Copyright, Aviatrix8, 2015. Kill la Kill and all related characters are property of Trigger, and are used without permission.

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A short, silly take on the creation of Probe Regalia Mk 1.

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Kill la Kill fanfic:

"I Touch Myself (because I'm covered in keyboards)"

by Avi

"It's nice to see you again, Inumuta," greeted Iori.

Inumuta politely shook the tailor's profferred hand. "Same here. Now, about this consultation..."

"I simply wanted to share my some of my ideas on designing your Goku uniform. Feel free to add your input, as well."

Inumuta nodded. Iori opened the sketchbook he'd been carrying, and pulled a pencil from behind his ear.

"Now then..." began Iori. "I remember from your fitting that you seemed very ticklish."

Inumuta frowned. "Yes, it's something I'm not exactly proud of."

"Well, we can't have that... Being so sensitive to touch is a weakness, which I'm sure I can compensate with with your uniform." Iori doodled in his sketchbook. "I'll make sure that it covers as much of your skin as possible, as a protective measure."

Inumuta blinked. "That's very thoughtful of you."

"Don't mention it. I'm basically designing battle armour over here, and as such, it should expose as few weaknesses as possible."

"As for your transformation, I would recommend something form-fitting and skintight." Iori noticed the expression on Inumuta's face. "Don't worry, I'll make it completely flattering to your body."

"I don't doubt that," replied Inumuta slowly, who was clearly having second thoughts about the tailor. "I was just wondering how that would possibly help me, if my skin is already so sensitive to touch; won't I just feel the battle damage more?"

"Don't worry, I have a plan on how to desensitize yourself." Iori showed Inumuta what he had been sketching in his book.

Inumuta stared at the drawing. The first thought that came to his mind was, "Why it is so skimpy?" The second one was...

"Why are there keyboards all over my uniform?"

"Your specialty is data manipulation, correct?" said Iori. "And I've seen you type... I figure having you input data constantly, should desensitize your skin enough that'll you'll hardly feel ticklish at all."

"Yes, but..." Inumuta grimaced. "Everyone will make fun of the fact that I touch myself in public."

"Only because you're covered in keyboards."

Inumuta rolled his eyes. "Do you plan on putting keyboards on my ass, too?"

"Now, that would just be silly," said Iori. "You'd be typing gibberish whenever you sat down."

"It's about as silly as having keyboards all over the rest of me!" retorted Inumuta. "Why don't you just put a power button on the back of my head, too?"

Iori raised an eyebrow. "You mean, as a failsafe? Interesting..." He made a note in his sketchbook.

Inumuta glared at the furiously sketching tailor.

"You're just screwing around with me now, aren't you?"

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For the record, I adore Probe Regalia Mk. 1... It's just easy to make fun of, too. ;P