Shaking.

Someone is shaking me.

Confused, I lift my head. I promptly regret it. My neck gives a sharp throb in response to my movement, and I groan. "What the hell?" I mutter, my hand, cold, runs over the sore spot. A headache blooms behind my eyes, dull and irritatingly present.

"We've landed," a familiar voice says, quiet and soothing. I glance over my shoulder, gradually unfolding the rest of my aching body.

Sleeping like this was clearly a mistake.

L stares at me, patient in a way I've never seen. His gaze is soft as he looks at me. I close my eyes to his face and rub my fingers into my eye sockets. "Watari is unloading our things, and the car is here. It's a bit of a drive to my house, so you can sleep on the way," he says.

Well now. Look who's being uncharacteristically considerate. I ignore it for now, filing it away for further perusal later. "What time is it?"

"One twenty-three," he replies. I glace outside. Yup. That would be one twenty-three in the fucking morning. I'm exhausted. I've done more time zone switches in the past couple of months than I've ever done in my life.

"I'll let you wake up a bit more. We'll be waiting in the car."

L leaves, and I sink back into the cushions with a sigh. My whole body hurts.

I let my eyes slide closed with a yawn. My brain is taking its sweet time in waking up, but I stand after a second anyway. Blood rushes to my head and I sway, suddenly glad I didn't do that while L was here. How embarrassing that would have been, I muse, reaching out to grab the windowsill. I wait for the dizziness and alarming colors in my vision to pass.

Walking isn't something my body wants to do. I stumble out of the plane and solid ground under my feet is as unpleasant as standing. I swallow a wave of unexpected nausea and walk over to the car, uncaring of my appearance at the moment.

"You look like you've been run over with a semi-truck," is Mello's contribution as soon as I sit in the limousine, next to L.

I close the door behind me and lean my head against the cool window, paying the blond menace no mind.

"You really don't look well," Watari agrees from the front seat. "I have medication at the house for your head," he continues. I groan in response as the car begins to move.

Every word from then on becomes a gentle hum. Beyond's voice is grating, however, and he speaks the most often. Mostly, he's arguing with Near and Mello, with Matt chiming in every once in a while.

L is silent. I can feel him staring at me, but I don't lift my head.

I doze off. My nap is interrupted abruptly when Watari has to break suddenly from a driver cutting him off. My head jolts forward, and it becomes a full body fight or flight response that makes my head pound and my muscles tense. "I apologize," Watari says smoothly. I glance up at him in the rearview mirror, but he's not looking at me.

He's giving L a weighted look, and I look at the man beside me to see him biting at his lip. The other four are oblivious.

Matt glances at me, and I rethink that observation. The redhead gives me a small nod.

This is significant somehow.

L wraps his arm around my waist and tugs me against him. I tense, but don't say anything, weary of the man's motives and of obnoxious, loud, and creepy over there.

Watari returns to driving after smiling slightly at L, and Matt gives me another nod.

Reluctantly, I relax into L's hold, and Matt returns to ignoring me.

"Just go back to sleep. We'll be there soon, and you need to rest," L mutters into my ear, urging me onto his shoulder.

I'm too exhausted and too emotionally worn to resist.

His hair is soft, and the clothing he's wearing is a much better comfort than the car door. He's warm, and I find myself relaxing even further the more he breathes. I wrap my arm around his waist in turn and bury my face. The conversation pauses around us, and L moves slightly, then the noises resume. I'm grateful for the lack of a fuss.

L starts to rub his thumb in circles on my hip, leaning his head on mine with a sigh.

I wish I knew what he was thinking.

...

The safe house is a quaint little place. Everyone else is clearly familiar with it. Matt immediately throws himself on the couch in the living room to the left, pulling a game boy out of his pants somewhere. I try not to think about it.

Mello follows Matt and says, "I'm going to bed. You can join me or lie there like a sack of dirt."

"I might lie down later," Matt agrees, "But I'll sit here for now."

"Fine."

Mello vanishes down the hall, curling his shoulders inward with exhaustion. He doesn't turn on any lights, which I'm grateful for, and opens a door at the end of the dark hall, vanishing behind it and shutting the door quietly behind him.

Near gives a little hum and I turn and eye him quickly. But he only turns to the right and opens a refrigerator, and starts digging through it. Beyond stands behind him and stares at the contents of the fridge until Near hands him a jar of jam. I wrinkle my nose in distaste and he smirks at me in the faint light.

L tugs on my sleeve. "Your bedroom is this way," he says quietly when I glance at him. My eyes blur slightly as my head pounds, and I nod and let him lead me away.

Damn. I swore to myself I wouldn't do this. But there's no stopping now- I'm already done for.

He stands awkwardly in the doorway as I sit on the bed. I don't know what he wants, so I just stare at him, my eyebrows raised. I blink heavily and he sighs. "I am sorry," he says, and I hold up my hand and shake my head.

"Save it. Just let me sleep, if that's all you wanted," I say, and tug the blankets down. I hear the door close and I crawl under the covers and wish I could stop feeling.

…

Waking up the next morning is every bit as difficult as I imagined it would be.

I check my phone, and blink in the brightness that reads 4:10 in the morning.

No wonder I'm so exhausted.

But there are footsteps outside the door, pacing, and I roll my eyes and get out of the bed. The damn bathroom is across the hall so I have to deal with whoever is outside. I'm thinking it's likely L, which is exactly how I don't want to start my day.

I'm wrong.

The door clicks shut behind me and Mello's eyes are pinning me in place. "I hope you're ready," he says sternly.

"To see a burn site?"

"Probably to get bombed, actually," Matt says, padding past us both down the hall, to the kitchen.

I swallow heavily and Mello stares after him, then looks at me when the redhead is no longer in sight. "He's so pessimistic," he tells me. "But I wouldn't be surprised if it actually happened."

"You're both insane."

"Are we?"

…

"I think… there's something…"

L bends down to look at a stone in the dirt, but that's all I can really see. The bodies have been cleared away, and my Skype call with my father revealed they reaped similar results. That is, nothing. No clues, not a single thing other than what was on the picture.

I have to wonder, once again, what the hell I'm doing here.

"There is," L says after a weighted moment, and Mello perks up from where he'd been picking at a tree with burn marks, and Near simply turns his head to look. Mello walks over leisurely, bending down next to L to see. L frowns at the rock.

Matt takes this distraction as an opportunity to light his cigarette, and that is when everything goes wrong.

"Fuck," Mello screeches, and L flees quickly from the rock, but Mello isn't so lucky. His screaming will haunt me forever.

He trips because of his heeled boots and the small detonation is enough to burn through the leather on his body, and I stare, half in shock, and half in fascination. The blond screams. Matt runs and crashes next to his lover, putting out the fire with the extinguisher that Watari has yanked from the car. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Mello repeats.

"Dial for the ambulance," L commands, but Near clicks his phone shut.

"Already done."

There is little to nothing I can do except watch, and wait. I don't know these people well enough to provide comfort of any kind.

Beyond stands next to me after Mello's been leaned against a tree, holding the rock L had found. He says nothing as he lets me take it.

00:00, in blazing red numbers, of course, but there's a note:

You'll suffer more before you find me again.

"Again?" I repeat, looking at Beyond for clarity.

But he shakes his head. He has no idea.

…

The ambulance arrives quickly, and Mello is on a stretcher with Matt next to him as the doors click shut. "What did you say happened?"

My father is on the phone, and I don't quite register what he's telling me as I watch the red and blue lights flicker on above the ambulance and the sirens go on.

"The same damn thing, Raito, please keep up. What's wrong?"

"Was someone hurt?" I ask, ignoring the last part because I don't want to admit that yes, my brain does seem to be slowing down. It's getting harder and harder to maintain focus.

"No, no. It went off not long after we left, apparently. Maybe twenty minutes after."

The ambulance drives away. L takes my lightly by the arm and guides me into the car.

"I want the demographics team on this immediately," Near is saying into his own phone, and my father sighs heavily.

"Is it wrong that I am glad it was the boy and not you?"

"Not at all," I say, mostly absently, as my vision blurs with a sudden, wrenching pain that rips through my head. I sit next to L in the car and lay my head on the cold window. "Look. We're driving to the hospital now, and I'll give you updates as I get them," I say.

"Alright. Stay safe."

I hang up.

…

I stare at my medication the next morning, and toss it into the trash.

I'd rather be in pain with a sharp mind than be okay without my brain power to help me.

…

Third degree, and poison gas. That's the verdict for Mello's injury.

The kid has declined the skin graphs and so he'll be out of the hospital in a week.

Until then, we're stuck here.

And there is absolutely less than nothing I want to be doing right now.

My father has texted a picture of his version of the rock to L, and we're no closer to understand who this is or what he wants.

Be careful what you wish for.

It makes L wonder what other notes might have been at the other bomb sites, so he's headed out with Matt and Beyond to the other sites while Near and I sit in the house.

…

"You're the lucky one," Beyond said.

"Do what?" I asked, glancing up as he sat across from me, leaning back without a care in the world.

"You got migraines instead of madness."

"Madness? You don't seem mad, unless I look at the fact that you're a murderer."

I was confused. What he was saying made little sense.

"As a price for the Eyes. Did you know I hear things?"

…

I wake, eyes wide. The pain flares viciously as the light hits my eyes before settling to a dull throbbing. I groan, and roll over, looking out the window of my temporary bedroom to the setting sun. I guess I was asleep longer than I thought.

Four texts from L.

There were notes at the other scenes. None of them make any sense.

Did he know we would be there? What do you think?

We might be being watched.

We're being watched.