Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Soooo yeah, you guys aren't taking no for an answer so here you go, part two. Keep in mind folks that this was never planned out so this has a bit less humor and more world building going on, oh and obviously since you know...gender bender thing there's going to be femslash so there's that too. Anyway, enjoy and review!

"Heyya, I gotta admit when I woke up this morning I did not expect find an old man in my head. Well unless Dumbles decided to poke around again but he stopped that right quick when he saw my defenses. Don't really blame him though Lovecraftien abominations are a bit on the squickier side of things, so who are you?"

Harry's eyes shot open and he found himself staring up into the emerald eyes of a petite woman. she was still young but she had all the signs of promised future beauty, her most distinguishing feature though was a smirk he'd often seen in photos of his dad. It promised that mischief was to be afoot regardless of the situation and that she'd enjoy every second of it. Sitting up the girl pulled back as she crossed her arms across her chest, as they eyed each other she raised a single brow awaiting a response.

Getting to his feet he bowed, "Hello young lady, My Name is the Lord Hadrian James Potter-Black-Peverall-Slytherin, The-Boy-Who-Lived, The-Wizard-Who-Conquered, Defeater of Voldemort, and Headmaster to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But my friends just call me Harry, I only make the Pure-Bloods use all my titles to take the piss outta them, and who might you be?"

The girl looked perplexed as she curtsied in return, "Err, I'm the Heiress Iris Lily Potter-Black, The Marauder Quill, and ummm...fourth year student at Hogwarts..." Harry grinned at that before laughing.

"Ah hell, you're the body I crash landed into when Hermione, Draco, and I tried to time travel aren't you? Well, it's a long story, wanna hear about my life?" She nodded so he conjured a couple leather chairs, sat down and told her his life story, "And that's about it, I guess boredom and alcohol counteract the wisdom of old age."

The girl shook her head in wonderment as she sipped the hot chocolate their shared mindscape supplied, "Neville's The-Boy-Who-Lived in our world. Nice bloke, very quiet. His Gran kept him away from the spotlight before Hogwarts so he's not nearly as stuck up as folks like Dracona."

Harry couldn't help but laugh again hearing his best mates feminized name, "Yeah trust me a couple wars, a traumatic incident or two and a few drunken tussles and Drac will shape right up. But that begs the question what do we do about us?"

She shrugged helplessly a moment before tapping her chin with a forefinger, "Well, obviously you can't go back right?"

He shrugged in return, "No idea this was all 'Mione's scheme, speaking of which what do you know about this dimensions Miss Granger?"

Iris just tilted her head to the side and gave him a sheepish look, "Err, not all that much really. She's very quiet, doesn't have many friends outside of Luna Lovegood from what Ginny's told me, she's a bit bossy and hates bullies. Oh! I do know she goes out of her way to tell first year Muggle-Born students the ins and outs of our world, always thought that was nice of her, outside of that well..."

Harry nodded while stroking his beard, "Makes sense, Ron and I both treated her pretty badly until the troll incident, without that being a catalyst she probably had a harder time of it...Oh right, what's Ron like here?"

Her face scrunched up in disgust but it looked almost adorable on her young face, "He's a git! Lazy, confrontational, constantly tries to copy other peoples homework. He's... sorta friends with Neville but I think that's just because Nev's too nice to send him away. Ginny and the twins told me he's nearly been expelled for bad grades twice so far."

Harry smirked at that, served the tosser right, and he wasn't shocked at all that the murderous bastard would latch onto the Boy-Who-Lived regardless of who it was.

"I'm sorry we went on a tangent, what to do with our situation?" Iris blew a long breath through her teeth making a whistling noise as she did so before rubbing her temples.

Dropping her hands to her sides she hopped up and began pacing, "I don't know, I mean I like you well enough and I don't want to have you exorcised or anything. I mean you came here to live life again on your own terms, so we could try merging or something along those lines."

She paused then made a gagging noise when she saw the appalled look cross his face, "NOT LIKE THAT PERVERT! Ugh...you are so much like Dad...I mean I don't know, we could hold hands or something, see if we can combine our memories?"

Harry shrugged, he'd never been one to think things through too extensively (politics not withstanding) much to Hermione's annoyance so he went with his default Gryffindor brashness and took her hand.

"Well, I guess we can give it a shot?" Even before he was finished speaking there was a flash of light and as it faded there was no longer an old man in expensive robes and a young girl in a school uniform.

Blinking rapidly the redheaded young woman looked about frantically before calming down, "Huh, that was...painless." she stated thoughtfully.

"Hmm...makes sense I suppose we were awfully alike, and oh hell she had a crush on Dracona that's why they were always fighting?! BWHAHAHA!" The woman couldn't stop laughing for some time, eventually she calmed down enough to get back to the task at hand, "All right...well, I guess I'm gonna go with being called Iris, this outta be fun," with that she faded away.

As Iris came to in the hospital wing she sat up in the bed and glanced up to make sure the plaque declaring it her's was affixed to the wall, yup Fred and George's work was still in play.

Her two companions were on either side of the bed quietly talking to each other, "So I was thinking..." Iris began grabbing while grabbing their attention, "That we should probably hit 4 Privet Drive and kill the Dursleys. You know, for Harry's sake."

Exchanging looks Draco and Hermione turned back to their friend in confusion, "Harry?"

The girl before them shook her hand back and forth in return, "Kinda sorta, we merged our personalities which is really brilliant by the way, easy too I'm not really sure why though. Probably outside of the fact that Harry's childhood was absolute shite being treated like a house elf by Petunia and Vernon they were near identical outside of the age difference."

She tapped her chin slowly as her eyes wandered the ceiling, "That does give some credence to nature over nurture but on that note Harry had a piece of Voldemort's soul glued to his forehead for sixteen years and it didn't alter who he was...hmm..."

Draco rubbed the bridge of her nose before groaning out, "Merlin's ballsack she's a babbler like you now."

Hermione snorted while smacking her shoulder lightly, "Prat, well merging sounds like a lovely idea honestly. I have no idea how to get us back home and well...I like the fact that everyone we know isn't dead, bit of a bonus there."

Draco nodded at this and hopped up onto Iris's bed, "All right, me first, Stupify!" Pointing her index finger at her chest she hit herself with the wandless stunner and fell back sprawled at Iris's feet.

Blinking rapidly Hermione turned to Iris while huffing out, "Boys..."

Iris snorted at that while rolling her eyes, "If Draco pulls it off you won't be able to use that one on us anymore."

Hermione pouted cutely at that as she let out a hurrumph noise, "True, so umm... out of curiosity are we still married?"

Iris shrugged at that as she reached up and started playing with a lock of sable/crimson hair, "I think mentally and maybe even magically yes, but legally? I sincerely doubt it, keep in mind I'm not Harry James Potter anymore and there was never one born here, and the both being girls thing might cause some issues."

Hermione looked a bit crestfallen at that but was stopped when Iris grabbed her by the tie and pulled her into a passionate kiss, after breaking it she threw the brunette a cheeky grin. "Just because we aren't married anymore doesn't mean I don't plan on shagging you senseless, I've got...ideas."

Blushing brightly Hermione sat on the bed primly next to her husb...girlfriend? That'd do, she sat next to her girlfriend and proudly stated, "Excellent, then I get to show you the wonders of the female orgasm."

Iris let her eyebrows shoot up at that, "There's a difference?"

Hermione turned and kissed her again then all but purred out, "Oh you have noooo idea dear."

Before anything else could be said a calm sophisticated voice drawled out, "Sounds like fun, mind if I join in?"

Turning they saw Draco sit up blinking rapidly, "Draco? Everything all right?"

She waved her hand off at that, "Oh fine fine it just ends up Dracona was a bit chatty, apparently unlike Draco's family Dracona's never joined Voldemort's little band of murderers. It would seem Grandfather Abraxos found out about something that turned him away from the Dark Lord, my money is on the Horcruxes, anyway..."

She shrugged at the pair giving them a wide grin, "I'm honestly able to say I'm proud of being a Malfoy here...hmmm" Hermione and Iris tilted their heads waiting patiently but it was obvious their friend was lost in thought.

"Earth to Draco, snap out of it!" Iris stated taking on the other girls usual drawl, blinking again she turned her silver blue gaze back to them and blushed before replying.

"Sorry, this whole becoming a third personality thing is a bit weird, conflicting emotions, oh and bits of awkwardness like the fact that Dracona had a massive crush on Iris."

Hermione's brows rose at that while Iris broke out into laughter, "Oh wow, yeah same with Iris! their entire rivalry was unreleased sexual tension, too funny!" Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose while sighing, looking up she gave them both a wide grin that unsettled them a bit.

"Does that mean when you were Harry and Draco you..."

She trailed off and the two former men looked at each other then shrugged and looked back while stating in unison,"Nah."

Shaking her head slowly Hermione stood and began pacing, "Well be that as it may we've much to figure out, I still have to merge with this worlds me and then we need to figure out what went wrong, since there's some other...irregularities..."

She shot the pair sitting on the bed a concerned look with that then resumed pacing. Silver met emerald as they turned back to her stating, "Like what?"

Hermione sighed dropping her hands to her sides before gesturing to them, "Like that! Sure Harry and Draco were best mates for ninety some odd years while Iris and Dracona wanted to shag each other but that doesn't mean you should have this kind of perfect unity in your banter! Down in the Great Hall you were both using the exact same body language and were practically talking in unison! I think something went wrong with the ceremony, or oh I don't know, we got blended a bit or something, I don't know!"

Once again neither Iris or Dracona seemed to care all that much as they shrugged at the same time,

"Honestly 'Mione," Dracona began, "I'm more concerned about what's going to happen if anyone finds out about this, I mean sure the versions of us from this world seem more than ok with this whole merging thing but I sincerely doubt others will be so accommodating."

Iris nodded at that solemnly, "Trust me if my parents found out about this they'd either be so worried about me that I'd be committed to Saint Mungo's or so furious that either version of myself thought it was a good idea that I'd never see daylight again."

Hermione froze at that and smiled widely, "The Potters are alive?!"

Iris grinned in return, "Yeah, Mom, Dad, Padfoot, Moony, they're all alive here...and I have a little brother and sister but they're only six and eight... Mione I think you should perform your merging now, we...well, both our lives," she nodded towards Dracona, "Are a thousand times better here. I'd love to know if it's the same for you."

Nodding she took Dracona's spot on the bed and performed her own stunner, the silver haired girl turned back to Iris who calmly asked, "So we've been at this for like, fifteen minutes, where's Madam Pomfrey?"

The silver haired girl laughed at that while rolling her eyes, "Outside with everyone else I'd assume, It's fourth year, Triwizard Tournament and all that, apparently the foreign schools are showing up so we're actually free from observation for the time being."

Iris cocked an eyebrow at that, "Oh really?" Nodding absently Dracona began playing with a lock of her hair as Iris stood up and pulled her into a scorching kiss, groaning loudly she melted into the other girl and felt her face flush brightly. Not able to resist their teenage hormones both girls began exploring the others bodies until they heard someone clear their throat, eyes widening in panic they broke the embrace and turned blushing brighter then a Weasley's hair.

Hermione was sitting on the bed smirking coyly at the pair, "Well...I think that may have been one of the hottest things I've ever seen, wait. Thinking about it... Yes, it was indeed quite hot," Iris stammered a bit while Dracona rolled her eyes, Hermione though looked contemplative. "Does...that make you gay since half your consciousness is male or lesbian because half is female...or incredibly straight due to the former...wow...ok hurting my own head here..."

Dracona, who was still blushing furiously thought about it a moment than exchanged glances with Iris who just shrugged again, the young Malfoy Heiress tapped her chin a moment before making a rather unladylike snort of disdain.

"Who cares, we weren't interested in each other as blokes but we've been around each other for damn near a century, our new...erm...forms were already attracted to each other so lets just write this off as one of those...what was that show again Iris?"

The redhead snapped her head up and quickly said, "Twilight Zone dear...oh...this is getting odd...can we just sleep this off there's been so many changes today I just..."

Hermione and Dracona both nodded at that, the trio began leaving the infirmary and as they reached the door Iris paused, "Think Madam Pomfrey is going to be angry we left?" Dracona snorted at that while sliding an arm around her waist as Hermione did the same,

"Who cares, we're Marauder's, she'll have to get used to it," laughing the three friends walked off chattering to each other, thirty seconds later two men dispelled the disillusionment spells they'd been under for the past half hour. Severus turned to Sirius with a blank look in his eyes, the dog animagus was blinking rapidly, a hundred different emotions fighting for there position on his face.

After a moment the Potions Professor let out a slow sigh and asked, "Fire Whiskey?"

The Defense Professor nodded slowly and followed his friend out of the room, "Yeah...yeah that's a really good idea..."

Ah teenage hormones coupled with the indifferent "Roll with it" attitude of the elderly, this is...going to be fun.