Chapter 1- Alone

Author's Note: I thought I was done with SAB until the amazing princessatsea posted her latest fanfic. If you haven't read it yet, go and check it out. This starts off after Angelo's death and evolves from there. I've had this idea since that episode and was finally pushed to publish it. This is a slow-burn Bay/Ty fic and it will take them time to get together.

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She doesn't want to deal with this anymore -the pitying looks, the red eyes, the pretending that everything is ok when it's not- so she sneaks off upstairs in the middle of the wake. Casserole and polite conversations have never been her style anyway.

Once in her room, she throws the lock on the door and ignores Emmett's knocks. It's no surprise that he noticed her disappearance but she didn't expect him to catch on quite so quickly. She wishes that he would just let her be alone. Normally she appreciates his steady presence and superior listening skills but she doesn't need that today. Today she needs solitude and peace to come to terms with everything that she's lost. Emmett would listen to her but he'd never truly be able to understand what she's going through. He's never lost anyone, not anyone as important as a parent that is. He might not be as close to his father as he once was but at least Cameron is still alive. Emmett still has a chance to be close to him if he wants to be. She'll never get that opportunity with Angelo ever again no matter how much she dreams of it. The guilt she feels when she thinks of how their relationship was strained before he died eats away at her and she feels tears stinging at her eyes. Instead of allowing them to fall she grabs her laptop and curls into a ball under her covers. She feels warm and safe for the first time since Angelo got into the accident. Emmett's knocks finally fade away and she relishes the silence. Bay thinks back to the time when Emmett told her that he couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be able to get away and turn off his brain. She realizes that for the first time in her life she finally gets to experience that same sense of nothingness that he described.

After staring at the pattern on the underside of her comforter for the better part of ten minutes, Bay pulls her laptop towards her and turns it on. Part of the reason she came up here was to grieve for the Angelo that she knew, not the Angelo that everyone downstairs knew. To her he was the missing part of her life that never really filled out. To them he was a man that added more to what was already full. She suspects that most of the people that are here felt obligated to show up. She wonders how much of the grief is genuine and how much of it is not. She won't being going back down to the wake so she'll never get a chance to figure that out. She doesn't really care anyway.

Bay feels a hot stab of jealousy strike her very core when she hears Daphne crying in the hall and John's soft words of comfort for her. She almost rolls her eyes at that- Daphne can't hear him so his words do no good for her. The irritation that she feels towards Daphne rises again when she hears her cry about missing Angelo. She never wanted a relationship with him in the first place and now she's crying about something she didn't really lose. Besides, she has John who is both her bio-dad and her actual dad. Angelo was nothing more than a man who left her and Regina when she was a toddler. Daphne didn't really lose anyone important to her. And wasn't she part of the reason he drove away angry? Bay shakes her head to clear her thoughts. Angelo is gone and there's no point in blaming anyone for his death. But she still can't help but feel jealous of Daphne. Bay doesn't have a bio-dad anymore and she isn't as close to John as Daphne is, no matter what he says. She almost feels like she doesn't have a dad anymore. It really isn't fair. It's incredibly selfish of her to think this way but she allows herself this one brief moment of complete selfishness. After tonight her family will need her, Daphne and Regina in particular, and she will be there for them without question.

Daphne and John have finally gone back downstairs and she can hear the quiet murmur of conversation from the guests below. She's been gone for at least an hour and no one has knocked on her door since Emmett did when she first came up. He must have told people to leave her alone. She feels a rush of gratitude towards him and makes a mental note to thank him later.

She's sweltering underneath the covers so she throws them off and leans back against the headboard, resting her laptop on her knees. She hovers the mouse over the file labelled 'Angelo' but doesn't open it. Her heart pounds in her ears and her hands tremble. She doesn't understand why she's reacting this way. They're just pictures after all. Taking a deep breath, she opens the file and quickly squeezes her eyes shut. It is alone in her room that she allows herself to really and truly miss Angelo. Not only is she mourning the loss of the man himself but of their potential relationship as well.

Steeling herself, Bay opens her eyes and looks at the picture she opened. She and Angelo are standing close together in the kitchen, looking down in horror at the blackened food in front of them. Bay smiles at this picture and the memory it brings up. There was no doubt that she had not inherited Angelo's prowess for cooking. It's not the first time that she wonders how she would have turned out if the switch had never happened. Would she have been a talented chef like Angelo? She'll never know. She likes to imagine that she would have been; that in another universe there is an artistic Daphne with dark curly hair, a snarky personality, and a talent for cooking. When she clicks over to the next photo -she and Angelo are sitting at the pool in the country club sharing a pineapple and kiwi smoothie- she is surprised to find her face damp with tears. When Bay realizes this she lets out a little sob. The pain is so deep and so sharp that she doesn't know if she'll ever recover. She clutches a pillow to her chest and holds it tightly. She'd give anything to have Angelo back.

A loud ping startles her out of her revive. She wipes the tears off of her cheeks and quickly checks her email. Her brow furrows when she sees who the email is from: Ty.

Private First Class Tyler Salal Mendoza- Subject: I heard about Angelo. I'm so sorry.

It's silly but the first thing she notices is that his rank has improved since she last talked to him. She can't help but smile at the thought of him doing so well. She hadn't realized until now that she had been worried about him. Without thought, she quickly opens the email to see what he has to say.

Hi Bay. I know you probably don't want to hear from me but I just... yah. I found out about what happened to Angelo yesterday. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also really sorry about what I did last summer. Mary Beth said she told you what I did. I know that... that this doesn't really help, but I truly am sorry. I wish I could tell you why I did it but I don't really know why. Just so you know, it wasn't your fault. I'm sure you already know that but still. I know that we aren't friends anymore but if you need anything, I'm here for you. And again, I am really am sorry... about everything. Take care,

-Private First Class Tyler Salal Mendoza.

She stares at the message for what seems like an eternity. She wants to be angry with him but she can't muster up those feelings right now. Instead she feels incredibly tired. She can't believe that he still cares about her, let alone enough to reach out to her. She thought that after she'd deleted his last message, he would disappear from her life entirely. Oddly enough she's glad that he hasn't. His message of condolences is by far the simplest she's received. It also feels the most genuine. Ty had only met Angelo once when they'd gone to St Louis together but they had gotten along well, talking about cooking and working out. Her cheeks heat up at the memory of pulling over and making love passionately in his truck when before making it to St Louis. She shakes her head to clear her thoughts. She doesn't doubt that Ty misses Angelo. He had told her that his gentleness and kind eyes had made him feel at ease during a time when he'd been struggling.

She tries to think of what to say to him and the words come to her with surprising ease.

Hey Ty,

It's good to hear from you. Thanks for the condolences. I miss Angelo so much and I don't know what to do about it. Your message really made me feel better... It really did. I'm not mad at you anymore about that. I was for a while but I figured out that I can't let stuff like that define me. You probably already figured it out but I deleted your last message. I wasn't ready to talk to you then but I am now. Can we Skype soon? I'm free for the next week considering the circumstances... :( We really should talk. How's life in the army treating you? Hope you're well,

-Bay

P.S. Here's a link to the program from Angelo's funeral

She quickly sends the message to Ty before she can change her mind. A little voice in the back of her head tells her she should talk to Emmett about this before talking to Ty again. She banishes the thought as soon as it comes. She's an adult and if Emmett doesn't like it then he'll just have to deal with it. If he can't trust her to stay true to him when talking to Ty then they shouldn't be together at all. She hopes that he'll be trusting and supportive but deep down she knows that he won't react well when she tells him. He never does react well when she interacts with guys that aren't him, Toby, her Dad, or Travis. Before she can ponder this further her computer pings and she knows Ty has replied.

Hey Bay, I'm free tomorrow at 3pm your time. I have a new Skype account: PFC-TSMendoza . I just added you. I'm guessing yours is still DifferentFrida22 ? I've got to go now, my daily stipend of internet time is almost up. Talk to you tomorrow,

-Private First Class Tyler Salal Mendoza.

She checks her account and sees that he added her. The formality of his life makes her feel sad- the stiff picture, the empty personal description, and the overly formal username all scream of unhappiness. What has happened to him in the last year? She knows that she won't have to wait long to find out... hopefully. She remembers how closed off he was from her when it came to his life when they were dating and she would not be surprised if he kept things even more bottled up now.

She exits from her Skype page and watches as the last rays of light disappear from underneath the crack of her door. It must have been hours since she came up here and yet she only managed to look at two pictures and didn't get much of a chance to grieve. Maybe she just doesn't want to say goodbye to him. She glances at the photos of Angelo before closing the file. She's not ready to look at them yet. She hopes she will be soon.

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End of Chapter 1

Please review!

Random note: Salal is squirrel in Cherokee. I thought that it was cute that I could link up Ty's Cherokee heritage with the Kennish's obsession with squirrels.