i/r. soc. introspective.

happy midsummer and supersymmetry

day 18 - night

Movie night: all classics and 1940s; gourmet popcorns and quilts and dim nightlights.

Rukia is actually surprised Ichigo chooses to leave his wife and children [SUSY and extrasolar planets] for hours and joins her tonight in watching Mr. Bailey and his wonderful life.

(wonderful; as in as wonderful as Ichigo coming out of his room in white shirt with rolled-up sleeves and dark green pants; as wonderful as his appearance lighter and easier than in any other day; as wonderful as apple slices and orange juice and pineapple bits –fresh)

She makes room for him –he has a tiny loveseat that is probably older than him- scoots closer to the side, but he shakes his head. "I'll take the floor," he answers quietly and slumps on the floor leaning on her couch.

"Oh?" Rukia asks. She herself is draped in quilt and underneath is a thin, oversized white polo shirt.

(that's alright, Rukia thinks mildly, he's a boy and boys are supposed to be chivalrous)

There are several unopened Stella Artois on the small table at the corner (hers, he doesn't ask). And beside them are popcorns and variety of snacks. He takes a tub and casually eats.

Sometimes she forgets: they are married.

(the movie starts to plays: an old reel of people toothily smiling, Rukia hugs her tub closer)

There is Ichigo. And what to make of him?

The first of it, though, is that she is not in love with him. (not like the way lovers do, no no no no no, not amorous, not passionate, there is a form of betrayal in it, and she would like to spare her heart) But she loves him like the sunrays in a bedroom, like firebugs in the trees at night, like lazy waves the ocean make in the afternoon –quiet and patient and natural and safe.

The clearest of it is that he is reliable: a steady, guiding hand when she walks down the stairs; insists on carrying and holding an umbrella; gives her comforting food; opens the door when she knocks, a kind kind kind person.

The most terrible of it is that he seems to love her.

"What?" Ichigo asks, returning her gaze, his eyebrows raise questioningly. He is boyishly handsome.

"Stella. Can you-?" She says, a smile on her lips –which he probably couldn't see.

Ichigo turns wordlessly and reaches out for a bottle and opens it. He hands it to her softly saying, "your arms are short. I get it."

"Oh?"

Oh. Rukia spends a little more time deciphering that little comment. Maybe: there is humor there and a lot of undiscovered depths.

The movie continues and they sit in silence.

(this night could be the first of her good memories of him)