Ch. 5

The silence did not last too long: within moments the manotaurs had all started yelling, pointing,, and or punching something (the latter, which for a brief time had seemed somewhat normal when he had been training to become a man, reminded him that these creatures wouldn't hesitate before punching him). Stan glanced over at Dipper uneasily and the boy swallowed hard, not meeting his great-uncle's gaze.

Well, this was going to be awkward.

"Uh, hey, guys...?" The statement came out more like an inquiry and all of the manotaurs froze where they were. Dipper noted that they were all unanimously glaring at him and plastered a false smile on his face.

"Man, it's been a while! The, uh, cave looks different - did you spruce it up a little?" Stan's grimace that the boy spotted out of the corner of his eyes told him that this attempt at conversation was a flop.

Sure enough, a large manotaur with a dark brown beard stepped forward, arms crossed over his chest. Chutzpar, Dipper recalled after a moment. "Why are you here, Destructor? Have you come to prove yourself again?"

His great-uncle raised an eyebrow and mouthed Prove yourself? Dipper felt his cheeks burning and ignored Stan, turning back to his former ally and friend.

"Look, guys, we just ran in here on accident and we honestly thought this was just a way to get out of those tunnels - "

"What were you doing out there?" spoke up a manotaur with a shorter brown beard. "No human goes down those tunnels. Not unless they have a death wish." There was a murmur of agreement throughout the large creatures. A couple glanced around out of nervousness, as if expecting to see something jump out of the shadows.

"Wh-Why not?"

Chutzpar looked back at his fellow manotaurs and both of the Pines caught a glimpse of nervous fear in his eyes easily. "Destructor, there is some creature even worse than the Multi-Bear in these tunnels. It's been here for many years, growing and devouring every and any beast in sight."

"I lost my cousin Glandtaur to those monsters!" Pituitaur exclaimed, a shocking gleam of terror in his eyes. Several others chimed in, declaring what they too had lost to these deadly creatures.

Stan cleared his throat, unexpectedly silencing the rabble. "As entertaining as it is to listen to you talk about some dangerous monster, what are you?"

One of the manotaurs tilted his head and said lowly, (although clearly not low enough for the two humans to overhear) "Who is the old one?"

"He looks aged enough to be an offering," agreed Beardy. Stan's eyes narrowed at this. He didn't need to understand what they meant to know it was a form of insult. Dipper glanced nervously between the two, not liking this turn of conversation. He hoped the older male wouldn't decide to pick a fight with these creatures, as he definitely wasn't going to win strength-wise.

Chutzpar spoke quickly over Beardy, seeming to regain some of his confidence after describing the dreaded monsters. "We are the manotaurs! Half man, um...half taur! Who are you, old hairy human?"

Dipper winced at the increasing intensity of his relative's irritated gaze. "First off, I may be old but I can still deliver a mean punch, hairy, so knock it off with the 'old man'. Secondly, I'm his great-uncle."

"Bah, I say we just give them both as offerings to Leaderaur and go find something to knock down!" Pituitaur shouted, jabbing a big finger in the direction of the two humans. A few manotaurs bellowed enthusiastically (probably more at the thought of knocking something down) and Stan curled his hands into fists as he inched toward his great-nephew. Dipper's eyes widened at the look of agreement flashing across more of the manotaurs' faces and blurted out, "Y-You don't want to do that!"

None of the huge creatures were paying him much mind, other than Grunkle Stan who shot him a wary glance.

Dipper tried once more, a bit desperately as he noted how some manotaurs were starting to head for them. "You know, guys, I really thought you were smarter, more...um...more manly than this."

This time almost all of the manotaurs froze, the majority glaring at him. The preteen put on a brave face and pretended not to notice or care.

"I mean, surely you realize you are trying to offer up a true manly, um, man here!"

Pituitaur scoffed. "I hope you aren't talking about yourself, Destructor."

Dipper hoped no one noticed how he flinched at that. "Ah, um...no. That's not what I meant. I just..." He glanced over at Stan, whose gaze was shifting warily between him and the manotaurs, still ready for a fight. Inspiration hit and he prayed that this wouldn't end badly. "I was talking about my great-uncle here, actually."

Murmurs spread through the crowd, some narrowing their eyes and eyeing Stan with confusion. The older Pines gritted his teeth, unsure where the preteen was going with this.

"Kid..."

"The old human?" one manotaur called out, wrinkling his nose. His black beard was lopsided and he was slightly shorter than some of the other manotaurs. "He doesn't look like much of a man. Aside from how hairy he seems to be."

"Hey - !"

Dipper inconspicuously kicked Stan in the shin, laughing nervously. "He may not look like much, but I promise he's definitely manly. He once punched a pterodactyl in the face, you know."

"In the face?" Chutzpar seemed a bit impressed and more whispers flew throughout the cavern.

"Y-Yeah!" A rush of relief flooded into his veins as he realized this could work. After all, the manotaurs were all about manliness, right? He knew that firsthand. "He also took down a whole horde of zombies too! Just smashed them all with his fists and a baseball bat!"

Someone gasped nearby, and Pituitaur nodded out of respect. Stan glanced at Dipper, a little surprised by the telling gleam in his eyes. He had just been trying to protect the kids at the time and hadn't thought much of it. But despite the fact that this was a ploy to distract these weird creatures...he could almost say that Dipper looked proud of him.

He quickly looked away as Dipper gestured toward him, trying to hide the fact that there was definitely not something lodged in his throat right now.

"I mean, are you really going to offer Leaderaur someone as manly and strong as Stan Pines? Why, that would just be wrong! After all, manliness is important, right?"

"Right!" Beardy piped up. The brunette preteen shot him a grateful look.

"I suppose it would be wrong to present this human as an offering," mused Pituitaur, rubbing his nose. He eyed Stan with a mixture of respect and wariness. "However we cannot let you go just yet."

Dipper's smile twitched on his face. He didn't like the sound of that. "Um, why not?"

The manotaur rolled his eyes as if the reason were obvious. "We must hear more tales about this great warrior, of course! If he is indeed as great as you say."

The Pines exchanged looks of uncertainty. It wasn't like they had much of a choice.

"Well, why not?" Stan said, plastering a wide smile on his face and placing a hand on Dipper's shoulder, a gesture that only the boy knew was meant to be protective. "How about the time I had to break out of prison in Columbia, eh? That was a fun experience, I'll tell you..."

XSFGAKZI HVXIVGOB UVVOH YZW ZYLFG WRHHRMT GSV PRW, BLF PMLD?

"What do you mean, you can't look for them yet?!" Mabel cried, her hands placed firmly on her hips. The death glare she was giving the two men right now was downright terrifying for someone who was usually so cheerful. Even Soos and Wendy, who stood on her right, flinched slightly at the intensity in the look.

"Well, technically we're not allowed to file a report for a missing persons case until it's been at least a day or so," Sheriff Blubbs said, crossing his arms over his chest. He had been in the middle of eating lunch with Durland when he had received a call from the Mystery Shack telling him to get down here to search for these missing family members, so he wasn't in the best of moods. "It's not like we can just call on search parties all the time. When was the last time you saw either of these relatives, miss?"

"I already told you: last night around seven, which was when Grunkle Stan went to drop me off at my friend's house." The girl huffed at how neither of the men seemed to care about this case. She didn't care that they weren't able to file the report yet; she wanted them to find her brother and her great-uncle. Didn't they understand that this was urgent?

Blubbs glanced over at his partner, shaking his head. He looked back at Mabel with a twinge of pity. "I'm afraid that unless they still fail to show up in the next twenty-four hours, we won't be of any help. I'm sorry. Perhaps they're just busy out of town with something and forgot to tell you they were going."

Mabel opened her mouth to protest but Wendy placed a hand on the younger female's shoulder, silently telling her not to bother with arguing further. It didn't change the fact that this all just made her so angry.

"Call us tomorrow morning if they don't come," Durland told them, shooting Mabel an apologetic look as they headed to the front door. The trio watched the cops go, waiting until they left the Shack before sighing loudly.

"They didn't go out of town!" Mabel practically exploded, throwing her hands up. "I know they didn't! It has to be something else! Maybe they got kidnapped or got eaten or lost in the forest!"

Soos held up his hands in a reassuring gesture. "Believe me, hambone, I get it. It isn't like Mr. Pines and Dipper to just take off without saying anything. But maybe the cops are right, dude. Maybe give it a day before we start to really worry?"

The look the girl sent his way, one of complete shock and horror, scared him a bit. "No! Soos, they're in trouble, I just know it! We need to find them!"

Wendy laid a hand on Mabel's shoulder and crouched down so that they were eye-level. "Mabel, I want to look for them too. I think waiting is stupid, especially if they went into the woods or something. But Soos does have a point. So let's compromise. How about we hold off for a couple of hours, get some supplies together, and then go look for those two idiots? How does that sound?"

Mabel hesitated, biting her lip as she gazed at the ginger. She knew both of her friends were making valid points but the worry was eating away at her. Every bone in her body screamed at her to find them, find Dipper, find Grunkle Stan, they need you, go!

"I..."

"I promise we'll take as long as we can to look for them," Wendy added as she observed the hesitation in the girl's face. "We just need to regroup, get ourselves together before we go out, you know?"

Mabel sighed and glanced at the empty armchair in the living room. Her throat clenched the longer she pictured Grunkle Stan in that chair. He needed her. Dipper needed her.

"Only for two hours, though. Any later and I'll go out by myself! With Waddles too, of course."

The redhead laughed quietly, ruffling the younger's hair. "Absolutely. Now come on. We've got to eat lunch still and I'm starving. After all, we can't run on empty stomachs for a rescue mission, right?"

"Totally, dudes!"

Mabel smiled faintly at Soos' enthusiasm, starting to look like her cheerful self again. "Right. We're going to need a lot of Mabel Juice for this much energy!" She ignored how her friends groaned at the mention of that drink.

Some people just didn't appreciate her genius.

XSFGAKZI HVXIVGOB UVVOH YZW ZYLFG WRHHRMT GSV PRW, BLF PMLD?

It had only been an hour and yet Dipper was already highly confused as to how this had turned out.

The manotaurs, obviously, had adored Stan's heist and prison stories and finally admitted that it would be awful of them to sacrifice the two. Of course, that didn't mean they had left the old man alone. Stan was currently halfway across the cavern, standing on a tall rock as he told of how he fought off the zombies not too long ago. Dipper was just surprised Stan hadn't gotten tired of telling these tales; he had only intended for him to say one or two to impress them.

Did he not remember that they had to go? Mabel was likely worried sick about them and people were probably searching everywhere to figure out where they had gone. If he had guessed the time correctly, it was about lunchtime.

Speaking of which, the preteen was growing hungry, not having eaten anything since dinner last night. He sighed as his stomach gurgled for the umpteenth time and turned away from where his great-uncle was gesticulating wildly to emphasis his latest story. None of the manotaurs wanted to see him, not even after learning he was related to such a "manly man". They hadn't really forgiven him for turning the right to his manliness down about a month ago.

Not that he cared. Dipper didn't need them. He'd gotten plenty of reassurance from Mabel, especially after taking the Shack back from Gideon, that he didn't need to be huge and hairy-chested to be a man.

And he didn't need that. He was strong on his own.

It was only natural that Grunkle Stan would get along with the manotaurs of all people. He honestly should have expected this coming.

"Have you heard his stories before?" Dipper jumped a little, looking up to see the towering Chutzpar above him.

"Uh, what?"

"Your grandfather or whatever," Chutzpar pointed at Stan. Dipper tried not to roll his eyes at this.

"He's my great-uncle. And yeah, some of these I've heard. He likes to talk about how he tried to steal that vase from a museum in Mexico, something about it being a job well done." The boy shrugged. "I don't know. I sort of tuned out his stories a bit ago."

The large creature glanced between him and Stan, who was now waving his arms sort of like an eagle for some reason. Chutzpar hesitated, as if unsure what to do, before plopping down heavily beside the preteen boy, much to the latter's surprise.

"I sense emotional issues."

Dipper snorted. "Yeah, no. I'm fine, Chutzpar. Really."

The manotaur raised a bushy eyebrow, clearly not convinced. After a moment he placed his hand beside Dipper, almost hesitantly, and glanced once more at the young child's great-uncle.

"The old one is quite impressive. I don't know where Columbia is, but I bet it is difficult to escape from a prison there."

With a snort at that, Dipper rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. He tends to exaggerate his stories."

"He is...different from you."

It didn't take a genius to understand what the creature was insinuating. Dipper's shoulders tensed as he recalled the pain hole, having to cross a river full of crocodiles, running through the woods to behead the mysterious Multi-Bear. He didn't trust himself to respond to Chutzpar without growing embarrassed so he said nothing.

"But it is clear that he cares," the manotaur added. The brunette frowned, looking up at Chutzpar only to realize how he was being studied under a careful gaze. It wasn't quite as intimidating as the earlier looks he had gotten from the manotaurs, almost as if he were being considered for something other than his lack of manliness.

"What are you talking about?"

"He keeps looking over this way at you. And it is obvious that he wants to get you out of here because he is worried about...those things chasing you."

Chutzpar was unable to disguise the twinges of fear in his tone as he spoke the last words. Dipper wanted to question the manotaur about what these monsters were but he had a feeling that it would shut down this conversation. They were close to being civil with one another, reminding him of simpler times when he wasn't being possessed by demons and attacked by hordes of zombies.

He also was a bit surprised at how observant the manotaur was. He had assumed that all of the creatures in here only cared about manliness and becoming strong - that sort of thing that he lacked. However, perhaps they all didn't care so much about those traits.

"You need to leave here soon," Chutzpar said quietly, startling the boy. He had never heard such a soft urgent tone from the manotaur before. "Those shadows will come back after you, and they will come for us as well since you led them here. I don't know why you are in these tunnels but you need to leave them as soon as you can, Destructor."

Dipper nodded, even more surprised when a massive hand was placed on his shoulder, covering it entirely. "I can cover your leave by distracting the others. Just tell me when."

"Why are you - ?" Dipper shut his mouth at the slight bewilderment on Chutzpar's hairy face. He didn't want to be rude. "I mean... After what happened...?"

"We have a common enemy, Destructor," the enormous creature answered, something akin to a smirk playing on his mouth. He seemed amused by how flustered the preteen felt. "Besides, some of us do miss you, you know. Even if you are a scrawny hairless child."

"Gee, thanks, Chutzpar."

Said manotaur rumbled out a laugh. "Anytime, Destructor."

Unfortunately it was at that moment that all hell broke loose.

There was a myriad of hissing coming from the way down to the tunnels underground, and every head turned in that direction right as the walls of the cavern began to tremble violently. Some of the manotaurs huddled together nervously, eyes wide as they clearly recognized the noises. Stan and Dipper met each other's eyes, and the older man immediately made his way through the crowd of creatures for him.

It was the shadow creatures.

"They're trying to block out the sunlight," Chutzpar said, pulling the preteen boy away from the wall by them as it shook.

"If the walls come down, though," Dipper pointed out, "won't that just mean that the sunlight will completely cover this area?"

"You misunderstand me. They aren't trying to bring down the cavern. They are made of shadows, Destructor, yet unlike actual shadows...they do not vanish in the light as easily."

Dipper thought this over, trying to understand what he was implying. "The shadows are gaining enough strength to enter here without dissolving or whatever they do in sunlight."

Chutzpar nodded gravely. The other manotaurs realized what was happening and started charging out of the cavern through the walls, creating life-size holes of their forms. Stan grabbed his great-nephew's shoulder, jaw set as he eyed the mass of black forming at the entrance to the tunnels.

"We need to find a different way out of here," Stan declared.

"Follow me." Both humans looked in astonishment and confusion at the large creature beside them as Chutzpar hurried to the holes in the cracking walls of the manotaurs' cavern. "You will have to jump out!"

Dipper chuckled nervously, hoping this was some kind of joke. "Uh, I don't think that - "

"You have leapt off a cliff and plunged your fist into the pain hole, Destructor!" Chutzpar scolded. "Consider this another test of manliness - and also a life or death choice." Well, that was cheery.

"Pain hole...?"

Dipper glanced back at the shadows as a couple more manotaurs charged through the walls once more. He couldn't help but think that this was a rather stupid way to die.

"Let's do it." Stan turned to his great-nephew, eyebrow raised.

"Um, are you sure, Dipper? We could always try and find another way - "

"Come on!"

The older man sighed and hurried after Dipper as he ran toward the wall. "Or we could leap to our deaths. Fine."

Chutzpar looked down at the boy as he hesitated in front of the enormous hole three times his size, biting his lip as he waited for Stan to catch up. The creature recalled the determination in the boy's eyes not too long ago when he had declared he would destroy their sworn enemy, his jaw tight and focus solely on the fight ahead. He observed the same expressions in his relative's features when it came to protecting the brunette.

As Stan Pines hefted the younger into his arms and charged out of the wall a minute later, the manotaur thought that perhaps there was a chance Dipper Pines was going to be taught proper lessons in manliness after all.