Summary: Himawari wants to quit being a ninja and study abroad, but doesn't want to upset her father. How will she break the news to him? And how will Naruto cope with one of the hardest challenges a parent can face – letting go. Oneshot, Drama
Ninja, the most common word in Konoha. Not a day went by when someone, young or old, didn't hear this word pass someone's lips. It was the center of strength, of economy for the old village. It was what every young child aspired to be, and what stories and legends were told of. Yet it was, to some, just a profession like any other. To others, a way of life.
And yet, to the daughter of the one who was deemed by all as the leader of ninja in the village, she could not decide. As she walked those familiar dirt paved streets every day, and saw people whom she knew had great expectations of her, was she supposed to become one as well? She didn't seem to have much of a choice, it seemed.
She'd gone through the academy. While her grades were never great, they were never bad either. She had a team, unmotivated perhaps, but still all good people. She had a sensei, who always spoke of how proud they were that one of their students was the child of the Seventh. People expected things of her, and she was never one to disappoint. She loved bringing smiles to people's faces, and yet, lately, as her fourteenth birthday approached, she found herself unable to genuinely smile as much.
"P…papa? Are you proud of me?"
The dinner table was just two, this evening. Hinata was visiting friends, and Boruto had been away on a mission since noon. Just father and daughter at the table, eating instant ramen, much as they often did when Hinata was not around. Naruto, so engrossed in his eating that he didn't notice the hesitation in her eyes, nodded his head as he slurped his food. "Of course I am, that's a silly question, Hima. 'been proud of you since the day you were born, 'tebayo!"
He was such a doting father, but perhaps that made him a bit blind to the nature of her question. She stirred her ramen around in silence for several minutes, unable to question further until the right words hit her. "…what are you proud of me for?"
If he'd still been eating by this point and hadn't just finished, Naruto would have probably choked a bit on his food. He looked to his daughter, bewildered for a moment by her question. "What? Lots of stuff. You're smart and beautiful like your mother, and you're such a kind kid. You always did well in school, and your sensei says you're the best member of your team. What more could I ask from you?"
She folded her hands in her lap and looked down. Not frowning, not smiling. Just looking. Smart and beautiful like her mother, kind, these were all typical compliments she'd receive every day from him and everyone she knew. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate them, but she felt that without the bit about school and her sensei's words, she wouldn't stand out at all to her father. Clenching her hands together, she took a deep breath. "What if I said…I want to go back to school?"
Naruto chuckled for a moment. "Hey, what's gotten into you? Your grades were fine in the academy, you've got no reason to redo your ninja training. If you'd like, we can review basics or something, I just need to find the t—"
"I don't mean the academy!" she squeaked, turning away.
Naruto's face was deadpan as he looked to his daughter, distraught. "Wh…what do you mean?"
Himawari sighed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a folded up brochure and placing it on the table. Sliding it closer to her father, she dare not look at his face. Was it fear? Shame? But as he picked up the brochure to Kumogakure's revered prep-school and opened it, she fought harder not to even think about the look upon his face. "I want…I want to study abroad. I want to get into a good college and…live my life as a civilian. I…don't want to be a ninja!" She blurted out this last part, almost in anger. Frustrated at herself? At her father? Maybe her circumstances? She didn't know.
Naruto sadly flipped through the pages of the brochure. "The leading prep school in economics and trade, huh? Didn't know Kumo had a place like this." He took a glance at his daughter, still looking through the information, but more focused on her. "So…you want to run a business or something like that?"
Himawari shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I want to study trade, but I'm not sure if I want to open a business, papa. Chou Chou told me about this school and said that it was good for rounding students more. That a lot of good high schools around the entire continent use a similar um…curriculum."
Naruto closed it and placed the brochure back on the table. "You know, we've got a lot of good schools here in Konoha. You can continue your genin stuff while studying on the side, it's really not a big deal."
Himawari shook her head. "I don't want to continue being a genin. I already said, I don't want to be a ninja."
"But Hima, you spent years in the academy, and you did so well! Do you really think—"
She stood up, knocking her chair over as she did and immediately turned away. "I knew you wouldn't understand. I'm sorry for bringing it up, papa." She hadn't looked at him once since she began speaking on the matter, and even now as she left the room, she made sure to keep her head turned away. Once more, she questioned herself – shameful? Hurt? Perhaps a bit of both. But even without looking to her father as she stormed out of his presence, he could tell she was shaken.
Naruto hadn't gotten to the dishes till later that evening. He spent almost an hour sitting in thought. He was so still that he almost gathered sage energy by mistake – distracted and focused at the same time. His children, they meant the world to him. Yet, he related so much to Boruto in recent years that he had to admit, perhaps he didn't focus enough on his little girl. His ball of sunshine, his little sunflower. He thought lovingly back to the days when she was just learning to walk and talk, how cheerful she always was. "That girl is going to be one hell of a ninja!" he'd always tell his wife. "You can count on it!"
Hinata never really shared those same exact words. In fact, she never seemed to agree or disagree with him on it either. Perhaps she was just that much better as a parent, he now realized. Never pre-determining what your child would do, never expecting them to be something before they'd even had a chance to form words. Had he really been doing this all along?
He never gave it much thought. It never seemed to bother anyone. The kids, his wife, his friends – no one ever questioned his expectations, and yet he couldn't help but feel now that they should have. As he rinsed off the last bowl, he heard the sound of the door opening, and footsteps swiftly approaching him. "I'm sorry I got back so late." Came the softspoken voice of Hinata. "Sakura and I ended up playing one more round of shogi against Shikadai."
Naruto smiled, turning to Hinata and pulling her into a warm embrace. "It's alright, I didn't expect you'd be back till even later. I'm just glad you had a good time at the Nara's place."
Hinata looked up from Naruto's shoulder, still smiling, but then noticed the folded brochure on the table. "Hm? What's that?"
"A-ah, um…it's…nothing, it's nothing. I just…you know, looking at what other villages are up to lately and haha, you know the drill." He didn't know why he bothered lying at all to Hinata. Perhaps it was a means of humor, dissolving the tension. Yethe couldn't keep a straight face for long. Hinata's cheeks puffed up just slightly, and she stared Naruto down, unconvinced. She was on to him, and he was never any good at lying anyway. Drawing a heavy sigh, he walked over to the table and picked up the brochure, handing it to his wife. "Himawari…wants to quit being a ninja and further her education abroad."
Hinata regained her smile. "That's wonderful though, Naruto. Why would you try to hide that?"
"Because…I don't want…ugh, it's complicated, Hinata." In a simple way, perhaps. Naruto wasn't sure what he felt anymore. Did he really not want her to go because she would quit being a ninja? Or was it that she wanted to go to someplace so far away? He hadn't even given that any thought, what with how fixated he was on how hurt his daughter was from his own words. "Why did they have to grow up so fast?" He slumped into a chair and buried his hands in his face.
Hinata placed a hand gently upon Naruto's shoulder. "I understand how you feel, Naruto. Believe me. Not a day goes by when I don't miss holding my babies in my arms till they fall asleep, or when I don't think of all the fun we've have when they were little. Running around, playing hide and seek, watching their faces light up with laughter and joy. But we all knew days like this would come. Himawari is growing up. She sees the world through different eyes than we do."
"She doesn't have the byakugan." He joked. Again, trying to diffuse the situation, but he felt he was failing horribly. "I can take any challenge life has to throw at me. Any except this one. I don't know if I can do it, Hinata. What if we don't relate anymore? I mean, it's hard enough for me to find something to talk about with her. Ninja training gives us something to bond with. And, and what if she gets kidnapped and held ransom! I'm the Hokage, there are people crazy enough to try that and—"
"I'm sure Kumo will keep a good eye on her, Naruto."
"A bit ironic, don't you think? Didn't they try to kidnap you when you were little?"
"That was a different time!"
"I don't care!" He clasped his hands over his mouth. He didn't mean to raise his voice at her, but it just came out that way. As he turned around, however, he saw the damage was done. Hinata's face fell gloomy, and she turned away from him, her hand leaving his shoulder. "Hinata, I-"
"Naruto, I know how frustrated you are. I know you would never intend to hurt my feelings, or for that matter, Himawari's. But at this point, you're just looking for excuses to hold Himawari under our roof, whether you realize it or not. She's a bird in a cage who is trying to fly, Naruto. Please, let her go to this school if she really wants to." Hinata turned again to Naruto, strangely enough, smiling again. "Let her spread her wings a little, okay?"
He said nothing. Nodding affirmatively, he stood up again and pulled his wife into another loving hug, apologizing softly in her ear, thoughts turning once more to his daughter. It wasn't the first, but it was certainly the most difficult moment in his life as a parent where he realized that, more than ever, his children were growing up.
She'd been silent in her room all evening after dinner, barely a sound piercing the door to her room. She heard talking downstairs earlier, and could only assume her parents were discussing her deviation from the path they – no – the entire village had pretty much laid out for her. It took every ounce of her courage to speak her mind, knowing her father was the reason ninja thrived in the village. Perhaps she was just being selfish. She wasn't thinking at all of his career or goals – was there even a medium? In spite of whatever she did, she still wanted to make her father happy. To keep that smile she'd always known him to wear upon his face.
But combat scared her. She wanted to help people, not hurt. But if she told him that, he'd just say something along the lines of 'become a medical ninja, Sakura can help you'. She didn't want to make weapons, or teach children to follow the same path. Her desires were so far outside of anything the ninja system would provide. She feared she may need to decide between her father's happiness, and her own.
A turn on the knob of her door broke the silence in her room. She'd about fallen asleep, so she figured for a moment she was dreaming. The door creaked open, and the light from the hallway scattered the darkness of the room. She looked towards the door, wiping away any sign of tears still on her face. She hadn't cried much, but she didn't want to look like she had at all.
"Hey uh…Hima? Can we talk?"
She forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, papa."
Naruto flipped her light switch on and walked over to his little girl's bedside. She watched as he took his time, pacing towards the bed a bit, looking around her room. Was he lost in thought? Perhaps it was just messy. Not that she knew him to care much about the state of cleanliness in the house – he'd always been irreverent towards a clean and organized lifestyle.
Naruto sat down upon the bed and placed his hands in his lap, twiddling his thumbs a bit, much like she'd seen her mother do from time to time. A habit, perhaps, that he'd picked up after years of being married to her. "You know…" he started. "Your mother and I worked hard all our lives to perfect our ninja skills. We're both at that peak of ability where we're often talked about by other villages. Feared by some, even though neither of us have, y'know, killed people on our missions. But I guess we've just been lucky. We live in a time of peace. Ninjas are kind of a dying breed, y'know?"
She didn't understand where he was going with this. Was he trying to make her feel guilty about not wanting to carry the torch? If so, it was working, honestly. She sunk under her covers a bit.
Naruto looked out her window, fixated on the night sky. "You know, bringing peace and dismantling the ninja system as it was, that was my goal in life. But I've had so much pressure on me from the rest of the village to keep us thriving. Being Hokage…it's rougher than I ever thought it would be. I'm having to weigh my responsibilities on top of my dreams in ways I never thought I'd have to. I do well, I feel, but I fail at other things in the process. I've worried a lot about things I never used to care about, and I care more about what people think of me. What would they say if they thought I wasn't encouraging the ninja system? I never used to care what people thought about that sort of stuff. I'm a mix of emotions about some things anymore, 'ttebayo." He turned back to his daughter, reaching out and pulling the cover off of her head, then placing his hand upon her gently.
She didn't look at him, still wondering why he was telling her all this.
"You're my bright little sunflower, Hima. You fill me with so much happiness every day. Your smile is ten times more infectious than even your mother says mine is, and you'll bring that happiness to so many people. And you'll do it your own way."
Her eyes widened a bit. "W…what?" She sat up and looked her father in the eyes, noticing tears trickling down his face. "Papa, you're uh…"
Naruto wiped his face. "Don't worry about that. Dad's gotta stay tough, am I right?" He gave a thumbs up, wearing that famous grin he'd just spoken of. "Just promise me you'll be happy, whatever you choose to do and uh…promise me you'll always be my little sunflower, okay?"
Himawari smiled warmly, wrapping her arms around her father's torso. "Of course I will, papa."
She'd always be his little sunflower. Always.
"Did you pack yourself an extra change of clothes for the trip? It'll take a few days to get there, so you may have to stay overnight at an inn or something, 'ttebayo."
"I've got an entire wardrobe waiting for me at the apartment you guys got me in Kumo, papa. Don't worry so much."
"Hey, Hima! Don't forget to write to us, or I'll have to make stuff up when your friends ask me how you're doing, 'ttebasa!"
"Haha, I will, Boruto-nii. Um…mama, who is my chouffer again?"
"My team-mate, Kiba. He's a good man, and he'll keep an eye on you all the way to Kumo. Karui's brother has arranged to safeguard you once you get to the Cloud Village, but assures us that it won't be needed. Everyone in Kumo is excited about you coming to study."
"Haha, yeah! And if you've got any issues with anyone, 'ttebayo, take it up with Bee! He'll beat them up in my place and show 'em not to mess with my baby girl."
"N-Naruto, that is hardly appropriate! …but yes, Mr. Bee is a good man. You will be able to come to him if you have any problems."
"Yeah, if he doesn't ask you to rap them out, 'ttebasa…"
Ninjas. Konohagakure was full of them. They filled the streets, they lived in the shadows, they dwelled in their stories. They ran the shops, and they defended the peace. Yet as the leader of all ninjas in Konoha was discovering, to be a ninja was not the only path one could take. As he watched his young daughter leave Konoha to set her sights on a bold new horizon, his heart swelled with pride and sadness at the same time. Feelings that, when he was a young ninja, were frowned upon my many.
Yet he'd overcome all who felt that way before, and he would continue to do it now. The corrupt ninja system that he worked all his life to change – he was beginning to realize that change had finally come. And as Himawari waved one last time as she vanished over the horizons of the road that set out to the North of the village, he realized that change would soon be clear to all who stood alongside him and his family in this very moment, waving with him and Hinata to see their daughter set forth on the next chapter of her peaceful life.
'I think…this generation is going to turn out great, 'ttebayo.'
Author's Note: Been awhile since you all have gotten anything from me, eh? This is my newest oneshot. One thing I LOVE about Naruto being a parent is the fact that parenthood brings all sorts of new challenges to test the mettle of one's character. Things that one looks at and says 'I can handle that' USUALLY turn out more challenging than most would expect, and the many trials of parenthood are zero exception. Some may argue Naruto raising his voice is a little out of character, but I take into consideration that no human is perfect. Everyone has moments of stress or breaking points, and everyone has low points as well. A momentary lapse of character is actually quite in-character for a lot of people, so long as a line isn't crossed.
Himawari is a character we still know so little about. I have my own headcanons about her, and I love her to pieces, but I hope we get to see a lot more. This whole fic would take place years later than the current part 3, so I hope that was kept in mind. Ugh, I just love the idea of daddy Naruto so much. He's got so much to learn, and yet he's so perfect for the job! AGH!
The last section, I was trying to convey the situation through dialogue and a call back to the beginning of the chapter. It was my first time trying something like this, so let me know what you all thought. Reviews are lovely, and I LOVE reviews that go into depth of why they like or dislike something. But of course, I DO hope you enjoyed!