Sleeping Dogs

Chapter One

Doubting Thomas

"He's going to break up with me," Koujaku said morosely, drawing invisible patterns on the countertop. Behind the bar, Mizuki polished a glass serenely.

"Probably," he agreed.

Koujaku glared, eyes only slightly glassy from the drink.

"You're supposed to make me feel better, asshole."

Mizuki smirked. "And have you both come to me every time you have relationship problems?" He shuddered. "No thank you."

"Who else am I supposed to talk to?" Koujaku grumbled. He pushed his glass forwards a bit with his fingertips and Mizuki graciously refilled it.

"Anyone other than me?"

Koujaku shot him another glare and Mizuki sighed, probably wishing that the bar wasn't closed so he could excuse himself. He grabbed a stool and moved it in front of Koujaku. He sat down and braced his elbows on the counter, looking at Koujaku with exaggerated patience.

"All right, special one-time counseling service, only for friends. Let's hear it."

Koujaku thought about thanking him sarcastically, but didn't want to risk Mizuki leaving. Instead he swirled his drink, watching the amber liquid contemplatively while he got his thoughts in order.

"He been acting strange," Koujaku said slowly. "I mean, he doesn't act too differently, I guess, but I haven't seen him much lately. He's always busy working late or visiting friends." The only friends Aoba had that were outside of his and Koujaku's circle were those weirdos he'd met nearly a year ago, the gas mask guy and that shitty brat. The thought of Aoba hanging out with such shady company made him frown.

"That's not so bad," Mizuki said.

"He's been sleeping over at Tae-san's a lot lately, too," Koujaku said glumly. He hadn't realized how lonely sleeping alone was until Aoba's warmth was disturbingly absent from his bed.

Mizuki raised a brow, and for the first time looked genuinely concerned. Oddly enough, it made Koujaku feel a little better, like his doubts were validated.

"Hm," Mizuki mused, drumming the fingers of one hand on the bar. "Did he say why?"

"He was worried she felt lonely."

"Well, there you go," Mizuki said, as if that was that. "You know how Aoba is about family."

"Yeah…"

Sensing Koujaku's doubt, Mizuki continued.

"Has he stopped saying 'I love you'? Seemed disgusted by your touch?"

"No." Even the brief snatches of time he'd managed to snag with Aoba had always ended with a fond goodbye. Mizuki rolled his eyes and stood.

"Then stop worrying so much." He walked around the counter and to the door, unlocking it and holding it wide open. "Now get your mopey-ass out of my bar and go kiss your boyfriend or something, because you're making me sick."

Koujaku grinned and rose as instructed.

"All right, all right," he said as he made his way over, raising his hand in supplicance. "I'm leaving."

"Thank God," Mizuki said, but he was smiling when Koujaku reached him.

Koujaku clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, man."

"No problem. I'm adding the drinks and therapy to you tab, though."

"I thought listening to people's problems was part of being a bartender."

"Listening to strangers problems," Mizuki corrected him. "As in people I will never have to see again. Listening to people I know complain?" Mizuki shook his head, red hair catching the neon lights that illuminated the door. "Now that's too much. I have to face you again, and knowing about all your girly issues with your boyfriend is goddamn embarrassing." Mizuki looked away pointedly. "I don't think I can stand to be seen with you. Out," he ordered crisply, pointing. "Before my bar gets a bad reputation."

Koujaku shoved Mizuki on the shoulder as he stepped out into the night, grinning.

"Dick."

"Asshole."

Grinning, they grasped hands and clapped each other's back, and then Koujaku was gone, walking back home beneath the ever-lit streets of the Old Resident District.

With the pleasant buzz of alcohol thrumming through his veins and Mizuki's encouraging words, Koujaku felt lighter than he had since this whole thing had started. Perhaps he was simply reading too much into Aoba's suddenly-busy social life. There had been plenty of times when business with Beni-Shigure kept Koujaku away, not to mention the ever-in-demand hairdressing he always had to make time for. Maybe this was just Koujaku finally seeing what it was like from the other side.

Koujaku stopped when he reached Main Street. Usually, on nights like this, he would go south and meet up with his fellow Beni-Shigure members, to drink, to hang out, and occasionally beat up punk ass ribsters and rhymers who got too big for their boots.

But no matter how much better he might feel about the cause, Aoba's absence still left him lonely. A week may not seem like a long time to some, but for Koujaku it was a week without Aoba's smile, a week without his beautiful hazel eyes and the way he mumbled in his sleep. A week without the sound of his laughter and how furiously he'd blush when Koujaku kissed him in public. An agonizingly long, cold week without the feel of his arms around him, his silky hair against his chest as he slept.

Mind made up, Koujaku headed east. He wanted to see his boyfriend, dammit.

After years of walking the same path, the walk to Aoba's house was calming in its routine. Ever since he was a kid, he knew he could go to Aoba's home and be welcomed, stuffed with good home-cooked meals and the irreplaceable warmth of family.

It was late, which meant Tae-san was asleep, but he had a spare key in case of emergencies and he used it when he got there.

The lights were all off but Koujaku could smell remnants of whatever delicious meal Tae-san had made. He wasn't even hungry but the thought of her food made Koujaku cast a mournful glance at the kitchen as he made his way up the stairs to Aoba's room.

He stepped lightly, wary of even the slightest creak that would bring Tae-san's wrath upon him. Koujaku feared little, but he feared her.

When he reached Aoba's room, Koujaku tapped very lightly on the door as a courtesy before letting himself in. He made to slide the door shut behind him, but something seemed...off and he stilled, eyes roaming over each surface.

At first, everything seemed normal. But Aoba's bed was neatly made, and he was nowhere to be seen.

Frustrated, Koujaku dropped his arm from the door, frowning. He glanced out the door to the balcony but came up empty. If Aoba wasn't here, did that mean he was with one of his friends?

The thought shouldn't have been so disheartening, but it was; didn't Aoba miss him at all?

Koujaku looked around again, still unable to push down the feeling that something was amiss. He stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed.

If he had to pick out something that bothered him, it would have to be how clean the room was. Aoba wasn't necessarily a messy person; he cleaned at Koujaku's and their kitchen was always spotless, but usually in the bedroom he felt more comfortable about leaving some clothes tossed on the floor, or a bit of clutter. It was usually Koujaku who did things like make the bed or clear off the dresser.

But Aoba's room was immaculate, bed dressed neatly and blankets tucked just so, floor and surfaces clear, even a few boxes tucked out of the way in the corner, remnants from his younger days.

All in all, it looked not unlike when Aoba finally made the move to Koujaku's apartment.

A trickle of unease slid down Koujaku's spine and he passed a hand over Aoba's small coffee table, his hand coming away covered in dust. Suspicious, Koujaku made his way out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom. He flicked on the light, wincing at the brightness, and saw that it was absent of Aoba's toothbrush.

Koujaku turned off the light and quietly closed the door. Then, he simply stood and thought.

Aoba had lied to him. He clearly wasn't staying here, when there wasn't a trace of him to be found.

But if he wasn't here, then where was he? Was he staying with one of his friends? And why wouldn't he tell Koujaku? Why keep it a secret?

Had he...met someone else?

The very thought made Koujaku's heart squeezed painfully and he clenched his hands into fists. He walked down the stairs and out of Tae-san's home, taking care to lock it behind him.

Having even the slightest doubt made Koujaku feel absurdly guilty, but he couldn't deny that now that he knew Aoba was lying to him, spending his nights who-knew-where, they were somewhat valid. It was the only thing he could think of to explain why Aoba was suddenly acting so suspiciously, gone all the time with excuses threadbare at best.

He needed to confront Aoba, demand he tell the truth, but the thought of hearing Aoba admit he was right, imagining Aoba looking him in the eyes and telling him he didn't love him anymore—

Koujaku stopped walking, shaking from the tidal wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. His tattoo felt like a brand on his back and he walked to the nearest building, falling against it and rubbing weary hands over his face. He took deep breaths until his distress faded to a quiet grief.

He was jumping the gun, he told himself; assuming the worst possible scenario. Aoba was a good person, and more than that, he trusted him. If anyone deserved the benefit of the doubt, it was Aoba.

'Still,' he couldn't help but think as he made his way back home, 'It better be one hell of a reason.'

Mind a jumbled mess of conflicted feelings, Koujaku just barely caught the sound of running water when he walked into his apartment.

Aoba. Surprised, Koujaku hesitated before shutting the door behind him. It seemed he and Aoba would be having that talk sooner than he thought.

Slipping off his shoes, Koujaku first went to the living room and slid Beni out from beneath the folds of his yukata and placed him on his usual perch on Ren's pillow, still asleep. Then he approached the bathroom and knocked.

Something crashed to the floor. Maybe the shampoo bottle. "Koujaku?" Aoba called, surprise evident in his tone. Koujaku frowned. Who else would it be?

"Were you expecting someone else?" Koujaku joked half-heartedly.

"No, no, give me a minute," Aoba called back, and a few seconds later the water shut off. Koujaku gave him his space and went to sit on the couch. He sank into the cushions and rested his head on the back, for the first time realizing how tired he was from walking all over the district.

The sound of approaching footsteps made him open his eyes, but before he could ask him to take a seat, he saw that Aoba, standing just a bit to the side of him (too far), had his jacket on and his duffel bag over his shoulder. The sight made alarm bells thunder in his mind but he forced his face into a sort of worried curiosity instead of the panic he was feeling.

"Going out?" He was mildly impressed his voice came out sounding so normal.

Aoba rubbed the back of his neck with his gloved hand, avoiding Koujaku's eyes. "Er, yeah. I needed to change and pick up some things and I was in the neighborhood." He glanced at Koujaku curiously. "Why aren't you with the Beni-Shigure guys?"

The 'You shouldn't be here' was heard loud and clear and it was a physical struggle not to jump up and shake Aoba, to demand to know what he was hiding.

Koujaku shrugged with forced casualness. "Didn't feel like it. Besides, I haven't seen you in a while."

Aoba immediately broke eyes contact as he said that. "Yeah, I know, it's like everybody suddenly wants to see me," he said, with a helpless shrug.

The air between them was strained as Koujaku watched him fidget and Aoba tried to make avoiding his eyes seem casual. He hiked the strap of his bag higher on his shoulder.

"Well, I should be go—"

"I miss you," Koujaku blurted.

Wow, that was so lame. He wanted to bang his head against a wall for saying something so needy. He sounded like some lonely housewife who knew their husband had a mistress. But he couldn't stop the words from leaving his mouth; he couldn't help but feel like he was losing Aoba.

Aoba started, and his hand fell from his bag. Then his eyes finally looked at Koujaku and they softened. He closed the distance between them and leaned over Koujaku, propping one knee on the cushion beside his leg and placing his hand on Koujaku's cheek. He smiled and it took Koujaku's breath away.

"I miss you, too," Aoba said quietly. He pressed his lips to Koujaku's and Koujaku was powerless to resist, raising his hand to Aoba's neck and lightly running his hands through the hair at his nape. Aoba shivered at the touch and broke the kiss. For a moment he simply looked down at Koujaku, biting his lip, before he gave him a small smile. It ached to see because Koujaku could see how tense he was, that it wasn't his true one.

"I love you, you hippo," Aoba told him, a teasing lilt to his voice.

Simple, familiar words, but there was no denying the honesty he saw in Aoba's eyes and he felt some of his anxiety releasing its vice grip on his heart. He still wanted Aoba to talk to him, but...if Aoba didn't want to tell him, then there was no point in questioning him, trying to guilt him into it. They simply weren't that kind of couple.

"I love you, too, Aoba," Koujaku said seriously, looking straight into Aoba's eyes. Aoba colored and looked away, a frown tugging on his features. Koujaku doubted he even knew he was doing it, but he'd grown up with Aoba and could tell when something was troubling him.

Aoba leaned up and kissed Koujaku once more on the forehead before straightening.

"I'll see you later," Aoba promised.

"See you later," Koujaku echoed somewhat sadly. He watched Aoba walk away and only when he heard the door shut did he allow himself to sag back against the couch, staring at the ceiling morosely.

He felt simultaneously better and worse. He'd come this close to mentioning his visit to Tae-san's but he'd held back. He didn't like these secrets between them, the awkward space it forced them across. After a week of worry to only have some of his doubts realized was not how he'd envisioned to spend his weekend.

Koujaku glanced at his coil and could have wept at the hour; he had work tomorrow and he was already off to a bad start.

Koujaku went to his bedroom and knew he should get some rest. Instead, rather than get under the covers, he pulled out his cigarettes and lighter and sat at the head of his bed, opening his window.

He needed a smoke.

Sooooo...yeah. What's up, everybody? It's been a minute, that's for sure. But I just got a new laptop, so hopefully you'll be seeing more of me. This particular story has just been sitting around since last year, and I figured I might as well post it, just to see what kind of reception it gets. The rating may change if I continue...we'll see.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and if you liked, hated it, have advice, please leave a comment!