"Mommy, mommy are you awake?" I hear Rachel call in tears.
"Yes I'm up." I reply though at this hour I wish I wasn't.
"I am so sad, I dreamed that a monster come and it took you and daddy and we were all by ourselves without anyone to hug us when we cried for you and you did not come back!" One look at her face told me she had been crying for a while.
"Rachel,that's not going to happen,I promise." I comforted her as best I could.
"You promise the monster will never get you and daddy?' She sobbed, my heart broke. My poor little girl.
"I promise Rachel." She climbs in bed beside me, tears still falling from her eyes.
"can I sleep here mommy?" She pleads, I'm powerless to refuse her when she's crying.
"Alright, just this time, it'll be time to get up soon anyway." She snuggles into me and I smile. I don't regret having my children, but sometimes I regret how early they wake. I may be a demon, but I still enjoy sleeping. When it comes to my children, sleep doesn't matter. I put their needs before my wants. This is the consequence of being a mother, but in truth, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
It can be difficult at times but if I had to do it over, I wouldn't mind. I've been the queen's guard dog, an Earl,none of it meant anything to me really. Being here now, being a mother to my children is my favorite job. Even above being Sebastian's mate though I love him with all my heart.
I hear people say that a mother's work is never done,it's not. From the time I wake up to when I make it to bed, most nights I lay awake though.
So many things go through my mind, Sebastian has to lie beside me, holding me in his arms and assuring me that everything is fine or I don't sleep. When I do drift off, it's not for long. I'm up checking on the children, feeding Angelina and Kathryn or talking to Sebastian about our family.
When you're a mother, it's not easy to stop worrying or thinking about what still needs done at the end of the day. But I love my family and this is the life I chose. I wouldn't chose any different.
Yes it can be stressful, but when I hold my children,hear them calling and have their arms around me, I know it's worth it