The Pragmatic Proposition

by RJ1013

Summary: A conversation with Penny causes Sheldon to consider exploring previously uncharted territory with Amy. This is a Shamy story, with some Lenny sprinkles.

Disclaimer: If I owned any piece of "The Big Bang Theory" or its characters, I would drive a way nicer car. Sigh.

Spoilers: Up to mid-season 8

I.

Sheldon raps on Penny's door with his customary greeting. Amy had borrowed some of Penny's clothes again, odd ones that Sheldon can't picture Amy wearing. What was she doing with halter tops and short-shorts? He shrugs off the thought and re-balances the bag of clothes in his arms. Finally, Penny answers the door.

"Whatcha doin', whackadoodle?"

"Exactly zero of those words are part of the English language, Penny. You should work on that. I'm just returning these… pieces of attire… that Amy borrowed."

He hears her mumble something about pit stains as she opens the door wider to allow him entrance. Penny's apartment is in tremendous disarray. He wouldn't have thought it unusual, of course, but she hasn't displayed this level of disorganization in quite some time. Her new job responsibilities had seemed to bleed some responsibility into other parts of her life. He plops the bag of clothes near the summit of what he hopes is a mound of clean laundry and feels relieved when it doesn't instigate an avalanche.

"Am I going to need to break in again and attack this place with Lysol, Hefty bags and more closet organizers? How have you not misplaced Leonard under all these mounds of laundry?"

"Don't even consider it," she replies and glances around with a slightly lost expression. "I'm sure Leonard is around here someplace…"

As if by command, Leonard appears from Penny's bedroom. Dressed tidily for work, he stands in amusing contrast to his sloppy surroundings. A touch out of place here, Sheldon thinks. He knows Leonard is headed off to work, even though it's a Saturday. It makes him proud, seeing his friend prioritizing science, and he is sure that Leonard has learned from his own sterling example.

"Hey Sheldon," Leonard says, and then turns to Penny. He hastily places a kiss on Penny's cheek. "I'm sorry about this, but I'll be back tonight and we will go out and paint the town red."

"How does one paint the town red? Is that a euphemism for graffiti?"

Leonard tilts his head and walks towards the door. He taps Sheldon on the shoulder on the way by, but does not grace Sheldon's question with a response.

"I'm not bailing you guys out if you get caught," he tells Penny after Leonard has closed the door.

"We're not spray painting anything, Sheldon!" she shouts. Much more quietly, even sadly, she continues, "He just means that we will go out when he returns and have a bit of a wild time out."

"Wild time out? Leonard?"

"Goodbye Sheldon."

Shrugging, feeling dismissed, Sheldon turns to leave.

"Sheldon, wait. I want to discuss something."

"Of course. I'm an expert in many things. Perhaps we should start with some laundry tips or maybe a household chore schedule…"

"Sheldon, I'm afraid to get married," she interrupts.

"Oh. Well, I can't imagine anyone being afraid of Leonard. He isn't the most intimidating figure…"

"I'm not afraid of Leonard! I'm just wondering if we might be rushing things."

Sheldon is surprised to hear Penny voice this concern. He had thought that they had really settled into a good place in their relationship. It certainly is less chaotic than it has been in previous years.

"I mean, I'm happy with Leonard," Penny continues, "but marriage… now that's intimidating, you know?"

Sheldon can't think of a response. He excels at so many things, but he isn't sure he's the best consultant for a relationship issue. Perhaps this is a simple fear of failure, he thinks. Lesser beings then himself do struggle with failure.

"Statistics do indicate a high probability of divorce," he supplies unhelpfully.

"I'm not really worried about that. I really think we could be content together." She pauses for a few moments. "I remember my grandparents marriage. They got married when they were just out of high school, still teenagers even. They were married for 70 years before they died within a couple months of each other."

She stares off a bit dreamily, and then sighs. "They spent every day together. Woke up together, vacationed together, lived in the same house together for their entire lives. Every day the same. Every month, every year, every decade - all the same. I don't know if I could handle that."

This is confusing. He can't see how any of that story could generate anxiety in anyone. That level of consistency and homeostasis? It sounds magical to Sheldon's ears. Apparently his confusion is evident to Penny, because she continues, while glancing at him as if he were clueless.

"Don't you see? Where's the adventure in that? The mystery? It's so… boring. And it's for life, you know? I mean, they're probably the greatest example of long-lasting love I've ever seen. I'm just not sure I have that in me," she finishes sadly.

Sheldon raises one eyebrow, crosses his arms and looks at her incredulously.

"So… your greatest marriage fear… is to have a successful one?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, no. Obviously I wouldn't want us to break up, or be miserable together. It's not like I haven't witnessed disastrous marriages too. But it's complicated. If even the best case scenario leaves me scared, what am I supposed to do?"

"Penny, I mean this in the most polite fashion possible. All of that is malarkey! That kind of routine, that level of stasis… it's not intimidating, it's idyllic!"

Penny rolls her eyes and starts marching Sheldon towards the door. "Of course you'd find the idea of a boring day-to-day existence to be something wonderful. I don't know what other answer I could have expected from a man who keeps meticulous records of his bowel habits!"

II.

After returning to his apartment, Sheldon pours himself an iced tea and settles into his spot. What a perplexing morning. Conversing with Penny is always like navigating a minefield of irrationality. Still, the subject of their conversation is wedged firmly into his mind.

Marriage isn't something that Sheldon has ever given much thought to, beyond a general feeling of disdain. His own parents union had been fraught with more heartache and misery than anything else, and he certainly wants no part in something as chaotic as that. The idea that a marriage could be stable and peaceful in the way that Penny had described her grandparents' life, is sort of a revelation. Perhaps his meemaw and pop-pop had led a similar life, but his pop-pop had died when he was young so he had never seen it for himself.

He can't relate to Penny's odd fear of living a life with stability and routine. Surely, that is the goal of everyday life. Excitement, adventure and innovation are of value, he can admit, but it is surely best to channel those aspects of life to science.

While realistically an institution defined by the law, most people he knows seem to view getting married as a romantic, lovey-dovey thing. Such humdrum claptrap is no way to go about making decisions in his life. The only thing worse, is thinking of marriage in religious terms. Sheldon shudders.

The contractual concept of marriage, however, is something he most definitely does see merit in. Documenting the expectations of a personal relationship makes things clear for all parties, and he has thusly drawn up such agreements to use in his own life. His relationship agreement with Amy is something he has found immensely useful, and he's always considered it to be a superior form of contract.

Marriage has other benefits too, he has to admit. He is familiar with most of the pragmatic benefits of marriage from the debate about gay marriage that has taken place over the years. There are positives to a marriage contract that are hard to duplicate in another fashion.

He wonders if Amy would be able to view the subject with the same practicality that he does. Does she envision herself someday having a fairytale-esque wedding? Something dripping with overly-sentimental poppycock? She isn't religiously inclined, fortunately, so he wouldn't have to dodge those bullets.

Their relationship causes Sheldon distress quite often as it is forever changing and evolving. If only they could settle things into place. The thought of fixing their relationship into a permanent, unchanging state is appealing. A consistent set of living arrangements and no further need to train a new roommate would be advantages as well. No longer needing to concern himself with these issues would free him to focus on sorting out the mysteries and adventures of physics.

Much like himself, she tends to be a rational being about most things. There are times, though, that she seems to fall prey to the whims of 'feelings'. It's mostly Penny's influence, he suspects.

Still, would she be able to consider the idea of marriage in a wholly pragmatic way? Women did tend to get emotional about marriage and weddings, so Sheldon isn't sure.

It would involve some adjustment in the beginning, he supposes. Living together, among other things, would be a big change. Leonard is practically moved out at this point, though, so change is already afoot. Resolved that he will simply have to run the matter passed Amy, he sweeps up the remote to turn on last week's recording of "Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D."