*gasps* My first story isn't angst-y! Wow! (Though the other one I publish today will be x3) Anyway, I got inspiration for this story when I looked at an image of Yugi cuddling a cat and Yami glaring at it in 'jealousy'. The moment I find it again, I'll make it the cover of the story. If I can't find it I'll just find a substitute.

Warning(s): Eh, later throughout the story there'll be some swearing and stuff, but obviously nothing much. Nothing that doesn't go over T. xD I might throw in a few sex jokes if I feel idiotic enough. Also, English ain't my native language. Japanese is, so be nice if you see grammar or spelling mistakes. I can't help it.

Pairing: Puzzleshipping, and mentions of various other pairings, though none will be heavily featured aside from Puzzleshipping, and even that won't be 'intensely shown' because this is a humor-fic and it isn't really supposed to be serious. At all. Period.

Summary: Yugi finally gets a pet! He decides on a black cat and names it Yami after his other self. But, what happens when both the feline and the human Yami go toe to toe for Yugi's affections?

Written by: Cloud Avalon.

Final notes: I really don't want any reviews whining about how Yami doesn't have a body and shit. There are thousands of fics that have Yami in his own body, so why are you hating on this one? ;-; Seriously though, no hate on that people. This is a humor fic. I don't wanna go through the pain of having to think up how Yami has his own body just for a fic that won't be more than 10 chapters most likely.

Enjoy my lovelies, enjoy!

"You sure about a pet, Yugi?" Yami asked with hesitance as they exited the boy's 'house' (aka the Game Shop).

"Of course!" Yugi replied cheerily, his wide eyes shining with joy. "I've always wanted one, and Grandpa says that as long as I take care of it I can have it. Then he mumbled something about already me already having one, but I don't know what he means. I don't have a pet at the moment."

Yami coughed, assuming the old man was referring to him, but said nothing on the matter. Instead, he decided to ask what animal it was going to be and what Yugi planned to name it.

"Maybe a cat." The spiky-haired youth responded, shrugging. "They're nice."

"They remind me of Bakura." Yami grumbled under his breath, narrowing his eyes at the mere thought of the smirking thief. Even when he wasn't present, the very image of Bakura got on his nerves. He was that annoying!

"Why?" Yugi questioned, his tone hinting he was quite amused by the situation. Then he rolled his eyes and smiled. "What if I got a cat but named it Yami?"

"That would be..." Yami paused, wondering if this word should come from his mouth. It made him sound odd, after all. But, he was only around his hikari, so it didn't matter. "...interesting."

"Alright, 'Yami the cat' it is!" The younger replied cheerfully. "I'm sure he'll be the best pet ever!"

About an hour later, Yugi was reconsidering that. Maybe this cat wasn't so great. Sure, Yami the 'human being' was great, but the cat version was quite rowdy. He acted as if he was some king, and did something akin to a strut around the house. He even jumped on Yami's head and clung to it until Yugi pried him off.

"Maybe we should cage it." Yami said quietly, not wanting to upset the rather sensitive animal that was strutting a few feet away from them. It looked angry for no apparent reason, which was why he were avoiding it.

"It's a him, Yami, not an it." Yugi corrected as he tried to coax the cat into his arms, planning to lock him in his own room after he'd 'captured it in his grasp' before his grandfather got home.

"We need an exterminator." The Pharaoh remarked, eying the cat with narrowed eyes. The cat only glared back, as if saying, 'bring it you idiot. I'm not afraid of you or your little twin'.

"That's for bugs." Yugi replied with a sigh, just now remembering that his mou hitori no boku (1) was quite new to the modern world. "Besides, we wouldn't want to kill Yami, would we?"

"It depends on which Yami you're referring to."

Yugi eyed his other self for a good five minutes before turning back to the cat, which had miraculously not moved during that period of time. It was still starring at Yugi with its odd green eyes of doom that had a glimmer of blood lust (in Yami's opinion) in them.

So far, the only damage the cat had currently caused was knocking over a mere ten glasses (why they had ten glasses in a house that only held three people? Who knows) and gnawing on the leg of a table. All in all, Yugi and Yami concluded that he was a cross between Bakura and Marik (2).

Marik, because he liked licking stuff, and Bakura because he liked destroying stuff. For a split second he was like Ryou because he'd stop moving and look all innocent, but then he'd go Bakura or Marik in the next moment.

The cat was completely black, so it would look rather creepy in the dark with its glowing green eyes. Which, ironically, didn't really glow, they just...looked like it. But it was still freaky.

"Maybe we should feed it?" Yugi wondered aloud as he dodged one of the cat's claws. It was beginning to fall into a rage yet again, which was quite unfortunate as it did enough damage when it was 'happy'.

"Do you know anyone who's good with cats?" Yami asked with slight worry, beginning to wonder if the cat was going to be their demise.

"Ryou used to own one." Catching what Yami was silently wanting him to do, Yugi periodically left the room and went upstairs to his room to call Ryou on the phone.

A mere ten minutes later, the white haired boy was at the door with his usual smile.

"I didn't know you got a cat, Yugi!" Ryou exclaimed in surprise when he walked in, his smile widening at the black animal curled up on the floor. "He's so cute! What's his name?"

"Yami." Yugi replied proudly, ignoring the slight look he got from his other half. Yami (the human, not the cat. God knows what its thinking) wasn't exactly pleased with the name now he knew that the one who was dubbed with it aside from himself acted like such a demon.

"He has soft fur." Ryou announced as he petted the cat on the head, offering it a friendly smile. The animal glanced up at Ryou, as if silently asking, 'who the heck are you?' before laying its head back down.

"Wow!" Yugi walked over to Ryou and sat down next to him, studying his lazy looking cat. "He never let's me pet him!"

"Maybe he's just a bit scared and needs some love." The British boy offered, smiling when the cat finally stood up. "Look! He's already warming up to you!"

But, instead of going over to Yugi, the cat marched straight over to Yami like the proud pigeon-cat it was (it's a pigeon cat because it struts), and stared up at him. After a staring contest that lasted around five minutes ended, the cat finally did something.

He jumped into the air and scratched Yami's face!

It was an amazing feat, really. It jumped over 3 feet into the air! Quite amazing for a cat. But, the downside was that Yami now had three scratches across his cheek and was bleeding.

"Yami!" Yugi exclaimed, tsking and shaking his finger at the 'innocent' black cat, "Look what you've done!"

"I didn't do anything!" Yami protested angrily. Yugi shook his head and pointed at his new pet.

"No, this Yami."

"Yugi, your cat seems a little..." Ryou paused, trying to find an appropriate word to describe the cat's odd behavior. "..hostile."

"You don't say?" Yami grumbled under his breath, glaring at the cat before wincing in pain and walking to the kitchen to wipe his face off and put some sort of disinfectant on it.

"Maybe I should trade him for another cat..." Yugi sighed, placing a hand under his chin in thought as he watched 'Yami' chase after a random fly that had flown into its face. "This one seems to hate the real Yami."

"I think he just needs a little training." The albino giggled, adding, "Kind of like Bakura. He was mean at first, but now he's better."

Yugi raised an eyebrow. Images of a cat version of Bakura entered his mind. For some reason, the most disturbing part wasn't even the fact that Bakura was actually licking stuff from a dish full of milk.

But, what the heck. It was funny.

"Well, I have to go." Ryou announced, standing up and heading towards the door. As he turned the knob, he quickly added, "Just ask if you need any help!"

As Yugi yelled 'goodbye' after his friend's retreating form, he stood up and walked into the kitchen, wondering what was taking his yami so long. In turned out, Yami was still trying to tend to his own 'battle wounds', and Yami the cat was watching him with a smug expression.

Or so it seemed. It was kind of smirking.

"Here, let me help." Yugi offered kindly, taking the wash cloth from Yami's hand and gently patting the cuts. Trying his best to ignore his other self's pained expression, he glanced over at his pet.

The cat was studying them with its head tilted to the side. Yugi smiled at it, wondering if it would calm the cat down. All it made the cat do was stare even harder at Yugi and begin licking its paw. Finally, it bowed its head and supposedly began taking a nap.

"What do you want for dinner, Yami?" Yugi asked as he finished applying the disinfectant. To his utter shock, both 'Yamis' looked up at him. It was amusing, yet scary. Mostly scary though.

"Spaghetti sounds good." The spiky-haired pharaoh replied, glaring at the cat next to him out of the corner of his eye. The cat only stared back at him for a couple of seconds before looking back at Yugi lazily.

"You think he wants spaghetti too?" Yugi joked, smiling down at the black feline, who just continued licking itself and never moved his eyes away from Yugi. It was kind of creepy, but Yugi was trying to be tolerant, so he let it slide.

Yami mumbled something about inserting poison into the food and walked away, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the cat didn't follow him. The black animal glanced over its own 'shoulder', but didn't move any of its leg muscles and stuck its tongue out slightly in a taunting manner.

All hell broke loose.

"Yami."

"What."

"Why did you mess with Yam- I mean, the cat?"

Yami said nothing and simply grumbled words Yugi was sure he didn't want to hear. Sighing, the short boy stood up and walked back into the kitchen to stir the spaghetti sauce. However, he didn't take his eyes off of both 'Yamis'. One was rolling on the ground, stretching, while the other was mumbling bitterly.

"Small, medium, or large Yami?" Yugi asked, referring to how much spaghetti the duelist wanted.

"Medium I suppose." He answered, sighing as the cat continued to roll in front of him.

You're probably wondering what happened earlier when all hell broke loose. Well, Yami dived for the cat and the sly feline moved out of the way, which resulted into Yami crashing into the cabinets behind it quite gracefully. The cat meowed in victory, but Yami tackled it and they began wrestling.

Surprisingly, the cat was quite good. It was a little frightening to know your cat was good at wrestling, but not all that bad. It could come in handy after all.

Maybe it could enter professional wrestling?

"Alright, here you go!" Yugi cheerfully walked back into the living room with a plate of spaghetti for Yami, but was shocked to see the cat sitting on his yami's lap and purring happily.

Yami looked confused, horrified, and downright angry, but he didn't dare move. If he did, the cat would wake up and probably cause havoc to once again break loose.

"Where's your grandpa, Yugi?" Yami asked as he watched his aibou disappear into the kitchen, only to come back with a pan of milk from the cat. It sniffed and stood up, running over to the milk and beginning to drink from the metal bowl.

"I believe he said he was out with friends." Yugi replied as he sat down on the couch near Yami, picking up his fork and twisting it into the noodles. "Why do you ask?"

"The cat is headed towards his room."

"Dang it!"

(1) - This basically means "my other self" in Japanese and Yugi called Yami that before he called him...well...Yami. And for those who want to know what 'Aibou' means, it means "partner" in Japanese. ^.^ Where did I get these translations? I'm Japanese, le duh.

(2) - When I say Marik I'm referring to Yami Marik, but since 'yami' isn't part of his name I just said Marik. I call his other half (known as Marik Ishtar) Malik, as many other fans do, so...yeah. ^w^

Review if you want a second chapter, but be nice! This is just for fun, and it's just humor. No plot, and it isn't really supposed to make sense, so don't expect it to do so. Bye homies!