One last time, One last time
You don't have to roll anymore now
So I said, so I said
He plays sounds of laughter into nothingness
Are you ready yet? I'm ready now
You must be so sick and tired of this
Don't stop your breathing
Right Now
He wasn't completely ready to start off this weird friendship with the awkward dolt that was Kageyama Tobio. The first times that the raven boy approached to him, Hinata nearly had a cardiac arrest. All his juice ended showered on Kageyama's incredulous face, he also rewarded the other boy with a slap on the head.
"The hell was that for?!"
"Stop sneaking on me you Idiot! You think that's the normal way to approach people?!"
"Who said there was a way to approach people?!"
"Haa? Don't you watch how others interact? I'm pretty sure that the appearing out of nowhere option hasn't gotten on the 'Social Interaction Manual' yet, be sure to read it and upgrade your skills before you scare people out of their skin"
Kageyama's cheeks turned pink "Dumbass, as if that book even existed, It's not my fault that you space out in inappropriate moments, your short attention span is the reason you'll die chocking on grape juice"
"I don't have a short attention span! I can concentrate pretty well!"
"You also make weird faces whenever your high on juice"
Hinata squinted his eyes "That's because I'm thinking moron, at least I don't look so dumb and scary whenever I drink from a milk box!"
At first glance, Hinata could see from other reference points how some people in the school saw Kageyama. Tall, scary, selfish, perfectionist, quiet and kind of broody. The humongous wings gave him more credit on the scary department. He had this plain face whenever he was calm, and a permanent scowl whenever he walked among the multitude.
But in reality, It didn't take more than two days, and a small chat on Volleyball to find out that the Tall Pompous-Scary-Faced raven was in reality a Socially Frustrated Childish Nerd. When he came to this realization he couldn't help the snickering, whenever he remembered he tried to suppress his laughter, even when he was near the other boy.
He also noted how Kageyama's eyes held no emotions the mayor part of the time he wasn't thinking or scowling. He noted how the upper feathers of his wings stood up when they walked on the crowded hallway when they returned to classes. He noted how difficult the raven found to properly talk when given the word, how quiet he stayed and itched to answer, but couldn't because he didn't knew how. He watched how his eyes sharpened whenever he talked with him about getting better at his Setting skills, on how his eyes shined with respect when he talked about the upperclassman Setter that the Volleyball club had. He also noted a eager glint on his eyes whenever he asked for his opinion on the matter of his skills.
Hinata gave him encouraging smiles, gave him his opinion, gave him the time to vent off his mind, he also gave him his laughter whenever he said something stupid, he gave him Hello's, and also See you Tomorrow's, he gave him what Hinata thought was supposed to be a friend.
Two weeks later, he finds the raven with a gauze on his left cheek and a cut lip, he was also pretty sure he saw a small purple circle on his right eye. Hinata stares at him, an incredulous look appears on his face, and he's pretty sure he's gaping.
"Hello" is what the other idiot says casually, as if having a beaten face was nothing
"Are you serious? You look like crap, and the proper thing you say to me is Hello?"
Kageyama frowns, and looks—incredibly enough—really clueless "Was there another thing I should have said to greet you?"
Hinata's face had a scandalous expression "An 'I could explain' could have worked at first, it's not like everyday you come and greet your beaten up friend like it's a casual thing. What in hell happened to you?"
"Isn't it obvious? I got into a fight"
Hinata rolled his eyes "And grass is green, idiot"
The tall boy scowled "There's nothing to tell, I got into a fight, and that's it"
Hinata speculated that the other boy was hiding something, he was pretty sure he was hiding something but he decided to let it lie there. He wasn't on deeper terms with the other boy to make him spill the beans in a matter of seconds. And it wasn't as if it was his business, he really couldn't do anything at all.
The ginger sighed "At least tell me that you didn't get in more trouble"
Here Kageyama paled, and his mood changed on a 180 turn. His scowling face softened, and he started to pout, remorse irradiated all around him "I got Banned from School Activities for a week"
It was Hinata's turn to go white and look really worried at the tall raven "But didn't you said that the Inter-High Preliminaries are next week?"
Kageyama covers his eyes with his right hand "Don't remind me" he says with a groan
"What do you plan to do, you big dork? I'm sure your Coach will skin you the moment he finds out"
"As if there was nothing else to worry about..."
They sit down in the hill near Building 3, the wind blows gently and it tickles a bit on Hinata's nape. The grass smells wet, and the clouds cover his blue Void, painting it gray instead. He hugs his knees, and stares ahead, his eyes falling on each window that he can count from building 3. His mind starts skimming over this stupid situation his Idiot of a friend got into.
He would probably never know what passed thought Kageyama's head that got him into this mess of a problem. The other guy told him how everyone was working hard on their training to make a kickstarter on the Preliminaries. One week left and Kageyama could lose condition, one week left, and he was more screwed than he already was.
His head spins around this case for a few more minutes, and then his eyes go blanc.
"Say..." He knows he's got the attention of the raven, his monotone voice being the only thing that pierces the silence "what'd ya think If I said that I got a solution for your big faux pas, would you be willing to take an offer?"
Kageyama eyes him suspiciously just for a bare moment before his eyes change completely to a desperate state.
Hinata grins "Would you like to train with me and my Ol' Man?"
Kageyama's look was priceless, an actual 'No words' expression plastered across the raven's face "Don't you have work to do?"
"I sued mom for ages to let me have a week off, I did extra rounds over the month and got us another sponsor. I really deserve an award for bursting mi legs off"
"Won't you burst them more if you train? I wouldn't want to ruin your free week"
"Suck it up, take the offer or go suffer, I do whatever I want with my time and If I want to spend it tiring my body helping you mend part of your stupid problem then I will do it so"
Hinata was sure he saw gratefulness in Kageyama's eyes
Taking this week off was totally worth it. Four hours of training on the small park near his house tolled on Kageyama completely. His face and reaction were priceless when Hinata Minato inspected him on the first day of training. He was really pale and some sweat rolled down his brow, his back was very rigid and his wings were very still.
"Maa, Shou, you said you were bringing a Hard Working player, why did you bring a beaten up Nerd to me?"
Kageyama spluttered at the comment, and Hinata started to laugh.
"What are you laughing at you idiot!?" barked Kageyama with a red face
"It took me two days to appreciate your Nerdness, dad did it in five minutes"
"I'm no Nerd!"
"We'll see that Kageyama-kun, we'll see that" was Minato's amused answer
Hinata's dad was not a miracle maker, he wasn't the greatest coach material because he barely remembers the mayor part of the drills and training stuff he had to endure when he was a High School student, his skill was slowly decaying with time spent at work tinkering with his mind and algorithms, but what he was really good at, was providing his knowledge in the areas that he exceeded in his 'All-Around' skill campus back then.
"I'll be frank with you, Kageyama-kun, I had more experience in two positions than in the mayor part of them, I wasn't perfect but I could help when we were short on people or when the situation demanded it. I would be lying If I told you that I got down and mastered all the important parts of playing Setter, but I will tell you this. From what I learned of it, is that you need to know each of your allies inside the court, you need to observe and find the perfect height, the perfect point where you can toss the ball for the player to hit it."
Hinata—despite being in the basketball court dribbling a ball—could hear clearly the 'Setter Sermon' of his dad, remembering the first time he got it when he went to see his second Volleyball match on a hot summer day a long time ago.
"Not all the players are the same, and none of 'em will respond with a decent or powerful spike where you think their hands can connect to the ball. None of 'em will respond in the same way I would if you tossed it a little lower for me to hit the ball, none of 'em will respond the same way that Shouyou likes to hit the ball." Hinata was sure his dad's eyes got into that 'Deep Mode' the moment he said the final phrase "The goal and duty of a Setter, Kageyama-kun, is to bring the fullest of potentials from all his Spikers"
Hinata moved swiftly, started to dribble faster the basketball and proceeded to try and dunk the ball. He was grateful for his jumping prowess, and the fact that his hand could grasp the ring of the board.
"Shouyou! Come here!"
The ginger landed, and took a moment to recover some of his breath. It was a matter of seconds before he was next to his dad. Kageyama stared at him.
"Tell me what you see"
Hinata frowned, and looked incredulously at his father
"A small person" was Kageyama's blunt answer
"Hey!"
"But do you know what this small person has to give? Do you know the power that hides behind this lithe body?"
Kageyama's eyes narrowed and shook his head.
"Go take your position, and prepare to receive" was Minato's order
Kageyama did so, and stood in the middle, his knees bending and ready in a blink of an eye. Minato's eyes changed at his son, and a mischievous glint sparkled on them.
"Left, right or middle?"
Hinata blinked, and stared to the net for a few seconds, his face split into a grin "Death Hanger" was his answer
It began with the ball bouncing between them, and the peace went fast after the third bounce. The older ginger got the ball, and extended his palms, his fingertips touching smoothly the round object and preparing to throw it at his child.
Hinata went immediately for it, to the right corner of the net, he jumped and readied his hand, his body arched perfectly, his air timing being the precise one and the ball on the perfect spot in time. His palm connected with the ball, and spiked it directly at Kageyama.
The other boy couldn't take it properly, and the ball made a painful noise when it connected with his forearms.
"Oooo! Did you see that! I finally hit it!" said excited Hinata, his grin spreading more across his face
"Did you just said Finally?!" asked Kageyama, his eyes wide in disbelief
"Yeess! You have no idea how hard it was to hit it on time! It was always too high or too low!"
The raven looked back incredulously at his trainer.
"I told you I wasn't an expert on this. But with this one, I've figured out how to Toss a proper 'Death Hanger' at Shouyou. I know he likes to hit them high at times, but in the dead center of the net is when he spikes the best ones"
Kageyama's eyes were trained back at Hinata, his wild grin never leaving his face.
"I won't promise things I cannot do, but within this week, I hope I can help you a little at figuring out when is the best time to toss" the raven's eyes sparkled "And also, I will try to correct your receives, that must have hurt"
Hinata's eyes widened and he immediately bowed down "S-Sorry!"
"And Shouyou has also told me about a little problem of yours" said Minato with a smile "I would like to teach you how to fly too, if you want"
Kageyama stared for a long time, and a very tiny smile appeared in his face "Thank you very much!" he said bowing down
"Y'know, your accuracy level is so scary, my Ol' man has been having nightmares since Friday, I'm pretty sure you broke his logic, are you sure you're not being drugged with some kind of super-serum or something?"
He was responded with a Milk Box being thrown at his head
It was Monday and tomorrow was the start of the Preliminaries, Kageyama's Ban ended today and he was really sure he was going to receive some kind of spartan punishment from his team.
"Where do you come up with those stupid things? I'm not being drugged dumbass, it just comes naturally to me, I can't find an explanation to why its so easy"
"Oh I do!" The raven's head snapped at him, Hinata inclined his head a little, his forehead barely touched Kageyama's "It's because you're a freaking alien! It all makes sense Kageyama-kun! Your eyes have some kind of special mechanism and whenever you lock 'em on the ball you do this weird 'Wam' and then the ball goes 'Whoosh' and your brain makes a 'Daaa' and all just clicks! Care to share when you were abducted?"
Kageyama leaned to strangle the other guy, the ginger fought against the large hands of the other boy while laughing to his heart content, snarky comments flew away from the raven's mouth, Hinata ignored them all.
He wasn't sure how they ended like this, Kageyama was on top of him, his hands locking his arms on both of his sides, his breathing was heavy and his heart stopped when he saw a weird small smile gracing Kageyama's face.
Only knowing him for three weeks, Hinata had figured out a 50% of this Awkward Idiot. He knew that smiling was a really hard thing the other boy could do—'Jeez, you have a scary face', 'I was born with this face you Idiot!'—smirking was the closest Kageyama could get to imitate a proper smile, but this, this right infront of him, was a progress.
He stared with big eyes at Kageyama
"You are an Idiot" said the raven
Hinata grinned "And you a Moron, but who would you be if you weren't?"
Kageyama laughed, and Hinata's breathing stopped for a moment before he joined him.
"Are you sure you don't want to come and watch?" asked Kageyama while they walked to the Gym
Hinata shook his head "I'm sorry, but I have to stay here, this place doesn't have a TV with decent signal and it's not like I can go with you, I'm not even in your club"
"I told you once, join us, you and I work really great, Imagine the things we could do if you played with us"
Hinata stopped, and so did Kageyama when he noticed that he wasn't being followed.
Imagine, imagine, imagine, imagine. Three days is what it took to hit the most perfect of spikes he could ever ask for. Variations could follow in the process of weeks, even months. Hinata was conscious of the potential he could achieve with Kageyama. They could become unstoppable.
But that was only a fantasy, because Hinata's eyes moved slightly to notice how the Volleyball team was making their way down from the Lockers to the Gym. And after thinking of it again, all those hopes and wishes came crumbling down when the treat of his sanity came back to bite him.
People, what would this people think of him? What would this people say of him? What would other people say about him?
You don't belong here
What are you doing here?
You are a small disgusting thing
Where are your wings?
Why don't you have wings?
freak
Freak
Freak
FREAK
"I... don't think I could..." was his quiet answer
Kageyama narrowed his eyes "Yes you could... you're thinking of them aren't you? You're thinking about what people would say"
Hinata shivered when he heard the hard tone in Kageyama's voice, the ginger nodded
"They won't say anything Hinata"
"You just don't know, I'm still afraid Kageyama." Hinata saw how Kageyama balled his hands into fists "For the moment... you can't do anything, I... I really think I need more time, I need to feel sure if I can do it"
"What do I have to do?" the ginger's eyes widened when the raven spoke
"You don't have to do anything, this is a thing I have to do on my own"
"No you don't"
"It is!"
Hinata's voice resonated, and Kageyama's feathers stilled.
I'm afraid, what would happen? I don't belong here, I wouldn't. I'm not ready, I don't think I would be ready. I need a reason. I need a real reason. I want to stop Rolling with this, I want to walk, I need to move. But I can't, I just can't.
Hinata was interrupted from his trance when he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders. His brown eyes collided with an opposite color.
"You don't"
The ginger felt how cold the air was, his calves felt cold, his knee pads felt tight, and his neck started to prick a little. His eyes never left from Kageyama's
"You really want me to join don't you?"
A hard nod with hard eyes. Hinata wanted to avoid this, he really wanted to avoid all the reasons to let go and abandon this, he really wanted to let go of this small hope of running away from his fears. He wanted to think about it, he needed more time.
"Then win" Kageyama's eyes softened "You and your team, win the Preliminaries, show me Kageyama-san, that you really want me to join. If you do so, you have me, but if you don't... keep praying for a miracle, because so far I won't change my mind"
He got free from the grip, and turned back, he caught a glimpse of the whole Volleyball team watching him. He gave them his back, and smiled in amusement.
"Don't you dare to loose your frickin' head you damn Pigeon, I don't want to hear that you to lost it. If you want me, then fight, you have your allies, and you don't have to do this alone. Seek for their help, and get rid of that tainted crown 'King of the Court'!"
He felt like crying, he felt like breaking something, he felt like burning the whole world with the most smallest match. His body hurt, and his rolling feet carried him to the nearest place he could go. Two days had passed since he last saw Kageyama, he knew that the first two matches were won. The 'Iron Wall' had been penetrated, his dad told him. If they won today's game, they were going directly to the final round. And then he would completely lose it.
Part of him wanted the Volleyball team to win, maybe, just maybe... this was his chance. But the other one wanted the team to lose. Because he really wasn't ready to experience the amount of eyes on him, to experience something that was planned to go like it had just moments ago.
He entered the back of the place, and greeted the tall bulky man. He received a nod, and made his way to the right side of the counter near the bar.
"Ah! Shou-kun!" Hinata gave a small smile when he heard the sweet gentle voice of old lady Izumo "Here, here, take a seat"
"Thanks for having me Baa-san" he said quietly
The old lady noticed his fallen demeanor, and went behind the counter to take a seat. "You don't look so bright Shou-kun, has the delivering been so rough on you this week?"
Hinata shook his head, and his memory replayed what happened just moments ago. He started to tremble "Baa-san I... I want to disappear" he said with a tiny voice
Small wrinkled hands fell gently over his "Shouyou... what happened?"
A tear rolled down and he let it go, he slowly let it go "My greatest fear became real..." he felt a grip on his hand, and his eyes looked at the concerned ones of Granny Izumo, go on. "I... I played, with some other guys, they were short on a person, and I—I asked if I could join..."
"That's... wonderful Shou-kun..."
"No it isn't! My team won, I-I helped with the mayor part of the points, It's been so long since I've played Basketball with more people. A—And I-I-I just..." he took a deep breath, more tears rolled down his cheeks "It happened, after we won the other guys started to say things. They started to blame me, they said I was the reason that made them lose, they said that I was an unfair weight and then they started to say things to me... they said that I didn't belong there..."
"Shou-kun, you musn't believe what they said, you know it's not true"
"It's not that... I... I thought about another thing when they started to say that to me... And I felt really worthless... I—I thought about... a stupid thing I said the other day..."
The old lady rose an eyebrow
"I said the most stupid thing to my friend, It fell on me on the last moment that I kind of challenged him... And I'm scared Baa-san... because if he does win against my conditions I will crumble down to the point of choking"
"Why?"
"Because I'm afraid something like this can happen if he wins. I can become an unfair burden, I will become a disappointment and people will burn down what's left of my hopes... Sometimes, I just wish that I could destroy everything, I wish I didn't have to worry about things like this..."
"Shou-kun, please don't give up" Hinata locked eyes again with the old lady "You have to ignore them, you cannot leave your hopes lying on the ground"
"I'm pretty much stuck on the ground..."
"Still! You will see that there are people who won't say anything bad about you, you know that there are people like this, very few I know, but they are there nonetheless. Take Mamiko-chan for example, or Fushida-kun, they don't think of you as something strange. They think and see you as a normal person. They see you as something great! ... Think of your friend Shouyou, I'm sure your friend doesn't care what you are"
"It's because he's an Idiot..."
"It's because he sees you differently as other do"
Hinata averted his eyes, and looked down "People are disgusting..."
He heard small noises on the back side of the wall behind him, he smelled Granny Izumo's Apple Curry and some Special Meat Bombs, he felt how his insides started to crack, and how he stilled when he understood that they were being heard by whoever was on the other side of the wall. His body started to tremble and his nose started to run down some snot.
"You yourself shouldn't feel disgusting at the eyes of other people" wrinkled hands moved to cup his face, his brown eyes connected with the old lady's black ones, and more salty tears rolled down from them "You are far better than they think, you will see that your time will come, you are a piece of sun and you soon will find people that will value you for the way you shine"
Izumo smiled warmly, and Hinata trembled in appreciation
"But for that to happen, you have to accept yourself first Shou-kun"
Work tolled on him on the next month, he avoided Kageyama on the small time the two spent together at school. Their business took another direction and it slowly started to expand, a local store decided to sponsor their product, and Hinata found himself smashing more than eight boxes of strawberries on the weekends. His deliveries became more frequent than he ever hoped they could get, never in his life had his legs ached for so long.
He stopped abruptly when Exam Week was so close to starting. He was completely grateful he could get a little bit of rest. What he was not grateful for tho, was when he got himself a full load of Kageyama's presence after the first break bell. The ginger felt like throwing himself to the window.
"Where have you been?" was Kageyama's bold starter words
"In hell apparently, you need something?"
Hinata prayed that Kageyama didn't bring up a conversation that had to do with joining the team. As far as he knew the school lost against Seijo. He felt like Kageyama would find another way to convince him, or maybe bring up another challenge to prove himself.
None of his speculations came to light, instead Kageyama pouted and avoided his eyes, he was sure he saw the other blush.
"I need your help" he said with a grumpy tone
"If this goes along the lines of machine or money, then no, I've got better things to do than helping you survive your lactose fetish"
The raven glared at him "Milk is good for your bones, maybe that's the reason why you're still a midget and haven't passed from 1.50"
Hinata turned pink and countered "I'm 1.62 you dick, at least I'm not tall and scary!"
"I'm not scary!"
"Have you seen your face lately?"
"There's nothing wrong with it!"
"You have a scowl all day, I'm starting to speculate that you wear it 24/7"
"I don't scowl, this is how I look!"
"My point still stands"
Kageyama covered his face with his hands, his elbows connected with Hinata's desk. "Look, I need your help with my studies"
The ginger narrowed his eyebrows "You need my help, with studying?"
"Didn't you heard me? Why do you think I'm here?"
"To make my existence a little harder"
Kageyama groaned "Look, there's a Summer Training Camp around the corner, and Exams start next week and... the requirement to attend is to have approving marks"
"Please tell me that you're not failing all your assignments" Kageyama's face told him everything "Oh my God"
Hinata was no genius, nor he was intelligent to the point of Perfect Student, but he had decent marks, he excelled on two signatures and the rest were just average. He was glad he didn't have to go to Cram School on summers. He really couldn't lose his time rotting his head while he had a job that needed to be done.
"Other people are helping me, I'm not asking you to do it with every single subject but... Ishino-sensei told me that you had the top mark on Biology"
Damn, sometimes he wished Biology wasn't so easy. He was this close from telling the other boy to drop dead. But those blue eyes did the trick of punching down his ass mannerism. This guy really wanted to go—this guy had a goal—and like Hinata, he wanted to apply the 'No time for this' action campaign. Kageyama couldn't lose his time cramming his head here if he wanted something. He too had a job to do.
The ginger sighed and laid back in his chair "Fine, I'll help you, but after this I want you to do your best in school, you hear me? So next time you have something like a Camp or a Cup you don't have to lay your restricted ass here on school. You don't have the time to be here and sulk away your problems"
"I promise" said the raven
"I also don't want to be responsible for your dumb butt whenever finals come, so you better put attention to every single thing I say, you hear me!?"
"Yes!"
"Fine, now get out of here, we start tomorrow. I need a free week if I want to stuff your head with Cells and Fungus"
The free week permission was granted more easily than he bargained for, he heard his mom muttering very giddishly something about 'Miracles' and 'Relationships'. The tutoring took place on lunch breaks and on a borrowed hour of Kageyama's Volleyball afternoon practice. The free time that he had left was spent on the near Basketball court and shopping some sweets and meat buns. He also did a re-cap of the things he was going to teach to his friend.
His friend. Never in his short life would he have thought that he would use that word. He would never have thought that he would get attached to another person that wasn't on his family circle. He would never have thought that he would be helping another person with his problems, even if before starting their friendship he said he would never do it.
Hinata didn't understand why he was doing this. He could be doing better things, like... Like what? His life didn't expand away from going to school, working and spending his time rolling. Man, his life sucked. Now that he thought about it, never in his life had he ever agreed to tutor someone, never in his life did he agree like it was nothing to help someone.
The reason was simple, no one dared or cared to bat and eye on him. Hinata for a long time was kind of grateful of that, he didn't have to handle people that would give him cold shoulders and ignore him. But slowly he felt very lonely. He felt like he would always be by himself for all his life. His attempts to make a friend always went crumbling down the hill, and he completely gave up when he realized nobody would ever care about him.
"Sorry, I'm late"
But then this idiot appeared. He appeared from thin air holding his goggles and asking for owed favors. He didn't knew what he had done to win this person's interest, if this tie with him would last for a while, or if at some point it would brake and he would be left alone.
Kageyama took the seat that was in front of him. There was sweat in his brow, and his jacket was slightly zipped-up. Hinata's hand started to play with the pencil he was holding, and stared a little more to the other boy.
"Yes you are, I've been waiting for you for the last 20 minutes. If I don't arrive home for dinner then you will burn with my hunger."
The raven looked very apologetic, his blue eyes went down "Sorry..."
Hinata snorted "Jeez, if people knew how soft you are they would take advantage of you, thank goodness that I'm the only who knows that you're a big kid"
"Hey! I'm no kid, I'm sorry If I didn't make it in time and made you lose some"
"You made me lose all my time when you told me you needed tutoring to mend your dumb grades"
Okay, now he started to think that the reason he didn't have friends in the first place was because he was very rude. It was maybe a defense mechanism or something? Act-react thing? People were rude to him, was it natural to respond with being rude too?
Kageyama looked now guilty, and his vibe was passing to Hinata too.
"I remember you said that even if you had to help me, you wouldn't do it at all. I could... just go and ask another person to do it, if it really bothers you..."
"No!" he said really loudly, Kageyama looked very surprised, and Hinata was sure he was very red "I'm sorry If I'm being rude, but this is new to me, I've never been asked to tutor someone, I've never thought that someone would need my help. I guess I would gladly do it because it's the right thing to do, a-a-and I guess I-I-It's because I-I... want some attention"
Hinata felt his face burn, the raven only stared
"But you—"
"Forget what I said that day, okay? It never crossed my head that I would get attached to you very quickly, It never crossed my head that I would be very happy to be with someone so dumb and great like you. It never crossed to me that I needed company so badly, and now I'm pretty sure you think that I'm selfish. But... I'm kind of happy that I can take and spend my time with you, because sometimes I don't know what to do with it"
Kageyama was now gaping at him, and the ginger wanted nothing more than to dig a hole and bury himself in it. Maybe the earth would swallow him and save him form this embarrassment.
"Then I'm glad!" the ginger felt how his heart stopped "I'm glad because I think the same!"
Both of them had burning heads, but Hinata then grinned, and Kageyama's eyes sparkled.
They decided to use what remained of time to progress with the content that needed to be studied. They did the same in what remained of the week. Hinata's mom always asked his son whenever he returned home how his 'Study Date' had gone. He ignored her and went to his room with a beat red face.
Three weeks later he finds himself in Saitama with six of the best players that Ookamiori High ever had. His dad dragged him to Kanto against his will, and made him pack for three days in less than ten minutes. Business aside, turns out his father was going to have a friendly reunion match with his former teammates and some players from Jadani High.
"It's the Clash of Survival, Wolves against Snakes, the hunter against it's pray. To live or be eaten. To be eaten or to kill. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity Shouyou!"
"Didn't you said we were going to get the Alchemical permission?"
"We can do that the next day, what's important, my son, is that you will see your boss Rock n' Roll again on his position as Libero!"
"More like you will roll on a rock after not playing for so long"
"So mean Shou!"
That brings us here, with Hinata rolling on his way with a bag of watter bottles on a fairly crowded University Gym. He sets his package on the bench and proceeds to sit. His eyes travel to the court at the opposite team, dressed in different green shirts. His dad's team is dressed in variants of gray, his Ol' Man sticks like a sore thumb with his yellow shirt.
The game starts, and Hinata only watches the slow peace it takes. His eyes never leave the ball, nor each player's movements. His ears ring with each spike, blocking and thumping the ball makes whenever it makes contact with skin or the floor. Sooner than later the first set ends, Former Jadani taking the lead.
Hinata hands the water bottles to the older men, and proceeds to stand up on his skates and leave some space for the elders to sit.
"Crap..." mutters one of the bunch
"What is it Hakuro?"
"It's an emergency, I need to go" said the man with his phone in hand
One spits his water and looks really scandalized "But you can't go! We're only seven!"
"I can stop playing Libero and substitute him Hyuuga, It's not like the world will end" said Minato
"Hell no! With you playing as Libero we've got our defense at its max! If Hakuro goes, part of our attack power will decrease. We need a substitute"
Hinata felt the hairs of his neck prickle when he felt a pair of burning eyes on him. OH NO
"Sooo... can my son play as Hakuro's replacement?"
The smaller ginger felt like dropping dead right there. All eyes were on him, the judging stares present like everytime he was introduced to someone.
"What can you do Chibi-Hina?"
"Um... I'm good with receives, and I can jump pretty high!" he said with a straight back and a nervous face
"He's fast! He has sharp senses and can play Middle Blocker!" added his father
"Do you have a change or something? You can't play in Roller Skates Chibi-san!"
He was glad he was wearing his dark gray stripped shirt, unfortunately he left his shoes on the Hotel room with his other belongings, Hakuro had to lend him his' and Minato was left in charge to return them back when all of this ended.
The submission of player took a little of time from the second set, but when everything was ready and he stepped a foot inside the court, Hinata could feel all the eyes on him, stares, stares, stares, stares. He got ready on his position, but he was pretty sure he was trembling, his breathing was turning a little forced and he looked everywhere to look assured that he was going to be okay, that he wasn't going to screw up, that he wasn't going to disappoint and be thrown away form here. He wanted to cry then and there.
He felt a hand on his left shoulder, and his eyes darted to the bespectacled man next to him.
"We're not going to judge you Shouyou-san, please bear with us and lend us your help in this"
His trembling stopped, and he could breath again.
This set, however, went very fast and everyone got fired up the moment Hinata hit a toss that seemed impossible to do, because there's a tiny wingless person flying right up on their noses and they couldn't do anything against that spike. The green clad players looked at him in disbelief while his dad and the gray players started to howl—literally—in celebration.
Lot's of points were taken and recovered, all the other side of the Former Jadani was very disquiet the moment the front row got fooled with Hinata's speed. He could feel the fire burning inside the court, and he didn't know if this feeling was terrifying or pleasant. His blocking skills were average, and he teamed up with his dad when the older man tossed to him on the air, Former Ookamiori countered with another thundering spike.
The second set goes in their favor, and they win the last one the moment nobody seems to get an impossible falling ball. Hinata saved all their asses the moment he reacts in instinct and goes all the way down until his legs make a perfect split, his body goes forward, and his palm saves the ball that bounces back on air. Hyuuga hits it when the bespectacled Setter tosses it at him.
Marker ends (1:2) Former Ookamiori winning the Clash of Survival. Hinata lays on the floor for a little longer, and Hyuuga is the one who comes and helps him up from the floor.
"That was amazing Shou-kun! Your dad's Libero skills rest beneath your genes after all! You were really incredible, I never thought I would get fired up again after a long time!"
The rest of the team comes to praise him, and little tears trail down his cheeks, the moment they end the match by greeting thanks to the other team is when he looses it. They shake hands with the opponent team, and in the end, the scary looking player from the other side towers over him. He notices that one of his caramel wings is shorter, but that doesn't take away the spooky atmosphere that surrounds this man.
He stretches his hand, and his eyes shine with respect. Hinata takes it immediately.
"I'm sorry" says the older man
"E-eh? Why?"
"I misjudged you the moment you entered to play... And I'm sorry for it. You play really great. And I wouldn't doubt it twice If I ever were to play against you again"
Hinata started to tremble, and his hand felt hot, but the other man didn't let go yet
"You just showed me that you need no wings to fly high, I will look forward to watch you play with your team"
Tears now are going down Hinata's eyes, and the older man now panics when he hears small sobs coming from the ginger.
"I'm sorry to disappoint... but I have no team... I would never be accepted in one..."
"Yes you will" says the man while his bigger wing ruffles behind him "I believe you will"
Hinata let's go of the grip and takes two steps back, his eyes sting, his body won't stop trembling, he wants to leave from here.
"Thank you"
He ran away.
"Wait! Shouyou!"
You have a lot of potential in everything
You will see that there are people who won't say anything bad about you
You have determination, you are clever, and nice
You have a chance too
You are far better than they think
You intrigue me because I can't understand you
You will see that your time will come
You could do anything, yet you are the reason you can't accept what you can do
PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING
I traded what makes you a normal person in the eyes of others for the right to live
Never come and spat me on the face your stupid things about being worthless and pathetic
This is a thing I have to do on my own
You and I work really great, Imagine the things we could do
Do on my own
You're thinking of them aren't you? You're thinking about what people would say
On my own
They won't say anything Hinata
They don't think of you as something strange
People, people are the reason why I can't step forward
They think and see you as a normal person
"The nobody that can see beyond the Different"
They see you as something great!
"Can I change that to someone?"
DISGUSTING
I've learned to Roll with it, Rolling is the only thing I can do
You Know Nothing
You will see that your time will come
"But do you know what this small person has to give?"
Think of your friend Shouyou
Join the Volleyball club
I'm sure your friend doesn't care what you are
"I may not know you very well, but I would like to"
Do you know the power that hides behind this lithe body?
Rolling, Rolling, Rolling, Rolling, Rolling
You were really incredible
You just showed me that you need no wings to fly high
I misjudged you
I could... just go and ask another person to do it
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP
If it really bothers you
I can become an unfair burden
You cannot leave your hopes lying on the ground
I will crumble down to the point of choking
You have to ignore them
I'M DISGUSTING
I will look forward to watch you play
I will become a disappointment
You are a piece of sun
"I've heard he has no friends"
"You know how people call him?"
People will burn down what's left of my hopes
"What a pity, I bet he wants to kill himself"
Rolling Boy
What do I have to do?
I believe you will
And I'm sorry for that
We're not going to judge you
"You soon will find people that will value you for the way you shine"
Please bear with us and lend us your help in this
I'M AN IDIOT
It never crossed my head that I would get attached to you very quickly
"I'm sorry"
It never crossed my head that I would be very happy to be with someone so dumb and great like you
I'm glad because I think the same!
You yourself shouldn't feel disgusting at the eyes of other people
"I don't think you're pathetic"
You have to Accept yourself First
One week passes, and he's now lying on the hill near his home. He and his dad made a silent agreement to never bring up the thing that happened after he ran away from the gym.
"Remember that I will be here if you want to talk about it"
In all honesty, he didn't know If he really wanted to. He didn't know what he wanted to do now. What he was supposed to do now. He still felt insecure, but with what happened on that moment between him and the looming man left Hinata breaking down. Because he wasn't expecting that, the pity, the disgust, the judging stare. It was not there. It never was there.
It was too good to be true. He was misjudged, and the man apologized.
No one had ever done that. No one had ever apologized for making that mistake. Hinata really didn't know what to make of that. He believed that he would continue crossing the road that he knew so well. It turned out that everything had been changed completely at one point. He realized this when it downed on him who was the responsible that broke this cycle that he was accustomed to.
"So you are here"
Kegeyama Tobio
"And what if I'm so? Where the hell did you come from?"
"My house" the 'obviously' remained unspoken
"How did you know I was here?"
"I... had a hunch... that and your mom told me you weren't home"
"Give it to mom to tell people my whereabouts..."
Kageyama sat next to him, he heard the feathers of his wings rustle gently with his movements. They stayed like that for a little while, there was no wind currents at the moment, his blue void was slowly darkening, the cries of twilight adorning the ceiling. The summer heat tho, was present, and warmed the both of them to the core, it wasn't unpleasant at all.
"You were amazing at the match in Saitama"
Hinata felt how every vibe of life escaped from his body the moment those words escaped from Kageyama's stupid mouth.
"You were there?" he asked with a hoarse voice
"Yeah, Training Camp was actually held there. Also, Th-thanks... for the tutoring, I didn't have to stay for Cram School at the end"
"How come you were there?"
"We were doing our usual training, and then Coach Nekomata said that the training of the day gets postponed for once. Later we're taken to a public Gym and we're told that we're going to watch an old classic fight. Something more intense than a Battle of the Trash Heap"
Hinata snorted "Clash of Survival, the hunter against the pray, the Wolves against the Snakes"
"You leaved a groundbreaking impression on the other teams we stayed with"
Hinata covered his face "Oh god..."
"You have now more credit that you could ever ask to get inside the team Hinata"
"I'm pretty sure it all burned down the moment I ran away to have my Meltdown"
The ginger heard a 'snap' and his whole body tensed now, oh no... he said something wrong
"A Meltdown..." Kageyama's voice was hard, he heard something rustle "What did that man said that made you break down?"
Hinata was pretty sure the other boy was angry, he wasn't sure why, but somehow he was terrified
"Hinata"
That sounded as a warning, what was happening? Why did Kageyama's voice sound angry? What had he done to make the raven angry.
"Hinata"
Kageyama saw everything, from the moment Hakuro left the Gym, to the moment he stepped inside the court, to the one where he spiked that impossible ball, to the last one where he saved the game. He stayed until the end. He stayed until the moment he was left a crying mess and had to flee before he shattered to pieces.
"Shouyou!"
He said others saw, there were more people who saw how he changed faster that a TV channel. From bright colors to a mess of static in less than five minutes. What a great first impression, what a great presentation, what a great show.
How utterly disgusting
He wasn't sure when or how it happened, but he was being held. He felt arms around his body in a strong grip, holding him like he needed to be. His arms did the same, and settled down on the lower part of the humongous body. Something was covering him because he saw black. All he saw at the moment was black.
He realized he was crying when he felt how hard breathing was becoming. How his throat felt dry, how his eyes itched with the salty tears that made their way down his face. His noes was now starting to run snot. He was really sure he looked like a hideous mess.
He then screamed.
He screamed and let everything out. His trembling body was nearly giving away, but he couldn't afford that, he really wanted this to finish, he wanted all this confusion, all this pain, all this pity, disgust, hatred, all this misery to go away. He wanted all of this to end, he wanted to be normal, he wanted to burn all his cares, he wanted to drown all his fears.
He wanted everything of this to end.
His sore throat throbs, he starts hiccuping, and his grip never loosens from the strong body he's holding.
He feels a hand on the center of his back, pressing against the soft fabric where his scars are. His whole body stills, because it's a foreign feeling, because no one—not even his family—had touched his back like that for a long long time.
"I..." he says with a small voice
"It's alright..."
Hinata then registers that it was Kageyama all along. He had another episode, and Kageyama was the one that held him while he went through it.
"I'm sorry..." he said, small tear droplets coming out from his puffy eyes "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
The hand on his back shifts for a small moment, as if hesitating on something. It then moves slowly to the nape of his neck to his head. Kageyama gently pulls his head, and blue eyes clash with brown.
"Please... d-don't be sorry, p-please don't cry..." he feels how their foreheads touch, and Hinata starts to feel sleepy "You must be tired..."
"I'm tired of everything" he says with a quiet voice "I'm so tired of Rolling"
"Then stop... you can stop now..."
"There's no one who can help me..."
"I'm here"
He then feels something soft against his lips. It feels so tender and warm, it feels like nothing else than comfort. You can rest now, you no longer have to be alone. You no longer have to feel bad about you, you no longer have to care about others.
You don't have to Roll any more
It then goes away, slowly. And Hinata now stares at Kageyama. His dull eyes sparkle, and he's not wearing his scowl. His expression is calm, concerned, worried. He feels warm, and he doesn't want to let go.
He manages to give a small smile.
"I guess you are... Moron"
Kageyama laughs softly, and Hinata slowly drowns in the sound.
I hate that this site only has middle and left place when it comes to text, in AO3 the Breakdown text looks more decent and it's more pleasing to read. Hope you Enjoyed
~Ai Link