(A/N): Hontou ni gomen nasai! (Super, super sorry) +bows head before shadowed judges a.k.a fanfic readers++ Before when I was writing out my first two stories the updates were much faster and I suppose my only real excuse would be my novel, which if all goes well I will complete before the start of the new school year and hopefully, hopefully publish.

Please bare with me during this time and know that I am not departing from this awesome world.

Meanings of previous chapters:

Ch.1-Columbine=foolishness due to the bell and shape which looks as if a jester's hat and has bad connotation to the Virgin Mary

Ch.2-Yellow Hyacinth=many yellow flowers symbolize jealousy, one sided romance, etc. though can be used for friendship as well.

Ch. 3-Orange Blossom=fertility (something Megumi clearly doesn't have)

Ch.4- (now) Rhododendron=caution of future events.

Moving on, I clearly have no rights to anything of 'Say I Love You', despite how many candles I've lit or wishes made.

Arc IV: The Rhododendron

December daylight flooded Mei's apartment room as she sat curled up in bed with Naoyuki and Katsumi, breastfeeding and running her gentle fingers through their soft, silky hair so much like Yamato's. Their innocent eyes looked so much like her, yet more mischievous like their estranged father. Yamato….Despite it being more than a year of her absence she found herself more now than ever missing him. Did he want her back? Did he hate her for leaving? Did he even want to meet Naoyuki and Katsumi?

Mei shook her head slightly, trying to purge out the thought of him, how they met, and especially of their first joining during senior year. He wasn't here, wasn't with her and yet her mind betrayed her as vivid images more detailed than those that her fogged mind during childbirth had conjured up, yet it was SO not working…..

(flashback mode in place...Raven is out-)

It was embarrassing enough to be semi clothed in only a wrinkled button-down blouse and a pair of 'old fashioned' black and white striped panties before her teasing boyfriend. Even more so when the rest of the clothing is tossed aside and Mei saw for the first time his entire body before melting to his surprisingly feather-gentle touches and comforting reassurances as he palmed her plentiful bust and tore through her maiden barrier with gentle reassurances as small crystal tears fell from her face and were kissed away by Yamato…..

(back to work...I'm here +carries a steaming mug of hot chocolate and biscuits+)

Mei woke up from her maddening blush daydream when her twins yawned and fell asleep against her. Scooping them both up gently and wiping their drool she places them in the two wicker wood cribs nearby and turns on the small night lights nearby that were shaped like roses and bluebirds incase Katsumi woke up too early and put a fuss. She readjusts her loose nightgown which accommodates her almost fully recovered body and falls asleep in one heap beneath the thick blankets and dreaming of her high school life in which Kuro and Marshmallow talked and Nagi had become their home economics teacher.

~please shift to the words below~~no longer in Hokkaido~~~

A mind-numbing headache was not Megumi Kitagawa had anticipated upon waking up after a blurred night at the bar. She also hadn't expected to feel the burn of metal against her opened palm as she attempted to yawn and stretch, only beginning to process the real world. Her unruly hair fell to her chin as she winced, both from the pain of the blunt object and from the sunshine that rushed through a thick window heavily barred. Barred...like a jail cell.

Panicking, heart-racing, she looks around the narrowly built room. She sees the officer standing out of the cell, talking away on his phone using the exact lines of "That insufferable diva has just woken up. 'Bout time too...You'll come get her? Careful. She has an STD and a clear reputation for seducing sinless men such as yourself. But it's-"

Megumi cringed visibly and let out an ear-piercing scream when she remembers EXACTLY what the events were from last night…..

(flashback to last night….)

Drinking at a bar after receiving distressing news concerning a love life was definitely an overused cliche in many novels, yet Megumi's clouded mind could not care less. She had been sitting at this dim corner of the bar for the past two hours, downing glass after glass of Sherry and mulled wine as she struggled to process what Aiko and Asami had relayed to her. Mei was pregnant. Pre-gn-ant. Something Yamato was happy about and worried over her and his unborn children. Something that she could do without but something he wouldn't. Couldn't. Why did she have to be this unfortunate? As long as Kitagawa could remember she had never had anything she truly wanted in her palm. Sure she had fans and boys claiming to be her love, yet none truly knew her, none truly cared to. She was only another pretty face on a famous magazine, something idolized yet not considered to be 'human,' if that makes any sense. Even far back as a child she had always felt this way. Makeup, loneliness, unusual hair. She was never accepted, never loved.

What did a person so far detached from the norms of society do to live life, not just exist like a notebook waiting to find its conclusion in a trash heap or buried in an attic for years on end? Megumi's rival, Mei, had already found it long ago in the arms of Yamato. But what about Megumi?

Megumi watched the street light flicker in the dark depths of the river as she staggered in that direction, placing one foot before the other, stepping and standing tall on the narrow ledge. People passed her. People whispered. They called her 'unfortunate,' 'crazy wit,' ' better off in the afterlife where society could rest' and her 'counterpart would never do something so selfish.'

Megumi scoffed at the irony of it all and began to tilt forward. She was through with living…..

(endflashback)

Megumi glared at Kai after he filed out the papers for her release and counselling sessions. "You should have let me die, sink like a rock to the bottom of the serene body of water. This world would be better off without me anyway. You would benefit from it too right?"

Kai shrugs. "I cannot allow someone in such duress to make crucial decisions at this point in time. Even if you are my enemy and everyone else's. I am no sadist, wanting to see such misery."

Megumi spins toward the opposite direction on her heel. "I didn't ask you to."

(A/N): How was that?! Normally I think of Megumi as a cruel backstabber but figured it needed more texture and a reader suggested a KaiXMegumi moment. ThX and sorry I don't remember your name!