AN: after watching the latest episode I decided, that naming it "How to save a life" was some sort of cruel joke and this popped into my head. What whould have heppened if they had given him a head CT? I'll start from there and explore how this could have gone, of course with a different ending from the one we got. I cannot imagine Grey's without Derek, I cannot believe that Meredith and him won't have their happily ever after, she already went through so much in her life and having her lose the love of her life is s cruel. This is my version of episode 11x21 and how I think it should have gone. There will be more if you guys like it.

If I lay here

The trip from her home to the hospital was a blur, just like everything after those two policemen told her about the accident. She didn't even remember dressing the kids, but as she looked at them while standing in front of that small country hospital she discovered that both of them had a coat on top of their pjs and tennis shoes on their feet.

"What am I going to do with my kids?" she heard herself asking the two uniformed men.

"We can stay with them while you speak with the doctors" the older one reassured her, coming forward to take hold of Bailey's stroller.

She looked at the sleeping boy before turning to Zola "Hey Zozo, I need to go speak with some doctors, will you be okay here with these two policemen?"

The little girl nodded, sleepiness and fear both clear in her big brown eyes.

"I will be back as soon as possible, okay?" she kneeled down, hugging her close.

"Okay mama" she whispered, turning to look at the two policemen with the nice smiles, the younger blond one offered the girl his hand and she gladly took it, following them and taking a seat in the waiting room.

Meredith found two doctors waiting for her in the lobby, they both had a somber look on their faces and she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Mrs. Shepherd?" the girl looked like she was a third or fourth year resident.

She just nodded in response "I'm Dr. Williams and I just finished operating on your husband" the other one piped in.

"How is he doing?" she heard herself ask.

"He suffered what is called a subdural hematoma, which means that blood was collected between the layers of tissue surrounding his brain increasing the pressure outside his brain, he was almost unconscious when he was brought here and we took him to get a CT scan right away. I performed a craniotomy in order to reduce the pressure and now he's in our post-op room..." she interrupted him "I'm a doctor, a surgeon really, just like my husband is, so I know what a subdural hematoma is. Are you taking him to your ICU?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"We don't have one here, we've already called the paramedics and they are going to be here in five to ten minutes to take him to the closest ICU which is at Seattle Pres"

"I want him taken at Grey Sloane Memorial, that's the hospital where we work at, I'm sure they will take good care of him and the trip will only be ten minutes longer" she reasoned.

"Okay, if that's what you want"

"It is" her voice firm, she let go of a breath she didn't know she had been holding "can I see him?"

"Yes, if you come with us" the girl spoke again.

She followed them to a private room on the right side of the lobby and saw his emaciated body on the hospital bed.

She inhaled deeply and felt a lone tear roll down her right cheek; she closed the distance separating them and took hold of his left hand.

"It's going to be okay Derek, I'm taking you to Grey Sloane, your sister will take good care of you" she promised in a whisper, kissing his fingertips.

Looking at his chest rising and falling slowly, along with listening to the monitors beep and looking at his heart rate was sort of comforting, but she was glad to hear the paramedics barge in the room with a stretcher.

"This is his wife, they're both doctors at Grey Sloane and she wants him taken there" Dr. Williams spoke to the two of them.

"Sure thing" they answered as they were already transferring on the stretcher "do you want to ride with us?"

"My kids are in the waiting room with the policemen who came to our house, let me go check on them"

"Okay, we'll see you in the lobby"

When she arrived in the waiting room she found both of the kids asleep along with the two policemen "they're transferring him to Grey Sloan Memorial where we both work, because they don't have an ICU here" she said.

"Okay" it was the older one who answered "I suppose you want to ride with him"

"I would like to do that, yeah, but what are we doing about the kids?"

"We can follow along and meet you over there" the other one reassured her.

"That would be great" she said, her voice crocked.

"Okay then, let's put the kids back in the patrol car" they both got up and went back outside, along with the paramedics who had arrived in the lobby.

Sitting in the back of the ambulance Meredith stared at the police car containing her kids, hoping neither of them would wake up during that ride.

She held onto Derek's hand for the entire ride over to GSMH, never letting it go while she called his sister and Owen to inform them about what had happened and how long it was going to take them. After she had finished those calls she wandered if she was had to call his mother as well, but it was the middle of the night on the east coast and waking her up with this news didn't sound like a good idea. She decided to call Alex instead and he assured her that he would go back to the hospital right away.

When the hospital finally came into view she felt herself relax a little, the best care for him was definitely here, behind the walls of Grey Sloane.

The ambulance came to a stop and they were met by Amelia, Owen and Maggie.

Once again she felt herself move in a blur, not understanding what was going on, only aware of the fact that her sleeping kids had arrived as well.

Alex was in the lobby in a matter of seconds, with Jo next to him. She took hold of the stroller, while Alex took Zola's sleeping body from the policeman's arms.

"Thank you" she heard herself say.

"No problem at all Ma'am" they took one last look at the two sleeping children and left the hospital.

"They took him up in the ICU, Amelia is taking a look at the scans" Jo reassured her "Dr. Pierce also wants to take a look at his heart"

"He's going to make it, Mere" Alex placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You don't know that" she wiped the tears streaming silently on her face.

"They gave him a head CT right away and relieved the pressure, now he's in the hands of a really capable surgeon" he tried to calm her down.

"Yeah, I know... they wanted to take him to Seattle Pres"

When Amelia got back Meredith didn't know if she had been sitting there with Alex, Jo and the kids for ten minutes or for ten hours.

"The intra-cranial pressure decreased dramatically compared to before surgery" was the first thing she said.

"Okay" she nodded in response "where do we go from here?"

"We will monitor him closely and check his pressure every two hours" she paused and looked at her sister in law "I'm confident he should wake up, Dr. Williams did a good job, I'm just not sure how long it will take him. You know how these things go..."

"Yeah" she whispered, holding onto Alex's hand.

Maggie came along with Owen just then "I did some exams and his heart is in good shape, it looks like it didn't suffer in any way during surgery, but I'll monitor him closely as well" she reassured as well.

"Good" Meredith looked up at the three of them "I wasn't sure about calling your mom in the middle of the night" she added then.

Amelia looked at her wristwatch, it was 3:47 a.m. "maybe we should call her now, she could get an early flight out" she finally added.

"Yeah, we should"

"I can call her, she is my mom"

Meredith turned to look at her still sleeping children and got up, closing the distance between herself and the younger Shepherd "we can call her together"

Amelia nodded "It's going to be okay" she whispered holding onto her hand.

"I hope" Meredith whispered back, she than turned towards Alex "can you keep an eye on them while we call Carolyn?"

"Of course" he nodded.

While she listened to Amelia trying to be reassuring to her mother she let herself crying silently tears of fear; Derek had to make it. I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to.

"Want to go see him?" she heard Amelia asking after she had explained that her mom was going to the airport right away.

"Yes, please" the two of them went up the ICU and she found herself looking at him, lying in the white bed, he looked somehow less emaciated, but she wasn't sure if it was just her impression.

She leaned on him and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, inhaling a foreign scent, of hospital and detergent.

"He looks like he's sleeping" she said.

"Well, he basically is"

I know... I just hope he wakes up soon"

"Me too"

"What do I tell the kids?"

"You tell them that daddy is sick at the moment and he can't see them" she answered after a long pause.

"Yeah, it's probably best" she mused "I should go back to them"

"I'm sure Alex will take them home if you wish to stay here"

"Yeah, but they also need a change of clothes..."

"We can work something out, Mere. You're not alone in this"

"Thanks" she whispered after a while, kissing his cold cheek once again "I will be back soon" she reassured the still man.

Jo agreed to take the kids home, while Alex went to retrieve some clothes along with Maggie, so that they could come back with Meredith's car as well. The resident promised to be back with the kids around breakfast time, so they could eat with their mom and go to daycare like always. When Jackson and April arrived at 7 a.m., Owen offered to explain what had happened to them and Meredith was so grateful for her makeshift hospital family. At 7:20 Callie was sitting next to her, an arm around her shoulders "I'm sure it will all be okay, you hear me?"

"Yeah... I really hope so"

"You need to think positive, Meredith"

"I'm trying" she finally answered "he was supposed to resign from the White House and be back here for good"

"And he will be, you guys are proof that true love exists and it can overcome everything"

"Doesn't really feel like it at the moment" she bitterly answered.

"I know, but you heard what Amelia said. His pressure is decreasing and they did everything like she would have done"

Meredith just nodded "I don't want to be a widow" she confessed.

"You won't" she kept on hugging her with her left arm.

"Have you told Cristina?" she asked after a while.

"Not yet"

"I think you should"

"Yeah, I will do that now; before the kids get here" she said fishing for her cell phone in her purse.

On the other side of the ocean, thousands of miles away, a phone ringed in the afternoon in an simply furnished office.

"Meredith? Is everything okay? Why are you calling me at this hour?"

"Derek was in an accident"

"How is he doing?" Cristina was on high alert.

"He suffered a subdural hematoma, Amelia is keeping an eye on him. She's confident he will wake up"

"How are the kids?"

"They don't know yet, I don't think I will tell them just yet..." there was a brief pause.

"Let me clear up my schedule, I'll try to catch a flight either tomorrow night or the day after"

"You don't have to"

"Of course I do, you're my person. Tell that stubborn husband of yours that he better be awake when I get there and I'll see you in a couple of days"

"Okay... thank you"

"Don't even mention it"

As she put her phone back into her purse she heard the pitter-patter of small feet and saw Jo and Alex coming along with Zola and Bailey.

"Mama!" the girl shrieked as she saw her.

"Hey baby girl" she smiled back, putting all negative thoughts aside.

"I missed you"

"I did to, but mama had to stay here at the hospital" she said hugging her.

The girl inhaled her lavender scent and sat contently in her lap.

"I'm right here" she reassured her, caressing her back "It's all going to be okay"

So, what did you think? Like it so far? The story sort of hit me after I woke up this morning, I have the outline clear in my head and I hope you guys can be interested in it. Press the pretty blue button and let me know how you liked it.