A/N: Hello! Long time no see, huh? You know I never thought there would be so much to this story, but this is like my baby :) Anyways, I wanted to put an author's note before the chapter to give you guys a little heads up: There is some mature content in this chapter. Though it is necessary to the story, I understand that sort of thing may not be suitable for everyone & I didn't want anyone to be unpleasantly surprised. Do enjoy nonetheless! xx

The office was packed today, full of students in need of assistance who were not currently happy with Eli. She had her hands planted on the desk, leaning in to get on the receptionist's level. The blonde knew she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, and that only made her more intimidating.

"No no no, you don't understand. I paid you already. I specifically remember filling out a check and handing it to you." The woman sitting at the computer was having none of it. She cleared her throat, putting on a smile that was a little too forced.

"Honey, it says here that you didn't pay for the semester," she placed her hand gently on Eli's.

"Now, you know that you don't actually have to pay tuition until you graduate, correct? So I wouldn't worry about it too much." Eli pulled her hand back, standing up straight and crossing her arms.

"What I am saying is that I already did pay for the semester." The receptionist clicked the mouse a few times, shifting her eyes from the screen to Eli, and back to the screen. She shook her head.

"I don't know what to tell you, dear. I'm sorry but what it says here is that the school didn't receive any sort of payment from you other than your book rentals." She jerked her thumb to her right.

"Now I'm gonna have to ask you to move along. You're holding up the line." Eli groaned, storming off. Things were not going well for her today, and this only added fuel to the fire that was metaphorically burning down everything she ever loved. Ever since she got back to America, it seemed like the whole atmosphere had changed. It all felt different, except for one thing.

As she entered her dorm, she let out a heavy sigh. Her shoes were kicked off at the door and her bag was tossed on her bed. It was late afternoon and she already considered turning in for the night. Eli didn't want to deal with this anymore, and lately she was questioning if it was even worth it. It was starting to feel like it wasn't.

Lee looked up from the desk as Eli walked in, grinning from ear to ear. It was either she didn't notice Eli's obvious poor mood, or she was just using it to her advantage. The blonde figured it was the latter. She failed to hold in an eye roll as Lee held up the painting she was working on.

"Like it? I call it: Unrequited." Eli didn't know what that word meant, nor did she care about finding out. She could just tell that she was being smug. The painting was a picture of Eli herself, which looked like it took a long time to do. As much as she didn't want to praise the other girl, it was well done. Creepy, but well done. Lee stood up from the chair, turning her music off and stretching her arms up.

"So, who put a stick up your ass this time?" she asked, walking closer to Eli.

"They lost my check, so now I don't have any money." She felt her voice shake as she clenched her fists at her sides. She didn't want to cry in front of Lee, but she knew if she talked about it then the waterworks wouldn't be able to stop. The other girl put her hand on Eli's face, lightly caressing her skin as she trailed her hand down to her shoulders. Lee stepped behind her, placing her other hand on her to massage her.

"You're so tense, sweetheart." Eli squeezed her eyes shut, using every ounce of self-control within her to stay put. She felt goosebumps as Lee touched her, coming closer to sensually whisper in her ear.

"You know I can help you out with your little money problem. Afterall…" she swiped her tongue on Eli's neck. "...without me, you wouldn't have been able to go see your little friend back in Japan, now would you?" Eli clenched her fists, feeling her anger boil in the pit of her stomach. She knew it was true; she hated that it was true. But she had to do it, because she had no other choice. Her family wasn't rich, just hopeful. They believed Eli would become a successful lawyer and be able to pay off her student loans just like that. She felt nothing but remorse.

Lee laid her down on the bed, climbing over her. Her heart wouldn't settle yet she was extremely bothered. She kept telling herself to "just do it" and "it'll be over soon," though it felt like an eternity. The other girl looked down at her as she bit her lip, the lust and obsession pooling in her eyes.

"You know you can still say no," she said, placing her hand on Eli's naked thigh. Her teasing didn't faze her. With a silent stare, Lee smirked and trailed her fingers up the dress.

"That's my girl," she murmured, never breaking eye contact. Eli's entire body tensed as Lee's hand was lost in the tenderness between her legs. She had to endure it, she just had to. Her eyes were squeezed shut as tears stung and Lee's nails scratched her. It did not feel good. Her mind was running and she couldn't stop seeing Nozomi.

"Hey, look at me." She didn't want to.

"Look at me."

Eli opened her eyes, the image fading.

"Tell me you want it." Eli's anger boiled as a tear slid down her cheek.

"I want it." Lee went deeper.

"Say it like you mean it." The blonde grabbed on to the blankets underneath her, trying to regain her composure and refusing to lose herself to this girl. She swallowed her pride.

"I want it." Lee seemed pretty pleased, sliding her fingers out and licking them.

"That's my good baby," she murmured, smirking. "You're lucky your body makes me so hot."

Eli felt anything but lucky. It was more "violated" as Lee touched her. She hooked her finger underneath the fabric of her panties and yanked them off of her. Lee's mouth was disgustingly familiar, pleasuring Eli in the most unpleasant way. Her eyes were shut again as more tears streamed. She knew what this was, and she loathed herself more so than Lee every second.

Her head was spinning with confused thoughts paired with extreme discomfort. She repeated the words "almost done" over and over again, just to convince herself that it was all going to be okay, like Lee wasn't going to harass her after today. Eli knew college was four years, but it felt like it was going to last even longer. She almost regretted flying out here, leaving everyone behind for a career she didn't even want. But she knew that this was what her family thought was best for her, and she always trusted her family.

But if her family could see her now, how ashamed they would be. Eli's toes curled and she held her breath, using all of her strength to keep any suggestive sounds inside. Soon, Lee sat back, wiping the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand. Eli sat up too, letting out a sharp breath as she felt liquid trickle down the inner of her thigh. The brunette closed the gap between them, taking Eli's lips in a deep kiss. Eli put her hands up to push her off, but Lee grabbed them and placed them on her own chest.

"Touch me," she whispered, breaking the intimacy for only a second, before her adherent lust controlled Eli completely. The blonde repressed any further thoughts or mental restrictions; she just gave in. She kissed Lee back, massaging her breasts and eliciting satisfaction from her. Her mind was blank; nothingness enveloping her as she touched her meaninglessly. This is what she's become, and there was no going back.

The wood underneath the top bunk caught her gaze each time she came back from brief unconsciousness. Eli's head was blank. The room had become dark with the passing of time, and Lee was sleeping soundly above her. She didn't really know what to feel. Her pulse had slowed and her headache faded a while ago, so she was left almost as a shell of a person. She didn't think anyone else who just had sex usually experienced this as well, which made her loneliness seep back under her skin.

Eli pushed the blanket off of her, swinging her legs over the edge of the mattress to stand up. She stepped out of her dress, leaving it on the floor. A sports bra and light-weight hoodie were slipped on, along with a pair of black leggings. Cautiously, she left the dorm, making her way down the hall to all the way outside. The main campus was ingrained in her memory now, and could easily be navigated even in the dark.

She entered the gym, walking past the weight machines and the treadmills and exercise bikes. The door leading to the yoga room was still open, and Eli silently thanked the janitor for forgetting to lock up. She closed the door from the inside, kicking her shoes off and moving the mats to the side to create space. She started out with stretching; the blonde sat down with her legs apart and reached forward, then put her legs together and touched her toes. Standing back up, she stretched her arms up to the ceiling and a wave of nostalgia hit her.

She planted her hand on the wall, standing with her feet turned out and her heels touching. Her shoulders were back, her butt tucked in, and she began bending her knees to do a plie. She repeated this in second, fourth, and fifth position, bending over and pointing her toes too. This time, she entirely unthinking, her mind satisfyingly blank. She forgot about everything else, and just focused on the placement of her arms and torso and the flexibility of her legs.

She then moved away from the wall, standing in the middle of the room. She began to practice her turns; pirouettes and piques and some in attitude. From there, the flow of her body never ceased, taking her into movements that sparked old muscle memory. She turned and lifted and drew lines in the air with her arms, breaking free of the chains that held her down. Eli's body seemingly had a mind of its own, controlling her yet setting her free at the same time. She leaped across the wooden floor in an elegant grand jete, slicing the atmosphere with her legs as she shot them up in a 180 degree angle, throwing her head back to hold on to those two seconds in which she felt she was flying.

As she came back down to earth, she dropped to the floor, panting. She didn't know how long she had been in the yoga room or if anyone had seen her. Eli just closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, thinking back to just a few seconds ago when she was dancing. That was exactly what she needed. Those moments of complete concentration, where she didn't have a sense for anything else but what movements her body was making at that time. She had been craving that feeling of unfeeling that ballerinas experience when they themselves become lost in a routine. That is what she had been missing.

Eli stood up, walking over to the window and opening it to cool down. While being refreshed by the breeze, she looked up, noticing a particularly bright star. It captivated her, holding her gaze. The star was strangely comforting, making her think about Nozomi again. She hadn't spoken to the girl since Christmas, the night at her house. She hadn't thought about what happened since then either, mostly because she didn't want to think about it. She didn't know how she felt about it, other than guilty for saying what she did to her. Eli was just confused, as a result of Lee's advances and drunk actions. She was scared of herself, of what she ultimately was feeling.

As if she were talking to the star, she said, "I'm going to make it right."