A/N:Sorry for the hiatus guys! Sometimes I write faster than I can post so I just realized I have a chapter and a half I never posted. I'm almost done with this story I just need to figure out how to end it. If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them! I don't own blue bloods.
Eddie walked into the precinct Monday night feeling exhausted, but she was ready to prove to everyone that she was ready to move on. Strong enough to move on.
She had spend the night into the morning hours with Danny and Frank at the hospital. This morning she went to Hailey's to sleep for a few hours, she was able to do that again, and then she spent the afternoon at the hospital again.
It felt weird to be walking into the twelfth precinct knowing she wouldn't be riding with Jamie today, or ever again. She was heading to the locker room wondering who her new partner would be when sarge interrupted her train of thought.
"Janko in my office" he commanded
She knew she couldn't be in trouble, not yet, and she was even early for tour. He most likely wanted to check on he and get an update on Jamie
"You can probably guess what I'm going to say" he started
"Jamie's doing as well as can be expected, maybe a little better. There was a scare last night but it's cleared up and they're hoping to move him out of ICU" Eddie replied hoping they could leave the conversation at that.
"I'm glad to hear that. Now let's talk about you the officer who I'm about to send into the streets of New York City with a loaded gun and a new partner. Are you going to be able to handle your emotions should you get into a dangerous situation?" Sarge asked directly.
"I need to move on" Eddie answered
"I know you need to move on but are you physically and emotionally ready to move on?"
"Yes"
"Have you seen the shrink yet like I told you to?"
"No I was going to go today but after last night I was too tired so I'll try for tomorrow"
"Janko this isn't some light suggestion that I think might help. This is an order from your Sargent. You need to go to the shrink ASAP. How late were you up last night?"
"Okay sorry sorry I'll go for sure tomorrow. I was at the hospital all night but don't worry I went home and slept this morning"Eddie assured him praying he wouldn't put her on modified assignment
"Janko! How do you expect me to send you out like that?"
"I'm fine! I'm well rested I swear" Eddie lied convincingly
"If I wasn't short on officers you'd be on modified assignment, but I am so welcome back." Renzulli replied skeptically
"Thank you! I'll go change."
"Janko I mean it though you better go see that shrink tomorrow no ifs ands or buts department policy."
"Okay okay! By the way who am I riding with today?" Eddie asked
"I'm gonna have to shift things around at roll call. Jamie had a new partner but I can't pair you with her because we always have a girl and guy partner in case you get into a bad situation. I know you think you're tough but men are physically stronger and faster. There's a new kid who's been riding with sawyer. I'll give you that kid and sawyer can have Jamie's trainee. I'll explain to everyone at roll call"
"Thanks sarge!" Eddie said happily as she bounced out of his office.
She was excited to be back to work. Eddie truly loved her job and missed being on the streets. It was weird to think Jamie wouldn't be by her side for the first time in two years. She hoped this new partner would be cool. The best thing about Jamie was how easy he was to talk to. He could make long eight hour tours fly by.
Eddie walked into the locker room thinking about Jamie. She stopped in her tracks as she saw another girl standing next to her locker. The women's locker room wasn't filled, there were more lockers than cops, so typically Eddie hardly even saw the other girls when she was changing. Eddie suddenly recognized this new girl. Jordan. Jamie's new partner.
Eddie knew now that Jamie didn't have feelings for anyone else but she still didn't like the idea of him training another girl cop. She wasn't exactly jealous per say but it would feel like she was literally being replaced.
Eddie walked over to her locker and started changing into uniform.
"I'm sorry am i in your way?" Jordan asked
"No I'm fine" Eddie said
"Have we met you look familiar but I can't quite remember?" Jordan asked
"Eddie Janko. We met at 54 when you came with Renzuli to Check on Jamie's case" Eddie replied
"Oh right! You're his old partner right? Damn you must be good he went on and on about you!" Jordan gushed.
Eddie couldn't help but blush. "Um yeah I guess that's me"
"I'm Jordan. I've only been here for a few weeks. I didn't know that was your locker I can move down a couple so we aren't right next to each other." Jordan offered
"I mean whatever you want its ya know it's fine" Eddie said trying to play it cool but suggesting with her tone that she wanted Jordan to slide down a few.
"I'll move down! There's no point in us being so cramped! So how's Jamie doing? I'm assuming you were at the hospital?" She chattered
"Yeah I was there. He's doing a little better, they want to move him out of ICU soon" Eddie informed her.
"I'm glad he's okay! He was so nice, such a welcoming training officer!" Jordan cooed
"Yeah me too. Me too" Eddie agreed
The girls went to role call and Eddie looked around the room for the new guy she would be paired with. To her surprise there were several new officers. She had been gone a few months but it didn't seem like it had been that long. Renzulli started roll call with something about a line of bakery burglaries. It sounded dumb to Eddie but she wasn't really focused on that, she was thinking about Jamie.
"Welcome back to officer Janko" sarge interrupted her thoughts
"Now that she's back we have to rearrange partners a little"
Eddie's phone vibrated in her pocket. She knew she should pay attention but she had to make sure Jamie was okay. She slid it out of her pocket. It was from Danny.
"Hey Eddie they're moving him out of ICU. Text me before you come back so I can tell you where to go. Have a good tour"
Eddie couldn't help but smile. She was thinking about Jamie and didn't snap out of her trance until she heard
"And Eddie Janko in twelve david"
Eddie panicked. She completely missed who her new partner was. It would be good to be back in 12 David but it wouldn't be the same. She was hoping her new partner would take initiative and introduce himself to her. Then roll call was over. This was the moment of truth who was her new partner?
She began walking out of the roll call room and Renzulli stopped her.
"Janko you sure you're ready for this?"
"Yeah sarge I'm good" Eddie assured him
"Alright I put you in a quieter sector tonight. Be safe. I think Burgess is going to make a good cop, train him well" sarge reminded her
Burgess Eddie thought. Okay so his last name is burgess that's more than I knew about him before. I'll just meet him at the car.
She stepped outside into the cool fall air and headed toward the car. The sun was beginning to set and the air was crisp, a nice night for a tour.
"Officer Janko?" A voice behind her asked.
Eddie whirled around to see a guy dressed in uniform. He was tall and fit. His hair was more of a caramel color cut shorter than Jamie's. He was good looking, Eddie of course wasn't attracted to him, but he was good looking. He smiled a big white smile and held out his hand.
"Hi I'm Andrew Burgess, you can call me Drew" he introduced amicably
"I'm Eddie nice to meet you" she said politely
"With the name Eddie I was expecting-"
"An old man? I get that a lot" Eddie replied
"Hey this is a pleasant surprise" he laughed
"You wanna drive or me?" He continued not skipping a beat
"I can drive, I mean if you don't mind a girl driving" Eddie said playfully hoping she was t stuck with some misogynistic partner.
"No problem. You're the training officer here" he laughed again
"And don't you forget it" Eddie joked as she got into the drivers seat
"So how long have you been on the force?" Eddie asked
"About 3 weeks. What about you?"
"Two and a half years. I've been out the last month or two doing some undercover work"
"Wow that's crazy that must've been a really cool experience!" Drew gushed
"Eh I'm glad to be back. It's a lot harder than it seems and it puts a lot of people in very dangerous situations" Eddie said trying not to get upset
"Oh yeah I guess that's true" he replied sensing some sensitivity towards the subject
"You'll get to do some undercover work soon enough. I did my first one with my partner after only a couple months on the job. We had to dress up like we were looking to buy an engagement ring at a little jewelry store. We were hoping to catch a robbery but then this guy got really distressed because he couldn't return the ring after his engagement got called off and he tried to pull a gun on the jeweler."
"That's crazy! What'd you do go all NYPD on him? Was he shocked"
"We didn't want to blow our cover so he tried to take us all as hostages and Jamie made him let the others go. Jamie is, uh was, my partner. He went to Harvard law so he pretended to be a lawyer and talk the guy down before it became a felony but he ended up having to arrest the guy. I was so mad at him that day for making me leave because I thought he didn't trust me, but now I understand he did what he had to do" Eddie explained thinking back to that day
At this point they were in their sector so Eddie parked the car.
"Well here we are. Welcome to the wonderful world of the NYPD."Eddie said sarcastically
"Most tours are uneventful?" He asked
"Yep especially at this time of night on this side of town"
The radio stayed quiet most all night so they talked through most of the tour about everything hometowns, college, sports, food, music. By the end of the tour Eddie was excited to have him by her side as her new partner. When they got back to the precinct it was around 2 in the morning.
"See you tomorrow?" He asked
"Yeah hopefully"
"I'll look forward to it" he said flashing his million dollar smile again
Eddie quickly changed back into street clothes and headed out of the precinct. She got in her car and began to drive to the hospital. Then she remembered it was the middle of the night and there would be nothing to do there. So she headed towards Hailey's because she still didn't want to go home. She then realized it was too late to call Hailey to let her in and she didn't have a key. So she drove to the only other place she could go. Jamie's.
She slid the key into the lock and let herself in instantly inhaling Jamie's scent letting it envelope her. Eddie's momentary comfort was shattered when she saw a light coming from the bedroom and heard the TV. She pulled out her off duty weapon and slid to the end of the hallway.
"Don't come any farther or I'll shoot! Identify yourself" a female voice yelled from around the corner
"Nikki? Eddie Janko." Eddie gasped recognizing the voice
"Eddie! You scared the hell out of me what are you doing here?" Nikki asked
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?" Eddie asked
"You first" Nikki insisted
"I just got off tour and didn't know where else to go it was too late for the hospital or my friends house where I've been staying. Your turn" Eddie replied sharply not liking being told what to do by an 18 year old
"My moms at the hospital. I'm home from college. I couldn't sleep and Uncle Jamie gave me a key and said to stop by whenever I needed to. Tonight I needed to." Nikki replied
"Why are you still up? It's after 2. And why do you have a gun?" Eddie asked
"Like I said I couldn't sleep. I thought you were someone breaking in and I know where he keeps his off duty weapon" Nikki replied
"Jamie Reagan showed you where he keeps his gun?" Eddie asked skeptically knowing Jamie was too cautious for that
"Not exactly. I've been over here a lot and I just kinda know where he keeps it." Nikki confessed
"Okay then" Eddie said awkwardly
"So why are you here again? Why not your place?" Nikki asked
"I can't bring myself to go back to my place ever since this all went down. I've been staying with my friend Hailey but it's too late to go there and I don't know where the new room is at the hospital." Eddie explained
"So here we are"
"Yep"
The girls awkwardly stood there in an apartment that belonged to neither of them. They had only met once or twice so they didn't really know where to go from this awkward late night encounter.
"So...where do we go from here? I can take the couch you can keep the bed and we can pretend the other isn't here, we can talk about this whole situation or..." Eddie trailed off not really knowing what their other options are.
"I was watching Netflix in his room you're welcome to join if you want. He's got a king bed." Nikki offered not wanting to make this more awkward but struggling not to
"Okay sure" Eddie replied
Eddie fell asleep to the sound of Pretty Little Liars, she'd never seen the show and it was too hard to follow as a first timer.
Eddie woke up around 11 the next morning. She couldn't believe how late she'd slept. She looked to the other side of the bed to see Nikki's still body fast asleep. Eddie went to the kitchen and began to make a bowl of cereal and some coffee, After a couple of minutes Nikki came out of the bedroom.
"Morning. Want some coffee?" Eddie offered
"Yeah thanks. What time is it?" Nikki asked
"Eleven" Eddie replied handing Nikki a mug of coffee
"Crap my mom's going to wonder where I was"
"You go to Columbia right?" Eddie asked
"Yeah why?"
"Sorry I'm not being creepy Jamie's bragged about you. Just tell her you forgot one of your books so you went back to school to get it and ended up spending the night because it was too late to ride the subway back alone" Eddie offered
"Good call" Nikki said with surprise
"I did my share of sneaking out" Eddie confessed
"You unlike uncle Jamie" Nikki laughed
"He's pretty by the book I guess. I'll work on that" Eddie laughed
"So we aren't going to tell anyone about this little rendezvous are we?" Nikki asked
"I won't if you won't" Eddie replied
"It's a deal then."
"Are you going to the hospital today?" Eddie asked
"Yeah I still haven't gotten to see him so hopefully today they'll let me"
"Yeah okay do you want to ride with me?" Eddie offered
"That'd be great. I'm going to go jump in the shower real quick" Nikki replied
"Okay sounds good"
Once the younger girl had left Eddie pulled out her phone and the card Renzulli gave her
"New York Psych Clinic how can I help you" a receptionist answered
"Hi my name's Eddie Janko, I'm an officer for the NYPD and I was referred here by my Sargent to make an appointment with Dr Wagner" Eddie replied
"Of course! Dr Wagner does a lot of work with the officers. Do you need to come in today?"
"If that's possible then yes. I have to work tonight at six" Eddie replied
"Okay today is a little tight but I can try to squeeze you in around four since this is important" the lady replied helpfully
"Okay thank you" Eddie replied before hanging up.
She groaned, The one thing she didn't want to do was re-live the situation. Nikki came out of Jamie's room and the girls packed their stuff, cleaned up their mess and set off for the hospital.
Once they got there Erin met them in the parking lot and led them up to Jamie's room.
"Nikki I went home this morning to change clothes and you weren't there, where'd you go?" Erin asked as she led the girls up the stairs.
"Sorry I went back to school last night to grab a book I forgot and it got too late to ride the subway back" Nikki replied exchanging a look with Eddie
"Okay sweetie just tell me next time I was getting worried" Erin replied as the reached Jamie's room
Eddie let Nikki go in first to have some time alone with her uncle since she hadn't gotten to see him yet.
As she waited in the hallway she thought about the last 24 hours. Her first tour without Jamie had gone surprisingly well. Although she hated to admit it riding with a new partner was actually kind of fun. Drew was cool, and funny, and nice, and attractive; but none of that mattered because she had Jamie. She did. She had Jamie Reagan the best cop and boyfriend in the world and she didn't want anyone else. Last night with Nikki had been kind of weird, actually really weird. Eddie didn't even know what to think about that. And then there was that psych evaluation today she had to worry about. With all these thoughts swirling around in her head the time flew by. A whole hour had passed before Nikki and Erin came out of Jamie's room and to Eddie it felt like five minutes.
When it was her turn Eddie got up and walked into the room. She was happy to see Jamie had perked up a little in the day since she'd see him. His eyes looked less empty and the swelling and bruising were going down.
"There's my favorite officer" Jamie exclaimed when she walked in
"I'm glad to see my favorite patient is feeling better"
"Better? Yes, much. Good? Not quite. But enough about me I heard you had your first tour without me last night. How'd that go? You don't miss me too much do you?"
"Miss you? Nooo officer Reagan who?" Eddie joked
"Wow that hurts! A week off the job and my own girlfriend forgets I existed"
"You know that could never happen"
"I hope not. So really how was is? Is your new partner a shmuck?" Jamie asked hopefully
"Unfortunately he's not a shmuck" Eddie said sarcastically. "He's new on the force his name's Drew. Just out of academy, eager to work, good kid your basic academy graduate"
"So you're a training officer now? Hey congrats Janko!"Jamie congratulated
"Thanks Reagan I owe it all to my training officer" she said with a smile
"Think he's got your back?" Jamie asked shifting to a concerned tone
"As far as I can tell I mean he's new on the job eager for action but last night we only had one domestic call. Really quiet in our sector" Eddie replied
"The one thing i don't like about the idea of a new partner is not being able to have each other's backs"
"One thing? I thought the one thing you don't like is the thought of a partner who doesn't pick restaurants as good as I do. And don't pretend you won't miss my bubbly personality, unmatched charm and dashing beauty." Eddie quipped
"Maybe you're right I'll miss two things. Being able to protect you and your incredible modesty" Jamie retorted
"Whatever Reagan, either way you'll miss me"
"I hope I won't miss you. The whole reason we cant ride together is so we can date. I hope I'll get to see you more"
"I guess I might be able to squeeze you in between my tours and my ever active social life" Eddie said sarcastically
"You better"
"Speaking of my full schedule is it really three thirty already?" She asked glancing at the clock in the room
"I guess so that's what the clock says janko"
"Crap I've got to go. I have an appointment with the department shrink at four across town and then tour at six" Eddie explained
"The shrink?"
"Yeah the shrink and it's all your fault"
"My fault? No it's your fault for caring so deeply about me" Jamie retorted
"Whatever Reagan you're so full of it"
"See you tomorrow?" Jamie asked
"I hope so but it might be later if sarge moves me to a day tour. I'm not waking you up if I get off late" Eddie warned him
"Fine. Be careful"
"Always am see ya later" she said as she left
Eddie arrived at the psych center with a couple minutes to spare. She was worried about this examination because she didn't want to be forced to take any more time off work. When she was called back she was led into a small office that looked like a tiny living room. The doctor was a woman in her thirties with brown hair that framed her face. First Eddie was forced to explain every detail of what happened. She had rehearsed this part over a hundred times in her head so when it came time to explain the story she did it stoically just as planned.
"So how have you been coping with this?" The doc asked
"Coping? I'm just taking everything day by day" Eddie replied coolly
"Eddie this has been a traumatic experience are you sleeping okay? Eating okay?"
"I'm fine really" Eddie insisted
"That's what I'm afraid of. You're too 'fine'"
"The department gives me access to all your files, I can see where you've had several high intensity cases, an undercover opp, you've killed a man, and you've been kidnapped and you've never stepped into my office until now. Why?"
"I have a support system" Eddie said trying to say what the doctor wanted to hear so she could move one
"Who?"
"My partner and my friends"
"Ah so you're here now because you can't turn to your partner this time"
"I'm here because Sargent renzulli threatened to put me on modified assignment" Eddie replied quickly
"Eddie I sense that you like to deal with your feelings on your own but you don't have to do that"
"That's how I am. I'm independent and I deal with my own crap. I don't want help from anyone"
"Eddie I'm just saying you don't have to live like that"
"But that's how I like it"
"One day you won't be able to live like that anymore"
"That day isn't today"
"If you say so"
"So am I cleared or not?"Eddie asked
"You can work if you agree to come back in two weeks for a follow up evaluation. I think I can better asses you once you've had some separation from the events"
"Fine whatever gets me back on the job"
"Have a good tour"
When Eddie got back to her car she was so angry. She absolutely hated every part of that its like they were looking for her to cry...which is of course the whole point of a shrink but whatever she wasn't going to do that today. There's only one person who could get her to cry and he was tied up at the moment. Her feelings could wait