Skippy's List is one of my favorite pieces of modern humor. I hope I did it, Star Trek, and the Avengers justice. R&R please.

1) Mr. Stark and Lt. Commander Scott are not allowed to build a better still FOR SCIENCE!

2) Commander Spock is more of a mad scientist than Dr. Banner, Mr. Stark and Lt. Commander Scott put together. He's just better at hiding it.

3) Lt. Commander Scott is not allowed to fondle Mr. Stark's arc reactor.

4) Thor is not Captain Kirk's father and stop suggesting otherwise.

5) LT. Uhura and Agent Romanoff are not allowed to plot the demise of Captain Kirk and Mr. Stark Via blue balls.

A) Even if it is well deserved. Anti-Matter is no one's friend.

6) Loki and Khan Noonien Singh are NEVER allowed to be supervised by heterosexual women or homosexual men again.

A) Seriously we are being sued by genocidal war criminals.

7) Lt. Galia and Agent Romanoff are not allowed to start a "League of Red-Headed Sex Goddesses."

8) Ensign Chekov is a highly trained and decorated officer with a genius IQ, advance hand to hand combat training and the ability to drink anyone under the table. He is not an adorable puppy to be cuddled at your discretion.

9) Agent Barton and Lt. Sulu will not steal SHIELD or Federation property to see who the better pilot is.

A) Even if Captain Kirk said it was okay.

10) Swords are not appropriate casual attire, no matter what Thor says.

11) Captain Kirk and Captain Rogers will stop all drinking competitions, sparring matches, math Olympics, trivia games, spelling bees, strategy puzzles, karaoke nights, Crossdressing pageants, marshmallow eating contests, thumb wrestling boughts and poker tournaments in a vain effort to see who is the more Epically Awesome Captain of all time.

12) Ensign Chekov and Peter Parker are not allowed in any lab, weapons locker, chemical stash or rice steamer until every inch of Lab 23 has been thermally cleaned.

13) Crewman Keenser is not an adorable stuffed toy and will not be given to anyone's underage niece