Smelling Salts: Cana Style

"Ask me as many times as you want, I'll never order Jalias to leave that bitch's body!" Emilio roared, yanking against his bindings.

Erza sighed and leaned against the wall, "This is pointless. He's just getting louder and louder."

Laki set down her shards of bamboo on the wooden table in the center of the room. "I thought for sure that'd loosen him up," she said dejectedly. "Perhaps I'm not as good at this as I thought I was…"

"It's not your fault. He's just too resilient to pain."

"As a follower of Zeref, I must be prepared to throw my life away at the shortest of notice," Emilio panted. "Don't take me lightly with this petty torturing…"

"Perhaps we should break all of your limbs then?" Erza growled.

"Do your worst, wench. In the next life, Zeref will reward me with immortality! Kill me if it will make you feel better!"

"So annoying," Laki grabbed a riding crop from the wall and whipped it against his bare chest. "I've decided I no longer care if you do save Lucy. I'll have my fun with you until your voice has long since disappeared!"

"Do your worst, wench!" Emilio spat a split second before the riding crop drove across his face.

Erza sighed and watched Laki dole out her punishment on the man. Emilio leaned back in his chair and started belting out the lines to a song.

"Ohhhhh… Zeref is great! Zeref is awesome! Zeref will save me from shittiness! Ooooohhhhh… Zeref is strong! Zeref is hot! Zeref will save us all from filthiness!"

Erza hid her smile behind her hand. Cultists were hilarious.

Lucy, listen to me…

No.

Jalias' black eyebrow twitched as he apathetically ate his porridge in the middle of the guild hall. Why are you being so stubborn? Let me talk to you.

I don't want to. You're a disgusting body snatcher and I don't need to talk to you.

But I want to help you!

Jalias could feel, more than hear, her scoff. It was a sensation of disgust in the back of his throat that nearly made him spit out the mouthful of warm porridge he had just spooned inside.

You want to help me? Then why did you block me out the first couple of weeks that you possessed my body?

He leaned his forehead against the palm of his hand. I'm sorry… I'd never had a host as loud and aware as you and so I panicked. I thought you were somehow going to kick me from this body and then I'd be… he stopped. Jalias straightened and pushed his porridge around in the bowl with his spoon. Lucy was silent.

Anyway, he finally continued. I said I'm sorry. I acted selfishly. I was a coward and I regret it. You just don't understand.

What don't I understand?

He gulped down another bite, glancing up at the Fairy Tail mages that sat around him at the table, laughing and chatting cheerfully. Natsu shoved chopsticks up his nose as Gray flicked wadded up pieces of napkin at him. Jalias inhaled deeply before answering.

What it's like to be alone.

The outraged taste of disgust appeared in the back of his throat again.

Of course I do. I'm alone right now.

You have me. Jalias stirred his porridge, staring at the edge of the bowl. You have me to fill the void with sound. You have your friends, all the people that love you. They're all thinking about you and worried for you. So long as you have that… you're not alone. Not really.

Lucy fell silent.

He let out a sigh and continued his breakfast, Anyway, it's not like I'm doing this on purpose. I've already decided to leave this body. But I wasn't lying when I said that my contract holder has to be the one to release me. I can't just leave on my own. So until Emilio breaks, I'm afraid you will just have to be patient.

One of Gray's napkin bullets went astray and plopped into the back of the head of Laxus. Natsu cackled loudly as the lightning dragon stood from his place at a neighboring table and turned, left eye twitching in irritation. Gray held up his hands, apologizing profusely and reminding the angry mage about the presence of a certain pregnant woman but his pleas fell on deaf ears. Laxus sent lightning bolts flying across the table, stinging Gray's exposed nipples and sending him careening to the floor. Natsu and Happy screamed with laughter until two stray bolts knocked both of them on their asses, Happy's blue hair expanding instantly into an afro. Another stray bolt veered off in Jalias' direction but was deflected by the tray Mirajane wielded. She chided the rowdy mages and everyone settled down, Laxus returning to his seat, grumbling, and Natsu, Gray, and Happy to theirs, smoothing down their electrified hairs.

Where will you go?

Jalias was surprised to hear Lucy's voice come once more.

Hm?

When you leave my body, where will you go?

Ah… Jalias sipped at a mug of water. Where I always go.

Which is?

He hesitated and then reluctantly answered, My book. I return to the pages where my life is written.

…I don't understand. What happens to you though? You. This person I'm talking to right now.

Jalias chuckled softly, I am not a person.

Where do you go? What happens when you go back to your book?

It's not important. Just be patient and—

I want to know! Tell me!

Jalias dropped his spoon and leaned forward, holding his face in his hands. In my book… I… my consciousness… hangs.

What does that mean? What happens? What is it like?

He gulped as a sharp pain stung his stomach. He touched it softly.

Nothing.

What?

That's what it's like. It's like nothing. My consciousness hangs in suspended darkness, only… it doesn't feel like there's even any darkness. There's just nothing. It's quiet, but not. It's cold, but not. I'm there… but not.

That's…

The pain in Jalias' stomach turned to a dull ache. It's not so bad. Sometimes, if my book comes into close proximity of the book of a fellow demon locked away, we can converse. My book is currently in a crypt that Zeref worshippers frequent. They've been collecting Zeref's demons so I have quite a few to keep me company.

How can you say it's not so bad? You just said it's like you're not even there—

It's fine, he squeezed his eyes shut, gripping at his abdomen. "I'm fine," he whispered. "It'll all be just fine…"

But—

Natsu glanced over and noticed the pained expression on Jalias' face.

"Jalias?" he reached over and touched his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Fine…" he muttered. "I'm just—" Jalias collapsed against the table, shoving his porridge and water to the floor.

"Jalias!" Natsu leapt to his feet and steadied the demon from behind, hands on his shoulder blades.

Jalias? Lucy said in a panic. Jalias! What's wrong? JALIAS!

Jalias panted heavily for a few seconds, sweat lining his brow and dripping down his temples before he completely lost consciousness.

Natsu's hands quivered and he swallowed a dry lump in his throat. His nose twitched and tears filled his eyes, "L-Lucy?"

Woody pressed his forehead to the floor, "I'm sorry Porly-san! So sorry! So so so so sorry!"

"Would you quit that?" Porlyusica snapped from the other side of the lacrima. "I get it, okay?" She let out a sigh and rubbed her temples. "A demon… huh? Well I suppose it makes sense so I'm not really all that surprised."

"This is such terrible news," Woody crawled on his knees up to the table where his lacrima sat. Tears streamed down his cheeks and a drop of snot dangled from his left nostril. "I'm so sad. Leo the Lion is such a famous spirit and yet… boo hooooooo…" he wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his lab coat. "What are we going to do?"

"It's not just Leo the Lion," Porlyusica said calmly. "About eight other golden keys as well as multiple silver keys are also going through the transformation."

Woody stared at her wide eyes. New giant fat tears filled them and spilled over his cheeks. "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOOOOOO? HEAVEN IS NOTHING WITHOUT ITS ANGELSSSSS."

She glared at him, "Oh shut up. They'll be fine if we can get rid of the demon in their key holder's body. And if we can't do that…" she dwindled off, staring at the wall to her left. "Well." She straightened and cleared her throat, "Thank you Woody for your assistance."

"Wait! Is Leo going to be okay?"

She drummed her fingers on the desk quietly for a moment, "Goodbye Woody." She ended the connection and leaned back in her seat. "One week…" her mouth twisted down sourly. What in the world was she supposed to do in one week? According to Makarov, the Zeref worshipper was steadfast in his refusal to remove the demon from Lucy's body. He need only hold out for another six days and all of the celestial spirits under contract with Lucy would fall from the celestial spirit realm.

"Tch," Porlyusica pushed away from the desk. "This is why I hate humans…"

"Lucy, Lucy!" Natsu shook her shoulders as the dark color of her hair faded back to blonde.

"What's happening?" Gray asked as Natsu pulled the girl from the table and lay her out gently on the floor.

"I don't know," he said breathlessly. "But… but…"

"Her scent," Gajeel murmured from beside Levy.

The little blunette glanced up at him. "Her scent?"

"It's Lucy's…" Natsu whispered as tears slipped down his cheeks. "It's Lucy's…"

"How is that possible?" Happy asked, grabbing the girl's left hand in both of his paws. "Did Laki and Erza get the cult guy to take Jalias out?"

"Lucy…" Natsu cupped the girl's face tenderly, gaze glued to her closed eyelids. "Lucy… wake up… please…"

"Mira, bring some water!" Levy said, kneeling beside Happy. Gray knelt at Lucy's head, staring firmly down at her face in case she awoke and he missed it.

"Lucy," Natsu gulped. "Please… open your eyes. Wake up…"

"I know what'll wake her up," a voice said from above. Everyone turned to Cana, who slipped in between Gray and Natsu. She sat down on the floor and lifted her flask. "Watch this," she said, adopting a sinister grin. "Smelling salts: Cana style."

"What—" Natsu started but Cana ignored him and passed the open mouth of the flask under Lucy's nose. The girl's lids immediately flew open, revealing bloodshot, brown eyes.

"What the fuck was that?" she yelped and sat straight up, slamming foreheads with first Cana and then Gray. All three fell back, holding their heads and groaning.

"Oh shit..." Cana moaned. "I've got spots in my vision..." she passed the flask under her own nose and perked right back up. "Woo, that's better."

"Lucy?" Natsu whispered unsurely staring intently at the girl.

She blinked the stinging tears from her eyes and slowly sat up. After a moment she paused, staring down at her hands.

"Wait…" she said quietly. "I'm… me." She looked up at Natsu. "I'm me… I'm me again!"

"Lucy!" Natsu exclaimed.

"Lucy!" Happy repeated.

"LUCY!" the entire guild erupted and rushed in.

Happy leapt against her chest and Natsu wrapped them both up in a monstrous hold, crushing the poor cat against Lucy's breasts. Gray, Cana, Levy, and soon everybody else joined in on the hug. Lucy gripped the front of Natsu's jacket and hid her face in his neck as the tears rose and began to fall.

"N-Natsu…" she whispered between sobs.

He squeezed her tighter, burying his nose in her hair and inhaling deeply.

"Natsu…" she whispered again. "I… I love you."

Natsu froze, eyes widening.

The guild fell deathly silent.

"Hey," Macao muttered to Wakaba from the outskirts of the group hug. "Did you hear that?"

"Sure did," he said back.

"What a way to confess," Lisanna let out a sigh.

"And in front of everybody too," Mirajane smiled.

"Lu-chan just can't read the mood, can she?" Levy said to Gray, who shook his head.

"How unromantic."

Everyone pulled back and gathered in a circle around the blonde, who was now furiously hiding her face in the front of Natsu's jacket, blushing tremendously.

"How cute," Cana said, leaning back. "She's embarrassed."

Lucy sat back, finally allowing Happy to breathe. "Sh-sh-sh-shut up!" Lucy shouted, eyes fluttering. "I never said it! Everyone forget you heard that!" she glanced at Natsu and then quickly away when her face flamed once more. "E-e-especially you!"

"Like I'd forget that," he growled and grabbed her face. He pulled her close and planted a solid kiss to her lips.

Lucy's brain exploded and her eyes rolled back. The guild let out a giant roar of approval as the girl went limp in his grasp.

"What's going on here?" Erza asked as she entered the guild hall.

"Erza!" Levy called, bounding to her feet excitedly. "You did it! Jalias is gone! Lucy is back!"

"Huh?" Laki walked up from behind the redhead. "What are you talking about? Emilio passed out half an hour ago."

Natsu pulled back from Lucy and she blinked lethargically, brain scurrying to pull itself back together. Everyone turned to Laki and Erza.

"We've been torturing him nonstop for hours but he's been holding fast," Erza said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You mean…" Levy turned back to Lucy. "Jalias hasn't left?"

Lucy blinked and straightened, "Huh? Well…" she bit her lip. "Now that you mention it… I can still feel him… in the back of my head…"

"So he's still in your body…" Gray murmured, pursing his lips and drumming his fingers on the floor. "But why are you in control again?"

"Maybe he somehow lost his power?" Lisanna suggested.

Lucy gulped as everyone started to talk and argue.

Jalias?

There was no reply.

I know you're there. Is everything okay? What happened? Why am I in control of my body again?

You sure ask a lot of questions.

She let out a deep breath and then paused, realizing that the sensation she was experiencing was relief. Why was she relieved? He was just a filthy body snatcher. She shouldn't…

I'll stay like this for now, Jalias said, drawing her attention once more. Until Emilio finally agrees to eject me, I'll stay back. Don't worry about me. Just… live your life normally and I'll be quiet.

Lucy's chin quivered, But…

It's fine. Please… don't think another second about it.

Lucy pulled her legs to her chest and hugged them, hiding her face against her knees. You say that but I can't help but feel sick about this…

Jalias didn't speak.

Jalias?

But his voice didn't come.

"Lucy?" Natsu reached out and gently touched her shoulder.

She lifted her face and he blinked in shock at the sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Natsu…" she sobbed. "What should I do?"

Natsu gulped and tenderly wiped a tear from her eye. He opened his mouth to speak but a sudden voice from the other side of the guild hall drew everyone's attention.

"I have an announcement!" Porylusica said in a terse tone.

Natsu and Lucy turned towards the harsh woman. She leveled the crying blonde with a red eyed stare for a long moment before continuing.

"The other day I sent a blood sample from your spirit to a colleague of mine to analyze. He just got back to me."

Lucy glanced around at everyone as they murmured and turned uncomfortable.

She glanced back at Porlyusica, "A-and? What did he say?"

"So long as that demon is inside your body," she said. "All celestial spirits under contract with you will be transformed into demons."

Lucy froze, blood going cold.

What? Jalias' voice came again.

"What do you mean?" Natsu said.

"I mean exactly what I say," she snapped. "Leo and the other keys affiliated with Lucy Heartfilia are transitioning into demons. In less than one week, they will all be cast from the celestial spirit realm."

What? Jalias' voice quivered.

Lucy's hands began to shake. "Everyone… everyone will…" Her chest hurt. She reached a trembling hand up and clutched at her heart as she started to hyperventilate. "All of my friends will…"

"Lucy, you need to calm down," Natsu said, grabbing her shoulders. "You don't need more stress right—"

"Mira!" Lucy pushed him away and struggled to her feet. She turned towards the barmaid and stumbled towards her. "My keys! Give me my keys!"

"Lucy…" Mirajane looked uncertain.

"GIVE THEM TO ME! GIVE MY KEYS TO ME RIGHT THIS SECOND!" she screamed frantically.

Mirajane pulled the leather pouch from the pocket of her apron. Lucy snatched it from her hands and ripped the metal ring full of dangling keys out. Her trembling hands probed through them until they found the key they were looking for.

"Open!" she shouted, drawing several shouts from the Fairy Tail mages around her. "Gate of the—"

Natsu grabbed her forearms, "Stop it! Lucy! You can't use magic! You could hurt the baby—"

"Open!" she shrieked, eyes squeezing shut.

Natsu covered her mouth with his hand, "Please! Stop! Lucy you need to calm down! It'll be fine! We will figure this out together! We will save them together!"

Tears slipped down Lucy's cheeks, and disappeared under Natsu's hand.

Golden light flashed behind Natsu and Loke materialized before them.

"Shit!" Gray said. "Did Lucy manage to call—"

"No," he coughed, bloodshot eyes locked on his mage. "I came here on my own. To put a stop to this crazy woman's rambling."

Lucy shook Natsu off of her and stepped towards the spirit.

"Leo the Lion!" she lifted his key, eyes frantic. "I hereby release you from—"

It was Loke's turn to cover the girl's mouth. His face distorted in anger.

"Stop it!" he demanded. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

She shoved his hand away, "If you are not under contract with me then you won't—"

"I'd rather turn into a demon than be cast away by my master!" Loke's eyes blazed. "It's not like this would be the first time I've been banished from heaven! Get a hold of yourself!"

She shook her head vigorously, tears steadily streaming down her face and falling from her chin. "I can't… I won't let it happen! I'll die before—"

Lucy froze. The key ring dropped from her hand and clanked to the floor. Her knees knocked together and Natsu lunged forward to catch her body before it could hit the ground.

"Lucy!" he shook her in panic.

There was a long moment when the guild was deathly silent once more, everyone holding the breath in their lungs.

Finally, Lucy's blonde hair darkened to pitch black. Her eyes opened slowly, revealing bright red irises.

"Jalias?" Natsu said unsurely.

Jalias sat up with a snarl. He pressed his hand to his forehead, red eyes glaring coldly at the floor.

"Damn it," he said under his breath. "What's with her?" he climbed unsteadily to his feet and dusted off the front of his shirt. He glanced at Loke, "Sorry. I was careless. I didn't realize the extent she would go…" he gritted his teeth and turned towards Erza and Laki. "Take me to him."

Erza cocked an eyebrow. "What do you plan to do?"

He lifted his chin, "We can't afford to wait around any longer. Bring me to Emilio. I'll force him to remove me from this body, no matter what. You have my word."

Author's Note: Man... these chapters just keep getting shorter and shorter, don't they? Not to mention really serious and not all that interesting or good... Wah. Well... At least they're getting written at all. I've been in a major writing slump lately. I just don't even know what the herckerdoodle I'm putting on the page half the time. (Most of the time.) Oh wells. I'm really surprised you've all stuck with me all this time. I commend you. *slow clap* I don't really have much to say these days. Thanks to everyone that is still reading and reviewing and just being lil cuties. Oh and thanks for the recommendations on anime that I got from a bunch of you. Since I didn't reply to anyone about that yet and probably won't (because I'm messaging trash) I'll just let you all know what I have started watching and reading down here. Maybe it'll inspire you guys to watch and read this junk too if you haven't already.

Okay, so, so many people suggested The Seven Deadly Sins. Like seriously, just about every one of you. What the hell. So I was like, "Alright, Moo. Watch this one, obviously." But then my internet crapped out halfway through the first episode and I got mad and ragequit. And I haven't picked it back up again yet. But I plan too. So I will.

I also started Durarara, which I find really interesting already. Me and the MOTH had already watched One-Punch Man but a lot of people suggested that one too so I'm letting you know that yes, I love. Love love. Genos=sex machine.

Oh! I got suggested Noragami. Which is another that I already knew about, but I want to point out that yes, love. Much love. Much ultra love. Although the manga is stressing me out right now. *pulls hair* Let's see... Akatsuki No Yona. I watched half of it. Need to finish it, but I wanted to catch up on the manga first. But maybe I'll just say fuck it and watch instead. Who knows. It's good though. Gargantia and the Verderous Planet I started a while ago and then completely forgot and abandoned it. Woops. Thanks for reminding me... *checks who suggested that..* halliegirl.

Love love Ranma 1/2. But I've only read it. I started watching the anime but got sidetracked from that too. Woops again. Watched Ao No Exorcist. Need to watch the movie...s? I only know of one but there might be more... Love Kami-sama Kiss. Cute cute cute. Hate Mirai Nikki. Haha I couldn't finish it! I got kinda far and loved it because I love psychotic bitches and then I saw a spoiler of someone I like dying and was like, "Fuck it." So I ragequit. I know. I'm a quitter. Love Kyoukai no Rinne, although... (Yeah you guessed it) I haven't finished it yet. Soul Eater=Love. Ouran High=Kiss kiss fall in love mother fuckers. Toradora=loving so far. Love Devil is a Part Timer, still makes me laugh my ass off. I want to start Hunter X Hunter and Fullmetal Alchemist and Gintama and Bleach but I'm trash. I will one day. I still need to gather up my courage and watch the final 50 episodes of One Piece that I've been putting off because it's already hell being caught up with the manga and having to wait week to week for a new chapter. I don't want to be left hanging with the anime too! *heavy breathing*

I love Dengeki Daisy *fingers crossed that they'll make an anime for it*. Also love Kaichou wa Maid Sama and Horimiya.

WOW. You guys gave me a lot of great suggestions! Wonderful. Beautiful. Okay, since you all graced me with wonderful shit, I'll give some quick suggestions too. If you take them and read/watch them, totally tell me what you think!

Manga: One Piece (my sweet wonderful baby), Mosspaca Advertising Department (comedy), Oresama Teacher (comedy), Prison School (hardcore cray cray boobs and ass but also super funny), Takane to Hana (romantic comedy), Gangsta. (cool as hell), Tonari no Seki-kun (cute comedy), Uchi no Maou Kamimasen yo (cute, good concept comedy), Yamada-kun to 7-nin no majo (hilarious romantic comedy), Yankee-kun to Megane-chan (hilarious comedyX2), Yankee to Yandere no kakera ni (comedy)

Anime: Binbougami Ga (comedy. Seriously. It's hilarious. Lots of references. Great. Watch it.), Gangsta. (It's cool as hell), ONE PIECE (MY SWEET BABY ANGEL CHILD), Angel Beats (comedy but also super emotional), Chuunibyou (cute as hell), DEATH PARADE (MY SECOND SWEET BABY ANGEL CHILD), Prison School (HARDCORE CRAY CRAY BOOBS AND ASS BUT SERIOUSLY SUPER FUNNY), Samurai Champloo (awesome word up), Baccano! (Seriously, best.), Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou, (Daily Lives of High School Boys)(Hilarious awesome comedy)

Okay one more.

Fairy Tail!

There, I managed to make it seem like this chapter is actually really long but it's just my author's note. HAH. SUCKERS.

Love you all!

Love-Moo