritating bluntness that it was hard to stay upset with him for long.)

But that only made En more determined to be the one to solve this. The others may have had ideas about how to solve the problem, but En had an inkling about the heart of the matter.

He didn't miss the way Atsushi's eyes looked when he'd mentioned Wombat.

"Atsushi," he said, "Sleep over tonight."

Atsushi shook his head. "No, I'd better not. One sleeps best in their own bed, right?"

"Don't give me that," En frowned, "Maybe all you need is a change of pace. You've always slept well at my place before."

"But—

"Won't know until you try," He wrapped his arm around his shoulder, "Come on."

It took a little more convincing on En's part, but finally Atsushi agreed to spend the night, stopping by his house to grab his things. Were it up to En, he would have gone to bed right away, but Atsushi insisted on doing his homework and having dinner with En's family first. He maintained a cheerful enough front in front of them. En's parents adored Atsushi and were always happy to have him over; if they found out about his insomnia they would have been just as coddling as Yumoto was. Maybe that would have been better though, En wondered, If his suspicions were wrong, maybe it would have been better to drag an adult into this.

He didn't think he was wrong though. But he wasn't sure how to approach Atsushi right away, and first settled on trying to get him to sleep.

"Right then, you take the bed," En said crawling into the futon without a moment's hesitation.

"En-chan, no," Atsushi said, "It's your house. You take the bed."

"Atsushi, I can sleep anywhere. You know that," En assured him, "You're the one who needs it more tonight."

Reluctantly, Atsushi agreed. Between the two of them, Atsushi easily had the more comfortable bed, but En's mattress was older and far more slept-in, giving it a sort of cozier feeling. And if nothing else, perhaps the eternal drowsiness of its owner would find its way to Atsushi.

En wasn't kidding about being able to sleep anywhere, and as soon as the lights went out, he found himself battling sleep. He stayed awake though, listening to the way Atsushi kept tossing and turning on his bed.

After a while, Atsushi gave up. "As I thought, I really don't feel right leaving you on the floor. En-chan, let's switch."

"Hmm."

"I know you're not asleep yet."

"I'm comfortable though."

"Well, I'm not," Atsushi sighed, "You have an extra futon in your closet right? I'm borrowing it." Before En could protest, Atsushi turned on the desk lamp, and already ducked into the closet to fish it out. En watched him lay it out a few feet away and sighed.

"Wait, at least take this one. That one hasn't been aired out in ages."

"It's fine." Atsushi turned off the light, crawled in, and turned away.

En lay on his back and silently waited. Sure enough the tossing and turning began again.

"Atsushi, take the bed. You're not comfortable in the futon."

"I'm not comfortable on the bed either," he retorted, voice cracking slightly, "Sorry, maybe I should just go home. I'm only going to keep you up like this." He sat up and En frowned when he saw hands rubbing eyes.

"Don't," En told him. Without waiting for Atsushi's response, En got up, and dragged his futon so that the two mats were touching.

"What are you—

"Shh, c'mere," En whispered and pulled Atsushi back down onto the mat hugging him tightly from behind, "If you left now, I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. Shared suffering, remember?"

"Sorry. I didn't want to make you worry," Atsushi whispered and tried to break free of the hug. But En's grip was strong.

"I worry more when you don't talk to me," En continued, "I know you, Atsushi. You get stressed out over something and then you can't think about anything else. You stop eating—

"I eat. My appetite's been fine lately."

"That's only because of the insomnia," En told him, "Which is new, but equally worrisome. My point is, whenever I get like this, I call you in the middle of the night and keep you up for hours."

"I don't mind."

"I know, that's why I do it. And I'd tell you to do it too, but I know you won't."

"Sorry."

"It's fine," En sighed. Atsushi could feel his warm breath on the back of his neck, "Because you're my quiet, caring, pensive Atsushi, who likes to keep things bottled up."

"En-chan…"

"I won't ask you what's wrong. I won't force you to talk if you don't want to. But know that your supportive, pain-in-the-ass, En-chan is always nearby. Whatever bothers you, remember that we're in it together, and when you do want to talk, I'll…"

He trailed off. His protective grip on Atsushi's waist slackened slightly, and his breathing settled into a steady rhythm. It took Atsushi a moment to realize that he'd fallen asleep, just like that.

"Supportive, pain-in-the-ass is right," Atsushi smiled softly and tried to squirm out of En's grip again. He failed. "But thank you, En-chan."

He was on a slightly dusty futon, pulled tightly to En's side, with En breathing onto his neck. Under no circumstances was this a comfortable position.

But Atsushi slept well that night.


AN: Thanks for reading. This was very heavily inspired by the Hetalia Sheep Counting CDs. Seriously. (Although, in the end there was no sheep counting to be found. ^^")
(Also note how my last attempt at writing Enatsu ended with a food pun, and this attempt at writing purely platonic fluff ended with cuddling... Le sigh)