Chapter 1 - Even Hikigaya Hachiman can be Blackmailed

Ahh, so warm. That was the only thought in my head as I sipped the usual steeped tea. The difference today was the warm flow of air that I could feel coming from the small heater placed in the centre of the open but not barren clubroom.

"It's so warm today!" Yuigahama cheerfully cried out. "We finally got that heater fixed."

"So it seems." Yukinoshita gave a nonchalant response, and nodded towards Yuigahama beside her. For some reason, the two were still sharing the same blanket, even though there was now absolutely no need to. In fact, aren't you hot in there? I'm starting to feel unexpectedly hot just looking at you two. Too warm, too warm!

"Well yeah, that irresponsible teacher finally got around to doing what she should've done."

"Look who's talking. Hikigaya kun, I don't think you have any ground to criticize Hiratsuka sensei."

*tap tap*

Yukinoshita's cold retort was cut off by a familiar knocking at the door.

"Well, it is about that time isn't it?" Yukinoshita noted and turned towards the doorway. "Come in, Isshiki san."

"Hello hello!" The flaxen haired girl entered the clubroom in her fashion. The sleeves of her oversized cardigan moved with the waving of her hand, and on her face was her trademark impish grin.

"Iroha chan, Yahallo!"

"Hello, Isshiki san."

"Um…hello."

We threw out our usual greetings, but this time, instead of going to join Yuigahama and Yukinoshita to form their human peas in a pod, Isshiki Iroha stood where she was at the door.

"Come, Iroha chan, sit down!" As if to emphasize her words, Yuigahama slided in her seat slightly towards Yukinoshita, making room for another beside her.

"Well, actually this time I have something to ask senpai. Can I borrow him for a while?" While speaking, Isshiki swiftly moved to my side, pulling on my right arm.

"Huh? Ah, wait!" I spit out a swift response before being pulled to my feet. The two girls at the opposite end of the table also tense up, and both quickly get to their feet.

"W…wait a moment, Isshiki san."

"H…hikki!"

"I'll just be a moment, I'll give him back right away." I sneak a look past my shoulder as I'm forcefully pulled out to the hallway. Two pairs of intense eyes stare back at me. "I won't even scratch him, guaranteed!" Just what am I to this girl, just a toy to be borrowed?

"So, what's this about?" I face Isshiki out in the chilly hallway. Just please let me get this over with so I can return to my warm clubroom, please…

"Actually, senpai. I have another request for you." Isshiki leaned forward and looked up at me. Her straight and smooth hair flicker momentarily in front of her eyes, which sparkle slightly as they look up at me.

"Another one?" Oy, wasn't this girl giving us too many requests? I mean, the service club does advertise solving any request, but wasn't this overdoing it? It was like a fancy restaurant placing a bowl of mints at the exit. They'll say take as many as you need, but usually you would just take one or two out of consideration for other people and the restaurant. In that sense, Isshiki Iroha was like the greedy kid who insisted on grabbing a handful, or even the entire bowl, no matter what her parents said. This girl is way too childish…

"I know we're supposed to help with any request, but the service club isn't an all you can eat buffet, you know? It'll be good for you to solve some problems on your own." I looked down at Isshiki and made sure to lecture her properly. Crap, my oniichan instinct is slipping out again.

"No, not like that, senpai!" Isshiki made a frown with her small and delicate lips. "This isn't a request for the club, it's for you. Why did you think I dragged you out here alone?"

"For me?"

"Yeah. Senpai, can we go together to that new waterpark this Saturday? I really need to get rid of these tickets." Isshiki beamed up with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Ha?" What the heck, I was planning on having a nice relaxing weekend of gluttony and sloth. What will my potato chips and Sekina Aoi light novels do without me? "Are you sure you don't want to go with Hayama instead? And, why do you have to go in the first place?"

"Eh, that'd be too embarrassing. Besides, Hayama senpai's busy."

"Then go with someone else. Or go by yourself, for all I care."

"That's impossible, senpai. These tickets were a gift from the vice president and secretary, and they expire the day after that. Besides, these are couple tickets, they were doing a special promotion and it ended up being cheaper than a single ticket. They won't even let me in alone. It'll be a shame to let them go to waste." Isshiki puffed up her cheeks and pushed her arms out to her side, trying to do her best impression of a cute pouting underclassman.

"I refuse." I won't fall for your tricks again. Being led around all day and toyed with on the whims of Isshiki Iroha last time was enough for a lifetime. It definitely wasn't fun, you hear?

"I still have those photos of us together from last time, senpai." Whoa, scary! That's a scary tone, Irohasu! That's definitely a threat, isn't it? Her voice was nowhere near her usual cutesy one. A chill went down my spine just now.

"Guh…"

"I wonder what your middle school classmates will think of those photos?" Isshiki raised a finger and put it next to her cheek, deep in thought and with a malicious glint in her eyes. "Maybe that girl Orimoto will spread it among all your old classmates, wouldn't that be fun?"

"The station at 9 then?"

"See you at 9."

Tick, tick, tick. The hands on the clock displayed prominently outside Chiba station continue in their unending monotony with far too much presence. Though I cannot physically hear the movement of the mechanical timekeeper, my consciousness ticks along involuntarily, filling my head with the all too predictable rhythm. Time sure passes slower when you're aware of it… the clock displayed only 8:50. In truth, I had been in this inexplicable jittery mood for some time. Feeling a sense of unrest at home from Kamakura's glaring eyes, I headed out unusually early, arriving at the station a full half hour early. I'm in the process of once again agonizing over how much more I'm going to be made to stand in front of the station when I'm suddenly attacked from behind.

"Guess who, senpai?" Wait, where did my sense of vision go? I couldn't have suddenly lost both of my eyeballs, could I? After spending an excessive amount of time eliminating arbitrarily silly possibilities, I replied to the person behind me who was now covering my eyes with her slim, long fingers.

"Cut that out, Isshiki. Your tricks don't work on me."

"Huh? Senpai, that's so lame." Isshiki responded as she lifted her hands from my face, and continued speaking after waiting for me to turn to face her. "Did you actually think I was expecting that kind of childish prank to fool or something? Aren't you confusing me with someone else you know?"

"No, that's not what I meant. Weren't you trying to do your cute act just then?"

"Huh?" Isshiki let out a surprised gasp, then turned her face sideways while keeping her eye on me. She skilfully formed another trademark expression, the Isshiki Iroha pouting face, guaranteed to make any upperclassman feel guilty. "Yeah, I guess I was. Got a problem with that?"

"Why are you mad?..."

"No reason!" Isshiki quickly jerked her arm towards my side to grab my hand, and I was once again pulled by the arm on route to another eventful day with this unreasonable girl. "Let's go, senpai!"

"Um…sorry, was I wrong?" I called out to the back of Isshiki's beige cardigan. "Were you perhaps…actually just being yourself?"

"What, so you aren't stupid." Isshiki's head turned around with a twirl, her hair following with a slight delay. "I'm going to all this trouble to stop doing my cutesy act and you immediately accuse of still doing it!"

"Well, that was pretty cutesy though…" Seriously, Irohasu, isn't covering someone's eyes from behind a little too frivolous for your calculating, manipulative personality?

"I…I just felt like it!" For some reason, Isshiki became defensive. "That wasn't planned, so it's not part of my act."

"Is that so…?"

"Senpai, just remember from now on, I won't be showing you anything fake again. I'm being myself around senpai only, understand? I want our relationship to be genuine." As she spoke, Isshiki's serious face slowly melted into a gentle, warm visage. Her eyes softened as they looked straight at my own, and the corners of her mouth lifted ever so slightly, not quite enough to qualify as the usual sinister smirk, but just the right amount of a sincere, radiant smile. "Ok, senpai?"

"…Yeah. Please." For a moment, Isshiki's smile spread to me as well. I'm lost for words, and only manage to spit out a brief response under the influence of my beating heart. As I'm led off towards our destination again, my thought drifts once again to that phrase that I myself once cried. Genuine, huh? Maybe I'm getting closer to what I'm looking for…

"Oh, but I won't stop teasing you and tricking you, you know?" Isshiki called out behind her. "That's what my personality is actually like, after all."

This girl…give me back my beating heart! I want a refund!

"What a bothersome woman…"

In any case, we eventually arrive at our destination with Isshiki leading the way.

"Super Waterpark XL." Is there supposed to be a smaller sized waterpark somewhere? What is this, an ill conceived handheld console?

"Senpai, let's go!" Isshiki excitedly ran ahead waving the tickets around. She sure is excited…weren't we supposed to just be getting rid of excess tickets…?

After getting our tickets checked and heading for the entrance, I'm forced to face one very alarming fact. I'm baffled at how I could overlook this simple truth, or perhaps I actually did remember, but was subconsciously trying not to think about it. Whatever the case, I was now about to see Isshiki Iroha in her swimming suit.

"Ok, I'll wait for you inside, ok, senpai?" Isshiki turned to leave with a twirl. Surprised, I reach out for her with my hand, and missing, just leave it hanging there like a dead branch. Isshiki is already gone by the time I return to my senses.

Hmm, what's this now? I'm about to see my cute kouhai in a swimsuit? Is that ok? Maybe I should just turn around and go home now. Yeah, that sounds about right. I'll just hop on the next train home and go read my books peacefully with Kamakura's company. But then again, how many times would Isshiki kill me next week, I wonder? Better to be prudent and value your life, Hachiman. I mean if this was Totsuka like that time at the summer camp, then I'd be excited. This, however, doesn't faze me at all. My heart is like a mighty oak that can stand firm in any storm. Yep, I'm not excited at all. In that case, since I really don't care about seeing my cute kouhai in a swimsuit, I should just stay after all. After several moments of mental anguish, I drag myself into the changing room. But I wonder, just when in the world did I start thinking of Isshiki Iroha as "cute"?

"Senpai~" Isshiki's voice catches my ear as I stand near the entrance, waiting absentmindedly in my swimwear. "Sorry to keep you waiting, senpai."

"No, it's no big deal…" Whoa, what's this, Isshiki san! The moment I turn around, Isshiki's dark blue swimsuit immediately draws my attention. Even though I thought I was mentally prepared, my eyes still found themselves being dragged towards the white skirt wrapped around Isshiki's legs. Scanning left to right, the frilled edge of the skirt gradually crept upwards, exposing Isshiki's bare thigh and just a peek of the blue bikini underneath.

"Well?" Isshiki let out a giggle to accompany her smile as she eyed me with her head slightly turned. The way she was leaning forward also exposed the faint outline of her small but most definitely present cleavage. Hey, I only saw that because it was in my field of vision while looking at your face, ok? I can't be held responsible for this. You should really stop doing things like that, Isshiki.

"What…?"

"Senpai, you're supposed to say I look good in a situation like this, you know?" Isshiki put on a pouting face, and jerked her head away, pretending to ignore me.

"Sorry, you look good in that swimsuit, Isshiki. Is that what you wanted me to say?"

"That's better! Let's go, senpai! Better not waste these tickets." Isshiki seems to have cheered up instantly from my words, her smile was now wide and beaming, and she pulled me enthusiastically towards the pool. You don't have to get that happy just because you were complimented… your self confidence isn't that low, is it Isshiki? "But next time, I'd be happier if you'd do that without me having to tell you to."

"Please don't use me as a self confidence boosting machine."

"That's not what I meant, senpai. I care about your opinion, you know." Arriving at the poolside, Isshiki turns her head around and addresses me. There's a seriousness and maturity in her words that's rarely seen from Isshiki. Now I feel a bit bad for dismissing it as another one of her schemes.

"Um… sorry. I've misunderstood your intentions again. Seems like I do that a lot nowadays. I'll work on thinking more about what you say, but that wasn't a lie, you know." What was Isshiki thinking right now? I was hard pressed to understand this girl. Recently, however, it feels like we've gotten to know each other better than before. What, then, was the cause of these misunderstandings? Maybe…it's because of the change in how we see each other, because we're closer now?

"You really do look good with that swimsuit."

"I see." Isshiki replied simply as she walked towards the edge of the pool. "As long as you understand, senpai." And with that, she jumped into the water, leaving behind only the mental image of her ever so slight grin.

"You can actually swim pretty well, surprisingly." Really, I'm surprised. The last time we played ping pong it wasn't even close, and being the soccer club manager doesn't automatically make you athletic. Isshiki gave me a glare from across the table, and addressed me with an unsatisfied look.

"That's my line. Besides, you have no right to say that when you're the one who lost."

"Tch." Well, I DID lose. If I had any remaining pride as a guy I would be crushed right now; another benefit of being a loser. Hmm, I should write that down and eventually use it in a book.

"Also, I feel insulted. Are you underestimating my abilities? But well, this parfait makes up for it just a little." Isshiki looked at me with a satisfied look on her face as she scooped yet another spoon of ice cream.

"No, it's just, didn't expect that slender body of yours to be so efficient in the water."

"H-hah!?" Isshiki's face flushed red with embarrassment. "I-I don't recall giving you permission to see me as a women, senpai! Also, where are you looking when you're making a comment like that? That's disgusting." Isshiki quickly covered her chest with her arms and shrunk away from me. There's a table separating us, you know? You don't have to be that scared. But I'm realizing after the fact now, but that was a super creepy comment to make. Seriously, there's something interfering with the connections from my mouth to my brain, I didn't think at all before speaking.

"Senpai… could it be you're making a pass at me?..." Still in her withdrawn pose, Isshiki began with the familiar line. Silence hung in the air for several seconds before I realized she wasn't going to continue.

"Um, that's it? Isn't there usually more afterwards?" Oy Irohasu, you're not broken from water damage, are you?

"It's a question this time, please respond."

"Ahh, I see. Well, it's not like I was ever making a pass at you any other time either, so no."

"I see. Please don't make it look like it then, senpai. I almost panicked there."

Aren't you just a little too sensitive…?

"Thanks for today, senpai." Isshiki turns sideways to shoot me a glance as she speaks. "It was fun." The train rattles slightly as it hits a turn, and Isshiki is suddenly pushed into my shoulder. I can smell the scent of her hair mixed with the scent of chlorine from this distance. Hmm, just a tad too close, if I were to judge.

"Is that so? I'm glad, then." I habitually lean towards my free side, in an attempt to put some distance between us. "By the way, how many points would this get, under your twisted scoring system?"

"Well, first of all I'm deducting twenty points for having to actually blackmail you to get you to come. Seriously, I already said there would be a next time, didn't I?" Isshiki began counting on her fingers, one finger, two fingers, suddenly five fingers folded?! Wait wait wait, that's a little too fast isn't it? Give some thought to my feelings watching my evaluation rapidly decline, please. Actually, how did that correspond to twenty points…?

"Well, if I were counting points for you, you'd already be at zero for blackmail."

"You didn't think I was actually going to do it, did you?" Well, I didn't, but… "Well, It doesn't matter anyways, because even if you were sure I know senpai would never take that 0.001% chance. Seriously, you're too easy."

Damn, what's this? She's already figured out the sure fire way to manipulate me this quickly? I've got to watch out for this woman, seriously.

Isshiki took out her other hand and quickly exhausted the fingers on it as well. Apparently deciding that was not enough, she started again on her other hand. Come on now…

"Then minus thirty points for thinking I was trying to fake acting cute. Forty for thinking I was fishing for compliments after I've already told you I was going to be genuine around you."

"Well, at least I'm left with ten this time… Since you said it was fun, do I get bonus points?"

"I'm not giving you handouts like that a second time, senpai. Having fun on a – er, having fun when you hang out with somebody like this is expected, so you don't get any points."

Hmm. Well, she's actually got a point there. Except, not getting a free handout really bothers someone like me who's used to being given a free pass; I'm a future house husband, you know.

"Well, I'm getting off." I turn around to say goodbye to Isshiki, who has a knowing glint in her eyes for some reason. "Well, see you."

"In the end, I only got ten points just like last time, huh?" I throw out a last sigh as I step out.

"This time it's out of ten, though." Huh? What? Turning around, I find only the closed doors and Isshiki waving from beyond the glass.

What is that girl thinking? As I walk off, hair still wet and blood pressure still high, I ponder why it is that I just can't seem to understand what Isshiki Iroha is thinking.

Author's note:

Chapter 1 is now complete! I've come to the realization very early that there was nothing I could write that could make the last story I posted about this pairing seem in character, so I'm just going to leave that there as some nice fantasy that's never going to happen and start a new story where they'll hopefully be developed in a better way by the end. Chapter 1 is nice and slice of life-ish. No drama or suffering here (for now). Enjoy it while it lasts.

After finishing writing the entirety of chapter 1, I have to say... I've deteriorated in terms of keeping 8man and Iroha in character... ;_; Also, maybe I've used too many things from the LNs as a crutch to build off of (photos, making a pass at me, point system, etc.). I'd like to eventually have recurring elements of my own creation.