NOTHING PERSONAL

CHAPTER 1- AND WHERE THE OFFENSE IS, LET THE GREAT AXE FALL.

AUTHORS NOTES

AU take involving a very different Naruto.

This fic is multiple pairing.

Warning;

'This' means someone is thinking.

Italics alone means the name of something, i.e. Jinchuriki, Katon Jutsu.

Horizontal ruler (a line across the page) means a page break or timeskip. It may be a few minutes, it may be a few hours...

-X- means a scene change, i.e. we start with Naruto in an office then we go to Naruto alone in the street.

Disclaimer; I do not own Naruto or any of the characters or ideas involved. This is non-profit-I am making no money from this.

A man who desires revenge should dig two graves. - unknown

He who plots to hurt others often hurts himself. - Aesop (c.620-560 BC)

You cannot get ahead while you are getting even. - Dick Armey.

After the death of Uchiha Itachi…

"Like you Sasuke, I am a survivor of the Uchiha clan…"

Those words echoed in Sasuke's head as the true last of the Uchiha stumbled onwards. Everything felt wrong- numb since he had left that cave. He had woken from his battle with Itachi, seen a strange man in a bizarre looking spiral patterned orange mask.

A dark ancient sounding voice had babbled something… he had a sharingan. Was he the one who assisted Itachi in slaughtering the Uchiha clan?

He'd never know, as soon as the stranger began to remove his gaudy mask… a ghost appeared… of sorts… the Amaterasu, Itachi's Amaterasu- erupted from Sasuke's left eye in a blaze of pain for Sasuke and sheer terror for its target. The black flames leapt forth and consumed the mystery man- striking him in the face. The fire or whatever the hell the black construct was, killed the masked man erasing his face, neck and part of his chest before vanishing into nothingness. Fighting through the pulsing agony in his now bleeding eye had stared in disbelief at the headless corpse for… hours it seemed before staggering off out of the cave.

He had staggered for days until a pack of bandits had stupidly attacked him. He had hacked down the idiots with little conscious thought, stole their money and stumbled into a town to feel… something other than cold.

-X-

Not far away...

In the dirt track streets of Kasuka town, a mining outpost turned small settlement in Bachiatari no kuni, the land of the cursed, an ancient land of mysteries such as the striking skeletons of giant monsters and strange accidents to many who strayed far from civilizations light, strode a figure who stood out amongst the miners and traders and travelers like a diamond in a mountain of coal.

A tight white kimono of thin, silk-like, near transparent material shimmered in the evening light showing off the amazing figure of a woman; an hourglass figure with her body curving inwards from her upper body with an almost cliff-like fall like drama before exploding out again in wide hips attached to powerful legs that seemed a mile long. However, the thing about the woman that truly drew all attention like moths to an inferno were her 'assets'.

To put it mildly she was well-endowed. Her breasts would give the sannin slug princess a run for her money. Rising up and out from her chest, pushing against the thin fabric of her kimono with such volume anyone would have cattily said she was padding if the kimono didn't have a dip in the folds at the middle showing a daring, if not scandalous amount of upper and mid bare cleavage to the naked eyes. As she moved, or even breathed heavily, the mounds bounced slightly, as neither bras nor chest wrappings could hold their astonishing volume in check.

The kimono had long sleeves, ended just above ankles with a dramatic slit down one side with what looked like a corset around her waist. Both the corset and the kimono were white with a black dot pattern over the arms with sleeves to the wrists. She wore high boots, no gloves, but white bands over her forearms with the same dot pattern.

She looked strong and powerful, smart and sexy, cold and dangerous if you bothered to look.

One such person who did look was Toshiro, a twelve year old who turned to pick pocketing for the local crime boss after his dirt poor parents sold him to pay off a debt.

Toshiro figured the big chested lady was some wealthy merchant's trophy wife out shopping. Sneakily he maneuvered close to the taller woman intended to glide past her with a handful of money.

His hand swept out-and missed as the towering blond moved out of the way at the last possible second. Toshiro felt terror as something brushed against his hand. The mystery blond continued walking as though nothing had happened. Toshiro ran into a nearby alley heart racing in terror. He saw a strange dot on his hand. Confused he rubbed at it thinking it a grease stain.

Toshiro had no way of knowing it was a seal, an example of Fuuinjutsu; contained inside was a fast acting nerve toxin that entered his body through skin pores, mixed in with the blood, flowed to the heart and caused the cardiac muscle to stop pumping blood around the body. Toshiro the thief died in the alleyway a victim of the venom touch sealing technique of assassins skilled in sealing jutsu.

Moments later the sealing construct collapsed and disappeared, the toxin in the now corpses blood stream broke down becoming near untraceable.

Not a trace of regret showed on the intelligent and lovely features of the kunoichi known as Samui. She coldly moved on, she hadn't gotten dressed up for a common pickpocket...

-X-

Sasuke didn't know where he was, he had escaped from the cold darkness of the cavern and found himself in a windy eerie graveyard of monstrous giant skeletons. He had stumbled down a deadly silent mountainous region in a daze, not knowing what to do now that Itachi was dead.

Sasuke didn't remember how he made it into this town. He didn't bother to look at the name, he just felt himself pulled to the lights, the warmth of… something.

He sleepwalked into a bar- he'd never been in one, and his first one ever looked like a dump, constructed of uneven, worn down wood with a foul smell in the air. Possibly from the patrons, mostly unkempt miners and whores.

Sasuke had never drunk even Sake even after all he'd seen and done. He blinked.

'Might as well toast now that I… truly am the last of the Uchiha now.'

A passed a group of sailors complaining about a fierce storm in the sea blocking trade routes from Kasuka town to Kumo's western ports.

Bonelessly, he sat down at the bar counter. The missing nin still wore the costume from his battle with Itachi, clothing torn, burnt in places. The cloak he wore was stolen from the masked man's place.

He ordered some Iron country Whiskey- he remembered his father drank it once. It seemed to make him happier.

'God, I really am the last… There's no one left… There's nothing left of us…'

He took a single gulp of the liquid, and spat most of it up again, choking as it burned his mouth and throat.

"Kafkaf! Fuck!" His despair broke as he looked around and wondered how many of the rough dangerous men in the bar saw him make a fool of himself.

"So you see... Takagi... there's this magic godtree... an' this princess eats the fruit of this tree an' she becomes... like a goddess! And she gives birth to all a da' ninja today!"

"Man, that's the most retarded thing I've ever heard." He narrowed his eyes at the clearly crocked man. "What the hell are you smoking?"

"Opium." He answered matter-of-factly.

"You really shoulda quit a while back." He shook his head as he paid his bill.

'Guess no one noticed me...'

The brooding Uchiha jumped as a voice came over his shoulder; dignified, strong, feminine.

"Ambitious choice. You should try a less strong drink first though."

Sasuke turned in annoyance. and froze, alcohol blurred eyes widening and staring at the stunning stranger; icy light blue eyes that showed both intelligence and control, fair-colored skin, and golden colored hair arranged in a short bob style that framed an intelligent and lovely face. She wore a white kimono laying across a tall curvaceous figure with a corset-like garment around her trim waist that fit tightly around her body showing her voluptuous physique.

What was most striking about the stranger was that she had very large breasts that were wonderfully showcased as she deeply bowed introducing herself.

"I am Samui. And you would be…"

The dumbstruck Sasuke missed her intro as he gawked at her; She looked like one of Naruto's sexual fantasies… actually she looked like one of Naruto's 'repeats'; huge breasts, voluptuous figure, long powerful legs, a pretty face framed by a not unappealing bob cut- with her over-sexualized appearance he bet she was popular with the boys- probably that letch Naruto had fucked her twice- it seemed the idiot ANBU had screwed everything else with a vagina.

The pair sat, Sasuke muttering and complaining to his drink, to his mystery guest, to thin air. Samui calmly listened and downed her alcohol with much more ease than the increasingly plastered Uchiha.

Despite being drunk Sasuke's brain clicked into gear enough to collect his thoughts; Itachi was dead. The murderer of his clan, his family, was dead. He was dead. His family was avenged. They could rest in peace in the afterlife. All his years of training and cutting him off from others had paid off.

'What do I do now?'

He truly was the last Uchiha now.

Even assuming he cared enough to count, Sasuke would have had no idea of how much he'd drank, his flawless vision showed him blurs of the world around him- colors brighter, beautiful, his body felt warm but he didn't feel any happier. His vision blurred and he felt sick. The mystery blond had finished her drink and didn't even look buzzed.

"What… what do I do now…?" He really had no idea. His whole life was centered around revenge, there was nothing else.

"Hmm, I have some ideas…" Samui took Sasuke's jittering hand in hers in a steel hard grip. She walked off pulling the bewildered Uchiha with her much to the bars patron's disappointment.

-X-

Unbeknownst to the pair, amongst the miners of Kasuka town was a spy for Konohagakure, a chunin named Cho who had been tasked with monitoring mining and selling of antiques and lost civilization relics on the black market.

Cho discreetly left and reported his findings via a giant avian summon that could use chakra enhanced winds to fly at supersonic speed.

'I only hope Konoha sends a force to deal with Uchiha in time, between his Uchiha blood, sharingan and whatever knowledge and powers he acquired from Orochimaru there is truly nothing that fiend can't do...'

-X-

Sasuke sat on the bed head down, looking at the floor red faced. Behind him sat a voluptuous blond woman. Both were undressed and breathing heavily.

The woman spoke first; "It's okay Sasuke. You've been through traumatic times, so it's no surprise that you... weren't able to perform." The voice was calm, intelligent- so unlike the seemingly perverse form it flowed from.

Sasuke was humiliated and angry- it burned the alcohol from him.

After stumbling into an unknown bar in an unknown frontier town in an unknown country and deciding to get drunk for the first time in his life he had met a female who wasn't a shrill, useless fangirl and… They ended up in a hotel together and they undressed and he… couldn't perform. Sasuke turned to the alluring mystery woman who called herself Samui.

"I want to try again."

"Fine but I'm in charge this time." She stated flatly.

Sasuke was once again taken aback by meeting a female who actually had self-control and dignity. "...Okay?"

The bed creaked loudly and scraped across the wooden floor as Samui dived on top of Sasuke who stared up in disbelief as he was knocked back down.

The rogue ninja gasped as Samui worked his body with fast and nimble hands and mouth. She straddled him. The blonde had shed the kimono revealing plain white undergarments; plain white briefs and a bra that looked ready to snap under the weight of the huge mounds of meat they held up.

Battle calloused hands crudely groped her- his inexperienced hands nervous, grasping and uncertain. He gaped and smiled stupidly overwhelmed as he pawed at her voluptuous body. He squeezed her ass gasping as his fingers sank into the ample flesh while looking up he gulped at the bosom so large it blocked the blonde's lovely face from his view. Even though it was held within a bra it bounced in a way that was hypnotic to the male beneath.

Pressed down on the bed under this amazing woman's power, Sasuke couldn't remember a time when he felt this alive. It wasn't the surge found in combat but something unfamiliar to him. He couldn't think of anything beyond the power of the soft thighs wrapped around his waist, the feel of hands and nails and lips across his body, the heat from her lovely body.

Samui felt the lust and fear coming from the male beneath her and knew how to direct it, control it, she had a lot of experience. She ran her nails up and down the drunkenly smiling males' chest and the Uchiha had the weirdest image of knives stabbing into him, the blond atop him smiled and he had another feeling of fear run through him.

Samui adjusted her position; her improbably perfect curves a stark contrast to the effeminate male beneath her. She seated herself atop Sasuke's slender form, grabbed the slightly smaller male by his head and pulled the shocked teen up roughly- he didn't resist(he realized he seemed to like the rough stuff), and locked her powerful legs around his waist, her ass cheeks molding around his rock hard erection still in his garish purple undergarments. Sasuke was near eye level with Samui's huge bosom and he stared open-eyed as the blond pulled her overworked bra down.

Samui's legs scissored out then snapped shut back around Sasuke's lean body locking his arms to his sides. Before the wide-eyed Uchiha could think, Samui grabbed his head and buried it between her breasts. She pulled Sasuke's head forwards while squeezing her already massive breast together making them squash and expand further from her body to the point where they covered her companions' ears.

Sasuke's eyes widened to darkness as his head was covered by Samui's overflowing cleavage. Soft, hot flesh covered Sasuke's cheeks and ears and the Uchiha heard Samui's deafeningly heartbeat (or was it his own?).

Still with a drunken grin on his face, Sasuke nuzzled against the soft walls of flesh his head had been inserted into. His vision was black as Samui's body blocked his sight, his other senses were in overload though;

Touch, heat flowed through Sasuke's red-hot skin as soft flesh molded over his face, his forehead and nose touched her sternum proper while her mammaries covered seemingly his whole head. The back of his head meanwhile was held in a vice-tight grip in hot, strong fingers.

Sasuke's mouth opened and a mouthful of tit flesh entered. Sasuke licked it loving the taste, sweet, sweat but also a soap or oil had recently been used on her smooth, soft skin. He pulled back to get some air but Samui held his head deep inside the valley of her cleavage- the grip on the back of Sasuke's head- in his hair was iron solid.

Sasuke commanded his arms to rise up and throw the blond off but amazingly his arm strength proved insignificant. Samui's legs, locked around Sasuke's waist like a sensual boa constrictor increased their grip putting incredible pressure on the now oxygen deprived teens waist and chest. He panicked and began thrashing in the now life-threatening woman's grip. Creaking sounds as ribs cracked were hidden by the sounds of the bed the pair were on shaking and grating against the floor as the suffocating nukenin struggled in his fleshy prison.

The trapped ninja instinctively commanded his chakra to rise, transform into lightning and fry the clearly crazed bitch- except his chakra ignored him- no sparks. In panic he attempted fire and inhaled a mouthful of heaving mammary gland.

He tried to shout out but the sounds were muted by the flesh pressing against him. The bed creaked and shook violently as Sasuke panicked and thrashed trying to escape as he was smothered and crushed in Samui's grasp.

Still sitting, Samui coldly, slowly increased her grip on her victims waist, her hugely powered thighs closed tighter and tighter cracking Sasuke's ribs and squeezing the breath out of his burning lungs as she held his head locked in her bosom prison. The poison lipstick she wore, while tasteless, had negated Sasuke's ability to build and manipulate chakra so he had no way of breaking loose given Samui's incredible, well trained musculature. She held him tighter, tighter until the Uchiha stopped thrashing and the resistance of his arms and chest disappeared.

Samui didn't loosen her grip though- she went harder, crushing bones, squeezing organs and blood vessels, making absolutely sure her target was dead.

Sasuke's lungs burned, his chest was being crushed- he needed air…

His eyes rolled into the back of his head.

Uchiha Sasuke died, asphyxiated between the abnormally large breasts of Samui, member of Kumogakure Remote Acquisition Squadron.

Samui took a breath. She flipped her hair back her expression one of minor annoyance.

'The things I do for Raikage and country…'

-X-

Later…

Samui had sealed away the dead Uchiha's intact body inside one of her human remains scrolls, or as her associate Karui would call it "her scrap pile". As a member of the Remote Acquisition Squadron, also known as the "vulture Squadron" Samui's duty was to track ninja in possession of unusual physical abilities such as Kekkei genkai, drug enhancements, seal enhancements (like the recently deceased Orochimaru's curse seal of heaven) and acquire a sample of the blood, chakra or their intact body. The organization wasn't popular due to doing a lot of grave robbing in older days, with ninja villages burning the dead the RAS mostly did theft from ninja hospitals, private homes, battlefields and on rare occasion, assassination like Samui just expertly performed. Samui considered herself the best at what she did as she never failed or screwed up and got infamous like so called legends like, Konoha's Sannin or the sand villages Akasuna no Sasori.

It didn't pay to be well known in this business.

Behind her; a bell connected to cables that attached to an opened scroll via cables that vanished into continuous blue light rang in a light continuous chiming.

'The sensor seals I set up around town…' She manipulated the open scroll and in a blank margin black ink shifted like a swarm of ants and an image of a man took shape. A man Samui recognized from a very dark and stupidly flamboyant reputation.

It was Konohagakure's "charming killer" Uzumaki Naruto.

'Hm. Time for a double header…' She quickly showered preparing for her next target.

-X-

END CHAPTER 1

AUTHORS NOTES

Yes Tobi is dead in this- Itachi's trap with Amaterasu worked.

Kasuka (Hazy) Town; original village located relatively close to the mountains graveyard, formed relatively recently by miners who struck it rich.

Bachiatari (cursed) No Kuni (Land of cursed); my name for the land the Mountains Graveyard is located in.

Ancient Civilization; my explanation as to why advanced technology appears randomly in canon like computers at the hospital, security cameras and a VHS player at the Chunin exams.

Venom Touch (C Class Fuuinjutsu); original jutsu, it is a seal that can applied to a target with a single finger and release poison into their body. Experts link the seal with poisons that break down in the blood and modify the seal to self-destruct after target death to remove evidence of how the target died.