Disclaimer: I own nothing of this except the narration. The characters and their universe all belong to their owners. I am not making money with this – I mean, come on it'd be ridiculous, right? … Please don't sue me, I'm properly returning the characters once I'm finished with them. Even give them butterbeer to make them feel better.

Rating: T, please read the warnings.

Blahblah: This is a PRE-SLASH eighth year (thus somehow AU) fanfiction ! I'm also very well aware that maybe not everyone would consider normal to have this sort of discussion with friends out in the open, but well... For the story's sake, just humor me.

As always, ffnet just throws away some of the way I am arranging the text, so I hope it'll turn out alright.

Also, the person in charge of proof reading my stories is currently unavailable, so any mistakes will be his fault anyway –happily throwing him under the bus-. Though, I do re-read my stories afew times after posting them and correcting what skipped past my previous mistakes' huntings. On with it!

Warnings : Mention of relationship between two males (Snarry), a tad bit of Teacher/Student kink. If you are not at ease with ANY of these topics, do NOT read.

The list

'The Headmaster's office?!'

The squeak made Severus Snape stop dead in his track. It was late October and still a bit unseasonably warm, so many students were still out in the fields to enjoy the warmth that would soon disappear to the oncoming cold wind that, when it whipped you, felt like knives running their blades on your face.

'Ron, shush, damnit!' Potter's voice. He would recognise it anywhere.

'Ouch! No need to hit me, 'Mione!'

'Yes, there was. Keep it down, Ronald.' She hissed.

Severus had been out to the Forbidden Forest to collect herbs for his potions' stocks when, walking back to the dungeons by the south entrance of Hogwarts, came upon the Golden Trio. Nobody ever was around the south entrance and this was exactly why Severus used it so often. He had to deal with the dunderheads enough on the weekdays without them having to spoil his weekends as well. Of course, he wouldn't be so lucky as to avoid the little menaces entirely, though so far, he made quite a decent job at not crossing path with them. Then again, Severus went specially out of his way to keep out of their way as much as possible, if not for their sakes, at least for his.

Somehow, it did not surprise him that the retribution for succeeding into not laying eyes on the pests for several weekends in a row was to stumble upon the students he wanted to avoid most. The eighth years... He sneered. Considering the events of the year before, the Ministry had seen fit to allow the students a choice to either graduate from Hogwarts with a letter that would explain why they did not have NEWTs scores, or -and that was, according to Severus, the most horrifying possibility of the two- to come back to finish their schooling properly as eighth years due to extraordinary circumstances. Granted there was a maniacal mad man set on ruling the Wizarding World like a despot that would have sooner rather than later, killed and butchered muggles and half-bloods alike, yes, that was extraordinary circumstances indeed. The Ministry of Magic still tried their hardest to downplay what happened and sweep it under the carpet. The only problem was people knew the truth for once (albeit not the entire truth for that would have raised quite a riot) and were not ready to forget about it so soon.

Maybe less than twenty students had elected to come back and it had just been Severus luck to find out the Golden Trio was among them. The Granger girl was not much of a surprise but seeing The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice-To-Annoy-Severus-To-His-Wits-Ends and his goofy red haired friend made him lift a finely defined brow at the first feast night when all students returned from their holidays. He would not have pegged them to be so serious about their studies. The Potter-Boy-Wonder-Saviour-Of-The-Wizarding-World-Blah-Blah-Blah could have either lived off his very comfortable wealth or gone into Auror Training with no one so much as breathing a word about his capacities in dealing with dark wizards and witches, and the Potion Master had gathered Weasley would have gone off to find employment or enrol in the Auror Program as well. Chances were, Ms. Granger had made good use of her natural authority and dragged the lazy youg men by the scruff of their necks back to school to graduate properly. Severus had had to held in a snort while visualising the brown haired girl with her fists on her hips, giving her friends a no-nonsense glare that she seemed to have picked up from her Head of House.

'But I mean... Really, Harry? The Headmaster's office? Mate, now this is just...'

Said glare dared him to finish his sentence and Ron Weasley chose to shut his mouth and raise his hands in a surrendering manner. Wiser than I would have thought, Severus mused. For that was the smart move indeed. Hermione's swats could really sting sometimes and his arm had already been assaulted once, there was no need of a repeat session.

'Anyway, Harry have you thought of the Great Hall? It could be an interesting place too...' The soft voice seemed to finish with a daydreaming note.

'Yep, also of some alcoves behind the tapestries.' At that, Severus saw Harry fidgeting a bit, running his hands in the grass where they sat. Thankfully the trio had their backs turned to the Potion Master and he had taken refuge in the shadow of the large trunk of the weeping willow near where they were sitting.

'Gryffindor Common Room?' Ron finally came out of his self-imposed silence with a grin.

'Ooh, I can definitely see that.' Seems the girl wasn't aware she had uttered this for all to hear as she quickly clasped her hand on her mouth, burrying her head in her drawn up knees.

'Oh you do see it, don't you 'Mione?' The teasing tone of the green eyed youngster aggravated the embarrassment of the young woman.

'Shut up, Harry. I did not mean it that way!'

'Unh-uh... Course you did not...' The singsong teasing voice rang clear in the deserted place as no students ventured where they were.

Laughter distracted the students while Severus had his mind reeling to figure out exactly what the infuriating Gryffindors were up to. Nothing good ever came out of these three having a brainstorming session over something. Severus tried to convince himself he had stopped to listen to their conversation because he was worried the dreaded students would do something incredibly stupid in the Headmaster's office -and he had stopped because of this at first- but truth to be told, he had stayed hidden there because he'd picked up Harry's voice. Somewhere along the path of Occlumency and fighting lessons the man had come to see Harry for who he was and not a copy of his old nemesis. Then a truce between the two was enacted, followed by trust and a rocky friendship. They were still stuck in an odd friendship as of now and Severus berated himself for wanting more. What he had passed off as lust in the beginning had well and truly evolved into love. Not an all-encompassing passion, stripping him of his sharp mind when in the same room as the younger one -Severus' pride would never allow it and he was not a hormonal teenager anymore-, but a sort of longing to have the boy near him, at arms length to ruffle his unruly locks and give him a smile from time to time. Oh no... Severus sighed as a cringe worked its way up his spine. This stupid unwanted sentimentality is nearly turning me into a Gryffindor. Then again, having him in close vicinity could also allow him to run his hand on the small of his back, make him shiver and mewl, tease and touch places he should not and eventually... There. Slytherin thinking was much better.

Though he admitted to himself that his reasons for eavesdropping on their conversation was also to be able to drink in the low and soft tones of Harry's voice, Severus was still a bit concerned as to what they were discussing. Exactly what scheme were they honing? What plot would they unfurl on Hogwarts, and what results could he expect from it? His past experience of living in a school with the Marauders and his extensive knowledge of all the pranks the Weasley Twins had played while studying here left him with some warriness when it came to this configuration of events.

A prank? Was that what this was about? Of course, the Golden Trio would want to finish their schooling with a bang. Of course, they would not let Severus have a year of tranquility because now that he was aware something was about to, quite possibly in a literal sense, blow in his face, he would not be able to relax and start to enjoy his time off as he will be busy worrying about what exactly the little pests were up to. Fantastic.

'There's always...' The girl chewed on her lip. 'There's always, and I swear if you so much as breathe a word of it to anyone, I will personnally hex you into next month and never help you with homework ever again this year...'

Gasps could be heard as the boys drew in their breaths at the threat and Severus smirked, this was one hell of a girl. Her threats were softly spoken in a calm voice and all the more dangerous that she knew they knew she would see them through if they did not submit to her will. How very Slytherin to play with others weaknesses and pressure points.

Satisfied with their reactions she continued, '… The Prefects Baths?'

Harry groaned. 'You'll be the death of me... I'm definitely adding this to the list.'

'She would have succeeded where skilled adults Death Eaters miserably failed. Let's be thankful Voldemort would have never recruited you, Hermione. Because with you at his side, I fear for what the world would have come to intelligence can be scary if put to the wrong ends.'

Were they finally dating, or was that compliment part of Weasley's courting ritual? Not that Severus had any interest in the answer but as a former spy he could not help but crave information. More so as a Slytherin. Knowledge was power and only a fool would think otherwise. Sure, this particular knowledge would not wield a lot of power but enough to embarrass and tease mercilessly the teenagers and that was enough in itself.

Now, why would a prank in the prefect's bathroom would be the death of Harry, that was a mystery. His musings were cut off as Weasley's voice met his ears again.

'So, what else is on that list of yours, mate?'

'Let's see...' Counting on his fingers, Harry rattled off, 'Alcoves... Hall... Common Room... There's Snape's personal lab. I heard Malfoy grumble something about scratching his perfect skin on the... How did he put it? Ha yes, the damn long and wide rugged work table made of thick wood. Needless to say it spiked my interest. And last but not least, the desk in the Potion Classroom.'

The last sentence was said while the Boy-Who-Lived hid his face in his hands. And now, that little war council of theirs, whatever plan they were talking about, that thing -whatever in Merlin's name it was- became personal. They were planning to clearly target some of his working spaces. And that was going too far. Having some twisted fun at the school expense was one thing, but involving him by targeting what he had come to consider his!? He would put a stop to this right now and make damn sure they would never want to even begin to think about scheming something ever again while at Hogwarts. About to stomp his way to where the youngsters were sitting, he halted himself when Weasley asked something.

'You want him to take you over his desk or over your desk?'

Wait a minute... What in Salazar's name..? This wasn't about a prank? Oh no, this was much, much worse. It was about defiling some of his properties?! He would never be teacher of the year, but this? Severus was hurt. First and foremost because if he knew he was not well liked, he at least thought the brats had some sort of respect for him since the end of the war. They might not be happy about this, it might be grudgingly given but it was deserved. He had earned the right to not be looked down upon, to not be so utterly toyed with, in this disgusting and cruel manner. Then there was the jealousy Severus did not want to think about too. Someone else putting his hands on his Harry? Taking him while on his furniture? The Potion Master thought not. That was enough.

'Is it really important? Snape will never see me that way.' Harry sobered from his embarrassment and dejectedly sighed.

For the third time that day, Severus stopped dead in his track and stood very still. What had he said? What had the little brat said? He must be misunderstanding. This, this, could not be happening. Harry returned his feelings? Had he knocked his head somewhere and was now allucinating? Disgruntled by these very thoughts, Severus let the conversation he'd wanted to stop continue.

'After we came to that understanding of sorts while I was training, I just gradually fell for him as we talked about things and stuff. We were civil to one another and I thought how nice it was to hear him talk without any disdain or hatred in his voice. His face was relaxed too and he just appeared to be very handsome when not scowling or busy being a git. Not dropping dead gorgeous, but he was exuding this undescribable charm and pheromones and... God, I'm pathetic. Longing for a man who probably see me as a bloody prat, the spawn of James Potter and godson of Sirius Black.'

'So why d'you come up with this list of places you wanted to have sex with him, then?' Avoiding a swat from Hermione, Ron continued. 'Not this time, 'Mione. I'm right and you know it. If he has done this, then he's got to have some sort of hope. Without it, this list is not amusing and kinky anymore, it's a tool to make him feel downright miserable.'

'Ron... Everyone needs hope once in a while. After this year, they'll probably only meet once a year at remembrance celebrations and that is assuming Professor Snape would attend those... Harry's just letting himself dream for what could be the last year seeing him so often.'

If Severus ever heard concern in people's voices it would have been now. Weasley seemed to have put his finger on something Potter had tried to willingly forget about. It also looked like the Granger girl was awfully perceptive with this teenage sentimental melodrama. Though a bit direct in their way of wording their worry for their friend, they clearly were concerned for him. Harry Potter had good friends, that much was obvious. Severus might not always like them -even though he would admit they fought valiantly in the Last Battle- but they valued their friend and it was a good thing to be reminded of that. This also confirmed for Severus that the Once-Bane-Of-His-Existence, the Potter Brat, at least desired him. Severus was not sure about love yet, though judging from Hermione's last words, the youngster's feelings for him might be just that. So Harry Potter loved him too? The Saviour actually loved his older Potion professor? Well, I'll be damned.

'This list...' started Harry in a somewhat sheepish voice while running his hand in his curly hair. 'This list is just a silly thing I came up with. It's not like I expect him to return my feelings and anyway he'll never know about those if I can help it. I plan on giving up on it as soon as graduation as come and passed. Leaving Hogwarts and leaving unwanted thoughts there as well. So until then...'

'Why? Why should he not know?' Indignation colored the red head's tone.

'C'mon Ron. The guy loved my mum. Probably still does to this day. It's okay to know when to give up.'

'And act like a coward, Harry?' Ron was angry with his best mate, now. 'Harry, There might not be much hope but you have to try somehow. Maybe not now seeing as there would be the whole year to live down after that but before school ends... It will be a hell of a lot better if you go off having told him how you feel. Facing him honestly. I might not entirely like the damn man, and sure I was so shocked when you opened up about it to me, but if anything, now that he doesn't have to be a bastard all the time, he's become at least decent. It'll be hard and terrorising and you will feel so weak you will hate yourself for displaying it in front of him...' He was ranting but his voice conveyed how angry with his friend he was right at the moment, looking him straight in the eyes. He added more softly. 'You will regret it if you do not tell him. Even if you never see the bugger for the rest of your life, you'll regret it. And I don't want you hurting for it more than need be.'

Silence was thick in the air surrounding the teenagers. Hermione was the first one to recover from the boy's rant. It was not often Ron displayed such insight and imparted it with wisdom, but this was heartfelt and she had to agree with him, glad he brought the subject up. It had been like an elephant in the room between the three of them ever since Harry shared his feelings with them not two weeks ago. It had been painful not to say anything but she did not want to appear unsupportive of his friend at the time and never commented on it until now.

'Ron's right, you know Harry? I understand what you said about choosing your battles, though this... Well, wouldn't it be like running away from it all? Being afraid of pain and rejection is fine, and we'll be there for you whatever the outcome of this discussion, but I honestly think it would be good for you to confront him about your feelings. I can't imagine Professor Snape being too bad about it but if it makes you feel better, why not do it in mid April? After that you'll be busy neck-deep with exams and assignments and hardly will have time to think about anything else, then we will be gone for good.'

From where he was, Severus had seen his student's jaw tightening and his fists painfully closing themselves while the young man allowed himself one shudder. From the looks of it, the boy had thought about confessing though he had elected not to, apparently in a misguided attempt to prevent any emotional harm to befall him. Closing one's feelings to not allow anyone to be able to hurt him for them was not an alien thought to the black-eyed man. After all, he had spent most of his life living by this method, safeguarding his heart and pride. However, the war had ended and there was no more need for such a painful behaviour to be relied upon as far as feelings were involved. Not for those young minds at least. Severus had been scarred by a life of hurting and self-deprecating thoughts and need to protect himself because it appeared to him no one else would do it for him. For Severus Snape, it had been a necessity.

Though he completely refused Harry would need this too. The boy was eighteen and had seen and lived through horrible things, more than most adults would be able to shoulder in an entire life, however he was not entitled to close himself off like that at such a young age. He was not allowed to deny himself only to have to live with himself and regrets the rest of his life. Those things ate you up, like acid attacking your core, disintegrating more of it little by little. Like a disease, it could be slowed down by some temporary happiness but never stopped. It just pried the seams of your mind apart and made the rest crumble slowly, your wits slipping away from you like trying to hold water in your hands. Willingly stomping down on your feelings, burying them deeply, only to almost never acknowledge them... This behaviour broke men, made them fall to pieces.

No... Severus hurt at the very idea of Harry slowly fading into nothingness. It hurt all the more that it was unnecessary as he shared his feelings. He would give him love, patience, reassurances and anything else he might wish for. He would hold the young man and protect him for as long as he would have him. There'd be arguments and fights, solely because they were both pig-headed at times, but they would work it out and have a great relationship.

Not Harry.

He had loved Lily Evans like a sister back then. He had deluded himself into thinking what he felt was the sort of love one would have for his partner. However years of mulling over his thoughts and memories allowed him to see it for what it truly was, love of a sibling. Lily had saved him from his father, saved him from himself to some extent too. She had been a bright spot of warmth and happiness, but even back then, Severus had been looking at his male friends with more interest than he did the girls. It just had taken him time to realise.

Never Him.

Deciding the whole masquerade had gone on long enough, Severus put a stop to it and slowly stepped out of the shade, and thus, letting himself be known to the youngsters. The Golden Trio froze the instant they caught a glimpse of the black robes. Harry had gone looking shocked to very pale and fearful of the man's reaction to what he might have overheard as he had no way of knowing since when he had been listening. He used a soft tone so as to not further frighten the young man he cared about and held his palms up to show he meant no harm.

'I do believe it would be good for you to tell me how you feel, Mr. Potter. Especially as you might find me returning your feelings. And I can assure you it would not in any way be because of your mother. She was an excellent friend to me, nothing less and nothing more.'

The brunette opened his mouth and closed it many times, searching for words that would not come. He was not even sure his voice could produce a sound right at that moment.

'I suggest you come to see me tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock so that we may have a talk together.' He nodded. Severus looked to Potter's friends, both had grabbed one of their friend's arms in silent support when he appeared. 'I trust you two will make sure he comes?'

The cat had gotten their tongues too as they only let their heads show their agreement. He approved of them not making any comment about what he'd just admitted. If possible, he would have avoided such a public display and told Harry when they would have been alone, though he'd realised if he did not gave the boy a little something to hang unto, to fuel his hopes up, he would probably flee the school this very night, never to be heard from ever again, too ashamed he had been overheard to show his head again at Hogwarts. The presence of his friends was a small sacrifice of his pride he was willing to let go of, as long as it enabled him to start something with the young man he had come to love. That, and they knew he had ways to make their lives worse than a living hell if they were to utter a single word of this to another living soul.

'I'll wait for you then, Harry.' His voice had been like sweet honey gliding down his body for Harry as the teacher imparted a small smile to the green-eyed student before turning on his heels. With that, the man walked away to his dungeons, leaving flabbergasted eighth years.

This year had just taken a turn for the better. He would see to reassure the boy in their meeting the day after. They would proceed slowly and take their time together, work hand in hand -quite literaly- to understand each other and go though their doubts and pasts problems, to build a healthy relationship. Severus was not a man for casual relationships if he was really interested in his partner, he poured his all into it and he suspected it might be quite the same for the Potter boy as well.

Perhaps we will be able to work on this list of his if all goes well after some time...

Indeed, the year had taken a turn for the better.

The End.

Now, I need to tell you all the bit of angst was not planned when I started this fix. It was supposed to be a nice OS with humour and fluff... It somehow got away from me, and I just left it because angst is fun to toy with. :)

Any thoughts on this oneshot? Was it nice, lacking in some ways or maybe too sweet to your liking? (I do not take any responsibility for cavities.) Please let me know! I am curious.

Also, should I write oneshots out of Harry's list? Some shameless smexy PWPs? To be clear, I am NOT promising anything here, just putting the idea out there. Do share your feelings with me about this. Until next time! x