For the Endless Reflection Challenge. WIP, more chapters to come before the June 1, 2015 deadline. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, no copyright infringement intended. Substance of the story is my own.

The Functionality of Sporks

"Wait, say that again?" Duo Maxwell asked in disbelief.

"I broke my leg." Heero Yuy repeated tonelessly.

"Yeah, I can see that," Duo replied, gesturing at Heero's right leg that was currently suspended from the ceiling. "And I bet you did more than just break it."

Heero nodded. "3 fractures, one clean break and torn ligaments in my knee."

"Well that explains this," Duo lightly tapped on the plaster encasing Heero's leg from heel to mid-thigh.

"I also have a fractured collar bone and three bruised ribs."

"Of course," Duo responded sarcastically. "Anything else?"

"Some bruising, cuts and scrapes."

"Uh huh," Duo nodded, "and this happened how?"

"I fell off my neighbour's roof."

Duo rubbed at his face, his callused fingertips scraping against his stubble. "And you were on your neighbour's roof because…?" he asked in exasperation.

"Her granddaughter's cat got up on the roof and couldn't get down."

"Right…" Duo pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt the beginnings of a full-blown headache fast-approaching. "You want me to believe that you, Mr. Perfect Soldier, fell off a roof?"

"It was slippery, the shingles were covered in frost," Heero replied almost defensively.

"O-K-" Duo drawled out the two syllables. "So you fell off your neighbour's roof because of a cat?"

"It was slippery," Heero repeated sullenly.

"Yeah, we covered that. And you weren't up there chasing some terrorist or maybe even a thief?" Duo asked almost hopefully.

"No."

"So there's no big threat to earth or the colonies?"

"No."

"A regional threat then?"

"No."

"A threat to the city even?"

"No."

"A threat to your neighbourhood?"

"No."

"A threat to you then?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

Duo sighed heavily and slumped back against the wall, letting the stark white wall bear his weight. "So let me get this straight. I don't hear from you for close to 15 years. All of a sudden I get a message using our old war codes asking me, no telling me to come to New York. I drop everything and haul ass from L2 with my war kit," Duo pointed to the leather duffle at his feet, "and I get to the hospital thinking you've been injured trying to stop the next Operation Meteor or that you were being held here against your will or something and you're telling me that you fell off your neighbour's roof because of a cat!?"

"Yes."

"And you called me why?" Duo demanded hoarsely.

"They're discharging me today."

"So?"

"I can't use crutches."

"Because of your ribs and collarbone," Duo nodded wearily. "They've given you a chair." Duo pointed to the wheelchair sitting next to the bed.

"My apartment building doesn't have an elevator."

"And? I still don't see what that's got to do with me…" Duo trailed off as the gears in his exhausted brain finally clicked into place.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

"You just had to pick the top floor," Duo huffed as he trudged up the last few steps. "Which one?"

"511," Heero replied through clenched teeth.

"Aw, shit Heero, the end of the hall? Seriously?" Duo huffed as he adjusted his fireman's carry. Heero groaned in pain as the shift in position jostled his broken ribs.

"I'd say sorry but like I just said, you just had to pick the top floor," Duo grunted as he maneuvered Heero off his shoulder and propped him up against the wall next to the door labeled '511'. "Keys?"

Heero reached gingerly into his coat pocket and produce a set of keys.

Duo cracked a wry grin as he plucked the keys from Heero's hand. "And here I was looking forward to busting down your door."

"You could easily pick the lock," Heero retorted.

"Left my lock picks in the car."

"They're not in your braid?" Heero asked before his eyes widened in surprise. "Your braid!"

"Huh? You just noticed?" Duo's grin widened as he tugged at the roll of hair secured to the nape of his neck.

Heero blinked in confusion. "But why? The braid was more practical than whatever that is…"

"It's a man bun," Duo declared with a twinkle in his eye as he pushed open the door to Heero's apartment, "and I'll have you know it's a hit with the ladies!"

"You said you'd never cut off your braid," Heero stubbornly clung to the topic despite Duo's obvious attempts to laugh it off.

"A mishap in the shop proved me wrong. And to be honest, it was time to let go. Now," Duo slung Heero's good arm over his shoulder. "I hope you're up for a short walk because I'm tired of lugging you around."

Heero grunted in reply as he leaned heavily on Duo's shoulder and limped into his apartment.

"Cozy," Duo commented as he took stock of his surroundings. "I'd never have pegged you for settling in a place like this."

"Hn."

"'Hn' he says," Duo muttered to himself as he levered Heero onto the surprisingly comfortable looking couch. "Sit tight for now and let me get my bearings," Duo commanded as he carefully propped Heero's foot on top of some pillow's he'd placed on the coffee table.

"I'll head out and pick up your meds," Duo said as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "You'd think the hospital pharmacy would actually be stocked with your meds."

"You should wear a jacket," Heero remarked from the couch.

"I'll be fine," Duo replied, rolling down the sleeves of his black button-down shirt.

"Don't be stupid, the weather forecast says it's going to start snowing again."

"Yeah, I know that Heero," Duo responded wearily. "We watched the forecast in the hospital together remember?"

"You didn't bring a jacket," Heero surmised. "You haven't changed, still rushing into things without a proper plan."

"Yeah? And you're still a dick!" Duo retorted. "You really want to piss off the guy that just hauled you up five flights of stairs? The guy who's got your prescription? The guy that just made a 20 hour trip from the colonies? The guy who's going to be bunking with you for the next six weeks?"

"You can borrow a coat," Heero nodded his head towards the closet next to the door.

Duo opened the door to the coat closet and paused in surprise. "For a guy who used to run around in just a wife-beater and spandex shorts, you sure got a lot of coats."

"Take the gray one, it's the warmest."

"Thanks," Duo glanced out of the living room windows. "On second thought, I'm going to check out your supplies. Snow's coming down heavy and I think we might get snowed in tonight."

Heero watched as Duo trekked into his kitchen and poked around his fridge and cupboards. "Hmm, should have known," he muttered to himself before heading to the bathroom. A minute later he re-emerged, grumbling under his breath. "You're sorely lacking in stuff man. I'll be back in an hour so. No, make that two. You good until then?" he asked as he shrugged into Heero's light gray coat.

Heero nodded.

"I'll take your word for it then. You have my number if something comes up?"

Heero nodded again.

"Ok, well in the meantime, here," Duo placed two water bottles on the coffee table, next to Heero's foot. One bottle was full, the other one was empty.

"Why are you leaving me an empty bottle?"

"It's called planning ahead. And for the record, you pulled off more hair-brained shit then I did during the wars."

"Hn."

"I've got half a mind to not leave you the bottle for still being such a dick but then again you'd probably pull some stupid shit like trying to get to the bathroom yourself and then I'll be stuck here for the extra weeks it'll take you to heal."

"Hn," Heero repeated again as the door snicked shut behind Duo.

"I heard that!" Duo shouted back through the door.

"Man I'm drained," Duo sighed as he flopped down heavily on the armchair across from Heero with a bottle of beer in hand. "Ugh," he grimaced as he took his first sip, "it's warm. You'd think two hours in the freezing cold would do the trick."

"You were gone for three and a half," Heero retorted.

"Well if you hadn't noticed, the snow's coming down pretty heavy out there. General consensus is that we might get snowed in over the weekend so everyone was out stocking up on supplies."

Heero glared.

"I can see that you haven't lost your 'I'll kill you glare', even after all these years. But seriously man, you were severely lacking in some essentials."

"What essentials?"

"Well, beer for one. Steak. Oh, and how can you not have shampoo and conditioner? I mean seriously man, soap's good and all but not for you hair! I mean, no wonder it sticks up all crazy like that."

At Duo's words Heero subconsciously reached up and ran his hand through his scruffy hair.

"I gotta say though Heero, this isn't exactly how I expected to find you," Duo gestured to the cozy room around them, "in a place you could almost find homey. I mean you got all the nice furniture, even some knick knacks."

Heero shrugged. "It's just IKEA."

"IKEA?" Duo's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Seriously? Now that you mention it your place does look like one of the pages from their catalogues…"

Heero shrugged again. "I liked the pictures in the catalogue, the rooms looked normal and… inviting."

"Is that so?" Duo took another swig of his beer and grimaced again. "You put the furniture together by yourself?"

Heero nodded.

"Heh, I bet that was fun."

"Fun?"

"Well, the way I hear it, lots of people end up smashing their furniture in the process of trying to assemble it."

"Hn. The instructions were less than optimal. But the furniture is functional and cost-effective."

"Gotcha. Well since you're place is a one-bedroom, I'm guessing the lucky item of functional and cost-effective furniture I'm going to be sleeping on tonight is the couch you're sitting on right now."

"You can take the bedroom, I'll sleep here." Heero replied quickly.

"No way in hell. I'm not taking an injured man's bed. And the sooner you get better, the sooner I can get back to L2."

Heero didn't respond.

"Well I really need to crash soon so let's get this show on the road. Dinner first and then your meds. After that it's bedtime."

"It's three o'clock in the afternoon," Heero commented blandly.

"Oh yeah?" Duo drained his bottle as he rose from his seat. "Well buddy, I've been up for 40 hours straight, the first 35 or so of those I spent thinking that we might be on the brink of another war or rebellion so excuse me if I'm a little tired," he snapped half-heartedly.

"I'm sorry," Heero stated quietly. "I made a mistake calling -"

"Look, it's fine ok? I'm just getting too old to be running around for days without sleep," Duo interrupted Heero as he pulled out two frozen dinners from the freezer he'd just stocked.

"Thirty isn't old."

"Well I don't know about you but some days it feels plenty old," Duo slammed the microwave door shut.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you said that. Just drop it, I'll be good after I get some sleep."

"I shouldn't have…"

"Shit Heero, you're not gonna hand me a gun and ask me to shoot you are you?"

"How do you know about that?"

Duo gave him a pointed look.

"That was over fifteen years ago Duo."

"Uh huh. It's been fifteen years but shooting you is still a major temptation, especially when you're being an unreasonable dick."

"You did shoot me. Twice."

Duo chuckled. "Don't tell me you still hold a grudge," he asked as his chuckle grew into full blown laughter.

"It's been fifteen years Duo."

"So you keep saying," Duo said as he retrieved the two steaming dinners from the microwave and handed one to Heero. "What?" he asked in exasperation as Heero grimaced.

"One of these dinners has 87% of the daily recommended sodium intake."

"Seriously Heero, I'm old, I'm tired, I'm cranky and I'm starving," Duo growled, peeling the plastic off his microwave dinner. "So shut up and eat your dinner," he ordered as he shoved a piece of hamburger meat into his mouth.

"Or what?" Heero asked humourlessly. "You'll shoot me?"

Duo paused mid-chew and stared the man sitting across from him with his foot propped up on the coffee table and staring petulantly at the tray of food on his lap. "Heh," he chuckled. "Nah, I'll just stab you with my spork."

AN: Yes, yes I should be working on other things. But then I got the message about the Endless Reflection Challenge and my muses couldn't resist. A 20th anniversary is nothing to scoff at. Not complete yet but getting there. Will have the whole thing up by June 1st, promise!

Trying something a little light-hearted and fun. Hope you enjoy.