A/N: This fic is dedicated to my anthropology professor who inspired the title of this fic after going on a twenty minute rant of how he hates people giving him last minute Christmas gifts because then he has to go shopping and get them a gift as well as to not seem like a douche since there is no such thing as a free gift.

So this one's for you, Todd.

"Hey, you guys! King Arthur does not like to be tossed around like a volleyball!" Sarah shouted at the Fireys.

It had been less than an hour after she left the Labyrinth. Creatures that she had met on her run—both who tried to help and trick her—were there, celebrating her victory.

It was fun for all of two minutes.

The goblins, who she had just been clobbering only hours ago, were drunk out of their minds. A few of them had decided to play Scrabble with Sir Didymus, but they would always try to spell the word chicken, even if they didn't have the right letters. And then the fox would get upset and tip over the board over saying, "whoops." The wiseman had fallen asleep in a corner, was missing half his beard, and wearing hastily applied lipstick and eyeshadow. His hat was crying while sitting upon the junk lady's head as she gently pet him. And now, the Fire Gang had liberated her stuffed lion from one of the cubbies and proceeded to fling it around the room for entertainment.

Things had gotten a little out of hand.

"Sorry, Lady," a Firey mocked, watching her seize her toy from the air.

"Yeah, we beg 'is majesty's pardon—didn't know he was royalty," guffawed another, hanging from her canopy. His jest caused an eruption of laughter from the rest.

"Stick to throwing your own limbs will you," Sarah growled at them.

"You're one to talk," one grinned as its head sailed over her own.

"Just don't touch my stuff," she threatened, walking away to see if Hoggle needed help. He was currently trying to get back his jewels that had been snatched away by a fairy. Said fairy was sitting on one of Sarah's shelves, dangling a bag of jewels for Hoggle to try and grab before she snatched them back out of reach.

"Give 'em back!" Hoggle shouted.

The fairy giggled and shook the bag of jewels at the dwarf, making them jangle to goad him further.

Sarah promptly plucked the pouch from the irksome fairy's grasp, and handed it back to Hoggle with a grin before moving on to find Ludo. Last time she saw him, he had been surrounded by a bunch of hyperactive brownies and looked as if he was ready to summon up his rock friends to squash the little imps.

Her eyes swept over the chaos that was her room, searching for her giant friend, but instead she found the eyes of a white barn own perched outside her window.

She was so shocked by the appearance of the Goblin King that she forgot to breathe. The laughter and voices of the fairytale creatures that surrounded her faded to a low hum at the back of her mind. The owl and the girl stared at each other, unblinking, lost in a space all their own.

And then a goblin flew past her vision.

"Goblin toss!"

"Yeah!"

Sarah ducked as another goblin came flying towards her and looked up in time to see it land on her bed, crashing into Sir Didymus and his Scrabble opponents.

"Oh, my. What a shame," the fox deadpanned, as the goblins started wrestling one another, sending little wooden letters everywhere.

Thank goodness her dad and Karen were deep sleepers.

Remembering the watcher outside her window, Sarah turned back to find the tree outside her room was now vacant of peeping eyes. Instead another nocturnal thing had replaced the watcher, peering through the branches of the tree like a shy lover as it radiated its crisp glow down from the sky and onto the earth.

Disclaimer: I own nothing; however, I did used to have a stuffed lion. His name was Mr. Kitty. Please, no jokes. I was five.