comfort.

"She's resting now."

Anna heaved a sigh of relief as John entered the little waiting room with two cups of coffee in hand. She smiled up at him from her plastic chair (which was not made for sitting in, apparently) and took the paper cup from him. She knew without looking at it that it was already made to her taste (two sugars, one cream, a splash of milk or hazelnut, whichever they had). He'd been making her coffee every morning they'd spent together the past nine or so months.

"What did the doctors say?" she asked as he gingerly took the seat beside her, setting his coffee down on the table beside him.

John sighed and scratched at his unshaven chin. "They want to keep her overnight, but she should be able to go back to Queen's Regency tomorrow. They have a step down care unit there." He crossed one leg over the other and Anna's hand automatically drifted to lace her fingers with his across his knee.

"Did they say how it happened?"

John's mouth pressed together in a thin line, his eyes flashing darkly. "She slipped on the stairs and hit her head. They didn't deem her a wandering risk yet, so she didn't have the bracelet that keeps the doors locked. She'll get one when she goes back, that's for certain. They'll also move her to the corridor that houses people with…" He stopped and took an uneven breath as he leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of his hair with his free hand (broken and on the verge of exploding).

Anna slid her arm around his shoulders and felt the tremors that shook him. She shushed him gently as her hand traced whorls into the fabric. "What can I do?" she whispered as she rocked him ever so slightly.

His cheeks tightened into a small smile as he reached up to cover her hand with his. "You're already doing it," he replied.

care.

They decided to spend the second night at the hotel, despite Anna's protests. Her flat was closer to his mother, but he was insistent. After a lunch of cold sandwiches in the hospital cafeteria, they were more than eager to have dinner in a modest little family-owned restaurant on the way back to the hotel.

Of course, his mother had been on his mind, and he was pensive the rest of the day. He voiced his concerns about her future, knowing that she would never get better overall, and would only continue to decline, likely at a rapid rate.

Over a shared slice of tiramisu at dessert, he noticed that Anna was frowning (trying to decide whether to speak or not. he knew that much about her by now).

"What's on your mind?" he asked quietly as he pushed his fork around the plate.

Anna put her fork down and licked her lips. "I was thinking about your mother," she said, "and how you're so frightened about leaving her again and not seeing her for another few months."

He nodded. It would be at least April or May before he could get back to London (to see his mother, of course, but also to see Anna, if she'd have him). "I know she's getting good care, despite what happened this morning," he said slowly, "but I would prefer to be able to see how she's doing."

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I could always look in on her for you," she offered. "When I'm home, I mean. It wouldn't be a bother. As a doctor, I could probably get credentialed for the facility." (she said it all in a rush, as if he would stop her before she could get all of her generous offer out on the table). "No one would have to know that I'm your…" She left it in the air, nodding her head to one side.

(girlfriend, lover, mistress, dream of another life he could only hold onto for flitting moments)

John thought about it for a moment, then smiled. "You'd do that for her?" he asked.

"For her," Anna replied. "And for you. I know she's all you have anymore…"

"That's not true," John said quickly, his voice catching. "I have you, right?"

Anna beamed, her smile brightening his mood as well as the very room they were in.

(only he didn't catch the shadow that darkened her eyes)

cleanse.

"I've never been in a bathtub so large," Anna said with a groan as the warm water lapped at her shoulders. She giggled and took another sip of champagne before placing it on the ledge beside the tub.

John chuckled behind her, his chest reverberating deliciously against her back. "At least you're little enough that your entire body fits into a regular tub. I can't even get my knees under the water most of the time. I had a larger one put in at home so I can soak my knee."

Her finger traced the faded scars that marred his skin. Deep abrasions that obviously needed debriding, two surgical incisions, and one long and uneven laceration. She'd never asked, and he'd never told. She knew he had his good days and his bad, and that on bad ones, he often had to brace himself against a piece of furniture or a wall as he walked.

"Car accident," John blurted, surprising her. "Four, almost five years ago now."

Anna nodded and flattened her palm against the ball of his knee. "That's why you don't like to drive?" she asked.

He sighed and flexed his leg. "That, and I've never gotten used to driving on the other side of the road," he replied in a light tone, though she could feel his body grow tense behind her. "Vera was driving. She'd had too much to drink, and I'd had even more than that, and we were stupid and didn't call a cab. She ran us into a telephone pole. I ended up with this."

At the mention of John's wife, Anna's stomach recoiled. "You were lucky then," she whispered. "Stupid, yes, but lucky."

"I was lucky until I came to and found out that Vera had gotten off with barely a scratch and had left the scene," he continued, bitterness creeping into his voice. "I'd hit my head fairly hard, and in my stupor, I got out of the car and crawled around to the other side to check on her. The police found me slumped over beside the car and assumed I was driving."

"And she left you to it?" Anna asked incredulously, not believing what she was hearing. "Without a fight?" (chalk up another horrid thing to Vera)

"I took the fall for her because she had two prior convictions for driving while drunk. Her third offense would have had her in jail at worse or deported at best. I didn't want that to happen. I got a suspended license and a DUI on my record."

They sat in silence for some time after that before he spoke again. "We'd actually been having a good run together when it happened," he mused quietly. "I felt like there was a chance that we could rekindle things between us. But then she said some things to me while I was recovering. Not wanting to nurse a cripple and the like. She got nastier. Started drinking more. She started going out more, staying out late. I moved into the downstairs bedroom because it was easier than climbing the stairs. She stayed upstairs, when she was home at all. I got myself back on track on my own. When I got my license back, I decided to continue taking public transport and walking to work. It was mentally therapeutic, more so than the physical. It lets me clear my head every day. I'm still terrified of driving, though."

"Coming out to see me that time in Florida must have been torture," Anna snorted. (sweating and red-faced and trembling, and not just because he'd chanced upon her in the hotel lobby)

John laughed and tightened his arms around her. "I thought I'd piss my pants the entire way there," he said. "I ended up turning the car in at the local rental office and changing my flight home."

"It was a nice surprise," Anna said, leaning her head back against his shoulder and closing her eyes. "I liked seeing you that day, even though you went to a lot of trouble."

"It was worth it to see you, if only for a few precious moments," he replied, dipping his head to kiss the damp skin of her neck and as she remembered watching the sunset with him. "Our time together is so far between and I'd do anything for more of it." His hands roamed out of sight under the water, pressing and teasing and...

(oh god…)

Anna bit back a moan as she reached up behind her to stroke his neck. "Anything?" she whispered as she arched against him.

Instead of replying, he slid out from behind her and climbed out of the tub. His eyes were dark and even in the slight chill of the opulent bathroom, he was more than ready for her. Anna took his offered hand, and after a quick mutual rubdown with towels, he picked her up and carried her over to the bed.

(she made sure to bite her tongue when love came into her thoughts again)