I own nothing of Dragon Age. Just Amilee.

A/N:

1: Read 'The Hare Marches On' first, it is the prequel.

2. Amilee speaks three languages: English, common tongue, and Tevene. Anything other than common tongue will be in italics when she speaks it.

3. She is NOT the Inquisitor and this will focus mostly on her relationships, rather than action.

***To my followers who have been waiting so long for me to continue this story, this chapter has been edited recently (4/10/2017) I will be editing the other chapters before I continue so please feel free to re-read. :) ****

"Locking eyes, a waning glance, mistook chance, I'm adding meaning to the words forever, broken silence, defiant, misspoke turn, will I see you again if ever..." -Stranger Ways by Anberlin

-Somewhere in Therinfall Redoubt-

Amilee Hawke found herself walking among a barrage of flaming corpses, scattered about a grassy underground structure, foreboding stone archways towering over her. It was dark and she squinted to discern where she was, studiously ignoring the scent of smoke and charring flesh. A few moments before, she'd stepped forward before the Herald, to greet the Lord Seeker who had seemed to approach them in good faith, but now...

Directly ahead of her she could make out two figures, and as she drew closer, she could make out Cullen and Josephine standing perfectly still, calm as you please. She looked at them confused for a moment and jumped as she heard a loud gasp from beyond them.

Leliana came into view, walking between the other two who seemed to just float apart and she spoke, "Is this shape useful? Will it let me know you?"

The split vocal pattern indicated it was not in fact her faithful friend, but something else and she narrowed her eyes at it with suspicion.

"Everything tells me about you," it said as it walked behind the fake Cullen. "So will this. Watch." It pulled a knife and held it around and up against Cullen's throat.

The fact this visage was the commander made her start forward, giving her fear away in that singular movement. But she quickly reigned it back, knowing this was what the creature wanted. She covered it swiftly with a feral smile. "A demon. How quaint. Am I supposed to scream in terror next?"

It's pause was brief before it dragged the blade along Cullen's neck and let him drop to the ground. "Scream in terror next?" it mimicked with her voice.

Leliana abruptly backed away as Josephine stepped forward, the same dagger in her dainty hand. The creature laughed, "Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker. I would have preferred the Herald, but you are just as powerful, if not more so." It disappeared and Amilee looked around, trying to anticipate it's next appearance.

From behind her, it asked, "Do you know what the Inquisition can become? You'll see. When I'm done, the Elder One will kill you, the Herald, everyone you care for, and ascend. Then I can be whomever I choose."

Amilee had tried to grab the offending wretch with Josephine's face, but it was gone before she had turned. "Come any closer and you'll see how well that works out for you. And who the hell is this Elder One?"

Once more, it laughed. "He is between things. Mortal once, but no longer." Finally stepping around to face her, it gloated, "Glory is coming. And the Elder One wants you and the Herald to serve him like everyone else: By dying in the right way."

Amilee squared her shoulders back and glared defiantly. "Big talk, demon. Blah, blah, blah. I'm a pawn, blah, blah."

The 'it' that was Josephine backed away before Amilee could grab it and walked off. Behind her came Cullen's voice, "I will not fall to your power! I am Envy, and I will know you!"

An Envy demon. So then, where the hell was she? She didn't feel her life force draining from her so this wasn't the Fade, but then where could it take her? How in the world was she not killing it?

'Cullen' walked forward. "Tell me 'Guardian', in your mind." A blacked out version of her appeared and the commander stabbed it in the back, her gasp coming from it's lips. "Tell me what you think!"

To her left, Herah appeared across the war table, the figurines upon the map set on fire. "Tell me what you feel!"

She felt a presence behind her and she turned to face her doppelganger, clutching at a wound in her belly. When Amilee looked down, she found a dagger in her hand and dropped it in horror. Her disembodied voice rang out from beyond. "Tell me what you see."

All became quiet once more and Amilee fought down the panic rising within her. Turning to the doorway leading onward, she focused on finding her way out of this hell hole. It seemed almost every time she turned a corner, the demon had some sick reenactment of events involving the Inquisition's advisers, ready to act out for her like some twisted play. The day she awoke with Casandra's blade at her throat, Leliana trying to reason with the seeker, The Herald and her fighting over leadership, the fake Amilee striking her down, declaring Herah Adaar had committed treason...

She came upon a large room with what looked like green acid pouring out from the top of the pillars, rotating to open and block paths from her. Not knowing if the environment was able to hurt her, she steeled herself and avoided the sprays as best she could, ignoring the random groups of people whispering of atrocities and reveling in the power of the Guardian's reach.

As she successfully made it through, Envy called out, "Do you see how glorious my Inquisition will be, after you die at the hands of the Elder One?"

Then came a softer, gentler voice. "You're hurting, helpless, hasty. The mirror reflects but you use the wrong face. What happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?"

Her blood ran cold and she halted her steps. A voice she never thought she'd hear again. From another time and another place, but she remembered it all the same. No. No, no, this demon could not know of him. It had only showed her images from the Breach and on. How could- Stop, she thought to herself. You're giving it what it wants.

"What are you? Get out, this is my place!" Envy growled, as if pretending it had not been the origin of the voice.

"Ugh! Just shut the hell up!" she yelled in English as she pressed forward once more. It would not manipulate her like this.

Taking a bedroom to the left, she explored, half hoping the demon would try once more, but honestly, she didn't need the reminder of her third miserable failure. When she'd cleared the second bedroom, however, as she went to exit, his voice rang out again.

"Wait."

It can't be him, it's a trap, it can't be him, she thought, trying to drill it in her head. A voice in the back of her mind traitorously countered with: The templars came from Val Royaeux, from the White Spire. He could have survived, could have followed them. Hope leapt in her heart despite the fact she didn't feel the familiar hum of his presence and she faced the room once more, seeking him out in earnest. She didn't dare call out his name in case it was simply the demon mimicking to see her reaction.

"Envy is hurting you. Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help. You, not Envy."

She closed her eyes and covered her mouth, reigning in the tears that threatened to fall. The voice wasn't splitting. And so far that was all the demon had been able to do. Her facade was crumbling, the emotions she'd trained to keep under lock and key ready to burst forth, to betray her innermost turmoils. Taking a deep breath, she concentrated on the task at hand, to remain in control. "How do I know you're not Envy, trying another tactic to goad me?" she demanded, fists clenching in anger.

"I am me. I'm Cole. I've been watching. We're inside you. Or I am. You're always inside you."

She gave a short bark of laughter. "I don't know. I feel like I'm going out of my mind all the time," she jeered as she finally turned to see him standing on the ceiling. "Like right now," she added breathlessly, as her heart swelled to bursting.

He chuckled, an endearing sound she'd never heard from him before. "You're still here. Envy had to hurt you to get in, is hurting you, with borrowed memories from the Herald. I tried to help, but I couldn't hear and then Envy was in you. It's harder to be a part of what you're hearing. But I'm here, hearing, helping. I hope." He shook his head, "It's-it's not usually like this."

She stood on her toes and cocked her head up to peer into his light azure eyes, barely peeking out from behind the brim of his hat. They were brighter and more full of life than she'd ever remembered. The hat was almost ridiculous, but somehow it suited him, and his clothes were now patched in places they hadn't been before. If this had been Envy, it wouldn't have progressed his look. She suddenly felt giddy, almost mad with relief at the sight of him. It was Cole, her Cole. He was alive and well.

Celebrate later, she thought. More important things need tending to. She brought herself out of her reverie, crossed her arms, and began to pace, her voice taking on a serious tone. "So Envy used the templars to weaken us, then got in my head when I stepped in the way of Herah. It wants to see who I am and become me. But you followed to help me keep that from happening."

A guttural sound came from outside and she swiveled her head to the open door. She shivered, wishing she could expel this demon with a simple wave of her hand. She thought back to the Fade when they were at Adamant and the similar disconnection she felt from all this. It unnerved her.

As she backed away from the door, Cole's voice rang out from behind her. She whirled around, finding him sitting on the headboard of the bed. "I was watching. I watch. Every templar knew when the Herald and the Guardian arrived. They were impressed, but not like the Lord Seeker."

"Right, because I so love the attention," she grumbled, rolling her eyes, missing the fact he'd referred to her so distantly. "Makes me miss my wolf form," she muttered absently.

He stared at her with a surprised expression, then tilted his head in silent question. All hope of a hearfelt reunion vanished and her chest felt hollow as he asked, "You can be a wolf?"

It was then that she realized what was off, true horror clawing at her insides. Sweet Jesus, it was him... And he didn't remember who she was.

Morosely, she brought a shaking hand to her brow and whispered her reply brokenly, "Uh, yeah. Its nice to become something else sometimes. When you don't like dealing with people. It's an escape for me, I suppose." She cleared her throat and shook her head. This wasn't the time to fall apart. "So, you've been watching the templars. What did Envy do to them?"

"They're red inside. Like the rune you wear at your throat. But you quiet the old whispers, bend the song to your will. Not like them. It twisted the commanders, forced their fury, their fight."

"They've been ingesting red lyrium? Augh! Ever since Val Royaeux, I could feel something was off." Unknowingly, she had started to pace. "Its a good thing we came for them instead of the mages. They need to be brought under control, or they'll become worse than what they fear." She took a moment to sigh. "All the more reason I need to get out of here. Well... Everyone else needs to get out," she said pointedly, raising an eyebrow at him and quirking her lips in mock disapproval.

"If it bothers you, I can make you forget," he offered matter-of-factly. "That helps... No. You'll need all of you right now to fight. Maybe later."

She stared at him in shock. Though he wasn't meaning to be callous, his words struck a chord within her.

In reponse, she deadpanned, "How 'bout never? I didn't say you bothered me. You just don't belong in my head." She rubbed at her arms, perturbed by the thought of ever forgetting him. "My memories are my own. I would be very cross if someone tampered with them, for obvious reasons." She indicated to the environment around them. "I didn't think anyone could, but apparently this is an exception."

His hat cocked to the right as he leaned against the wall, revealing a burning gaze. "Even if it helps?" he countered.

"How would it help?" she shot back, huffing in annoyance. Seeing his frown deepen from her reaction, she sighed, "I'm sorry, hun. I'm just frustrated by all this. We should be forming a plan. Do you know how to stop Envy?"

"It's your head. I hoped you'd know how to stop it."

Then why the hell did you bother - nevermind, she thought. Rubbing her eyes with her fingers, she gestured to the room around her. "It's a first time for me. Hopefully the last."

Standing up on the bed, he walked silently toward her. Cheeks heating slightly, she couldn't help but study his figure now that he wasn't upside down.

The scrawny, gangly young man she'd been so fond of had grown up. He stood taller, at least six feet, although he slouched a bit. Shoulders broader and legs thicker... It was almost mesmerizing, the coiling of lean muscle defined beneath his leathers, still conveying the need to constantly move, but it was more deliberate, more focused. Like a predator ready to strike when you least expect it. But this was Cole. It was wrong for her to think of him that way. Wasn't it?

Lovestruck idiot, he's talking, she thought with disgust, forcing her gaze to meet his once more.

"All of this is Envy. People, places, power. If you keep going, Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more." Stepping down from the bed, he moved to stand in front of the fireplace. "Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, and Envy breaks down, you break out."

"All right, so the farther I get, the harder it will be for Envy to keep up this game."

"Maybe. Without hearing, it should be as difficult. I hope it helps. It's more than sitting here waiting to lose your face."

"Ain't that the truth," she agreed absently. She touched his left shoulder, ever so slightly. Her need to hold him again was palpable, but she withdrew dispite the fact. "Thank you for being here for me."

He turned from the fireplace at her touch and paused, his sidelong glance allowing his eyes to shine at her from under the brim of his hat. "You're... welcome. You aren't afraid of me?" he said.

Amilee tilted her head and her brow wrinkled. "Not at all. Why? "

He twisted his fingers together then brought a hand to his chest, rubbing as if something pained him. "When you came I could feel it, a gentle warmth inside, drawing me to see. I saw you and I couldn't help but help, didn't think, just threw myself in."

Warmth? she thought. He'd mentioned it twice, when they were together before at Adamant, but she never knew what he meant. So he could sense her like she could sense him. That was... oddly comforting. More proof that he was in fact a spirit, not a demon.

He continued, "But I can't hear you. It took Envy breaking inside for me to hear, but even now, it's just Envy, clutching at scraps, bits from the minds of the others to shape. Confused, yet still caging, a conundrum." He started chewing his lip absently, his body a hairs breath from hers as he studied her. "Not hearing should frighten me, like it does Envy."

"It's not you I'm looking to hurt," she stated softly. "I'm sorry it makes you uncomfortable."

"No, it's alright," he replied, his expression lightening. "I'll try to make it less hard."

With that, they exited the room, making their way through the dank dungeon environment. Cole would disappear now and again, only to encourage her when she got caught in a puzzle, urging her the right way when she got turned around. It was like they had traded places from before, he the calm and steady guide and she the lost, helpless vagrant.

The visions Envy promoted to her of what it would do with the Inquisition were terrifying, but they only spurred her forward in determination, Cole's presence strengthening her resolve further.

When she reached the top of the fortress where Envy had first pulled her into her own head, she was grabbed from behind, her blacked out counterpart pushing her back against the tall red doors. It lifted her off the ground, green eyes lit and flashing in anger. "Unfair, unfair! That thing kept you whole, kept you from giving me your shape!"

Scowling and trying in vain to kick it away, Amilee snarled, "HE is not a thing, you babbling, whiny bitch! And it's not like you were getting very far anyhow, were you?"

Her goading made the demon clench it's hand around her neck painfully, growling as it tried to repeat her words and failed. "We'll start again, more pain this time. The Elder One still comes and I will have you."

Amilee looked beyond the creature, up above where Cole stood on the hand of a large statue. He watched with mild concern as he abruptly crouched down, then cocked his head to the side, smilling as if he were amused. "Remember. It's frightened of you."

As the demon turned to yell at Cole, Amilee maneuvered the creature's arm away and off her, at the same time bringing her head down firmly against it's own with a resounding crack.

Her vision went white and she was once again standing with her companions, a sharp and sudden resonance of mana echoing inside her. A wretched, lanky demon with too many limbs contorted before her to scream shrilly in pain, its true form allowing her to draw from its essence enough to hurt. Then it pulled away, dissipating into a black smoke that billowed back and back until it'd had retreated safely behind a strange green film of magic. A barrier.

"The Lord Seeker!" Barris cried, watching with disbelief.

Curling her nose in disgust as she wiped her hands on her cloak, Amilee replied, "Unfortunately, no. It was an impostor."

Herah put her hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright, Ami?"

"I'm fine. Thank-you," she said, smiling to give the Herald reassurance.

For a moment, Barris contemplated her original statement. "That monster ensured we weren't prepared. I don't even know what we're up against."

Knowing Cole would be hiding somewhere out of the way, she looked around briefly to see if she could spot him. Even in her human form she would be able to see him, as she was normally immune to any form of mind alteration.

She could now feel the hum of his nearness, past the jarring buzz of the red templars and she took a moment to raise her head up and close her eyes, staving off the prick of her tears. So thankful was she, that the young man she thought lost had returned, though he didn't know her anymore.

"Really, Amilee. Are you okay?" Herah asked urgently.

She smiled warmly for the first time in a long time over at her ward, and replied easily, "I will be." She set aside her concern over Cole and ignored Herah's disturbed look, elaborating on her initial remark. "The fake seeker was an Envy demon. Apparently, the Herald caught its fancy. I just happened to get in the way at the right moment."

Cassandra gasped from behind her, "Envy! Then the Lord Seeker..."

Saddened, Barris finished the sentence, "Is caged or dead... Maker! And my captain knew. It's the red lyrium. I knew that stuff was risky. They often give us new kinds of lyrium. Our commanders. Some used the red stuff first to prove it was harmless. The knights would have been next. That demon turned our leaders so we couldn't question when this started."

"It's clever like that. Had I not devised a way to kick it out, it would have taken my place and tricked you all just as easily."

Herah crossed her arms, looking to Barris. "You'll need your best to fight it then."

"Our best..." Barris let his eyes fall for a moment. Then he turned to find one of the scholars. "Templar. What is Envy?"

Two came forward. One cried, "A coward, brother!" The second said, "It studies, makes less mistakes. But most of all, it hides."

Barris turned to Herah. "We need our veterans. Our commanders have turned but the lieutenants may still be fighting. We'll hold the hall while you find them and the uncorrupted lyrium stores. Bring them here and I'll give you Envy."

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