BECAUSE I RENEWED MY TICKET TO THE FEELS TRAIN AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA JOIN THE RIDE

AU TLOU where Joel and Tess fuck around a little too much and suddenly there is a little tiny baby. AND THAT BABY IS ELLIE BECAUSE FUCK YOU WHY NOT.

Companion piece to a commission art piece

Joel peels the quilt back gently, sits down on the mattress as if he's trying hard not to break the ice on a spring-thawed lake. "Joel," she says, her voice warm and tired, "promise if you get in bed we'll both be just fine. She won't roll away."

Joel peers anxiously at the small bundle in her arms. Ellie is wrapped in a cozy white blanket, but above that Tess' shirt is wrapped hastily to tighten the bundlings. So her small, squishy pink face sits in a nest of faded pink and white, and Tess' blue sweatshirt is pressed against it. Joel watches the pieces of her hair that fall forwards in front of her bandana, brushes one of them back gently. Tess smiles at him, a silent thank you, and she gently resituates the little baby in her arms.

"Oh - look how small her nose is," Joel says. As if in response to this, Ellie scrunches her face up and makes a quiet little sound. Tess turns to look at him - she's never known something so innocent or tender to come out of Joel's mouth. Tender, maybe. But still; she smiles, slightly astonished. Joel reaches forwards, as if anxious he might hurt her, and strokes the bridge of her scrunchy nose until it smoothes out and Ellie simply looks rather confused. She blinks up at her daddy, and he smiles almost breathlessly down at her. Then she fuffles down into her bundle and closes her eyes.

"Tessa, she's perfect," he manages.

Tess shakes her head, smiles down at her. "She's a perfect little potato." She presses her lips together and looks down contemplatively at their baby, at this small mixture of the two of them, and then she points her finger sternly at Joel. "We promised. We're not gonna fuck her up. We're gonna teach her nice, good things, and we're gonna teach her how to apply, uh, our business model in - positive ways."

He nods seriously. "Never gonna expose her to violence. Well - I mean, not - not if we can help it." He looks at the small, innocent face; barely twelve hours old, brand new still.

"Right. And - and we're gonna do our best never to lose our patience with you," Tess says quietly, squishing the baby in the blankets and shirt.

"We're gonna raise you right," Joel tells her. He edges closer to Tess, stretches out his arm for her to settle into, and she moves Ellie so that she's a little closer between them. Together they look down upon her, anxious and hovering somewhat. It is rather out of the norm for the two of them. It is the only field in a long, long while in which they have felt naïve (or rather, in which they have been naïve but had great faith in themselves).

It is the first time since Tess that Joel has really allowed himself to feel a single thing; and for Tess it is her relief, the feeling of putting her baby to her breast and cuddling her close and inhaling the soft, clean newborn scent, the relief that often comes when she lays across Joel's chest and listens to his heart beat.

"You hear that," Tess whispers, careful and anxious not to wake Ellie. "Your daddy's gonna raise you so well."

"Your mama's gonna be the best mama to you," he says.

"But really, your daddy's gonna do - be the bulk of the role model."

"But not 's much as your mama. You're gonna look up to her."

"But mostly to your daddy."

Tess looks at him. "Really?"

He grins. Nudges her gently.