My duo unit with Pile-chan Please&Secret, just celebrated its one year anniversary yesterday. It was fun and overwhelming because we can really feel the support and love of our fans. If I have to say a pun right now, I'd say that, my role as Secret fits me perfectly because I have lots of secrets to keep. I know that isn't funny. Nan-chan might even make fun of me for it.

What's new about that? She always does it anyway, not that I'm complaining. She teases everyone. She may be five years older than me but we have the same mental age. We are both very to fond of our youngest member Rippi. She's a lot more mature than the two of us. She dresses fashionably and acts as a lady. That's the reason why I can say that we both want to be like Rippi.

"Kussun, the bath is ready, you can go ahead. I will buy something outside for our dinner." Nan-chan said walking in to the room.

"Can't I just go with you?" I shyly said. She thought for a while before giving me a teasing smile.

"Hmm.. Why?"

"Ehh? W-well, I'd feel bad to let you go by yourself."

"Is that really it or you're just afraid to take a bath while you are alone here with my cat?"

"I-t's not that!"

"Haha! But really I can go by myself. I won't go too far and I won't take long. I promise."

"O-okay then."

Defeated as always, I just saw her off then went to bath. Staying over at Nan-chan's house had never been this nerve-wrecking. She invited me for the night since it has been a while already, and I accepted. I'm saying this but the truth is, I'm happy that she invited me.

This isn't my first time here and yet, I feel so nervous for some reason. Is it because a lot of things are already different? Different like how close we are now, how we treat each other, how I see her and, how I feel for her. Those are very different now compared from the last time I stayed over here.

After that surprise they gave me during our live for my birthday, I knew my feelings for Nan-chan just got stronger. Every time we're recording for Radio Garden, or anytime we are left together, I am fighting hard to hold myself from staring at her or hold her hand. I don't want her to notice yet. I am not ready to confess though I told Emitsun and Pile-chan that I'm already considering it.

We may look so close or sweet with each other but recently I started to wonder. Is it just for show or can I hope for something deeper? There are times where I don't get Nan-chan at all. I can't always tell what she's thinking. I am sometimes left wondering if she thinks of me too.

"Kussun are you alright?! Aah-"

"N-Nan-chan?"

Both of us were in state of shock. Nan-chan all of a sudden appeared in the bath just in time as I have wrapped the towel to my body which was a relief because it saved me from greater embarrassment. She was the first one to recover. She immediately closed the door again. Is it my imagination only, or I really saw her blush? But that should be natural. Even I am blushing myself right now.

"I-I'm sorry. I h-have been calling you since I a-arrived but you are not answering so I panicked that something had happened to you and r-rushed here." She explained with her cute stutters.

"I'm s-sorry too. I was in deep thought that I didn't hear you Nan-chan. And I'm sorry for worrying you as well."

She started with a giggle that soon after turned into laugh. I couldn't help but laugh along.

"I guess we're just equal."

"Yeah. Ha ha.. I'm about to get out so you can start getting ready to take your bath."

"O-okay." She replied still laughing.

I dressed myself in her room while she's taking her bath. What she bought outside were instant ramen, and some beers. Did we plan to drink tonight? And, didn't she stock things like this on her fridge? I wondered to myself.

"Ahh~ That was refreshing."

This time I noticed her. She peeked in to the room who seemed to be wearing only her bath robes and towel on her head.

"Kussun, I will leave boiling the water to you."

"O-okay I got it. Get dressed already or you'll get cold."

Instant ramen isn't a proper meal for dinner but since we have work early tomorrow, I can let this pass. I just hope she isn't always like this. I'll make sure to ask her to eat somewhere tomorrow to have a proper meal.

When she walked back to the room, she dressed like the usual again, pants and shirt.

"Nan-chan, this isn't a proper meal. I could've just cooked you know."

"Sorry. You know that we have work tomorrow."

"I just hope you are not always like this."

"If you're worrying then, would you be willing to cook dinner for me from now on?"

Surprised with what she said, I just stared at Nan-chan not knowing how to respond. A minute didn't pass before she start giggling.

"I was just joking Kussun. Hahahaha!"

"Nan-chan!"

I frowned at her even while we're eating. I'm already used to her teasing but I want her to feel at least a little guilty this time and it was effective. She kept on looking at me maybe to check if I'm still upset with what she did. She didn't let our silence last till we finished eating. She grabbed my right arm all of a sudden and declared, "Let's do an arm wrestling right now."

"Eeh? Why?"

"Because you're mad at me so I want you to take it out."

"I'm not actually mad." I said to her but Nan-chan had already positioned are arms to fight. As soon as her left hand had signaled us to start, force came from both our arms.

At first, I was putting up a fight but when I started to notice how much our palms were touching, I grew conscious and couldn't concentrate anymore. Did her hand got softer compare to last time?

Just like the last time we did this, our hands stayed on that position. Neither of us could make the other move. How come Nan-chan hasn't taken my hand down yet especially now that I can't focus on our match anymore? Being disturbed with the beats of my heart, I couldn't release enough strength to fight but, what about Nan-chan? Is she that tired or is she really letting me take it out on her? No it's not that, obviously. When I tried looking at her, she was staring back. We looked into each other for some seconds before breaking our hold into each other's hand.

"L-let's just finish this already then go to sleep."

"Y-yeah, before it gets late." Is she blushing too?

Even though she said that, after cleaning up, she asked me to play her video games with her. She reasoned that she isn't sleepy yet, and because I am not yet tired as well, I agreed. I didn't know how many hours had passed while we were playing. We got into competing with each other too much. When we decided to stopped, it was already almost 1am.

"Let's go to sleep for real this time. I'm already tired." I said stretching my arms in the air.

"Ehh.. Okay. But there's one last thing I want to do before we go to sleep."

"What is it?"

"Since we're together tonight, why don't we fulfill that thing from our promised notes?"

"W-which one?"

"Stargazing." She said with a wide smile.

Beneath those eyeglasses she's wearing, I could see the excitement in her eyes.

"That's a great idea." I smiled back to her.

We walked to the terrace of her apartment after cleaning ourselves, ready to sleep anytime. Luckily, the night sky is full of stars. We quietly observed for some minutes until Nan-chan pointed out a passing shooting star.

"Did you saw it?"

"Yes I did."

"What did you wished for?"

"I didn't get to. It came and passed by too fast. What about you Nan-chan?"

"I certainly did." She proudly said

"Ehh really? What did you wished for?"

"I won't tell you. Ha ha"

"That's unfair! You're asking for mine but you are not willing to tell yours?"

"It's not like you made a wish to have something to tell me right?"

"I don't have to make a wish to have something to tell you-" Did I just dug my own grave?

"You have? Why don't you tell me now?"

"I-it's nothing." Why did I have to turn this situation so troublesome? She won't let me off so easily.

"If it's nothing then tell me now."

"No."

"Kussun."

"I don't want to."

"If you had not gotten me curious I wouldn't bother you about it."

"It's too late Nan-chan, let's sleep already." I start dragging her back inside. "It's too cold out here so we really should go back inside."

"I wished that I could be more honest with myself, particularly my feelings." She blurted out breaking our contact to stop me from dragging her inside.

"Nan-chan?"

"That is what I wished for on the shooting star. That kinda sounds stupid right? I don't even need a shooting star for it to be granted. It all depends on me. And yet…. I guess I'm just asking for help."

She's smiling at me but she looks very fragile. I got too focused on my own feelings and didn't notice that the person precious to me is troubled about something.

"Telling you about my wish is my first step to granting that wish."

"Words aren't the only way to be honest with yourself. Nan-chan, whatever it is that's troubling you, there can be unlimited number of ways to solve that. Don't forget that I'm also here for you. I- I mean everyone is."

"Haha.. It suddenly felt like I was talking to Nozomi." She smiled, her usual smile

"Well, that's because it felt like I was talking to Eli too." I said smiling back

She looked at me expectantly and then I realized why she gave in and said that. She wants me to say it too. What am I supposed to do now?

"N- Nan-chan… Y-you see umm.." I began. She continued to look at me listening carefully to every word I say. "I.. umm.."

She waited for me to continue patiently. Why did I even wonder about it. Nan-chan was just being Nan-chan. She won't do things she didn't mean. Her actions aren't just for show. It's what she wants to do. Her wish about being honest with herself has long been granted by none other than herself. I should never doubt her actions again. Realizing these made me feel stupid again. I guess I am thinking about this too much.

I couldn't hold it when the realization made me want to get more of Nan-chan and so I grabbed her right arm and hugged it tightly. "I can't imagine myself disliking you. That is what I wanted to say. Let's go back inside. It's really late and cold out here. We should go to sleep now." I said as if I'm being chased by someone. She just nodded and didn't protest when I started dragging her inside again. I could say that she was surprised with what I said. That's almost a love confession too after all and I can't deny that I'm feeling hot right now.

I didn't argue anymore when she asked me to sleep with her on her bed. She was worrying that her cat might scratch me accidentally if I slept on the futon.

"Thanks for staying here Kussun, I had fun."

"Me too."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Nan-chan."

We smiled to each other before shutting our eyes off.

Let's save the real confession in the future. For now I can be contented with this.