First off, I can't tell you how much I enjoyed writing this! My first Naruto fic! Also, this has been half written for at least three years and for some reason I felt like putting it up now when I have two weeks of exams (to grade) coming up. That's always a good idea.

In any case, I must thank Emarilily for her accurate and thorough observations as well as constant stream of comments! Without her, who knows if this would as good (by my standards). I realize perhaps only a handful of people out there might appreciate this, and no offense taken if you don't, please just leave quietly. Of course, if you have constructive criticism (or, say, conjectures about the plot), then I'm all ears!

This is a slow build, and when I thought of this story, it was meant as a comedy, but somehow there's a bunch of- stuff before that (at least 5 chapters' worth). Hope you like injuries!

Quick note: For villages other than Konoha, I'll use the Japanese names (i.e, Sunagakure), for spelling I'll use a version of romaji where long vowels are represented by a 'u' (i.e, jounin vs jōnin), as well as occasionally use honorifics (sensei, sama, chan, etc). Also note that I won't pluralize Japanese nouns (kunai, etc).

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns the entirery of Naruto and VIZ licensed the anime (in the U.S. anyway). Everything else is obviously mine (including made up words).

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Disillusionist

"Aww Mae, graduation's tomorrow!" Tsuneko stopped dead in her tracks, as if just realizing she'd never be in school with her best friend anymore.

"That's what I've been saying, but you seem determined to avoid looking for a job." Maemi closed her recent-grad magazine with one hand, and inserted a few coins in the vending machine. "Still reading those kids' books?" She picked up her steaming coffee, her seemingly innocent question barely hanging in the air.

"Manga isn't just for kids." Tsuneko was as adamant as ever. "Seriously, I've been addicted for ten years!"

"Yeah, yeah..." And Maemi, taking a sip of her steaming beverage, was as dismissive as ever.

Tsuneko checked her nails for any chipping. "And we've been friends for how long now? Twelve, thirteen years?"

"Twelve. It's great that you seem so interested in our friendship. And it's not like we're about to graduate from university either."

Tsuneko lifted her gaze from her nails to her friend's teasing face. "Oh please, what difference is that supposed to make?"

"Aren't we supposed to be grown ups? I'll never understand what's so good about those- made up surreal worlds where physics and gravity don't apply." Tsuneko's eyes widened in slight horror, shocked speechless. Maemi sipped more coffee during the brief respite before her friend playfully glared at her.

"... I sure hope you didn't just say that...!" Tsuneko took a step forward, as if stalking her prey.

"I'm pretty sure I just did."

"Maemi!"

Very much used to her friend's tactics, Maemi dove to the side, skillfully avoiding her friend's tackle without spilling any coffee. "Tsk tsk. Not when I have a hot drink at my disposition..." She slightly shook the cup held at face level.

"You wouldn't."

"Try me." Smirking, Maemi tilted the cup slightly until coffee was visible from the edge. Tsuneko quickly admitted defeat and retreated to a safer distance. Both of them walked out of the now deserted halls of their university.

"I can't believe we're really graduating tomorrow..." Tsuneko couldn't help taking long glances around.

"That's what I was telling you, but it seemed your outrage at my ignorance of your hobby drove you to slight madness."

Tsuneko seemed to be jolted awake at the mention of her hobby, "Oh! Oh oh oh! I can't believe I forgot to tell you!" She was almost jumping in place from excitement.

"What?"

"Remember what my boyfriend gave me two Christmases ago?"

"Yeah, I remember... before things got 'complicated' and you dumped him."

Tsuneko scoffed and brushed that last bit off. "Anyway, I'm totally going to place a spell on it so that it can take me to his world!" Now squeaking, she was unable to stop bouncing around. Maemi raised an eyebrow suspiciously and stared at her overexcited friend for a minute in silence.

"Honestly, don't tell me you believe that stuff? A spell? If anything it'd be a curse. Besides, whichever world you're talking about, it doesn't exist. The author invented it, Tsune."

Her best friend scowled at her briefly. "No but that one works! I heard a rumor from my online friend that this old lady in a shop in Tokyo cast a spell on something once, and the owner was gone after that!"

"Oh, Tsune... What in the world am I going to do with you? Online friends, first of all, are nice, but you can never be sure they are who they say they are. Secondly, rumors are rumors for a reason. And I don't think that just because someone disappeared means they went to a nonexistent world. They could have moved to another country, died in an accident, or worse comes to worst, been murdered or something..."

Stomping the floor in frustration, Tsuneko grabbed Maemi by the shoulders and shook her like a tree. "Ughh! Don't burst my bubble! After graduation, I'm not staying in this messed up world any longer!"

Maemi smiled fondly but shook her head. "Tsune... No world is perfect, even the ones you read about."

"Yes it is! Everything works out in Konoha!" Tsuneko contradicted her, just because.

"Konoha? What's that?"

"A ninja village." Tsuneko smiled dreamily, letting her gaze wander. Maemi coughed to hide a snort and wheeled her friend around, leaving her arm across her shoulders to guide her outside.

"Right. Wouldn't a ninja world be dangerous? I don't think your athletic skills would keep you alive for long..."

Tsuneko snapped out of her daydreaming and shot Maemi an unamused look. "Gee thanks. Just because you passed P.E. doesn't mean you're better than me. You only passed!"

"Yep, I know. But that's of little importance since I have no plans whatsoever of going to a 'ninja' world, which, by the way, doesn't exist."

"Does too! You're so stubborn, why can't you have an open mind? You're not a science major, you have no excuse not to believe in myths or magical concepts." She opened the door a bit too brusquely as they finally left the university building and walked down hill and off campus.

"Oh come on, shouldn't you know by now I only believe what I see?"

"Of course..." She stopped walking on the sidewalk and glanced at her watch for the time. "Oops, gotta go. See you at the ceremony tomorrow!" Before Maemi even had time to open her mouth, Tsuneko was gone.

Well... believing the unbelievable is her specialty. Maemi headed home, about forty minutes away. Her apartment was small and consisted mostly of two rooms and a connected bathroom. The living room was one with her bedroom, separated from the even smaller kitchen by a thin paper door. Maemi dumped her school stuff on the floor and opened her small fridge to scavenge for food.

The more she thought about what her friend believed in, the more she felt Tsuneko was denying reality. Of course she'd be lying if she said she didn't believe in other worlds when she was little, but she'd quickly learned her lesson. There was no other world besides this one, and she was stuck in it. Since then, she had been concentrating on her studies in order to make this world a better place.

Tomorrow, Maemi would receive her diploma in Global Studies. Since the beginning of last year, it had been job hunting season, though nothing had worked favorably so far in this stagnant economy. Kneeling down on the floor in front of the table, she put down the steaming bowl filled with leftovers and pulled open the newspaper. She ate dinner silently, her eyes traveling quickly across the pages, reading headlines, and important names and events. For once, she went to bed relatively early to avoid her usual sleep-deprived look during tomorrow's ceremony.

⁂

Meanwhile, Tsuneko had rushed to her nearby apartment, hurried through the door and hopped out of her shoes and over the other pairs crowding the entrance. She flicked on a light and dashed to her room, pointedly ignoring the pile of clothes on the floor even as she pushed it aside to access her closet. Her face lit up in excitement as she grabbed her precious present from two years ago, wrapped it in a cloth bag and stuffed it gently into a fashionable tote bag.

She stopped on the way out by the bathroom, carefully stepping over a strewn towel, and checked her makeup. A hand ran across the profuse amount of tubes, sticks, eyeliners, colorful palettes and accessories on the tiny sink counter before she decided no touch up was necessary. Hastily, she put on a different pair of shoes – more comfortable for walking – and went right back out into the night. After checking the time, she nearly ran to the station and managed to squeeze through the closing train doors.

Thirty minutes later, she arrived in Akihabara and fought the crowd to follow the directions scribbled on a purple post-it. A while later, Tsuneko had found her destination – a tiny, old shop tucked in an alley behind Mandarake, a huge and famous manga and anime goods store – and pushed the door open with determination.

⁂

The graduation ceremony had just ended and students poured out of their seats to find their family and friends. Maemi stood near her seat, looking at the delighted faces of parents and children alike. She smiled sadly until she felt someone pinching her arm. "Mae? You okay?"

"Of course!" She briefly rubbed the pinch. "We just graduated!"

"You looked distracted for a minute..."

Maemi laughed and cut her off with a hug. "Congratulations bubble head! You made it through university!"

Tsuneko hugged her back, and chuckled, trying to put on an offended look. "Hey now- what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I'm just happy. Real world- here we come!"

At that moment, Tsuneko's parents walked up to them, smiling. "Congratulations to you both." The two friends nodded their thanks, beaming with radiant smiles. "Will you join us for a celebration Maemi? We made reservations at Tsuneko's favorite restaurant with you in mind, since you two are practically sisters." Tsuneko grabbed Mae's sleeve and tugged, nodding fervently. Maemi couldn't help a short laugh at her best friend and her uncanny puppy imitation.

Maemi's father was on a last minute business trip abroad while her mother had to go deal with unavoidable family circumstances in Nagasaki. She had, however, received two emails earlier this morning stating how happy and proud her parents were of her accomplishments. Giving in to Tsune's antics, she acquiesced. "Thank you, I'll gladly join you."

Tsuneko wrapped her arm around Maemi's neck. "We just need to drop off stuff at her place. We'll meet you there."

"Oh, you know what, it's alright, you don't need to come with me." Maemi extricated herself out of the embrace with half a smile. "I'll just quickly drop the stuff there. Why don't you go with your parents?"

"But-"

"Look, I'm already crashing your family dinner, and we have the evening booked, so why don't you spend that little time alone with your parents? They'll appreciate it." Maemi pat Tsune's back. "Just give me your stuff, and I'll be there in a bit."

Tsuneko caved in and gave her friend a stuffed bag. "Don't touch anything, 'k?" She ran off to catch up with her parents.

"Why would I? I'm a big girl!" Maemi walked off in the other direction, back to her apartment. Two train rides and a short thirty minutes later, she put Tsune's stuff on the table and dropped her keys beside it. Contently, she opened her diploma again and stared at it for a short while. Finally, she was done, and faced an infinite amount of possibilities as to what to do in this vast world. Maemi walked to the bathroom and flicked on the light to reapply some basic makeup when she heard something thump in the living room. Slightly frowning, she put down the eyeliner next to the sink and stepped back out, looking for the source of the foreign sound. She sighed in relief. The bag had just fallen off the table. How could she even think someone else was in here? Minato was one of the safest neighborhoods of Tokyo, even if she hadn't locked the door, the chances of someone breaking in, especially in her building, were slim.

On the floor, beneath the table, was something wrapped in a cloth bag. Intrigued, Maemi carefully kneeled down in her pristine graduation dress and bent forward. As she reached for the object, she felt her left hand prick the closer it approached the object. Frowning slightly, she withdrew her hand right before it touched the wrapping. Sitting straight up again, she stared at the mysterious object. Tsuneko did say not to touch anything, but it'd fallen out of the bag.

It wasn't really the fact of disobeying her friend's words that bothered Maemi, but rather the prickling sensation on her left palm. "What am I thinking." She grabbed the cloth bag firmly, about to put it back in her friend's bag. However, the object stuck to her open palm. "What th-" But the world started spinning and blurring. It felt like her stomach was being pulled down and back at the same time, as if it was being sucked into a vacuum, and her body followed. Black dots impaired her vision, her whole body felt sluggish and pricked by tiny needles, then everything just – vanished.