Author's Note: Only a few chapters left to this story. This chapter is a long one. Some mildly graphic content.

Unspoken Wishes

Chapter Thirty One

"Have Heart"

Mid October, 1980.

When Petunia opened the door to their bedroom, she saw Severus still in bed, lying on his side and staring silently at the wall. A deep sense of pity bubbled in her chest at the sight of him.

The past few weeks had been rough. Severus could barely get himself out of bed on his good days, and he had lost the motivation for most things. He hadn't made any move towards her for a long time, either.

Petunia had tried to sneak a kiss, coerce him to shake away his stupor and cheer up, pull her towards him once again, but it was all in vain. He would not be cheered. And it was making her feel awful, too.

Before their lockdown, Severus had nipped to the store and spent a small fortune on food and supplies.

"It's like some sort of zombie apocalypse. And we're all locked up in here, stocked up!" She had exclaimed.

"Trust me, love," He had replied, diligently stacking cans of food in the kitchen cupboards. "This is much, much worse,"

He hadn't been wrong. For ages, Petunia hadn't even been round to a friend's, or over to Lily's. They hadn't gone out for dinner, or to the mall, or even out for an errand in town. She felt suffocated, even if she did have her hands full with the baby. Most days she amused herself with playing with Will, watching him giggle, watching him slowly roll over onto his stomach and smile up at her when she talked to him.

Severus had insisted at first that their self-imposed house arrest was going to be brief, temporary.

"We'll make it," He had enthused. "You and me. Together,"

And for a while they had. But now…

"Sev?" She called out. He did not stir.

"Severus…" Petunia neared their bed and sat down on it. It dipped slightly as she edged towards him, reaching her hand out for his shoulder. "Severus? Are you...?"

"I'm awake, love," He said, with little expression.

"Look at me, please,"

He hesitated, and then turned around to face her, his eyes looking utterly miserable.

"Severus," Petunia said again, looking at him with appal. Her fingers stroked his cheek. "You haven't even shaved, darling,"

"What's the point?" He intoned, "Grows back the very next day,"

"Severus, get up!"

"Look, love, let me be. I've got a mighty headache,"

"This is ridiculous. You're not going to go on like this a minute longer!"

"I'm fine," He hissed.

"Then show me," Petunia said fiercely, now deeply concerned for him. Severus scowled at her, and turned away. "Leave me alone,"

"Severus, you can't just lose hope like this. You need to…"

"Hope?" He laughed without humor. "Hope? Been stuck here at home for weeks on end and every time I think it's safe to venture forth, it's not. Like they're tracking my every move,"

"You're paranoid."

"They know where we live. Trust me on that one, love,"

"Then why haven't they attacked us yet?"

"Biding their time…" He muttered. "Trying to torture me…"

"You've gone insane."

"Well, we both have, cooped up in here," He retorted.

"Then come out with me. Get some fresh air. Have a...have a smoke,"

He flinched, clearly startled by her statement. "A smoke?"

"Yes. If it...if it makes you feel better, more like yourself,"

He turned to face her again, his dark eyes wide. She couldn't help it—she reached for his face with her hand and caressed it. "Please get up. For me. I can't see you brooding like this. I love…"

"Don't," His eyes narrowed.

"Why not?" She was startled.

"Because you deserve bloody better, Petunia," He said with surprising resentment. "And I'm tired of pretending you don't,"

XXX

To Petunia's surprise he does eventually get up, and comes downstairs shaved.

Unwilling to ruin the moment, she holds Will up in her arms and grins, "Look Will, it's Daddy. You've missed him, haven't you?"

Severus's eyes softened at the sight of the baby and he scooped Will up from Petunia's arms, laughing as the infant put his little hand on his button. He held him out in front of him, holding him from under the armpits.

"Where are your toys, Will?" He asked, bouncing the baby and making him giggle, his bare pink gums showing. "Your mum made me spend a small fortune on all of them but still keeps it all stuck in their boxes!"

"I'm just trying to make them last longer," Petunia smiled wryly.

Severus rolled his eyes at her, and Petunia, excited at his positive change of mood, suddenly said, "Let's all play together now, yeah? Mum, Dad, and Will,"

Severus looked amused, "Suppose so. What do you say, Will?" He looked at Will again, bouncing him gently once more, making the baby let out another small gurgle of excitement, clearly enjoying the attention.

XXX

Petunia kissed the dark tufts of hair on her baby's head, rocking him gently to soothe him. William was now almost five months old and growing fast. She reckoned she had never seen a more darling baby in her life. So docile, so sweet-tempered!

"That's right, poppet," She cooed at him. "No more fussing, love. There, there—oh, look, he's smiling!"

"Give him to me, hey," Severus insisted, from his place down on the playroom floor. "He wants to be with me."

Petunia sat down on the floor cross-legged, still holding the baby. "Be careful…"

"What? You don't think I can take care of my own son?"

"Of course you can. But you have an odd way of scaring him when you play..."

"He loves it. He loves my games, don't you, Will?"

The baby let out a squeal as Severus suddenly levitated him out of Petunia's lap and gently onto his own.

He propped him up against his chest and then, grinning, snapped his fingers. A small, lifeless doll lying on the floor suddenly stood to attention and began to walk towards them.

"Gods! That is creepy!" Petunia cried, as the baby let out another squeal, looking very surprised. Severus lowered a hand to the floor, the doll walking up onto the palm of his hand. He lifted it up. "Here you go, Will. Play with the doll,"

"You're going to scare the living daylights out of him, you dolt,"

"No, see, he likes it," Sure enough the baby was tentatively reaching out for the doll. Will stared at it intently and then…

"Oi! Don't eat it," Severus pulled the doll out of his grasp, making Will begin to fuss, his blue eyes watering.

"Oh, see, you're upsetting him. Let him have it," Petunia said quickly.

"But he's trying to have it for his lunch. To think we bought all these toys, only for him to think it's some sort of food!"

"Well, he's a hungry little guy, just like his father,"

"Just wait till you're old enough to eat real food, Will," Severus said. "We can have trips to the chippy every weekend,"

Will reached out for the doll again, his eyes shining with frustrated tears. Holding it in his little fist, he shook it as hard as he could, a smile forming on his face as he watched the doll's little hair bounce about.

Severus burst out laughing, but Petunia was horrified.

"The doll's screaming!" She suddenly realised with horror. "It's mouth's wide open and all!"

"It's just a doll, hun. Not actually alive,"

"But...but it looks like—"

"It's funny, love. At least it's not being eaten whole, is it?"

"You're twisted, Sev," Petunia shuddered, still looking at the doll with awe. "I want my Will to have a conventional, non scarring childhood,"

Severus raised an eyebrow at that and opened his mouth to say something before thinking the better of it.

"What?"

"What?" Severus replied, setting the baby down on the floor experimentally. It lay on its stomach and let go of the doll. To Petunia's great surprise, the doll pushed itself back up and ran with surprising speed for the door. Severus snapped his fingers again and it toppled over to the floor, lifeless once more. Will's attention had now wandered over to the trains set, and he reached out a small hand towards it, making little noises.

"That look. What did you want to say?" Petunia pressed.

"Nothing,"

"Tell me," She insisted.

"I was just wondering. We live in a Muggle neighborhood and Will here's got all these Muggle toys. Well, they are Muggle ones originally," He shoots her a cheeky grin. "...I was just wondering how he'd grow up. Which side would he be tilted to?"

"Well, you lived in the Muggle world for years. You seem pretty magic to me,"

"You're right," He laughed nervously. "In the end, I suppose that's what he is—a Halfblood,"

"A...Halfblood?" Petunia looked intrigued. "Does that...does that make any difference?"

She saw him flinch, his expression changing. He looked at her, looking almost surprised. He paused, and then answered, as if mulling it over, "No...It doesn't make any difference,"

XXX

"You're lying to me," Petunia said a little while later, as she watched him struggle with the infamous train set. "...There's a switch just underneath the carriage," She said after a moment.

"These toys are complicated," He murmured, looking genuinely flustered. Seemingly finding the switch, he quickly set the train down on the floor, reattaching it to the rest of the carriages. The long vehicle began to move and Will, who was back in her lap, giggled loudly, his light eyes widening in surprise.

"Severus, were you being honest?"

"What are you on about?" Severus's dark eyes followed the train, which was now moving around the room while the baby squealed, unable to do much but watch it with wonder from his place in his mother's lap.

"About it making no difference," Petunia struggled to hold Will still, such was his excitement.

"Your parents were both Muggles. Lily was fine, wasn't she?"

"I know what she is," Petunia countered. "A Muggleborn. And her kind is targeted by the Death Eaters all the time!"

Severus looked at her fiercely, surprisingly angry, "Don't talk about them!"

"I'm not going to stay in denial like you,"

"I'm not in bloody denial. But we can give it a rest! I'm sick of discussing them. I'm—"

"Well, I can't give it a rest if it means that our son could—"

"He's got one Magic parent, hasn't he?" Severus snapped. "I'm enough. I should be! My mum was enough for me! It's not my fault he…" He shook his head, not finishing the sentence. "Look, the last person I want to discuss blood purity with is you,"

"Why's that?"

But Severus's expression made it clear that the discussion was over.

XXX

That night, he was stiff and awkward even when she cuddled up against his back.

"...Are you angry at me?" She whispered, resting her forehead against his back.

She felt him sigh. "No, love,"

"You won't hold me anymore. You haven't in days,"

He sighed, turning around on his side and looking at her with strange curiosity, as if he couldn't understand her. "What do you want me to hold you for?"

"I just...I just feel restless,"

"What are you restless for?"

"I...I just don't feel safe without...well…"

"What d'you mean?"

"...I just don't feel safe when you don't hold me like this. These days,"

"What've you got to be scared of?"

"Nothing…" She said awkwardly.

"You're not worrying about...them, are you?"

"The Death Eaters?"

His expression darkened again and she quickly put a hand down on his. "No. No, I'm not, Severus. You're doing so much—"

"I haven't been lying uselessly all day, you know," He said bitterly. "I've been over dozens of spellbooks, protective charms…"

"I know, I know,"

"Then, why?" He sounded frustrated. "I'm doing all I can. To keep you safe. Haven't I been keeping you s—"

"You have, Sev. Don't get worked up, please,"

He sighed, and averted his eyes. She looked away too, now feeling miserable. After a moment, she felt him shift and to her surprise, pull her against him, settling them both comfortably so that their legs tangled with each others and he could feel her comforting softness and she could feel his reassuring firmness.

"...Like this?" He said quietly.

"Mmm…" She mumbled, relishing their closeness. "I've missed you,"

"I'm sorry I've been...distant,"

"I know you're stressed out. But Severus, it's...it's bordering on paranoia,"

"I don't want to discuss this,"

"Don't avoid me. You hole yourself in this room all day. You only come out for meals and even then…"

"I play with Will too, don't I? You watch us—getting along better than me and my D—"

"Definitely a marked improvement from you and your father, I'll agree...Did he ever play with you?" Her tone is light and sardonic.

Severus scoffed. "He was scared witless by my magic and you know what people do when they're afraid of something,"

"I know," She replied, because she had been similar too. "They turn to the offensive,"

"Yeah, reckon he never liked me much. But…Well, I do remember some alright times. Eons ago. Could barely tie my laces,"

"That's good. After all, you were his so—"

"That's the thing, 'Tunia," His voice was tired, getting quieter. "About the past, I mean. You glamorise all the good bits. And the bad bits get all blurred. One good day in a hundred bad ones isn't enough,"

"What about us?" She said, trying to steer away the topic. "What's our ratio?"

"About even," He joked.

She tweaked his ear, making him flinch, "Ow!"

"Serves you right. Anyways, this isn't what I wanted to discuss with you,"

"Was hoping you'd forget, really,"

"Sev…" She put a hand on his chest, and even though the room was dark, the faint moonlight from their window allowed her to see the contours of his face, the outlines of his frame. "...How much longer?"

She felt him stiffen. His lips parted, then clamped shut tightly, and he moved away from her a little.

"Just a little longer,"

"It's not me I'm worried about. You know I'm busy enough with Will. Feeding him and all. It's you I worry about,"

"Me?"

"I know you're restless, frustrated. You hate hiding. You're not a—"

"I am," He said softly. "Trust me, I am,"

"No. You're very brave. It runs through your blood. I know you,"

Brave? That's more Gryffindor than Slytherin. What bothered him more was that he liked being called brave. "Love, I'll do the worrying for the both of us, alright?"

"Then, do you know when we can…?"

"Soon," He kissed her forehead quellingly. He paused. "...I don't mean to shut you off,"

"You're not, I said—"

"Bloody hell, I feel awful now. I know you need some fresh air. You're human, just like me. Petunia—"

"Sssh. Please. We can go on for hours and hours about who's suffering the most. I have you, that's enough for me," There was a silence, and it was almost as if he could read her mind. But am I enough for you?

"You are," He said suddenly. He reached for her hand and squeezed it. He didn't feel the familiar spark of magic he felt with his classmates, with his friends. It was an ordinary hand, only blood flowing through its veins. And he loved it—it felt like home.

She sniffed, lowering her head.

"Look at me, hey," He said softly, a little alarmed. "Petunia, you're more than enough for me. You're...you're the only reason I haven't fallen completely into despair. You and Will,"

"You won't even...you won't even…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "Forget it."

"Tell me," He insisted, looking worried now.

"I just care about you, Severus, and I can't bear seeing you so miserable. You spend hours alone, either in bed or studying all those spellbooks, looking for ways out. You don't...you don't even have hope anymore. It's like you're waiting. Waiting to die! And I know I'm to blame. I brought this danger into your life. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm a—"

"Don't!" He said fiercely, making her stop mid-speech, startled.

A flush had risen in his face. "You brought danger into my life? Are you thick? At least I know what I'm dealing with! You've got no idea how to deal with any of this, you've had a sheltered and comfortable life most your life! I brought you into this mess and I don't even know how to keep you safe. And I've locked the three of us in here like an idiot and now I can't even take a step out of the house without feeling watched, or as if I'm about to be attacked! You don't deserve any of this, Petunia,"

"But if I wasn't a Muggle..."

"I don't care if you can't do bloody magic, Petunia!" He said angrily. "Because you know what I've learnt? I've learnt that there are other things to people besides whether or not they can wave a wand around. Courage. Loyalty. Being a decent human being to others," He let out a sharp breath. "People are more than just magic or no magic. What a radical thought, yeah? And it took me years to understand it. You made me understand it! So you can't do magic? So what? I know plenty of people who can and I bloody despise them! You stayed by me when things were rough, not them, and you showed more guts than most of them! And after all these years it's you who I fancy lying in bed next to, not any of them, not in spite of your lack of magic but because you're you. Does that make sense?" He was a little breathless, and for a moment she didn't answer.

"I...do," She sounded surprised. She paused. "...I'm proud of you, Severus,"

"For what? Having basic human decency?"

"No. Because you've really changed," She said, looking at him with admiration. "You're a good man. If there's anybody who can oppose them, it's you. You're not biased, or evil, or prejudiced,"

"I'm not all that great,"

"You are, to me," She settled down against his chest again, closing her eyes. "You've always been."

XXX

Severus's mood the next morning is very on edge, and Petunia can tell that he's stressed. His fingers drum on the table as she puts a plate of breakfast in front of him, warm eggs and toast, with a cup of tea.

"No coffee?" He asks, reaching for a fork.

"All out,"

He pauses, and then, as if afraid to ask, "And butter?"

"Finished last week,"

He looks irritated, but swallows back a further comment.

"We're running out of things?" He finally asks a few minutes later, his voice oddly quiet.

"We've been running out of things for a while. The stocks—"

"But I'm sure we have enough for a couple more months? Maybe one or two?"

Her eyes very nearly pop out of her head. How long is he going to keep us trapped in here?

"No," She says firmly, "We don't have that much at all,"

"No?" His voice has an edge to it. "Are you s—"

"Just eat your breakfast, Severus," She feels her temper rising.

"We can't have run out! I made sure it'd all last a couple of months!"

"It has been a couple of months,"

"Only one and a half!" He protests.

"Severus, just eat, will you?" She snaps. "You're giving me a headache with all your arguing,"

XXX

Her snapping at him doesn't help matters. He is even more distant and aloof, and makes snide comments whenever he can.

"I know where I'm not wanted," He says petulantly once, leaving the room and disappearing into his study without a backwards glance.

Petunia is annoyed, and strained. She doesn't think she can stand another hour locked at home with only Severus for company, especially with him acting like a royal pain.

They don't speak the entire day. At lunchtime Petunia leaves a plate of food outside his study door, knocks, and then slips away.

Hours later, in the evening, she is putting Will to bed when she suddenly feels him standing in the doorway, behind her.

She doesn't look at him, and busies herself with tucking Will in. The baby is sucking his fist, and she concentrates on looking anywhere but at her husband.

Severus hesitates, swallows, and then mumbles, "I'm sorry,"

It's been a few hours since Petunia's heard him, his deep, silky, throaty voice, and she swallows, realising just how much she can miss someone who's been living in the same house as her for ages.

When she's quiet, he tries again, "I'm—"

"I heard you,"

He shifts awkwardly. "Well?"

She finally looks at him, and raises an eyebrow. "No more mood swings?"

"None whatsoever,"

"And badgering me about whether or not things are really running out?"

"No. I'm sorry,"

She sighs, walking towards him and putting a hand on his face, "It's alright,"

"I know I've been acting like a neurotic git," He says in a rush. "I've probably been driving you crazy with all this. It's been too long, we need ou—"

"Severus, I promised to stay by your side through everything. Rain or shine. But we're running low on food, and simple things like toothpaste! And you've grown paranoid. There's no one out there, Severus. No one can see us!"

"But what if…"

"No!" She grabs his hands and forces him to look at her furious face. "No one! Nothing! No one's biding their time, or hiding behind the bushes. And we're not being hunted down—" She suddenly freezes as Severus flinches, and pulls his hands away abruptly. That's when she realises what has happened.

His mark.

He sinks to the floor, but doesn't make a sound, even as his face grows redder and redder. Petunia helps him up immediately, assisting him back to their bedroom, onto the bed and onto his back.

"Sssh. It's fine. It's fine," She hugs him tightly around the waist, even as he shivers, his teeth gritted. Then, just as quickly as it started, it ends, and he lies back, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," He gasps. "It wasn't as bad as the last one,"

"And shorter, too,"

"What d'you think it could mean?" When he looks at her, his eyes are almost accusing, his eyebrows raised. I was right, they seem to say.

"I don't know. Something must have happened. Something in particular,"

Severus watches her with raised eyebrows, until she flushes, "Well, I don't know!"

"What could possibly have happened?"

"How am I to know that?"

"Well, I reckon we'll be finding out soon…" He mutters darkly.

XXX

Their desperation is almost tangible the next few days.

Severus tries his best to play the part. He'll charm the dolls again, or help the baby colour, his larger hand helping to hold the crayon in the tinier one, laughing when the child coos over the streaks of colour.

"Mini-you!" Petunia loves to say.

And when he's alone with her he'll pretend that everything is just fine, that he isn't losing his mind.

Because inside, he even misses work. Misses their freedom. Wants to know what's happening firsthand, not through cryptic letters and newspaper articles. And especially not through his Mark burning.

Lily calls once, crying on the line. A classmate they had both known, missing.

"Sev, stay safe. Keep Tuney safe. Please. I can't stop thinking about her. It feels good knowing you bought a house in the Muggle world,"

"I'm still connected to the wizarding world. But it's hard to keep track of both,"

"Well, we have practice. Half blood and Muggleborn," She says, laughing nervously. "Take care of her, alright? James and I will keep you updated."

When he finally forces himself up to shave, Severus stares at his face in the mirror, assessing himself. His hair is clean from his recently taken shower, his skin still very much sallow and pale. His shoulders have broadened out a bit, but he still sees his scrawniness, his angular, lanky body more suited to a gangling teenager than to a man of 20 and a half.

What does she see in me? He wonders for the umpteenth time.

XXX

One day, Severus wakes up suddenly to the sound of a dresser drawer shutting close. He opens his eyes blearily, as they slowly adjust to the sunlight pouring in from where the curtain hasn't been completely drawn close.

His eyes swivel around and then find the source of the noise. Petunia is standing near the dresser in her night clothes and she is…

Severus catches his breath sharply. She is unzipping her nightie from the back and as she does, pushing it off her shoulders, revealing her pale, slender body. He stares shamelessly as her creamy, smooth skin is exposed. Her long, blonde hair sweeps around as she steps closer to the dresser.

Severus can feel the desire building in him as he watches her rifle through the drawer in nothing but her undergarments, tutting, selecting and discarding clothes, until she finally pulls out a new bra and sets it out on the top. She reaches behind her, and unhooks the one she is already wearing.

Severus inhales sharply, excited, and she suddenly pauses. His heart begins to beat painfully against his chest—has she seen him? But if she has she doesn't say anything, nor does she look at him directly. But her lips curve up in a smile, smug and teasing, and she takes off her old bra unconcernedly.

He's very interested now, and he feels the blood leave his head. He has seen her countless times before, but it does little to dissipate the lust building up in his body, or the fire in his eyes, or the tight grip of his fingers on the duvet. She carefully wears the new one, hooking it, and then halts, her smile still intact. She does not reach for the drawer again, and instead says softly and wryly, cocking her head, "Just going to ogle me, are you?"

Severus flushes red and as she continues smirking at him, mumbles, "...You woke me up,"

"Of course," She raises an eyebrow. "And kept you up, too, didn't I?"

"Well, what did you expect? You know I fancy you," He says quickly.

She smiles again, and then says, teasingly, "Do you only fancy watching me?"

Catching her drift, he says in a low, breathless voice, "No. Come back to bed and I'll do more than just watch you,"

She laughs, and walks over to him, as he pushes himself off the bed. As she nears him, he picks her up, making her squeal. Grinning, he spins her around once before holding her in his arms and kissing her hard, making her sigh in his mouth.

He lays her down gently on the bed, marvelling at her long, pale legs and limber arms, her fair hair spread out beneath her. In just her knickers and bra, he can't tear his eyes away.

He kisses her again, passionately, until she draws away, breathless, her fingers tangling in his hair. He kisses her again, despite her breathlessness, until she is almost trembling, murmuring little pleas.

"Let's get this off you, yeah?" He murmurs in her ear, his hands unhooking her bra deftly. He throws it to a corner of the bed, and then puts his hands on the waistband of her knickers. "And these, too. You're overdressed, love,"

He pulls them down her legs and her face is absolutely scarlet as he lies his body flush against hers and kisses her. He eventually pulls off his own T-shirt, throwing it to the floor, before continuing to kiss her.

"Weeks," She says, a little undercurrent of anger in her lofty voice. "Weeks since you even touched me, or snogged me, or shagg—"

"I thought you wanted some space," His voice, in contrast, is low; she has to strain to hear it. He is speaking against her skin, kissing it, making it difficult for her to think. "From everything…"

"I wanted you," She falters as he leaves small, red bite marks all over her body. "Oh, Sev, ow—not so hard!"

"You love it," He says defiantly, biting hard at her shoulder, making her gasp.

"Easy for you to say," She hisses, as he continues his perusal of her body. "You...you hide yours away with magic. I can't do that. I'm always adjusting my collar or…"

"Don't hide these," He grazes his teeth over a previous bruise, watching as the blood rushes back to it when he lets go. "You're mine, love,"

She pulls his face towards her's and kisses him hard, until she is slowly sliding away from under his lean body and has pushed him onto his back, straddling him.

"And you're mine," She says defiantly, watching as his eyes glitter as he grins at her excitedly. She kisses along his jaw, feeling his stubble, down his throat, along his adam's apple, then across his warm chest. She adores the feel of him, and they snog soundly for a few minutes. She unbuttons his jeans, helps him shuck them off, and then his hands roam towards her breasts and he makes her fall against him with a sigh, her eyes closed.

She can almost hear the smile in his voice, "Tell me you want me,"

"Sev…"

"Tell me," He whispers hotly in her ear. "Say it, love,"

"I...I…" His fingers are drawing wicked patterns on her skin now, and she blurts out breathlessly: "I want you,"

He deftly flips her over, pinning her under him, and holds her hands in his, on either side of her.

"I love you," He groans into her ear. "I love you, I love you, I love you,"

"I love you, too,"

"I haven't fancied anyone the way I fancy you," He tells her in a rush. "I love you more than anything,"

He watches her expression intently, and she looks awestruck, as if no one had ever told her that before. In the heat of the moment, he aligns his body with her's and then says, "Let me make up for those lost weeks, love,"

XXX

He holds her in his arms later, as he pads across their downstairs. She clings to his neck, kissing it reverently, as he enters the kitchen.

"You're distracting me, love," He says wryly as she nibbles his earlobe.

"From what?" She kisses him again.

"From making you breakfast,"

"Don't put me down," She whines.

"What? You want me to carry you all day?" He laughs.

"Yes!"

"What? No more walking, love?"

"No. I deserve a break from all this cooking and keeping the house in order. Not to mention taking care of Will. All you do is play with him and corrupt his mind with your creepy little games. Dolls are meant to be lifeless, and so are other inanimate objects!"

"Try to have an imagination, love,"

"I reckon I'll have nightmares one day about those soldiers you brought to life,"

"You squealed like a little girl," He teases, enjoying her uncomfortable flush. "You were begging me to lift the spell!"

"There were so many of them! Marching towards me!"

"You were their opposition. Their tall, tall opposition,"

"Sev! I hate you,"

"Oi! Don't say that," He lifts her up higher in his arms, giving her a little bounce so that she squeals and laughs.

"And if I do?" She teases.

He bends his head and kisses her soundly, pushing his tongue inside her mouth. They are locked in that position for several minutes until he breaks away, and starts nibbling at her neck.

"Take it back," He says playfully, kissing the spot that makes her melt.

"I take it back," She's laughing, enjoying the attention. "I love you, Sev,"

He sucks in his breath, clearly enjoying the sentiment. "Even when I'm a prat?"

"Lucky for you, yes,"

"Reckon I should just lay you down right here and—"

"—But, Severus—"

"—until your voice is hoarse and you're too tired to move—"

"Sev!" She interrupts him. "We need to get a move on, love. Didn't you promise me something?"

"Right," He says, regretfully. "Promise first,"

XXX

She sits patiently on the kitchen chair, watching as he shuffles through the cupboards, his demeanor getting more and more agitated.

"No eggs," He says finally, with little expression.

"No," She agrees.

"Merlin," He laughs nervously. "What do I make you? What kind of breakfast has no eggs?"

"Sev…"

"I've got it," He says, opening another cupboard. "Pancakes. I can make those. Just have to pour in the batter and fry them up, yeah?"

"...Yeah,"

He takes out the box of pancake mix and gets to work, pulling out a frying pan and putting it on the stove.

She shifts on the chair. "We're out of matchsticks too, Severus,"

He snaps his fingers and fire bursts forth from the stovetop. He pours in the batter. "We've got something better, love. Magic."

"I don't have magic," She says tersely. "Or will you snap your fingers every time I have to cook something?"

She sees his eyebrow raise, and tries to swallow away her annoyance.

He rifles in the fridge for syrup, or even some fruit or cream, and swears as the only thing he can find is a handful of strawberries.

"What?" She challenges. "Can't snap your fingers and create food, can you?"

"Careful, love," His voice is a little hard as he cuts the strawberries in halves. "Don't make me overseason your pancake batter, yeah?" He glances meaningfully at the salt with some menace.

"I'm not saying anything wrong."

"No, you're just itching for an argument," He says. "And for me to burn these,"

"Oh, don't be petty,"

"I'm not the one grouching," He snaps. "You don't always have to be so lippy,"

"Excuse me?" She flares up. "You refuse to realise we can't survive on scraps and leftovers and I'm the lippy one for pointing it out?"

He finally turns towards her, and his expression is dark. "So you do want to argue?"

"No! I just want you to listen to me,"

"I am listening, and I don't want to discuss this right now, okay?"

She is flabbergasted; he had never been so thick before!

"Sev—"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," He snaps. "Are you going to stop being stroppy or not?"

"You are an absolute prat!" She shouts. "And absolutely thick!"

Just then, the phone rings and she gets up furiously to answer it.

XXX

When she returns, there is a plate of food on the table. Three pancakes, with strawberries, and a drizzle of chocolate sauce she knows he fished out from the very back of the fridge.

She looks at him, and he is sitting dolefully on the kitchen chair, not looking at her.

Although a little clumsy, the meal has a lot of heart in it and it makes Petunia soften, just a bit.

She walks over to him and lifts his face up to look at her. His dark eyes are apprehensive.

"Severus, it looks amazing,"

"Right," He looks away quickly, his shoulders slumped

"...I shouldn't have shouted,".

"No, no," He says quickly, looking back at her with widened eyes. "It was my fault,"

"But I should have considered how much stress you're under taking care of us,"

"It's nothing. I would do anything for you,"

"I know. D'you want to forget about it?"

"Yes," He says immediately. "I can't stand you angry at me."

She hugs him, and he buries his head in her dress, almost like a child.

She finally sits down and starts to take a bite out of the pancakes, as he now watches her eagerly.

"Good?"

"Better than good. Great!"

He smiles. "Who was on the phone?"

She chews thoughtfully, swallows, and then looks at him warily, "Lily."

"Everything OK?"

"Yes. Well…" Petunia bites her lip. "Well, actually, she invited us over for dinner at her house."

She watches him hesitate, and feels like she already knows what his answer is going to be.

But Severus surprises her.

"We can go," He says, watching as her face splits into a grin.

"It's safe?"

"...It's safe."

"That's brilliant!" Petunia exclaims. "I'm so excited! Will's going to finally get to meet his cousin again,"

"...I don't think I want him getting too close to Potter's son,"

"Lily's son, too,"

"Still! It's creepy. The sons of James Potter and Severus Snape, friends—"

"Cousins!"

"That's even worse! You don't know what we were like in school. We couldn't be ten feet of each other without drawing out our wands—"

"Much better now, isn't it?" She mused, "You're both on very good terms,"

Severus scoffed, "Well, whatever you say… But something tells me that they'll never be bosom friends,"

"Something tells me that they will. They'll spend their entire childhoods together."

XXX

When they finally apparated to Godric's Hollow, and knocked on the front door, Severus was oddly gratified to see Lily after what he deemed ages.

"Severus! Petunia!" She immediately hugged her sister tightly. "I've missed you two terribly." She stooped down to peer at the sleeping William, smiling. "And I've missed little Will the most,"

"We've missed you, too," Petunia said sincerely.

They entered the house, the familiar cosy furniture and warm glow enveloping them.

"He's grown so much since we last met! He's adorable…"

"We'd love to see your Harry, too!"

"He's with James," Lily said, smiling. "James is awful in the kitchen. He just makes a mess. So I entrusted him with taking care of Harry while I cooked," By this time they had entered the living room, where James Potter was holding a sleeping Harry in his arms while he leaned back on the sofa, looking slightly tired.

Upon seeing them, he sat up immediately, giving them all his usual, trademark smile, "Well if it isn't my brother and sister in law!"

He stood up, still holding Harry, and neared them, smiling down at Will, "And my nephew, of course,"

"Long time, James," Petunia said pleasantly.

Severus scowled next to her, but the two men exchanged niceties and then seemed to relax, making casual conversation with each other.

"Where have you been, Snape?"

"Missed me?" Severus quipped.

Potter grinned, "Not bloody likely. But we were worried—Lily and I. What's been happening?"

"Been keeping low," Severus replied, murmuring. "Just some...Clashes with some old friends."

"And you think you've thrown them off?"

"Used every spell in the book," Severus said, running a hand through his hair. "Every last one. You've heard of—?"

Petunia's attention eventually wavered and she joined Lily in the kitchen, her sister using her wand to levitate something out of the oven.

"It's your favourite," She said, sensing Petunia's presence as she lowered it gently to the table. "Roast beef,"

"Oh, Lily, you didn't have to go through so much trouble…"

"Nonsense," Lily smiled, turning to face her. "It's been so long, Petunia. I'm dying to hear what's been happening,"

"I want to know about you as well. Has everything been okay?"

For a strange moment, she almost felt as if Lily's smile wavered. But the redhead took a deep breath and smiled again, "Of course. Want to help with dessert?"

XXX

There was pumpkin soup and roast beef with mash and salad and sandwiches. Dessert included custard and Lily's signature chocolate cake.

Petunia smiled as she saw Severus wolf it all down eagerly, cutting himself a generous slice of cake to finish off his meal.

"You must give me your recipe for the soup, Lil. It's amazing!"

"Thank you," Lily laughed. Petunia could not put her finger on it but her sister seemed rather subdued, not at all like her usual cheery self.

When they were all done with dinner, they went into the living-room. Severus and Potter were still talking to each other. Petunia could not make head or tails of their conversation; it was so heavily infused with magical references.

Instead, she sat with Lily, the sisters both swapping children and gushing over their nephews.

"He reminds me of Severus, alright," Lily smiled, her finger in William's fist. "That dark hair. But his eyes are just like yours, Tuney!"

"Oh, Lil," Petunia suddenly looked at her nephew's eyes. "They're—"

Lily laughed lightly. "Yes. He does have something of me, after all!"

"They're such a beautiful green," Petunia murmured, truly enchanted.

But Lily's smile faltered now, and she looked away quickly.

Petunia noticed this strange action, and asked in a concerned voice, "Lily, are you alright?"

Lily swallowed. "Of course. Why do you ask?"

"You just don't seem like yourself, that's all," Petunia said hesitantly.

"Oh, Petunia…" Lily's voice trembled. "I just...I'm...How can I tell you…"

"Lily...Look at me. You have to tell me what's wrong," She put a hand on her younger sister's shoulder, watching as the redhead suddenly bent her head, trying her best to hold back her tears. "Lil?"

James and Severus looked over at them, and James stood up immediately, rushing to her side.

"Lily," He said, his voice deep with worry. "Lily, what happened? What's wrong?"

"Everything!" Lily cried, her voice full of anguish. Severus stood up, too, his face full of concern. "Lily, did something happen?"

James suddenly flinched, and looked at his wife warningly. "There's no need…"

"No James," She said. "They have a right to know. They're...they're practically family,"

"Lily, Dumbledore said—"

"Dumbledore?" Severus's eyebrows shot upwards. "What does he have to do with this?"

James and Lily seemed to have a silent glaring match between themselves.

"There's no need…" James said again, sounding incensed.

"If the Order knows, then…"

"We promised to keep this between us...Between us, Sirius, Peter and Remus. And Dumbledore,"

"You don't think it's important to tell my own sister? And her husband?"

"Tell us what?" Severus asked tersely.

"James," Lily said again.

"Merlin, fine!" James snapped. "But we want this conversation to stay here, in this house. We can't afford to–"

"We can trust them," Lily insisted.

Petunia held her hand and caressed it comfortingly. "Go on, Lil. We're listening."

And so Lily took a deep breath and began.

XXX

Summoning up her courage, Petunia glanced over at Severus, and sucked in her breath sharply. His face was red with repressed emotion and his hands were clenched tightly into fists. He was almost vibrating with rage.

"Who—?" He asked, his voice full of emotion.

"We don't know,"

"But neither Dumbledore nor him heard the entire thing?" He pressed.

"No. Only the first bit…"

"But how could...It could be anyone!"

"No, Sev," Lily said gently.

Severus looked away, and Petunia could see his chin trembling. She knew he was about to burst.

"Severus, maybe you should go get some fresh air," She said in a low voice. She felt leaden herself, and confused, and helpless, but she knew that Severus felt in a strange, twisted way, almost guilty. And she didn't know why.

"I don't need any fresh air!" He said sharply. "I need to talk sense into whoever that bugger was—"

"Severus, no!" Lily said loudly. "You can't let anyone know we know anything about this. Dumbledore said it's an equal chance of Him targeting either us or…"

"Frank and Alice Longbottom," James shrugged. "...They fit the prophecy, too."

"Then…" Severus's eyes lit up.

"Severus! It's awful either way!" Lily reprimanded him.

"Look, this is ridiculous. It can't be real. Prophecies aren't...they're not facts!"

"Still a skeptic, aren't you?" Lily gave a small, sad smile.

"I am! I don't believe there's any truth to prophecies. They're just a bunch of lies. You know that, Lily,"

"Well he believes it, apparently," James said darkly. "So it doesn't matter who else does or doesn't, does it?"

"So what now?" Severus demanded. "You're just going to wait and see what happens?"

"No," Lily gave him a sad look. "We're going to have to go into hiding for now, Sev,"

XXX

On their way back home, he lost it.

"Damn it!" Severus strode up ahead and shot a jet of light at the tree in front of him. It immediately burst into flames.

"Severus!" Petunia screamed.

His face was illuminated by the flames. He looked enraged.

"Sev! Sev, make it go away! We'll get into trouble!"

He doused it with water, but he was still furious, the muscles bunching in his jaw. "I can't just let her—them—go into hiding like this!"

"Severus, don't—"

He angrily threw his wand to the ground and buried his face in his hands. Magic seemed to crackle all around him. "I'm useless!"

She rushed towards him and put her hand on his shoulder, shrieking as she felt another crackling of energy against her skin. He was almost buzzing with magic.

"Severus, get a hold of yourself!" She begged.

"I just wanted everything to stay fucking normal!" He shouted, and then fell to his knees in the grass, thick tears dripping down his face.

Petunia lowered herself into the grass, holding him to herself tightly, "Please, Severus. You've got to calm down,"

"Petunia, Lily...She's not one to be locked away, in hiding, like me. She's always been the brave one...you don't understand…"

"I do. She's my sister. She'd rather lay her life down than hide away at home. I know her. But she knows that Harry is more important than anything else right now. She'd hide for years if only to keep him safe...Sev, look at me,"

He glanced at her, hot tears falling down his face and dampening his shirt.

"Sev, you need to have heart. You need to have heart, Sev,"

"I could have...I should have…" He shook his head in despair.

"Sssh…" She pulled his head against her chest. "I know you like to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, but tonight...Tonight just be Severus. Someone who hasn't the slightest control of or impact on any of this..Someone...normal," Someone more like me. "None of this is your fault, I promise you,"

He sobbed into her shirt as she held him in the darkness, until her blouse was wet with not only his tears, but her own.

XXX

A Few Hours Later...

"So that's what my mark burning was all about. A boy born at the end of July...A boy born at the end of July…That could be so many children…" Severus was murmuring to himself.

Petunia silently removed her make-up, not wanting to vex him any further.

"With the power to defeat...defeat him. How could he be so powerful? The son of Lily and Potter…"

"Lily's a good witch, isn't she?"

"She's brilliant," Severus said. "Potter isn't exactly a prodigy but I wouldn't say he's completely incompetent either. But … Well, does it matter what your parents are like? Doesn't affect your magic in the least,"

"No, suppose not,"

Her face now clear of make-up, she settled into bed next to him, and watched as he stared up at the ceiling, still clearly nettled.

"Petunia...I can't believe I used to work for them. I'm scum."

"Severus, don't say that,"

"How could I ever have thought...and now they're targeting her directly. Them. The Death Eaters! Petunia, I can't let this happen…"

"Severus, calm down. You're just working yourself up."

"I have to talk to Dumbledore! We can't just—"

"Lily told you to keep this to yourself! I'm sure Dumbledore's going to do everything he can to protect them. Lily told me he's the strongest wizard she knows,"

"The only wizard the Dark Lord fears," Severus said absently. "Maybe...maybe if…"

Petunia moved closer to him and put a hand on his own. "Severus, whatever's going to happen will happen. You over-analysing things won't help."

Petunia was deeply worried for her sister and at this point, felt ill with the stress.

First me and Sev, and little Will. Now Lily, too? I feel like I'm losing everyone I love...to Magic. Again!

She turned off the bedside lamp, and they lay silently in the darkness. Finally, she whispered.

"Sev?"

"Mmm?"

"Could you make me a promise?"

"Depends what it is, love,"

"Please never lose sight of things again. If we could make it all the way here, from there, then we can make it from here to anywhere. I know we can,"

He laughed quietly, "What are you referring to, love?"

"Well, remember when we were kids?"

"Yeah?"

"When we fought all the time and you used horrible spells on me?"

He laughed gently again, "What about it, love?"

"We hated each other so much! But look at us now. D'you think either of us could have foreseen this future?"

He paused, then said in a light tone, "No. No, I suppose not,"

"Or how about...Two years ago," She continued. "When we first met in the park. When you told me to shove off and that you thought anyone who could like me was a fool?"

Severus let out a sharp whistle through his teeth, "Ouch, love. I was a bit of a prat, wasn't I?"

"I was going out with Vernon! And you saw me and thought it was ridiculous,"

"Yeah, I loathed him!" Severus said suddenly. "It's been a while since I'd even heard of him,"

"But then you saved me from that spell,"

He turned towards her, his eyes now alight. "Yes, yes. I remember that, too! Merlin!"

"And we had our first kiss ages after. When I ran away and you caught up to me…"

He was smiling, "Mmm. I remember all of it, 'Tunia. I remember how you couldn't get enough of me! Asking for another kiss right after!"

"Cheek!"

"Well," He said. "Now I can't get enough of you."

"No need to flatter me,"

"Really! We went through all that peril, including you being kidnapped by a bunch of Death Eaters, to us being married with a kid, and the hope we live together for years more still,"

"Forever and ever,"

"Yeah,"

"So if that can happen," She looked deep into his black, inky eyes. "...Can't you imagine a good ending for us, all of us? Lily and Potter and you and me, and Will and Harry?"

Severus didn't answer her, but he stared at her with his eyes wide and searching. Then he closed his eyes and kissed her suddenly, wordlessly. Petunia's blue-grey eyes were open in surprise, and when she looked at his face she saw that his eyelashes were clogged with tears.