Author's note: Based on the novel '84 Charing Cross Road' by Helene Hanff.
Dear sir/ madam,
Your ad in 'The Daily Mirror' says that you specialize in rare editions of fairytales and folklore stories.
I must confess I'm slightly intimidated by the term rare, as I tend to equal the word rare with the
word expensive.
As I'm only a small-town librarian with a budget generated by public funding I'm not able to afford
anything too expensive, but I'd appreciate it greatly if you could help me find a copy of
Charles Perrault's Diamonds and Toads for a reasonable prize.
Sincerely,
Belle French
Dear Miss French,
Thank you for your inquiry. Rare editions of even rarer fairytales for a bargain price are hard to come by,
but since I find myself sympathetic towards your budget struggles I've worked my magic and can offer
you a volume of the tale you requested at a reduced price of $25,-
Will this be acceptable?
With regards,
RSG
My darling sorcerer,
I don't know what kind of magic you work, but I'm impressed.
YES, I would like Diamonds and Toads for that price.
I've enclosed the money with the letter, please send me the book ASAP.
Do you happen to have anything written by Carlo Collodi in stock?
Yours truly,
Belle French
Dear Miss French,
Presently I have The Adventures of Pinnochio with commentary available if you're interested.
It's not a very rare edition, so it I'm confident it'll fit within your budget.
That having said, I must confess to find myself disappointed by your careless attitude towards
tax money.
Entrusting it to the fickleness that is the American Postal Service?
Tsk tsk… I expected better from a librarian.
In future please deposit the money to the account mentioned on the invoice.
With regards,
RSG
Dear RSG,
Mea Culpa, I stand duly chastised and will do better from now on.
That having said, WHAT KIND OF DIM-WITTED IDIOT WROTE THAT COMMENTARY?
Stating that Gepetto's wish to have a son diminished his masculinity is the most ridiculous,
off-putting thing I've ever read!
And I have just managed to wrestle my way through the atrocity that is 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'.
(Never reading anything like that ever again)
Shame on Mr. Jones.
Have you come across anything interesting lately?
Yours truly,
Belle French
Dear Miss French,
I whole-heartily share your sentiments on the ludicrous commentary of Mr. Jones.
I've always felt that having a son, or a child for that matter is one of the greatest joys of a man's life.
Recently I have acquired an early edition of Lewis Caroll's Alice in Wonderland.
The cover is somewhat dusty, but otherwise it is a very fine copy.
Interested?
With regards,
RSG
PS: Fifty Shades of Gray, really? I never took you for someone who favored the 'pain is gain' approach.
Dear RSG,
Trust me, most of the pain was inflicted by the horrible quality of the writing.
Otherwise I thought there was no appeal to the entire scenario.
But as a librarian I have to remain somewhat in touch with mainstream publications.
I'm glad we agree on Mr. Jones though. I always wanted to have children, but I don't believe
for a moment that this desire is a typical female thing. Do you have kids?
Do I want an early edition of Alice in Wonderland he asks innocently.
Of course I would!
I've already wrote you a cheque, so now I'm eagerly awaiting the package.
And since we've progressed to the point where we're discussing sexual preferences,
don't you think it's time you start calling me Belle?
Yours truly,
Belle
Miss French,
I'm pleased to inform you that your payment has been received and that the copy
of Alice in Wonderland you've ordered is on it's way.
Thank you for your purchase.
With regards,
RSG
Dear RSG,
What's wrong?
Love,
Belle
…
Dear Miss French,
I apologize for the tardiness of this reply and the formality of my previous letter.
You asked me if I had children.
I had a son, but he has passed away a couple of years ago.
I'm sorry, this is still a very painful subject to me.
Recently I came across a copy of Little Briar-Rose, please accept this as an apology.
Yours truly,
RSG
Dear RSG,
First of all, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I'm sorry for prying.
I asked because you sounded like such a proud and loving father that I'd penned
down the question before I'd even thought it trough.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you for the beautiful copy of Little Briar-Rose. I will treasure it.
Love,
Belle
Dear Miss French,
You have nothing to apologize for either.
Neal was the joy of my life and being his father the greatest honor.
You're very perceptive for picking up on that.
I'm not sure how dire your financial predicament is at the moment, but currently I
have a The Collected Works of Grimm available.
It includes most of the well-known tales like The Frog King, Rapunzel, Snow White
and Sleeping Beauty.
It costs $40,- but I think it will be a valuable addition to your collection.
Yours truly,
RSG
Dear RSG,
Recently I've started to receive compliments on the wide variety of the library's fantasy section,
so I'm inclined to take your advice to heart, even if I risk the wrath of Mayor Mills.
Please consider this a purchase order.
Love,
Belle
Ps: Are you ever going to call me Belle?
Dear Miss French,
The Collected Works of Grimm is on its way towards you.
Are you familiar with the works of Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve?
I think it might interest you.
There are very few decent translations available, but I'll keep an eye out for you.
Yours truly,
RSG
Dear infuriating man,
Don't think I can't see what you're doing.
You're trying to distract me with romantic tales of beasts and maidens, but it's not going to work.
Because aside from the fact that you are blatantly refusing to use my first name,
after all this time I still have no idea what yours is.
Love,
B
E
L
L
E
Ps: I'm very interested in the fairy tales written by Miss Barbot de Villeneuve.
I did a quick Google-search and they sound intriguing.
Dear Miss French,
Dearie, if you want to know my name, you'll have to guess.
Yours truly,
RSG
Ps: Do you happen to speak French? I found a very battered copy of La Belle et la Bēte.
Still on the hunt for a decent translation.
Dear
Robert Sinclair Green
Rhett Saul Grant
Richard Gere Star-of-Hollywood,
I'm assuming I get three guesses.
Love,
Belle
PS: Qui, je parle Français. Alas… mais un petite peu.
Dear Miss French,
No,
No,
and absolutely NOT.
Yours truly,
RSG
Ps: I may have found you a translation.
Dear
Rumford Storm Garland
Rick Simon Gold
Ridge Stan Granger,
Am I even close?
All my love,
Belle
Ps: You're a miracle worker. I'm beyond excited.
Dear Miss French,
A resounding no on all three accounts.
Yours truly,
RSG
Ps: I've managed to obtain a translation called 'Beauty and the Beast' and I'm sending it your way.
I hope you'll enjoy it. Consider it to be a fairly accurate allegory.
I have enjoyed our correspondence beyond anything words can express.
Your letters have brought a light to my life that I'd thought to have diminished for good ever since Neal died.
But the plain truth is that I'm very difficult man to get along with and I fear that lately I've given you
a less than true impression of the sort of man that I am.
For both our sakes I think the most sensible thing to do is to end our contact here.
Thank you for everything, Belle.
Dear Rumplestiltskin,
(Well, what's a girl to come up with when a man steadily refuses to give her his name?)
If you think even for a moment that I'm going to let you hide behind a fairytale monster t
hat isn't even a monster in said story to begin with, you're even more obtuse then I thought.
Did you really think that I wouldn't be able to track you and your shop down months ago through the internet?
Rumford Stan Gold, I'm coming to Boston on the 12th of February.
Google maps ensured me there's a nice looking coffee place across your shop.
I'll be sitting there around three o' clock, reading a book.
Take a wild guess which one.
Be there.
Yours,
Belle
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