A/N - DON'T LIKE, DON'T READDDDDDDDDDDD!

If there's one thing I love, it's cake.

Not the kind of cake that makes you puke rainbows and burp sugar crystals; no, I'm talking about the cake that you shove up your butt. That kind of cake is the best thing ever, don't you think?

Oh, wait, I'm getting a bit sidetracked.

Anyway, I'm this hedgehog with this uber massive rainbow cape and rainbow fur (A/N wiat, do hedgehogs have fur?) Anyway, I have butt sex with Sanic every weekend. Amy sometimes joins in. I hate Amy. I can't believe she stole my beloved Sanic, my one and only truw love.

Oh, wait, thaty's Shodow.

Shodow is the person I love. Sanic's just my sex buddy. Stupid Sanic. Go back to your whore called Amy!

Amy hates cake. That's why she's a whore. Anyway, my names Ammeline Roosevelt Pooppants. I can't believe my name is the shame as that whore! UGH!

Cake.

I like to party on fridays with vector. He's a cool dude, the only one who doesn't have butt sex with me. WHY DO BOYDS ONLY CARE ABOUT SEXXXXX?

Oh, look, it's Sanic now. What could bhe want?

"Amme..." Sanic begins saying in his cutely voice.

"Yes, what do you want?" I snap, clenching my jaws.

"Cake..." Sanic begins licking his lips, and I know exactly what he's wanting. He wants me.

"Come into me...or my house, Sanic," I say, rubbing myself against him

Crazy buttsex happens.

"Wow, that was awesome!" I say, smiling.

"No problem, anything for you my sweet," Sanic says, and I wave him goodbye.

BEST NIGHT EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!1

It would still be better with Vector, though.

Ayway, since I like cake, I go to Cream's house and ate ger pie. She wasn't pleased.

Cake.

Atll I care about is cake. IT IS JUST MY PERSONALITY, DON'T JUDGE, ASSHOLES!

*cough* as I was SAYING...!

My fave food is cake, LOL. i get really huper off of it, i'm stariting to thing that it's a drug. Pah, damn you PORTAL FANS who say "th cake is a lie". IT IS NOT A DAMN LIE, OKAY?/

Pah, lol, I'm so posh. I didn't use contractions themn. OH WAIT, i did. Wait, what are contractions? Some fany word I learned in school I guess LOL.

Anyway, my character is too perfect for you lazyyyyyyy readers! why are you even reading this? write your own damn fanfiction! GOSH!

WAIT, come back, i'm sorry. I'm on my period.

Maybe that's why I'm wanting cake so much. I'm on my period. LOL, I SAID THAT TWICE!1

ANyway, I went to Cream's house and ate her cake and pies and she cried. what a shame. I DON'T DEAL WITH KIDS VERY WELL, OKAY?

OKAY.

FAULT IN OUR STARS REFERENCE FOR ALL Y'ALL LAZY READERS! COME GIVE THIS GIRL A HIGH FIVE!

Wiat, I'm a girl?

Lol. it's only boyds that get so aggressive. Silly me. I like cake.

haha, i'm so random.

ayway, some girls were bowing down to me as i was walking home with a smile on my face. My boyfirend, Shodow (okay, we'v e been dating for two months, i forgot to mention that LOL ) looked at me mysteriouslty. He caught my eye and he caught my eye as we drowve down in a limosine as the other supid boy vharacters, including vector, we're trying to have sexxx with me. Um, hello? I like cake too much for you LOSAHS!

I had buttsex with Shodow and we lived happily ever after. The end. OR IS IT?/