LFI 9 Holy Crap

A/N – the final chapter in Luke Fixed It. Hopefully he fixed enough to satisfy you without completely losing his cantankerous personality, and he apologizes for all the shoes that were boysenberry-bombed in the name of getting this story out to you.

"If you put the shelves up around the board, then there's space in the middle for the pictures," suggested Rory, as she and Lorelai sat a few feet away from the former hole in the diner wall. The last stage of planning for "Action Chuppah Chuppah Luke" (Lorelai's name for the project) was well underway.

"Where does the Dancing Pork Chop go?" asked Lorelai. "Maybe we could mount it to a spring and let it bounce, like a Bobble Head doll."

"That sounds like fun, I wonder if I can reserve that table permanently." Kirk leaned over to take part in the conversation.

"No way, Kirk," scolded Gypsy, "Luke doesn't reserve tables, not for anyone. And keep quiet about this; we're trying to surprise him."

Exiting the kitchen, Luke was puzzled by the weird grouping of townies in the diner. People who never sat together, like Lorelai and Gypsy, had their heads together and were whispering. Rory and Kirk seemed to be in some sort of argument. Tom and Andrew were at yet another table, drawing something on paper. He delivered the food to the tourists at the other side of the diner, then approached the group from the other side, surprising them. Andrew grabbed the papers and hid them underneath a book he brought with him.

"What's going on here? I don't like the looks of this," he growled, scanning the guilty faces surrounding him.

"Nothing!" cried Lorelai while the others all nodded their heads like the Bobble Head dolls recently discussed.

"Luke, would you reconsider your policy of no reservations? I would like to reserve a table," asked Kirk. "Ow!" he shouted as Gypsy gave him a quick kick on the shin. "It's a fair question and doesn't even bring up … mmpf! Oof!" This time Gypsy tackled him.

"I repeat, what's going on? It's hard to tell, I know, but this is even crazier than normal behavior."

"Rory's REALLY hungry, Luke," pleaded Lorelai as she elbowed her beloved daughter in the side. "The eyes! Do the eyes!" she hissed dramatically.

First squeezing her eyes closed as if she were focusing all the power into one burst, she gave Luke the 'Rory eyes' as she asked for breakfast. "Luke, you can't believe how terrible the food is at Yale. Can you please please please make me some pancakes? Made by you, not Caesar, OK? Yours are the best."

Lorelai smirked as she watched the grumpy man struggle, then saw his resistance melt away. "The eyes get him every time," she gloated to Gypsy.

"One of these days that's not gonna work and you're going to be really sorry," he muttered impotently as he stalked back to the kitchen, chased by the giggles of his friends.

The group quickly dispersed after agreeing to meet again as soon as Lorelai could convince Luke to leave for a few hours that afternoon. Action Chuppah Chuppah Luke was a go.

Lorelai flipped open her cell phone to take the incoming call. She began to curse the fact that it was her mother calling, but stopped when she remembered Emily owed her a lawyer recommendation for Luke.

"Hi Mom, so nice to hear from you," she said brightly.

"Lorelai, this is your mother," opened Emily. "Wait! What? Did you just take my call without letting it go to the answering thingy?"

"Hi Mom, my phone shows me that it's you calling. That's why I answered so promptly."

"Who are you and why do you have my daughter's phone?"

"Mom, please. Be serious." Lorelai grinned, happy to throw her overbearing mother off-balance for a second. That happiness dissipated as Luke stuck his head out of the kitchen and gave Lorelai the sign to go outside while she was on the cell phone.

She squeezed past Taylor as he entered the diner with papers in his hand.

"Lorelai, do you want my help for your friend, or not?" Emily remonstrated.

"Want, please. Thank you Mom. What's the scoop?"

"The 'scoop,' as you call it, is that your friend has a formidable enemy. There isn't a lawyer within 20 miles who would take a divorce case against Stein and Co."

"That sounds bad."

"It's not impossible, though. I talked to your father's cousin Marilyn."

"Marilyn!?" interrupted Lorelai. "Why her?"

"She was once married to one of the partners, I think the second Stein, but I can't really remember. She took him for a pretty penny, I believe."

"Which marriage was that one?"

"Umm, maybe her fourth, or perhaps the third. She can't even keep track of them, why should I? In any case, she will definitely know which Connecticut lawyers can file the papers for your friend. What was your friend's name again?" Emily asked subtly.

"My friend asked for anonymity, Mom. I'd tell you if I could," she fibbed. "So all I have to do is call Marilyn and get the names and numbers?"

"Yes, it should be pretty easy. You've still got her number, right?"

The rattling of the diner window compelled Lorelai to turn around and look inside. A shower of papers flew out of Taylor's hand as Luke and he gesticulated wildly, clearly engaged in a vein-popping shouting match. The weird thing was, Luke looked as if he were enjoying it; almost as if he'd missed it recently.

"Mom, I gotta go. Little emergency here."

"Where are you anyway, Lorelai?"

"Rory and I are at the diner, finishing breakfast. I REALLY gotta go now, Mom, but thankyouthankyouthankyou for the lawyer. I'll give Marilyn a call today. Bye!"

Barely giving her mother enough time to reply, she flipped the phone shut and dashed inside. She waved her hands defensively as she tried to get between the two shouting men.

"Hey, hey hey, you two! What's going on here?" she asked, right before she slipped and fell flat on her butt.

"Holy crap!" she exclaimed. Lorelai looked down at the purple mess on the floor rapidly staining the side of her jeans and pink suede kitten heels. "What's this?" she asked, drawing a finger through the gloppy mess and lifting it to her mouth.

"Don't eat that!" Luke yelled as he grabbed her hand and wiped it off, "It was just on the floor!"

"Take it easy, Luke, I just took a little off the top. I didn't touch anything that was actually touching floor. Rory and I have floor food down to an art form. Between the five second rule and knowing what hasn't actually been on the floor, we've saved many a dinner disaster at the Crap Shack."

He helped her up and used his towel to wipe some of the biggest chunks off her clothes. She amusedly watched him turn pink as he brushed too near some places that thrilled him to touch last night. "I'll get you a clean towel," he mumbled and retreated momentarily to the kitchen.

There was just enough goop left on her finger that Lorelai could taste the flavor. "Mmm, boysenberry." Unable to repress her evil nature, she called, "Luke, did you just throw a boysenberry pie at Taylor?"

"He most certainly did," huffed Taylor. "I was peacefully and innocently handing him a flyer or two to put up on this eyesore of a board when he practically attacked me with a slice of pie."

Before Luke could storm back out of the kitchen to defend his honor, half the customers called Taylor out on his exaggerations.

"He at least has to pay for my shoes," grumbled the shopkeeper. "There's pie on them."

Gypsy gave him the evil eye before inspecting his shoes. "Taylor, your shoes are perfectly clean, but even if they weren't, Luke should just deduct it from the money you owe him for damaging his buildings."

Lorelai stood, one shoe in her hand, observing calmly how the purple stain spread across the suede. Luke came out with a broom and dustpan to clean up the bigger pieces of pie and watched her, half-expecting signs of a meltdown.

"You're not going to tell me that those are Manolos, are you?" he asked warily. "I'll replace them if you want."

"Lucas, you know Manolo Blahniks? I'm impressed," said Taylor, with no one in the diner even wondering why Taylor knew what Manolo Blahniks were. Luke gritted his teeth and focused on cleaning up the mess.

"Yeah, Luke's got a thing for Manolos," said Lorelai, "but you don't have to worry here, honey, these aren't Manolos." She didn't need to look at him to feel the daggers shooting from his eyes.

"The only 'thing' I've got for Manolos is the conviction that they are the most ridiculous, useless waste of cowhide on the planet. Women can barely stand in them, much less walk. Charging a thousand bucks for two tiny straps of leather is a joke! That leather is probably even the leather left over after making a pair of real shoes, you know the kind people can actually walk in."

"Hey!" cried Gypsy. "Grumpy ranting Luke is back!" A general cheer rose up from the crowd, and over in Kirk's corner he made the wave, a little awkwardly since no one else participated.

Luke stood up and carried the mess back to the kitchen, followed by Lorelai, waving her shoe as she hopped on one foot. "Really, it's OK! They're off-brand and were 6000 percent off."

After a few minutes, the cleaning and mopping was done. Luke walked to where Lorelai sat on a stool at the counter, and sagged tiredly onto the stool next to hers, looking out the window at Taylor's departing form. She spun around to face the same direction as he did. Most of the other townies were still there, having apparently decided Luke's was the place to be on this particular Saturday morning.

"Luke, why do you keep throwing perfectly good pie on the floor? You know boysenberry's my favorite," teased Lorelai, pretending to lick the pie filling off her shoe.

He snatched the shoe out of her hands, saying, "Stop that." Turning it over in his hand, he asked, "Is it ruined?"

"Noooo," she gibed. "They're pink AND purple now. Pretty. Sticky, too. I can probably use them to hold paperclips or something."

"Do you need a ride home? You shouldn't walk in them. Stars Hollow's streets aren't all that clean, and I don't think you can hop that far."

"I can give her a ride," offered Andrew kindly.

"Thanks, but my pants are sticky, too, Andrew. I'd hate to ruin the upholstery on your pretty new car," said Lorelai.

"It was my mess, I'd better do it," said Luke. "I can just toss her into the truck bed and hose it down later." The audacity of his grin was only magnified when the others started sniggering.

Lorelai puffed up with indignation. "You owe me, Luke Danes, especially if the jeans are ruined too."

"Hey! Get off my stool with those sticky jeans!" Laughing, he tugged on her arm, but she kept her butt planted firmly. "Geez. Don't rub it into the stool," he complained when she started scooting her butt across the stool cushion.

She stopped wriggling and said thoughtfully, "I know what you can do for me."

"Why does this sound like trouble? This is going to cost me, isn't it?" He adjusted his cap as if wearing it would soften the blow as she made her demands. He sighed. "What is it?"

"Take down the sign."

"Which sign? The Luke's sign? The hardware sign? No way."

"Nope, a much smaller sign. That one." She pointed at the house rules sign.

"Uh-uh. I need those rules. They make this place tolerable." He folded his arms across his chest in defiance.

"No way. Those rules take away our grumpy Luke. You're our resident sourpuss." Lorelai smirked at him.

"C'mon, Luke, it's not like anybody's breaking the rules anymore, anyway," said Gypsy. "We've all learned what you expect."

"Except this one," he shoved a thumb in Lorelai's direction, "and she's always breaking the no cell phones rule. I need those rules. They keep me in my happy place. It's almost Zen-like." Scoffs were heard from the group, because no one could imagine Luke in a 'happy place.'

"C'mon, Luke," said Gypsy. "We missed your grouchiness. It's not Stars Hollow if you're not yelling at Taylor. Take down the sign."

"But my blood pressure…" he argued weakly.

"You're a health nut, your blood pressure must be lower than anyone else's here," said Rory. Lorelai grabbed her arm and pulled her directly in front of Luke.

"OK, kid, let him have it. Both barrels." Rory giggled at Lorelai's bit, but then attempted to prepare the Rory face.

Luke sprang from the stool and retreated behind his counter. "You stay away from me, you – you – you with the eyes!" Catching Rory's eye, he gave her a quick wink.

He glared at Lorelai. "You're not playing fair." He looked down for a moment, hardly able to repress a smile at the girls' teasing.

"This is not a game of honor, Luke. This is guerilla warfare. We have to use every weapon at our disposal."

He looked at Rory, just not for too long, and never directly in the eyes. "Kid, you do know she's using you as cannon fodder, right?"

Rory smiled and said nothing, just looked at him. That unnerved him. Rory choked down a giggle. He pulled away, pressing himself against the back counter, wishing there were an escape route behind him.

At that moment, Luke saw his future. In winning Lorelai, he was going to start losing in so many other areas. This would be just the first.

He saw himself watching more movies than he ever could have imagined. His milk carton would be impossible to find, stuffed behind the half-empty boxes of impossibly unhealthy takeout food.

"Lower your shields and surrender your ships," said a voice from the back. Clearly there was a Borg in this group somewhere.

Town meetings. There would be town meetings he couldn't avoid, just like his dad couldn't avoid them when his mother was alive. There would be festivals, which led to punch, which led to … something he was going to have to find out, but was probably more fun than he was willing to admit today.

"You will be assimilated," said another.

There would be laughter. Crazy laughter, sweet laughter, laughter at all times of the day and night. Jokes and silliness and absurd arguments like he hadn't heard since he was a kid. There would also be grumpiness and yelling; Luke's dad was no slouch in the ranting department, but his mother was always able to bring him back with a smile or a joke.

Hugs. There would be hugs and kisses, and lying around on Sunday afternoons with nothing to do except, well, enjoy the hugs and kisses and the lying around.

"Resistance is futile," said a third.

Luke bristled at the pressure. It was his sign, dammit! He could put up any sign he wanted to in his own diner. That was true. He could live in this world with his rules plastered all over the damn building if he wanted to. He would yell at people and point at his sign and throw them out when they flaunted the rules. He would remain king of his diner.

Or he could choose the hugs, and the laughter, and the silliness, and yes, even the damn town meetings and festivals.

Luke Danes knew what a dumbass he'd been in recent weeks, no, in recent months, since long before Jess left.

He knew what the dumbass would choose.

Luke Danes chose the opposite.

He scowled at the pretty faces looking at him. "Well, hell," was all he said as he lithely jumped up on the back counter, grasped the sign, and gave a mighty pull as he landed easily on the floor, bringing the sign with him.

Kirk grabbed the sign and ran around the diner before rushing outside with the spoils of victory as the crowd inside cheered. Suddenly Luke reaped his first reward, two hugs, one stickier than the other, and broke into a rare, but soon to be commonplace, smile.

Several hours later Lorelai returned, a woman with two missions: lunch and getting Luke out of the diner for a few hours. Tom and the rest of the townies were ready to go as soon as she gave the signal.

"Luuuke," she called as she entered the diner. The place had emptied out after the lunch rush and they were nearly alone, just the occasional patron here and there.

"Oh, hey," he said, coming out of the storeroom carrying supplies. "Did you get the stains out?"

"The jeans are still soaking, but the shoes are goners. Time to buy more shoes!" she said happily.

"Oh geez. You're seriously going to replace them?"

"Of course, they were my favorites."

"All of your shoes are your favorites," he complained. "Let me know when you're going shopping and I'll give you my credit card to buy new ones. As long as they aren't those Manolos, got it?"

"Got it. Hey, want to go shopping with me? We can go right after you feed me. Or, better yet, we can eat at the mall."

"Uh, no."

"There's good food at the mall, and all of it's served on sticks! You'll love it."

"I'm pretty sure I won't."

"What do you think about going back to the batting cages?"

"There's an idea I can get behind."

"Dirty," she said. "Tell you what. You go with me to the mall to buy my shoes, then we'll go to the batting cages and you can get behind whatever you want."

Luke stood there, mouth hanging open. That was an offer he hadn't expected.

"You're really thinking about this, aren't you?" she snickered until he grabbed her hand to drag her upstairs to get his baseball gear.

"Let's go. I'm not eating anything deep-fried, though. Or on a stick."

"Huh," she said as she let herself be pulled along. "This was easier than I thought. Gotta remember that."

A quick call to Tom after they were in the truck on the way to the mall started the wheels rolling in the diner. Shopping went amazingly well. Replacement shoes were found with relative speed, chosen by Luke himself. Lorelai scoffed at the idea that Luke could see what suited her better and faster than she could, but Luke scoffed back, and she lost when she challenged him to see who could find the prettiest three pairs of shoes on the floor.

While eating, Lorelai gave Luke Marilyn's phone number and told him the story of her divorces and how Stein and Co. really did have a lock on most of Connecticut.

"I talked to her and she said that you'll probably have to call a few lawyers before you find one who can take the job," she said, waving her corn dog in the air to help her make her point.

Luke poked listlessly at the salad he'd found at a juice and health food bar at the food court. "I feel so stupid, and now I've got to pay more lawyers even more money to fix something I never should have done in the first place. Everything about this was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid."

"Look on the bright side, Luke," she said.

"There is no bright side. Even with us, and I'm really glad we're going to have an 'us', I should have done that years ago. Stupid."

"Nope," she said patiently, looking at him as she slurped on her Orange Julius, "There's a bright side."

"OK, I give up. What's the bright side?"

"I got new shoes. New shoes make me happy."

He chuckled. "So that huge shoe cabinet I built for you is nothing more than a big box full of happiness?"

Pleased to have brought even the tiniest smile to his face, she clapped her hands. "And guess what! It's full! That means we can start planning a second one. Even more happiness!"

"Carrots make you happy. Eat a carrot," he pretend-grumbled, throwing a carrot strip at her, already trying to figure out where in her bedroom they would find space for another shoe cabinet.

Lorelai's batting session was cut short due to the shortness of her shorts combined with Luke's over-enthusiasm to 'really get behind whatever he wanted.' He did at least take the opportunity to burn off some of his self-recrimination by spending a longer time in the cage himself.

While he batted, Lorelai took the chance to call Tom and find out that everything was set up and ready to go.

As they parked in front of the diner, Luke said, "Still looks empty in there. I'm going to take a quick shower before the dinner rush starts. Do you want to stay or maybe come back later?"

She smiled, a little nervous and anxious, wondering how well Luke would accept the changes to the diner. All of the changes he'd liked lately were changes he'd made himself. There was always the chance that this would send him into another rant, or worse yet, he'd hate it.

"I think I'll stay for a little while, you know, drink some coffee for a change." She clasped her hands together nervously, arching her eyebrows in hope as she swayed back and forth.

He raised his eyebrows at her 'for a change' remark, but was pleased that she wasn't going to leave quite yet. "Great. Let me tell Caesar that I'm back, …" He looked to the side. "What the hell?"

Dropping his bag on the floor, Luke approached the new shelves with Lorelai close on his heels. He ran his fingers over the familiar wood, feeling a few new gouges and dents thanks to Taylor's handiwork.

"My dad's shelves," he murmured.

"And the dancing pork chop," she giggled. "He bounces now." Using both hands, she picked up Luke's baseball gear and carried it behind the curtain, getting it out of the way as he focused on the shelves.

One by one, Luke touched everything he thought he'd lost, naming them: the cubbies for gaskets and washers, an old radio, his dad's socket wrench set. His voice thickened as he spoke, memories flooding back.

Tears threatened to fall from her own eyes as Lorelai rubbed his arm to comfort him. As he noticed the pictures on the board he'd mounted to cover the window, she said softly, "Rory and Harry put this layout together. The pictures came from everyone."

He smiled at the myriad images. His parents with him as a toddler. Rory only a few years older. Mia and his mother on the back porch enjoying a lemonade. A young Mayor Harry on inauguration day. Andrew, Gypsy, more townies than he could count. Not far from the center of the board, a candid snapshot of a young couple enjoying a picnic in the gazebo. The man looked affectionately at the woman, almost as if he were saying, "This is nice."

"Who took that?" he asked, pointing to the picture of him and Lorelai on Basket Auction Day.

"I don't know, probably Kirk," she guessed. "Nice, isn't it?"

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and smiled. "Yeah." His face glowed with happiness.

A photo of Lorelai, Andrew and Gypsy at the dump, covered in dust, told him how this happened.

"You did this, didn't you? That's why you were so dusty that day."

"We did it, all of us. We did it for you," she said with assurance. "Tom, these guys, everyone."

"No one would have done it if you hadn't led the way. Only you would be crazy enough to try something like this. Now tell me – did you do this?"

Her moist eyes darted everywhere, looking at anything but his face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken a breath.

"There's a goat." With a shaky hand, she pointed out a small wooden goat standing just behind the pork chop.

"A goat?" he asked, a split second later it became real to him, this miraculous thing she'd done. She'd done it for him. Spent hours at the dump, organized half the town, and kept it all as a surprise for him.

"A goat." He repeated himself, awed by her gesture. Using two fingers, he turned her head toward his and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You made me a chuppah."

She nodded, a shaky smile on her face. "Gilbert needed a friend. Meet Gilbert Junior."

Internally, he cursed the fact that he was still married, and couldn't kiss her senseless like he wanted to do. Instead, he squeezed her in his arms and buried his face in her hair, whispering, "Thank you. Thank you for my chuppah." She hugged back fiercely, delighting in the feel of his arms.

Still holding her, he reached over and tapped the pork chop, sending it swinging again. Lorelai tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear, noticing the dampness of the hair where Luke had rested his face.

"I lost my head over a good chop," she said as they watched Gilbert Junior stare woodenly at the dancing pork chop.

Lorelai was joking with Tom and the guys the next Tuesday when Luke appeared at the Dragonfly. Lorelai felt a thrill as he came across the porch, the walls only half-built. Her smile turned to consternation as he thrust a Luke's bag into her hands and walked right past her to the back of what one day would be the lobby.

"Tom, I uh, just wanted to say thanks. You did beautiful work," said Luke, acknowledging Tom's effort on his shelves.

"Anything to shut that one up," Tom smirked, pointing to Lorelai.

"I hear ya," commiserated Luke as he turned and made himself a liar by winking quickly at Lorelai, who by now was affronted and stood with her hands on her hips. "Be careful," he called, "There's coffee in that bag. Don't want to ruin another pair of jeans, do you?"

He turned back to Tom. "I'm guessing you had a little help?" He waved his hands at Tom's crew.

"Yeah, they all pitched in at one point or another."

"Good, I've got some bagels and stuff in the truck. I'll bring it in."

The guys settled into an impromptu break while Luke escorted Lorelai outside to a more secluded spot. "Good danish?" he asked, finding the ground more interesting than any other view at the moment.

"Mmm-hmmm," she agreed, her mouth full.

"Uh, hey, are you still up for a road trip?" he asked, more shy than he should have been, which only endeared him to her.

"You bet. Pack light layers, that's what Rory always says," She wiped the last of the danish off her lips, her brain racing ahead of her mouth for once. A road trip means he found a lawyer, which means he's going to get his paperwork filed, which means … She wasn't ready to admit it to herself that she was excited beyond belief.

"Good," he said nervously, "Good." He smiled sheepishly as thoughts similar to hers ran through his head.

"What happened? I can't wait to hear."

"Your cousin Marilyn had a few names for me to call. She talks really fast, did you know that? Of course you knew that," he reproved himself.

"My father's cousin," corrected Lorelai. "She's Trix's sister's girl."

"Trix? That's a name?"

"What can I say? The Gilmores are nothing if not inventive."

He shook his head, confused as always by Gilmore logic. "Anyway. I have an appointment with a lawyer up in the northeast corner of Connecticut. That's Thursday. If the papers are in order, he might be able to file on Friday."

"That sound promising." Lorelai was guarded. It would be too easy to presume that everything would be resolved this week.

"Yeah, although he was cautious. I sent him a copy of the papers today." He rocked back and forth on his feet, clearly nervous. "So I was kinda thinking we could just make a weekend of it, have a real break, you know? They've got a bunch of lakes, and I hear it's real pretty."

She nodded, a bright smile lighting her face. "A weekend at the lake sounds great. Did you choose a place to stay?"

"I was kinda hoping you could do that, what with being in the trade and all," he said, thinking she would choose a place she'd enjoy. "Make sure you choose someplace nice. It's my treat, 'cause you're keeping me sane on this crazy trip."

"That won't be easy, but I'll do what I can," she said. "I'll let you know when I've found a place, OK?"

He squeezed her elbow affectionately. "Great. I'll see you later, then."

Later that afternoon, when Lorelai was back home and could made some phone calls, she decided to start with Cousin Marilyn herself.

"Lorelai! It's such a pleasure to hear from you! I can never get enough of my favorite niece, you know."

"Well, that is good to hear, because I want to see you this weekend," said Lorelai happily and truthfully. Richard's cousin Marilyn was not only as strange in her own was as Lorelai was in hers, but she was also somewhat of a black sheep in her immediate family, having married four times and was open to a fifth.

"Really? That's lovely. I talked to your young friend, you know. Are you coming to keep him company, or did you just miss me too much?"

"You know, Marilyn, I'd visit you more often if I were invited more often," hinted Lorelai. "This weekend, though, I am coming with Luke."

"Aah, I see," said Marilyn sagely. "So are you the cause of the breakup or simply the reason for him being in a hurry?"

Something inside Lorelai said that Marilyn was a safe place to say the truth. She knew that Marilyn and Emily didn't have the best relationship, so it wouldn't be that she would call Emily to gossip about Luke and her. "It's worse than that. I was sorta the cause of the marriage."

"Say no more. I understand the green-eyed monster very well. Young Luke said that he married on a whim and regretted it instantly. I can imagine that if he knew what a wonderful person you are."

Lorelai giggled at the thought of 'young' Luke, and what he would say when he heard it. "We're looking for a nice place to stay from Thursday until Monday morning. Luke really likes nature and stuff. Are there any good hotels on a lake, maybe?"

"You are not staying at a hotel, young lady. I insist you use my cabin. It's on a small lake, is very quiet, there are only a few other houses, and it's yours as long as you need. I'll send the staff in on Thursday morning to make sure it's clean and is stocked with everything you need. Just give me a call when you're getting close and I'll meet you there to show you around."

"Sounds fabulous, Marilyn, I'm looking forward to seeing you again."

"On Friday I insist that you come to a party at the house. It's not one of those stuffy parties like Emily throws, it will be relaxed and fun. Plenty to drink and eat and things to do. Promise you'll come?"

"Absolutely, we're looking forward to it. We'll see you on Thursday, then." Lorelai rolled her eyes at the thought of convincing Luke to go to a party, but it was the price of getting the best cabin in northeast Connecticut.

"Luke, look! We have matching luggage!" declared Lorelai happily.

"No, I have matching luggage, and you're using some of it. As a matter of fact, you're using most of it."

"You're not packed yet," she said. "You still need something for the party."

He looked at her exasperatedly. "I need to get these papers together, you know, for the meeting; the whole reason for going. Why don't you just choose an outfit for me and finish packing the suitcase?"

"Sure!" she said as she headed for Luke's closet. Luke realized that he was probably going to regret that decision, but finding his birth certificate was a higher priority.

Luke stuffed the last of his papers into the old briefcase as Lorelai zipped up his suitcase. The thought that she might interpret the fact that he'd packed a box of condoms as a sign that he was expecting something from her that she wasn't ready to give made him feel uneasy, but not so uneasy that he wanted to stop and talk about it now. Now they needed to get on the road. He wanted to be on time and to be prepared. The sooner this was over the better.

His mood remained dour as they drove. She fiddled with her first cup of coffee, and finished it before Lorelai decided she needed to say something. "Luke, your grouchiness has reached a level never before seen by man. Can you please relax and take it easy?"

"No, I can't" he insisted. "This is too important. I can't screw this up any more." He gripped the steering wheel tighter, his jaw working as if it were trying to get him to talk.

"Luke, please stop for a minute." Her voice was concerned, and she spoke softly without trying to force him to do anything.

Instantly his attitude flipped from grumpy to caring. "Do you need a rest stop?"

"No, here's good."

He pulled over to the shoulder and stopped. "What do you need?"

"I need you to relax. If this lawyer can't do the job, we'll keep looking until we find one that does. We'll have a nice weekend and we'll keep looking until it works. Hey, worst case we'll go to Vegas. Want to go to Vegas with me, Luke? The mother of all road trips. You and me at the craps table? Five card stud?"

He couldn't help smiling at her attempt to cheer him up. "It's just that …"

"Nix on the 'just that' Luke. It's one meeting that will be over by dinnertime tonight. No matter what happens, it will still be dinnertime and we will still be hungry and I will still want to have a nice evening with you. Everything else we leave until tomorrow. Deal?"

With a sigh, he reluctantly gave up his standard process of feeling tense and worried. "Deal. Ready to go on?"

"Eastward Ho, young Luke."

"Holy crap! You call that a cabin?"

"No, Cousin Marilyn calls that a cabin. I call it a free weekend getaway."

"I like your thinking. Uh, thanks for packing my good clothes. I think I'm gonna need them."

The five bedroom luxury home rose imperiously in front of them. Dwarfed by the size of the house, a tall gray-haired woman came out the front door, clasping her hands happily in front of her. The bounce in her step and the light in her eyes was familiar to Luke – it was the same as Lorelai's.

He pulled the truck near the door and parked. Lorelai sprang out of the truck before he'd come to a complete stop, ran across to Marilyn and hugged her.

He took his time going over to them, seeing that whatever they were talking about, they had the same energy that Lorelai and Rory used when they met up after being apart. It wasn't worth trying to participate in that initial conversation, because they speed at which they caught up with each other was mind-boggling.

He fiddled with the suitcases and checked his fishing gear. As they drove around the lake to the house, he saw several quiet places that might have good fishing possibilities. He chuckled when he saw that Lorelai had included her fishing waders, recalling the time he taught her to fish in a kiddie swimming pool, perversely pleased that he'd heard she never actually went fishing with the guy.

"You must be Luke," said Marilyn as she came to the truck and offered her hand. Rather than shaking it, she clasped his hand between both of hers. "It is such a pleasure to meet you. Lorelai, you have very good taste."

"I do," she crowed, "I could tell he was special from the day we met almost eight years ago."

Luke scoffed. "You were annoying."

"And you were grumpy. It took me weeks before I got you to crack a smile."

"So, Luke," said Marilyn, sliding her hand into the crook of his arm and pulling him toward the door. "So sorry about the divorce. Were you married the whole eight years?"

"No, only since June of this year," replied Luke, starting to feel uncomfortable. "It was a kind of a weird thing. A fluke."

Marilyn turned to Lorelai. "For shame, Lorelai. You let him hang all those years? I blame you for his predicament."

Lorelai sputtered her innocence while Luke laughed out loud. He quickly made sure Marilyn was apprised of the true story, unwilling to let Lorelai take the blame for his mistakes.

After showing them the house, garden, and lake, and explaining the little quirks about the boat, they walked her to the door, again thanking her for her hospitality.

"Never mind that. You'll pay me back by being a breath of fresh air in my stale old parties."

"More like fresh meat," quipped Lorelai.

"Hush, you. Luke, if Lorelai gives you any more trouble, you come to me. I'll take you myself, or if I'm already married again, then I've got lots of friends. Good, funny ones, not like Emily's DAR friends. Now you two enjoy your FYBO weekend, and I hope everything goes well with the lawyer."

They walked out front with her and waved her off, then emptied the truck. Lorelai, red-faced and quiet after Marilyn's use of the acronym FYBO, said almost nothing, which went unnoticed by Luke as he spoke enthusiastically about the boat and the lake.

"Man, this is a nice place. It's been a while since I've been out on a lake this nice. What's the DAR, by the way?"

Lorelai laughed nervously. "Daughters of the American Revolution. It's a charity thing my mother belongs to. Bunch of uptight, rich witches."

"And what was that other word? Hmmph, can't remember. Did it have anything to do with the DAR?" He cheerfully set their gear in the foyer.

"You'd be surprised," answered Lorelai cryptically. "Don't you have to get to your appointment?"

"Oh man, yeah! I'd better get going. You're gonna be all right here?"

"Sure. Marilyn's taken good care of us, and I promised both Sookie and Tom that I'd call so we could arrange some more work."

The next several hours passed quickly for Lorelai as she relaxed, snacked, sunbathed and worked on her plan for the Dragonfly. Teleconferences with Tom and Sookie went smoothly and she even found time to call Rory. She settled onto a lounge chair on the back deck with a martini.

"Marilyn's cabin sounds fabulous, Mom," said Rory. "How come you haven't connected with Marilyn before?"

"When I moved to Stars Hollow, it was easier to drop all Gilmore connections than to try to keep the ones I actually liked. I was sixteen, remember, and not necessarily making all the best decisions. I'm not going to make that mistake again, though, Marilyn's a hoot."

"I'm looking forward to meeting her one day. Make sure you take me along next time, OK?"

"You got it, kid."

"I hope you and Luke have a lot of fun. Don't get into any trouble."

Hanging up, Lorelai heard someone walking inside the house. "I'm back here! Beer's in the fridge!" she called as she stood up and stretched her back and legs. The perfect sunny day had allowed her to sunbathe in shorts and a skimpy top. The martini, actually the second martini, had relaxed her thoroughly.

She was just opening a beer when Luke walked into the kitchen. "Here you go," she said, handing it to him, after which she topped off her martini. Hot, tired and thirsty, he emptied half the bottle in a few gulps.

Luke's relief at having this meeting behind him made him talkative. "The meeting went great. We spent all afternoon going through every detail. I finally understand the papers. He's going to work on them tomorrow morning and I'll go back in the early afternoon. He hopes to be able to file tomorrow."

"Amen to that, sisterfriend." Her giggle and slightly unsteady walk told Luke she was a bit tipsy. "Maybe brotherfriend is the right word?"

"Brother? I don't think so," he growled, feeling her warmth as she gravitated to him.

"The force is strong with this one," she said using a hokey Yoda voice, putting her hands on his chest, feeling the smoothness of the dress shirt he'd worn that day.

"Quoting Darth Vader isn't going to get you anywhere," he said, finishing his beer and putting his arms around her.

"I'm not going anywhere, I've already arrived." She smiled at him through her martini haze.

The meeting with the lawyer had given Luke hope, the heat and the beer had relaxed his muscles, and a very happy Lorelai was in his arms. He plundered her mouth as he gave into temptation he wasn't ready for, but savored anyway.

Her mouth opened, free and wild; he demanded as much as he gave in their kiss. Her body pressing against his left no doubt as to his state of mind and she pulled him even closer. He thrust his hands into her hair, the curls tousled from the sun and the breeze claiming his fingers for their own.

He groaned as he dragged his mouth from hers, pulling far enough away to see her face. Her mewling sound as he broke the kiss nearly drove him back for more.

"Lorelai, you know I can't resist you. You only have to bend your finger and I'm there, whatever you want. I'm asking you this one thing: let's talk about this. Just for a little bit." He knew he was approaching dumbass territory again, but this was important to him; he had to at least try.

She looked at him, not so tipsy that she couldn't think rationally. Desire had left her a little foggy, but Luke, her friend was looking at her right now, asking for a favor. Fiercely independent Luke, who never asked for anything.

She caressed his smooth cheek as she smiled. "Sorry, I get a little carried away when I think of Yoda. Why don't you go change, and then we'll talk?"

"Thanks." She let him drag himself away, grateful that he didn't look back as he went upstairs, because it was impossible to hide her love and affection at this moment.

He frowned slightly at the top of the stairs. We haven't talked about sleeping arrangements yet. Every bedroom seemed to have its own bathroom, so he chose one at random, pulled shorts and a T-shirt out of his bag and showered.

When he loped downstairs dressed in khaki shorts and a T-shirt, the atmosphere had changed. Lorelai had put on music and her game face, the one she used in earlier years when things began to get too intimate between them. They'd never gone as far as they did a few minutes ago, but the memory of that night in the diner, or a dozen other moments in their past told her to be careful.

"In or out?" she asked.

"What?" Luke was perplexed.

"Where do you want to eat? Here or go out to a restaurant?"

"Oh. I don't know. Let's see what's in the fridge." A search of the fridge and cabinets led him to propose steak for dinner. "We can use the grill out back and I found some nice wine."

"Perfect," she answered. The next couple of hours were like any dinner between Luke and Lorelai, except that he ate as well and the incredibly beautiful setting.

Lorelai did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, afterward bringing a bottle of wine and two glasses to Luke, who was sitting on the deck, looking out over the lake. A few birds were calling, but as Marilyn said, it was a very quiet place. He breathed deeply, enjoying this 'cabin' as much as he enjoyed his own modest place closer to Stars Hollow.

"So," he said as she settled into her chair, "You have a thing for Yoda?" referring to their discussion earlier that evening.

"No Oompa-Loompa, he is, but I still like him," she replied with a wise Yoda nod. "Disappointed?"

"Not at all, just assessing the competition."

A long pause ensued, becoming more awkward every second. There were things to discuss, but neither had a way to start.

"You're way ahead of Yoda, but I don't know if you'll be able to overtake the Oompa-Loompas."

Luke nodded his head in acknowledgement. "There are a lot of them, and they are so, so, …"

"Orange?" she offered.

"Exactly. Hard to compete with that." Punch line delivered, they grew quiet again, but the silence wasn't awkward any longer.

"Thank you for my chuppah," he said. "I never expected to see any of that stuff again."

"Lots of people worked on it, it wasn't just me," said Lorelai.

"It would never have happened without you, and you know it. I don't think anyone would have even recognized those things, must less have made the effort to look for them."

"I couldn't believe that no one else even thought of it."

"I can. Outside of the diner, I'm practically invisible. As long as the diner stayed open, I could disappear off the face of the earth and no one would notice."

"Not true. I'd notice, Rory would notice. Miss Patty would notice." She giggled. "In some ways, she might miss you most of all."

"Lorelai."

"You started it. You don't need a pity party, Luke Danes, your life is great. You just need to accept it and appreciate it more. Starting now."

He grabbed her hand. "OK, let's go upstairs. I know some things I'd like to appreciate." His grin and lack of actual movement betrayed his joke.

Smacking his hand, she said, "Oh, my god, Luke, be serious." She laughed at her statement as she topped off their wine glasses. "I can't believe I had to tell Luke Danes to be serious!"

He became serious then. After another drink of wine, he asked haltingly, "How do you feel about all this? About us, uh, I mean, about the possibility, um, oh hell. I never know what to say." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Can you please just talk?"

"Luke, I always thought that us becoming more than friends would be, you know, weird. But we've been in this in-between stage for a while, and it isn't weird at all. It's like our regular friendship, but we know something exciting is about to happen."

"Lorelai, when I ask you to wait until the papers are filed, do you understand that I'm not scared, I'm not unsure about us? I just need to know that it's finished legally, you know?

"Well, of course. You know me, the most patient person in the universe. I epitomize patience. I love being patient. I could marry patience, except that's a girls' name and I kinda wanna marry someone with a boys' name, so marrying patience would be kinda weird."

"I get it. You can wait a little longer. I'm not going anywhere either. Remember you once told me I'm in your life forever? Right back atcha."

Puzzled, she asked, "Luke, why do you keep asking me to wait? Don't you know I will?"

"Yeah, I know. Problem is, I don't want to wait. Asking you to wait is kinda reminding me that I have to wait, too."

She stood up and walked over to Luke as he lay comfortably slumped in the chair. She leaned over him and picked up the wine bottle from where he'd left it on the opposite side of his chair. Pulling back with the bottle, she brushed against him suggestively.

"You're not liking the waiting?" she asked, suddenly swinging one leg over his and settling onto his knees. She picked up his wine glass, refilled it and pressed it into his hand, running the palm of her hand over the back of his.

Her bare legs on his made Luke inhale quickly and try to sit up a little straighter. She giggled as she rocked back and forth on his knees while he settled into a better position. "You're going to torture me with this, aren't you?" he complained, feeling his whole body respond to her actions.

"Just a little. There aren't many chinks in the Luke Danes armor, so I have to take advantage of the ones I have."

"Not many?" he scoffed. "You used the Rory eyes as a weapon this week. You have a million ways to bait me." He resisted putting his hands on her hips, not trusting himself to stop at that.

She giggled. "OK, so I know a few." She kissed him on the forehead and stood up again. He breathed a sigh of relief as she sat down in her chair again.

"Thank god," he said, "I was worried I'd have to start thinking about Kirk, or baseball stats, or worse yet, Taylor."

She grinned mischievously at him, and he glared at her in response. "I think I've just seen the downside of our friendship."

"What's that, Luke? You mean that the flip side of knowing you well enough to understand your many, many flaws is that I also know you enough to torture you within an inch of your life?"

"MY many flaws?" He looked at her, his jaw working to repress a retort, but finished with, "The torture? Yeah, that's the downside." He paced to the edge of the deck, then turned to face her. "I need to tell you something."

"What now? You don't have a second wife tucked away somewhere, do you?"

He gave her a thin-lipped smile. "No more wives, no husbands, nothing. Look, Lorelai, it's simple. You win. You out-talk me, tweak me, torture me, you can do pretty much whatever you want with me, and I can't compete with that, so I give up. You win." He extended his open hands in surrender. "Just thought I'd put that out there."

Her eyes narrowed. "Out there is right! It's batshit crazy, and I am not going to accept that from you, Lucas Danes."

"What? I'm trying to tell you that I care about you and I want to have a good relationship with you!"

"Also not good enough," she said, more calmly this time.

"Then tell me what the hell you do want, Lorelai! I just want you to be happy and secure in this relationship." Frustration laced his voice.

She was mad. He wasn't going to get away with this. "You want me to be happy?" she shouted, poking him in the chest with her index finger.

"Yeah! Really happy! Goofy smiles, goo-goo eyes, hot sexy fun happy! So happy that you never want to leave!" He waved his arms back and forth with each statement.

She stared for a moment, then said, "Luke, seriously. Goo-goo eyes?" She laughed affectionately.

He turned to face the dark lake, his face beet red, grateful for the darkness.

"Luke, come here," she said, walking toward him. After he took a step or two toward her, she enveloped him in her arms. After giving him a hard, swift hug, she reached up and smacked him gently on the side of his head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"If you want to make me happy, you bring your best to this relationship. You do not give in. You do not let me win when I haven't earned it. I will accept nothing but the best from you. If you're going to be in, I want you all in. Got it?"

"Bring my A-game, got it."

"Good." She turned to go back to her chair, but he caught her hand and pulled her back.

"Kiss me," he said emphatically.

"What if I don't want to?" she countered, eyes flashing.

"Your choice, but you don't know what you're missing."

"We've kissed before. Are you telling me it wasn't your A-game?"

"Figure it out for yourself." Letting go of her hand, he smirked, crossed his arms, and waited. He knew a couple of ways to torture Lorelai, too. One of them was to inspire her curiosity.

"Now that's what I was looking for," she said as she reached up and pulled his head down to hers. "By the way, Luke, 'tweak me?' So dirty!"

It was a fitful night. Luke and Lorelai each pondered the decision they'd made to sleep in separate rooms. Each reconsidered, then changed their minds again. Each dreamed his or her own little dirty dream about what would happen after the petition for divorce was filed. Luke dreamed a rather mundane, schmoopy event, a dinner to celebrate, then a big night to really celebrate. Lorelai's dream leaned more toward a Titanic-style arms-wide flying tour of the lake, completely naked of course, worthy of the hottest romance novel cover.

A short while after sunrise, Lorelai woke, luxuriating in the fresh crisp sheets. Her thoughts went immediately to Luke and she decided to wake him by sneaking into his room and jumping on his bed.

She padded to his room in her best coffee cup pajamas, donned in the hope that he might actually see them. Unfortunately for her he was already gone. Even his bed had been made and his clothes folded neatly on the chest of drawers.

Still barefoot, she wrapped herself in a blanket and went downstairs, eventually smelling the fresh coffee as she neared the kitchen.

Once she'd poured herself a cup of joe, she wandered onto the deck and looked at the lake. Down at the dock sat Luke, feet dangling over the edge, fishing. A slight mist rose over the sheltered areas of the lake.

Lorelai's bare feet enjoyed the dew on the grass as she made her way across the lawn to the dock. Luke took a sip of his tea, then moved the mug to free up space for Lorelai to join him.

She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Brr! You're cold. Morning," she said. She sat down close to him and pulled the blanket over both their legs.

"Morning," he replied, tucking the blanket in on her far side.

"Catch anything?"

"Nothing. Just enjoying the beauty of the place."

"I was going to come jump up and down on your bed to wake you," she confessed.

He looked at her skeptically. "What would you have done if I'd tried that with you?" he asked.

"Probably 8-10 for murder, unless I could convince the judge it was justifiable homicide. I bet she'd side with me."

"No shoes?" he asked. "Going all Daisy Mae on me?"

"I was worried you had a boysenberry pie with you. Can't afford to ruin any more shoes."

Luke checked his line when he felt a tug on it, but it was nothing, so they sat and stared at the water for a while.

"Big day, huh?" she said, nudging him with her shoulder.

"I hope so."

When Lorelai started fidgeting, Luke realized that he should go fix breakfast. "My appointment isn't until the afternoon," he said. "Want to take the boat out for a while?"

"Can we do the Titanic thing where we stand on the point and pretend to fly?"

"No, absolutely not. Someone needs to drive the boat. And it's called the bow."

"What? There's no cruise control?"

"Forget the boat. I'm keeping you on solid ground. You can't do as much damage that way."

"Oh, pretty pretty please! Let's go out! I'll behave."

"No you won't. You never have before."

"Nice to know you can count on me, isn't it?"

"Marilyn, dear, how are you?" cooed Emily in her best DAR voice.

"Emily? How odd to hear from you? Is everything alright?" asked Marilyn.

"Oh, don't be like that, Marilyn. Can't I call Richard's cousin for a chat?"

"How is Richard?"

"He's just fine. Did you have a chance to talk to Lorelai's friend? What happened?"

"He is just the nicest person, Emily, and so handsome. Shame on you for not telling me that he and Lorelai are an item. They are so in love, and perfect for each other."

I knew it! Lorelai was hiding something from me. Oh, good lord! If this man was stupid enough to get accidentally married on a cruise, how could he possibly be good enough for Lorelai?

Keeping up appearances, Emily refused to give Marilyn the satisfaction of knowing that she had scooped her. "You know, Marilyn, they really didn't want me discussing it until the divorce was final. Sorry I couldn't bring it up."

"Of course, of course, Emily, I understand, but you know you can trust me with anything, my dear."

Trust Marilyn? The kleptomaniac who keeps stealing the bar glasses from Trix's house whenever she gets a chance? Fat chance.

"Absolutely, Marilyn, I trust you with my life. So what else is going on?"

"I'm having a little soiree tonight. Lorelai and her friend are going to be there, give them a little fun after all the nasty lawyer work they've had to deal with this week."

"Still annoyed by Michael Stein, cousin? When a lawyer is bent on revenge, there's almost nothing to be done."

"Except find a better lawyer, and that's exactly what I did with Michael, that devil."

"So, Marilyn, your parties are always so much fun. How long has it been since you've seen Richard?"

Marilyn rolled her eyes at this blatant request for an invitation.

"Of course," Emily continued, "we have our regular dinner with Rory tonight, so I suppose it would be impossible this week."

"Rory! I haven't seen Rory since she was about 5 years old. One Christmas, wasn't it? Say, couldn't the three of you come to my party tonight? It has been a long time since I've had a good chat with my cousin or seen that sweet little girl."

"We would love to come, my dear. Seven as usual? We might be a few minutes later, because Rory's schedule at Yale keeps her late on Fridays." Emily mentally calculated the amount of driving time needed, and decided to call Rory to come a few minutes earlier. Finally a chance to surprise Lorelai. It might help convince her to stop keeping such a big wall between her two worlds.

Lorelai ran down the stairs when she heard Luke's truck pull into the driveway and park. Still dressed in her silk robe and fresh from her bath, she smelled of all things wonderfully feminine. She had kept her eye on the clock all afternoon, and while it was late, there might be enough time to get a little canoodling in if things had gone well. Through the window she saw him walk toward the door, looking content. Damn! Can't read that expression.

She flung the door open and demanded, "How did it go? Is it done?"

"Hey. Wow, you smell good." He dropped his keys on the side table and set the briefcase on the floor.

"Luke!"

"Someone's a little impatient, isn't she?" he teased.

"You were gone much longer than I expected. Is it over?"

"Close. We're close. The papers are done, I've signed everything, it's been witnessed. They're now trying to get them filed, but they're not sure if it can be done today."

"So you don't know yet?" She spread her hands and splayed her fingers in frustration.

"Not yet, but it won't be long, Lorelai. It's almost over."

"Damn."

"Hey, why don't you finish getting ready, and after I have a beer, I'll do the same. Then we can go and drown our sorrows at Marilyn's party for a few hours. Then we have the whole weekend to have fun and relax."

"Rory! You made it! Thanks for being early. Did you bring a change of clothes?"

"Yes, Grandma, but I don't understand why. Are we eating outside?"

"Something like that. We need to drive for a little while first. Are you ready or do you need to take care of your personal needs first?"

"Uh, let me make a quick stop, but then I'm ready."

"Good, I'll have your grandfather pull the car around. Richard!"

…

"Holy crap, Grandma! You don't have to push!"

"Watch your language, young lady. We've got a bit of a drive ahead of us, Rory, there's no time to waste."

After driving for a few minutes, Rory pulled out her phone and checked her messages. Nothing of interest from her mother, and she wondered if she should text her to see if Lorelai knew why Emily would go nuts tonight.

"Rory, is that your cell phone?"

"Yes," she said, unsure of where this was going.

"Can I look at it, please? I'm thinking it may be time for me to have one of those things. It's important to stay in contact, and all my DAR friends have them now."

"Uh, sure. You can just use the buttons here to move the cursor around the screen."

"Oh, very nice. Does it have a power button? Can I turn it off when I don't want to be bothered?"

"Sure, press and hold that button up there."

"Oh! Look at that! The screen has gone completely dark."

"That means it's off, Grandma."

"Good. Now I'll just keep it until we arrive. I've got a little surprise planned."

This doesn't sound good at all.

"A surprise, Grandma? For who?"

"For whom, dear. For you, of course. We've been invited to a party at Richard's cousin Marilyn's house. It ought to be a lot of fun, and she was saying just the other day how she hadn't seen you in forever, so she and I made a plan to visit her tonight."

"Can I please have my phone back?"

"Not until we've arrived, Rory. I told you it's a surprise."

"Grandma."

"Rory, you know she brings it on herself. There's no reason on earth for Lorelai to keep her Stars Hollow and Hartford lives separate. We're just going to drop in and meet her boyfriend. She should have told us last week anyway."

Rory banged her head against the wall of the car.

"Have you met him, Rory? What's his name?"

"No comment, Grandma, unless I get my phone back and can call Mom first."

"You can talk to your mother soon enough."

"Whatever you do, don't leave me. I feel very uncomfortable here. This suit isn't helping at all."

"Luke, it's a party. Marilyn will be circulating the whole evening, we don't have to talk to anyone we don't want to. After a couple of hours, we can go. OK?"

He sighed. "I really do appreciate her hospitality…"

"Then it's settled. No one knows us here. Who shall we pretend to be?"

"What? No! I have a hard enough time keeping track of myself, much less be someone else."

"Killjoy. Give me something. I want to play. Or shall we walk around all evening talking about the cruise marriage?"

"Do you have another idea?"

"Hmm, how about we be us, but every time we change our story up a little bit?"

"I still don't like it, but that might actually work. You go first and show me how it's done."

"There's a bar. Go there. Alcohol is a must."

Lorelai sidled up to two men at the bar. "Hi. What's a good drink here?" she asked, pulling Luke by the hand to stand beside her.

"The Manhattans and vodka martinis are great," said the elder of the two men.

"Excellent." She turned to the bartender. "One Vodka martini and a beer, please."

Turning back to the men, she introduced them. "I'm Lorelai and this is Luke."

"Dave."

"Jerry."

"So Luke, what do you do?" asked Jerry, taking Luke by surprise.

Lorelai leaned in confidentially to Jerry. "Luke is a professional baseball player."

Taken aback at first, Luke quickly responded, "Correction. A FORMER pro ball player. I'm way too old for the game now."

"Oh honey, don't be modest. Tell them more."

"Who'd you play for?" asked Dave.

A Triple A farm team down south. Never got called up to the majors, though."

"Still, you lived the dream. Was it great?"

"You know what, Jerry, it really was. There's nothing like going out every day, knowing that your job is to play the best damn game you can."

Smirking, Lorelai backed away, leaving the boys to their fun while she refreshed her and Luke's drinks. Never leaving Luke's line of sight, she watched him animatedly tell baseball stories and discuss teams.

Eventually, two women stopped near her. "Evelyn, who's that with Jerry?" asked the first.

"I don't know, Dorothy, never saw him before. He sure is handsome, though."

Dorothy waved her hand dismissively. "That means he's probably going to be Marilyn's next conquest. There's something fiercely attractive about him."

"Hi ladies," interrupted Lorelai. "Are you referring to that handsome thing over there in the navy blue suit?"

"Yes, do you know him?" asked Evelyn.

"I do. He's my big sweetie bear going on eight years now."

"Look at your cheeks turning pink, honey. You must really love him. What are they talking about?"

"They were talking about baseball when I left. Luke is a former pro player."

"Uh-oh," said Evelyn. "Jerry isn't going to let him go. He loves baseball and can talk about it for hours. What was your name, honey?"

"I'm Lorelai."

"Lorelai, if you want any more time this evening with your honey bear, you'd better save him from Jerry. Otherwise we'll be baseball widows the whole evening." Evelyn had clearly been through this before.

"Why don't we go break up their little game, then?" suggested Lorelai.

The ladies got fresh drinks and walked to the little group.

"Jerry, are you monopolizing Luke's time?" asked Evelyn. "His pretty girl over here was standing all alone while you three talked baseball."

"Oh geez, I'm sorry, Lorelai," said Jerry apologetically. "Luke's stories are just so great. Boy, does he know baseball."

"Hey how about if we all head outside? It's a lot cooler and nice out there."

"Let me just get the next round of drinks," said Luke, to Lorelai's surprise. "You ladies are OK? Yes? Then Jerry? Dave?"

"Luke, your beer looks great. How about if you get us each one as well?" asked Dave.

Dorothy pulled Lorelai aside. "Lorelai, honey, you have to come to more of the parties. If Luke can get Jerry and Dave to switch to beer, we wouldn't have to pour our husbands into the car at the end of the evening. He is a real treasure. And such a sweet, friendly person."

Astonished, Lorelai just agreed. "That's my guy. Can't help loving someone that wonderful."

Luke flashed her an amused look as he passed by, overhearing her comment.

"So ladies, how do you spend your time?" asked Luke good-naturedly.

"Our main focus is charity work with the DAR," said Dorothy.

"Ah, such good work. Lorelai's been thinking about joining. You know, give back to the community." Lorelai threw daggers at him with her eyes.

"Lorelai! That's wonderful! Tell us all your questions, we'll be happy to help you find a good group. Which city do you live near?"

"That would be Hartford," mumbled Lorelai.

"That would be Emily Gilmore's group. She's a stickler for protocol, but she really gets the work done."

Evelyn and Dorothy proceeded to bend Lorelai's ear until she could stand no more. Making her excuses and promising to not forget her application to the DAR, she escaped.

Catching up with the men, she wrapped her arm around Luke's, saying, "Luke, honey, we have to circulate. You boys won't mind if I take my big sweetie bear away from you, will you? I'm missing some Luke-time."

The boys nodded their assent as Lorelai thumped Luke's back hard several times, trying to help him recover from the beer he'd just snorted at the words 'big sweetie bear.'

"Bye fellas!" she waved as she dragged a laughing Luke down the stone stairs into the formal garden.

"Big sweetie bear?" he asked in disbelief.

"The DAR, Luke? How could you tell them I wanted to join the DAR?"

"Take it easy, Lorelai, you told me we'd make up stories and have some fun. I don't know about you, but I had a blast!"

"I've got other plans now," said Lorelai determinedly as she found a secluded corner which had been conveniently provisioned with a vine-covered arch and a bench.

She pulled him to her and kissed him fiercely, pushing his jacket off his shoulders so she could feel his arms and back as she ran her hands over him. Dragging his hands out of the jacket, Luke wasted no time moving his lips down her neck to the pulse points at her collarbone. Pushing the spaghetti strap of her dress aside, he had full access to the curve of her shoulder, dipping down to her cleavage.

Lorelai reached up to his head, pulling him closer while he kissed her exposed flesh. She pressed her body tightly against his, feeling his hard muscles and the heat of his desire through the flimsy fabric of her summery dress. His hands ran up and down her back, finally resting on her bottom. Feeling the heat from his hands, Lorelai moaned, then broke away, panting.

"Luke," she said, collapsing onto the bench, "I'm not sure if I can wait any longer."

"Me neither," he agreed. "We may have to find another solution."

They held each other until their breathing became more normal.

"I need something to drink," said Luke. "You too?"

Lorelai nodded. "I'm going to stay here, if you don't mind. It's nice and private here."

"Good idea. I'll be right back."

She straightened his tie before he left, then moved his jacket to the side of the bench. She fanned herself with her hand, trying to cool down.

Suddenly Luke's jacket peeped, startling Lorelai. His cell phone. Maybe it was the lawyer with good news.

Fumbling about in the pockets, she found it before they hung up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have a wrong number."

The caller hung up and Lorelai closed the phone. Within a minute the phone rang again.

"Who is this?" demanded the caller. "Where's Luke?"

Lorelai recognized the voice this time. "Hello Nicole."

"Lorelai? What are you doing with Luke's phone?"

"He stepped out for a minute. Can I ask him to call you back?"

"Yes, and tell him it's urgent. And important. Very important."

Lorelai sat there after Nicole ended the call, staring at the phone. She was still staring when Luke arrived with drinks.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

"Nicole called, wants you to call her back. She says it's urgent and important."

"What the hell could she want now?" he wondered aloud.

"Baked any pies lately?" joked Lorelai. Luke was not in a joking mood.

"I'd better find out what's going on," he said grimly.

He began to dial and Lorelai stood up intending to walk some distance away. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to a seated position. "I need you with me."

"Nicole? What's up?" he said curtly.

Her voice was so loud that he held the phone away from his ear for a moment.

"They did? How did you find out? Wow. Stein has a really good network." He looked at Lorelai and gave her a big thumbs up.

"Yes, I know that there's no way out. I don't want a way out, Nicole, I told you that."

"I am sorry for one thing, though. It was wrong of me to let this relationship go past the second date."

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Bye."

He looked at Lorelai. "It seems that Stein's network is so good that someone from the registry office called them to let them know the papers have been filed. Nicole was calling to tell me it can't be undone now."

"And?" asked Lorelai.

"Yeah, she offered again, but I think she'd kinda have to commit a crime to pull the divorce back now."

Before they knew it, his phone rang again.

"Do you need a secretary, Luke?" Lorelai teased. The news was just sinking in. His divorce was filed. Nothing stood in their way.

The next call was Luke's lawyer, confirming that it was indeed over. There was nothing left to do, and one day his divorce decree would appear in his mail.

"It's over," he said.

"It's over," she echoed.

He picked up their drinks. "We need a toast."

"To endings," said Lorelai.

"And beginnings," added Luke. They closed the toast with a kiss.

"Do you know what I want to do more than anything else in the world right now?" asked Luke.

"I have a few ideas," grinned Lorelai.

"Wrong," he said. "I want to take this damn phone and throw it in the lake."

She laughed. "Look down that path."

Luke saw that the pebbled garden path led straight down to the lake. "Let's go!" They ran laughing down to the lake, where Luke took the opportunity to use his pitching arm to the best of his ability. Dave and Jerry would have been proud.

The walk back to their secluded corner took longer, mainly due to the necking that was unavoidable every few yards.

Once they settled back on their bench, Luke's first question was, "How much longer do we have to stay?"

"Just a few minutes. By the time we've finished our drinks, we can go find Marilyn and say our goodbyes."

"Thank god," said Luke, and they dove in for a fresh round of necking.

"Hello, Lorelai."

Lorelai closed her eyes tightly, refusing to look around her. "Please tell me I've gone insane and that was not my mother's voice."

"You are not insane," said Luke for the first and probably last time in his life.

Lorelai looked at her mother as she and Luke turned to face the visitor.

"Holy crap, Mom, what on earth possessed you to come here tonight?"

"Marilyn invited us. And watch your language. You're in mixed company." Luke coughed down the laugh trying to escape his throat.

"Us? Who else is here?" asked Lorelai.

"Richard and Rory are with me."

Lorelai looked at Luke. "I suppose it's time to meet the rest of the family."

"Hello, I'm Emily Gilmore, since it appears that my daughter is not going to introduce us."

Lorelai put her hands on her temples, desperately trying to prevent the coming headache.

"It's Luke, Mom, you remember Luke."

Emily was truly surprised. "Luke! I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you."

"Hello, Emily."

"How's the divorce, Luke?" she said coldly.

"Done. It cannot be reversed." Luke stood and pulled on his jacket, then stood, calm and confident. Now that he had fixed his mistake, he was not going to feel ashamed of that fact.

"Mom, it's none of your business," said Lorelai, joining Luke.

"You're my business. If he's dragging you into something improper, I should know."

"Wow, wrong on so many levels, Mom. It's my business, period. If I ever choose to share something like that, then I will share it with you. No one else is involved."

"We'll see you both at our table, Lorelai. We're next to the swimming pool." With that, Emily left.

"Welcome to the family, Luke. Have you had enough of me yet? The crazy is strong in this one."

"I take it that the clock for leaving has reset? We now have to sit with your parents for a while?"

"I fear so. Shall we make a break for it?"

"Nah, let's get it over with. Then we have a clear conscience for the rest of the weekend. You want to see Rory anyway, don't you?"

By the time they reached the Gilmore table, Emily had stilled her consternation with three Manhattans.

Rory ran over to them apologizing. "Grandma took my phone hostage, or I would have called you!"

"Don't worry, sugar, it was bound to happen sometime."

"Luke, I'm so sorry I couldn't warn you."

"Don't worry Rory, we're good."

"Grandma says the divorce is finished?"

"She told you?" groaned Luke.

"Welcome to the Gilmores, Luke," Rory commiserated. "Look on the bright side. The food's pretty good."

"Food? There's food?" asked Lorelai. "Show me where the food is."

The buffet was the most peaceful point in the evening. Everyone ate and the conversation was mostly polite, primarily due to the fact that Emily was smashed. That's when the whole family, Marilyn included was regaled with the history of Luke and Lorelai as eyewitnessed by Emily Gilmore, and colorfully told by Drunk Emily.

Dancing offered the couple a chance to escape the table for a few minutes. Luke even danced once with Rory.

As he guided her through the waltz, he commented, "I was wrong. It's not just your mom who's crazy. It's the whole damn family, present company excluded, of course."

She smiled at him. "The really amusing thing about it, Luke, is the fact that it's too late for you to change your mind."

"I wouldn't change it anyway. If nothing else, it's a great adventure."

"I'm happy for both of you, Luke. It was a long time coming, but I'm glad it's here now."

Lorelai and Luke were dancing when Emily and Richard danced by. Drunk Emily insisted they change partners, then proceeded to quiz Luke on his prospects, explain every possible quirk of Lorelai's that he might not yet know (he knew them all, plus some Emily didn't), then finish with self-congratulation on how she figured out they would be a pair long before they knew it themselves.

The couple was saying their goodbyes when Drunk Emily, who had disappeared several minutes earlier, commanded them to stay.

"No one leaves until we've recovered the bar glasses," Emily commanded.

Emily held up a small glass which held a brown liquid. "This is your objective." She peered into the glass, muttered, "scotch," then drank it.

"Bar glasses?" hissed Luke to Lorelai. "What is she talking about?"

She whispered back, "Marilyn has been systematically stealing bar glasses from Trix's house over the years. Mom wants them put back."

"Emily," said Luke, "Lorelai and I are just leaving. Can't you just tell her to put them back?"

"No! Of course not. No one supposed to know they're gone. That's the definition of stealing, Luke."

"That's not the definition of stealing," he argued back to Lorelai.

"Shh! Stay quiet and follow instructions. This must be done for the honor of the family."

Luke looked at Rory for help, but she only shrugged her shoulders. "They outnumber us, Luke. We can't possibly win."

Drunk Emily handed out paper napkins with maps on them. "Each of you has an assigned room. Get to that room, and when no one's looking, put the glasses in your pockets or purse. When you've accomplished your mission, you can go."

She looked at the napkins, then sniffed. "Paper napkins. What was Marilyn thinking?"

"C'mon, Luke, let's get the glasses and go!"

"How about we leave the glasses and go?"

"Are you crazy? She'll hold it over our head for years. Decades. This feud has been going on since 1980. We need the glasses."

"What the hell, let's get the glasses and go." They turned and headed for the door.

"Stop," commanded Emily again. Sighing, Lorelai and Luke turned around.

Emily smirked at them. "Luke, we'll see you next Friday at dinner. Lorelai will tell you the details. Bring the glasses."

Her next Manhattan arrived, and she gratefully took an elegant sip. The couple turned again.

"And Lorelai, I'll send you an application on Monday."

"An application, Mom? For what?"

"The DAR, of course. Your first meeting is in two weeks."

On the way back to the cabin, Luke shifted in his seat, the stolen bar glasses rattling in his coat pockets. He was pondering. His silence concerned Lorelai. The Gilmore crazy had been strong tonight; even she recognized that she appeared quite sane compared to Emily.

Suddenly he pounded the steering wheel and said, "I remember!"

Surprised, Lorelai asked, "What do you remember?"

"That word I forgot. You know on Thursday, when Marilyn wished us a nice weekend, she called it our FYBO weekend."

"Oh." There was no avoiding it now.

"What's FYBO stand for?" he asked.

She sighed. "Fuck Your Brains Out."

Luke kept his eyes on the road, silent again for a long while.

"OK. Sounds good."

So they did.

A/N – The closing of this chapter was slightly inspired by a very funny fanfic, the name and author of which I cannot remember, but there were supreme beings playing with L/L's relationship, and Luke's agreement here is deliberately reminiscent of that story, in which he said (I think): 'kay.

A/N – Thanks for reading! I'm now off to finish Relationship Renaissance and A Really Nice Man.