a.n. So I know I shouldn't be starting another story, but this idea just wouldn't leave me alone, so I'm getting it started. Not sure what kind of update schedule we're looking at here, so beware that there may be some gaps between updates.

This is set three weeks after the Season 3 two parter, Setup/Countdown. Josh is still in the picture, but not for long.

Also, I expect this to be 10 chapters, maybe 11 and an epilogue. There will be several time jumps as we go through. As the chapters progress, I will try to give you an idea of where they would be in canon by mentioning the cases they worked on. I doubt that I'll work Montgomery's betrayal/Kate's shooting into this story at all, but that's still undecided. Let me know what you think.

While it's a Castle-focused story, this is all going to be from Kate's POV, as we watch her struggle with the news Castle dumps on her, and how that news and the events afterward affect her feelings towards her author.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle.

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Castle had been acting weird for two weeks. It had all started the week following the dirty bomb scare. At first she worried it was because of her and her relationship with Josh. She remembered the defeated look Castle had as he entered the elevator after the party that day. She had felt guilty, but still thought that Josh deserved a chance since he'd stayed in the country for her.

But that didn't seem to be the case, even though Castle adamantly strayed away from any conversation about her personal life. No, it had to be something else.

He was acting different, distant and quiet. Something was up. He'd had a doctor's appointment two weeks before, and had taken several days off from the precinct following that. She had a really bad feeling, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Sitting at her desk that Monday doing paperwork, she waited for Castle to arrive with her coffee, all the while thinking about how to ask what was wrong with him without seeming to pry into his life.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a coffee cup appearing at her side. "Good morning, Detective."

"Morning, Castle. And thanks."

"Of course," he said, not smiling. "Listen, Kate, can we talk?"

Oh no, Beckett thought. "Of course, what about?"

"Not here. Maybe the observation room? I don't want to be interrupted."

"Sure," she said, standing up with her coffee in hand. Was he going to stop shadowing her? Had he found a new muse? Was he leaving her for good? All these questions and more floated around her mind as they made their way to the observation room.

Letting him enter before her, she entered then closed and locked the door behind them. "What's going on, Rick," she asked, using his first name to show that she understood that this was a serious conversation. "You've been acting different these last couple weeks, are you going to tell me why?"

"Yes. You remember that doctor's appointment I had a couple weeks back?" he asked, looking her in the eyes.

"Yes." Oh, God.

"I had been feeling really tired for a week before that, but I was unable to sleep. At first I thought it was because of the freezer and the bomb, but something just didn't feel right, you know? So I went to the doctor after talking with my Mother." At a look from Beckett, he added "Okay, so she made me go. Anyways, they couldn't find anything wrong, but they took some blood to run a batch of tests. I thought it was just something that would pass, but the doctor wanted to make sure. But they called me in a few days after that for some more tests."

"What did you find out," Kate asked after a minute of silence on his part.

"They…" he started to say something, but seemed to have a problem finding the words. "It's cancer."

Flopping down in the chair near the listening equipment, Kate began to shake her head in denial. He couldn't have cancer. He was the strongest person she knew. Castle never even got sick. How could he have cancer?

After a couple minutes of her just sitting there staring at him in shock, tears forming on her cheeks, he continued, "Lymphoma. I uh, found out yesterday, that's why I was out all afternoon. They want to do a round of Chemotherapy and Radiation therapy before attempting a surgery."

Tears burned the corners of her eyes as she digested this life altering news. She needed to know how bad it was. It's cancer, Beckett, she thought to herself, it's always bad.

"Did they…did they say how severe it was?" she asked in a small voice.

Taking a seat in the other chair next to her, he said, "The doctor said that this is non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, which according to him has a 70 percent survival rate, with treatment. So there's a good chance that I'll be okay."

Still 30 percent that he won't a small voice in her head said. "I don't really know what to say, Rick. I mean 'I'm sorry' means so little. What... what can I do?"

He smiled at her. "I'm going to need a lot of friendly support over the next six to eight months. The doctors say that even if I survive it, it will get much worse before it gets better. I…" he was silent for a few minutes before he reached out and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. "You're the best friend I've ever had, Kate. I'm going to need you to keep being that. Even as optimistic as I am, I expect that at some point I'll lose hope, even with my Mother and Alexis around to keep my spirits up. I'm going to need you there to make sure that when that happens I find that hope again."

Nodding, she said, "I'll twist your ear and make sure you remember." He laughed.

"That's exactly what I'll need. I…" he said, running his hands through his hair. "I won't be here as often. Between the effects of the cancer and the chemo and radiation, I won't have it in me to come to the station every day."

"That's okay, Rick. I'll come to you. We'll hang out, okay? I need to be around to keep your spirits high and make sure you don't get yourself into trouble." She would be there for him. He had promised her always, and she had promised the same. She needed him to know that she would be there for him through this difficult time. Still reeling from the news, she wondered how Martha and Alexis had taken the news. "Who have you told?"

"I've told the three most important women in my life, that's it. Paula doesn't know yet, but I'll be telling her today so that she can keep the press off my back. I'll tell the boys and Montgomery later today." Three most important women? Kate thought. When did I become so important to him? "There is something else that I need to ask of you, Kate."

Tightening her grip on his hand, she said, "anything."

Taking a deep breath, he ran his free hand through his hair again, looking away to gather his thoughts. "If…If something happens to me, if I don't beat it, I need you to be Alexis' guardian. I've talked it over with her and my Mother and they've both agreed that you'd be the best choice. She's 16 now, so it's not as if she's a baby, but she'll need someone to be there for her. My mother isn't the right choice. She's going on 70 years old and she's more grandmother material than mother material. Meredith isn't the right choice either for obvious reasons. So will you do this for me? For her?"

"Rick, I…" she said, fumbling over her words. Could she do this? She knew if he died, she would be a complete mess, almost as bad as she was after her mother's death. Would she be able to be there for Alexis? Would she be able to support his daughter through that tough time? I already promised I would, she realized. "Yes. But nothing is going to happen. I'll do it, but you need to fight this so I don't have to, you understand?"

Nodding, "I know. But just in case, right?" Standing up, he let go of her hand. "I need to tell the boys and Montgomery. Then I'm going to go back home. I'll try to come in tomorrow for a few hours before I go back to the doctor."

Standing up herself, she reached out and brought him in for a fierce hug. "You are the strongest person I know, Richard Castle. You will beat this, then you can come back and annoy me for hours on end. You have to beat this, you hear me? You promised me always, so don't you dare break that promise."

Hugging her back, he said, "I'll try."

Letting go of him, she wiped the tears off of her cheeks, trying to get ahold of her emotions. "You'll do better than try. If you go and die, I'll resurrect you then kill you myself. Lanie will help."

"Of course," he said, smiling.

They made their way out of the interrogation room after making sure they were presentable, both of them having shed some tears during their conversation. Kate felt like the world was spinning out of control. She had known it was something bad. She had just assumed that he was sick of following her. She had never thought that it could be something as serious as this. She couldn't fathom her world without this loving, caring, childish man. She needed him by her side. She needed him always.

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TBC…

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a.n.2. So I know that this may seem OOC for either of both of them from a conversation standpoint, but hopefully it will appear less so as I continue on.

I will apologize now for any medical inaccuracies you find in this story. I'm not a doctor or even in the medical profession. Any 'facts' come from internet research, and as you know it has to be true if it came from the internet.

April is National Cancer Control Month. If you want to find out how you can support Cancer research you can go to for more information.

Reviews are love.