Disclaimers: All rights to Marvel. Characters, lines and context from Marvel Movies, TV Shows, Cartoons & Comics.
Warnings: Mention of miscarriage and fertility-related issues in the first chapter.
"Can we hear it again?" (Chris Crush sequel)
Author's note: Title from the animated movie Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008), by James Rogers – son of Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff.
I started 'Chris Crush' in 2013, to tell Steve and Natasha's love story through movie dates (Chris Evans' movies). The 'Chris Crush Universe' is set after the movie The Avengers (2012), so it doesn't reflect all the recent events in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. After almost 2 years, more than 130,000 words, and 3 side stories, our beloved couple has been through a lot. They evolved, and grew together, in a progressive, natural path. And this is the next step. What happened after the 'happily ever after'…
This is the sequel to Chris Crush (main) and it will follow a chronological sequence. Chris Crush (Family) will continue to have one-shots, which will be addressed here, when needed, and also Chris Crush (Avengers) with teams stories. There are two more chapters to be posted in Chris Crush (main): the wedding and the honeymoon, and lots of Chris Crush (Love scenes). I'm sorry it's taking me so long. But it's Ultron's fault, if you know what I mean.
I hope you enjoy!
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It had to be you
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October, 2014. Avengers Tower.
Romanogers floor.
After coming back from their romantic honeymoon, the Rogers were still adapting to this new stage of their lives. Their happiness, however, was more than evident. Natasha was absolutely glowing and Steve couldn't be more passionate.
Everything was going well… until she got unexpectedly sick… and dizzy.
For any normal newlywed couple, the first natural suspicion would be a pregnancy. But those weren't words to be applied to the Black Widow.
"No, no! This can't be happening," visibly nervous, she texted her doctor.
She was freaking out in a way that he would've never imagined, so he tried to calm her down, "Whatever this is, we'll solve it together, okay?"
The look on her face was one of absolute panic, and she stuttered, "I need… to tell you… something."
They sat by their bed, Steve took her hands in his, reassuringly, "I'm here."
"Please, hear me out," she was about to cry, and he nodded silently, taken by surprise with her emotional reaction. "I told you that… I can't… I can't have children," she breathed, and a teardrop fell from her sad green eyes. They both remembered it. Right after they had got together, while watching a movie, she had talked about this and a few other important things about her life. "It's true," she continued, devastated, before confessing, "But it doesn't mean that I can't get pregnant. That's why I use a contraceptive implant."
Her fragility was breathtaking, and he would never doubt her, but it didn't make sense. "I don't understand," he replied, beyond confused.
"The serum they gave me, it made me the ultimate killer. My body will attack… kill… anything… foreign…" The burden of those last words and their terrible meaning fell upon them with full force, and she couldn't hold it in anymore… she cried.
"Oh, God…" completely shocked with such horrifying revelation, Steve held his wife with all his love, and tried to shush her.
Nestled in Steve's protective, caring embrace, Natasha told him everything she had learned from the head of Biotech at the Red Room, Lyudmila Kudrin. 'We rewired you all biochemically. Gave you ramped up immune and cellular repair systems. Your wounds heal four, maybe five times as fast as a normal human's would. You hardly get sick, you don't age as fast. But pregnancy is an illness, a weakening. The systems we built into you will recognize it as an attack, and respond accordingly. Miscarriage. Automatic, as a fail-safe. No Black Widow can ever have a child. We wanted warriors, not mothers.'
That was definitely the last and most cruel consequence of being one of the Black Widows. All trained by the Red Room from girlhood to be perfect killing machines: chemically enhanced for performance, psycho-chemically conditioned, and implanted with false memories to be loyal. Destined to be loners.
Her voice was a sad lament, "What kind of a monster would kill her own… baby…"
"No, my love, don't ever say this," he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and held her even tighter, "I told you before. Please… you need to stop blaming yourself for what those monsters did to you."
Despite his efforts to comfort her, Steve couldn't be more heartbroken. Even with his unquestionable love and support, Natasha had been through a difficult path of redemption, and she had fought hard to make amends for all her sins. It took a long time for her to truly open herself to love and live. But this was too hard of a punch, and she was blaming herself all over again. More than anyone, he knew that no one could change the past… He felt powerless as never before.
"I swear," he took a long, deep breath, "If Bucky hadn't finished them all…"
"Yeah, I owe him…" she agreed, melancholically.
Those had been difficult times, but with a good outcome. After regaining his memories, Bucky had embarked on a relentless journey of revenge against his former controllers. Not only had the Winter Soldier crushed the remainders of the Red Room, but he also had stopped an evil plan to kill the Black Widow operatives, ultimately saving Natasha's life.
She added quite hesitantly, "There's a drug, among the things he retrieved. It's called Medusagen."
He frowned, "What for?"
"It's a system suppressant, so it would weaken my repair and immune functions," she explained.
Instantly worried, he asked, "It could be used as a weapon against you?"
"Yes, but… I've been thinking… It could be an alternative, you know? To tamper down my killer system… I found out that some other girls used it…"
A long time ago, the spy had made peace with herself, knowing that she would never have a family. Honestly, she hadn't thought she deserved it. It had never bothered her… before Steve. He had changed her whole world… because he deserved everything. Since they had been public about their relationship, and she had admitted that she wanted to live with him, things had become different. Slowly, a secret dream had started to grow inside her, and suddenly, that was all she could think of… To give him a child… an heir, that would carry all the goodness Steve represented for her. She had been looking for a solution, which would allow a pregnancy to go full term.
However, Steve wouldn't accept anything that would put Natasha in danger. Ever. He was adamant, "No way. Absolutely not. Nat, please, nothing is worth risking your life. We can't trust these chemicals."
"It was just an idea."
After gazing at her intently, he asked, "What's on your mind?"
He knew her too well, and she sighed, bashfully, "I talked to my doctor, you know? She's also a geneticist."
"Dr. Johansson?"
"Yes. She told me about alternative methods of conception… surrogacy, egg donation…"
"Sweetheart, please, look at me," he cupped her face gently, "You don't need to do any of this. I don't need it."
"I want to give you a family. Everything you deserve…"
Steve couldn't resist her, whenever she looked at him, with her stunning unmasked eyes. Not that he could otherwise. "You're everything I need, all I want," he leaned in, and captured her lips in a searing kiss. When they broke for air, he whispered softly, "And we talked about this before, we can adopt. There are many amazing children out there in need for a family."
"I know that," she smiled, "I'm an orphan too."
He opened the sweetest smile, "That will be perfect."
"It just doesn't seem fair to you."
"Why? I'm married to the most amazing woman. What else do I need?" he smiled coyly.
"So you don't want to have a baby? Your baby?" despite their playful tone, her question was nothing but serious.
"I didn't say that," his piercing blue eyes stared at her emerald ones, and he spoke firmly, will all his honesty, "I want you. And everything with you. Only you."
"I don't deserve you," she blushed.
"Too late," picking up her hand, he kissed her wedding ring, "You're mine forever."
"I love you," she pulled him in for a languid kiss.
Medical floor.
The next day, Dr. Johansson submitted Natasha to a series of exams, and Steve stood by her bedside the whole time. The few selected professionals involved with the Avengers health were always extremely cautious, and the ob-gyn was no exception. After checking all the results, the renowned physician came to talk to the worried couple.
"I couldn't have better news. Congratulations! You are pregnant, and everything is going fine…"
Those were words that would certainly bring joy and happiness to many couples everywhere. However, they hit Natasha harder than a thousand bullets. For her, they only meant that her body would kill Steve's baby, and that was simply too much for her… she couldn't bare it. A wave of dizziness washed over her, and she fainted.
"Nat?" he yelled alarmed, holding her quickly.
The doctor reacted instantly, checking her vitals, and spoke calmly, "Natasha, listen to me, the baby is fine. Can you hear me, dear? The baby is fine." And turning to the worried husband, Dr. Johansson reassured, "She's okay, this is a common reaction for pregnant woman."
"Pregnant..." Steve tried to understand the information.
Supported by his strong arms, Natasha blinked slowly, and after taking deep breaths, she stuttered, "How…?"
"I checked your file. You missed your last appointment to change your contraceptive implant. My secretary sent a few messages but I assume you were busy with the wedding. It was expired for a while."
"I never missed it… I couldn't… I can't…" she shook her head in disbelief.
"You don't need to worry anymore. We did all the tests, including DNA. Your body isn't rejecting the baby. You're having a completely normal pregnancy. He is perfectly okay."
Steve stuttered, "H-he?"
"Yes, Captain, he's a boy."
"Doctor, I'm sorry, I can't understand…" Natasha still couldn't let herself to believe.
Dr. Johansson explained everything patiently, from the beginning. "Human bodies are designed to detect foreign substances and attack them. Bacteria, viruses, even a donated organ. The fetus gets half of its genetic material from the father, which means it is perceived as an intruder in the mother's body. The placenta develops from the fetus, and protects it from the mother's immune system. That's the normal process. With Natasha's enhanced physiology it would be even dangerous, no doubt. But your baby has also the Captain's DNA. He is special too."
"My DNA…" Steve was completely astonished.
"You are the only perfect super-soldier. It matters. We did only preliminary tests, so I can't give you a definitive answer yet. It can be a latent compatibility, since Natasha received a variant of your super-serum. Or it can be related to the Captain's healing factor, acting as a perfect match to Natasha's immune system. Anyway, you don't need to worry. We'll be monitoring everything very closely."
For the first time, Natasha put her shaking hand over her belly and asked, "He's really okay?"
"How about her?"
"Both the baby and the mother are perfectly healthy. We'll keep you here just for a few more tests, but you can go back home by the end of the day. I can assure you both, for now, everything is absolutely normal. Let me show you."
As Dr. Johansson performed the ultrasound scan, a tiny blurred image appeared on the large monitor in front of them, and the most amazing sound filled the room. "That's the baby's heartbeat," the doctor explained.
Mesmerized, Steve and Natasha watched everything with teary eyes. He kept one hand caressing the top of her head, while intertwined the other with hers.
After finishing the exam, the doctor said before leaving, "I'll give you some privacy, call me if you have any more questions."
"Thank you," Steve sat back on Natasha's hospital bed, and pulled her close, both still trying to process everything that just happened.
"I can't believe I forgot it," she cried profusely.
"Oh, my dear, it was meant to be, don't you see? Divine providence," he whispered full of joy, cradling her to his chest, "Thank The Lord, for our son." Cupping her face with his caring hands, he kissed her tears away, "We'll be parents, my love. You will be a mommy."
"I've been dreaming about this for a long time… to have a baby with you… our baby," she whispered among sobs, "I can't believe it was so simple."
"We're meant for each other, that's the simple truth. And this baby is God's blessing to our union." He pulled her in again for a tender, passionate kiss, as tears kept falling from them both, "I love you more than you can imagine."
"It had to be you," she whispered between his lips.
The soldier and the spy were living happily ever after. It wouldn't always be easy. But a super baby was on the way… the living proof of their blessed love.
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Happy Mother's Day!
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Author's note: I hope that, despite the heavy, serious subject, I made you smile.
I decided to start this story now, even before finishing Chris Crush (main), after watching the movie Avengers: Age of Ultron. As a woman, and a mother of two daughters, I was truly upset by Natasha's fertility-driven plot line, among so many other things. Because this is a very sensitive subject, and yes, we should talk and think about it. But, not in the rude, tasteless way that was done by the supposed 'feminists' in the movie. I need to quote dear Rachel Green, "No uterus, no opinion."
I know that I'm too nit-picky, but the teacher in me needs to have the things clearly explained. That's why I included Natasha Romanoff's background from the comics. Yes, the Red Room wanted warriors, not mothers, but that was a consequence, a side-effect of the whole process of making them stronger. Not some punitive 'graduation' ceremony, as the movie implied. Please. And they expect her to be loyal after that? Not being able to have a child is certainly a terrible burden that many women have, but no one should be called a monster for that (even if it wasn't intended, that was how it sounded in the movie). Anyway, in my book, none of this is a base for a true romantic relationship – it sounds more like a coward contingency plan. Besides, there are many alternative ways to have a family, including other conception options. It saddens me that the movie's writers didn't seem to read their own comics, nor did they do proper research about such a delicate feminine subject.
Okay, enough of me rambling.
This chapter was originally scripted with the whole story, also in 2013, as part of the final bonus chapter (to be titled after Scarlett Johansson's movie, The Other Boleyn Girl). The idea was to introduce an heir for Steve and Natasha, and since the movie was co-starred by Natalie Portman, I had written a fun scene with a jealous Thor. Since Jane Foster isn't in my main plot anymore, I decided to post the pregnancy part here. It starts in 2014 because I have a whole timeline already scripted (I'm terribly late, but in my defense, I have more 10 years planned ahead).
Please, feel free to ask me anything and forgive any English mistake, my 1st language is Portuguese. Commentaries in Spanish are welcomed too.
Thanks to my great friend and Romanogers beta Lovedrr, always helping me. I miss your words, my dear.
Thanks for reading, and please, tell me what you think.
Love you all,
xoxo Mari
*** Writing is a labor of love. Please, support our young writers, leave a review! ***
Ref: Fanfic: Chris Crush (main) – # 7 'Push' – [Natasha] I can't have children.
#18 'The Iceman' – Bucky vs Red Room.
Ref: Comics Black Widow Vol 2 (2005) – #5 "A field in the East" – [Lyudmila Kudrin] (Medusagen) it's a system suppressant, it weakens your repair and immune functions. (…) If she was pregnant, she'd need to. (…) We rewired you all biochemically. Gave you ramped up immune and cell repairs systems. All the Black Widows have it. Your wounds heal four, maybe five times as fast as a normal human's would. You hardly get sick, you don't age as fast. (…) Pregnancy is an illness. A weakening. (…) The systems we built into you will recognize all of this as an attack, and respond accordingly. Miscarriage. Automatic, as a fail-safe. No Black Widow can ever have a child. We wanted warriors, not mothers.
#6 "Now that's what I call a woman" – Natasha has discovered that she was one of the original Black Widow agents (…) All trained by the Red Room from girlhood to be perfect killing machines: chemically enhanced for performance, psycho-chemically conditioned, and implanted with false memories to be loyal. (…) Lyudmila Antonovna Kudrin, former head of Biotech at the Red Room.