and here we are at the end of the story! it's been a long ride, but it's finally over :( this has been so fun to write, and even more fun to see everyone's reactions to it. I love that simple words can brighten somebody's day (or in some cases, make them cry lmao ok I should really be serious here). ugh I'm so reluctant to end this. it feels like sending a kid off to college or something. well that's enough of my rambling, so without further ado, please enjoy the final chapter of Hiraeth!

ps: if you guys have any requests, I might be willing to write a couple drabbles and upload them as little mini-chapters on here or something, that would be something I'd totally be down for doing. ok that's all enjoy the chap

The aftermath of the aftermath is as follows:

An approximate total of thirty-six missing investigators were rescued from Kanou's lab, twenty-two of which were liberated by Nagachika Hideyoshi and Kaneki Ken, fourteen more by the group of reinforcement investigators. All were given promotions for their bravery. All had been made into half-ghouls by Kanou, whose body was found lying in a pool of blood next to a gun in the control room of the facility. His time of suicide is unknown.

For their great help in taking down the One-Eyed Owl, Nagachika Hideyoshi and Kaneki Ken were both promoted to Rank One investigators and were assigned the task of teaching the newly-rescued half-ghoul investigators on how to effectively control their powers.

Upon Arima Kishou's request, the ghouls Kirishima Touka, Fueguchi Hinami, Banjou Kazuichi, Nishiki Nishio, Kanae von Rosewald, and Tsukiyama Shuu were all pardoned of any crimes they may have committed for their assistance in taking down Owl.

The Owl—aka Takatsuki Sen—whose name was now known to be Eto, was imprisoned in the most secured cell in all of Cochlea with constant watch on her at all times. She was barely clinging to life and was saved because of the valuable information she held. After being extensively questioned for days and saying nothing, she was tortured until she spoke. A commendable amount of information on the infamous ghoul organization known as Aogiri Tree was obtained.

All in all, despite the number of casualties, the mission was considered a success, as the CCG—with the help of others—was finally able to eradicate the ghoul that plagued the city of Tokyo for years on end.

"I think it should go here."

"And I think you're blind."

"Hey! It looks great there! No, don't move it! Kaaaneekiiii!"

"There. Doesn't it look better now?"

"…Yes."

Kaneki smiled and gave Hide a quick peck on the lips. They had just recently moved into a new, larger apartment that wasn't CCG-issued. This was thanks to the very sizable pay raise they'd both received upon becoming Rank One investigators—along with an even larger bonus for taking down Owl. Kaneki could safely bet they would never run out of money for coffee again.

Speaking of coffee, he really needed some. Unfortunately, Hide was a night shopper, meaning he dragged Kaneki to any open furniture store at ten o'clock at night—even when they had to go to work the next day. He had done it the previous night, too. Well, they had the day off today, but still.

Currently, they were deciding on where to put the couch in the living room. It didn't match the other décor of the room at all, and if anyone said anything, Kaneki would immediately claim it wasn't his doing. Hide's sense of interior design and style was rather…questionable. To say the least, the contrasting colors did make everything pop. But he wasn't sure it popped in a good way.

Oh, well. If it made Hide happy having mismatched chairs and sofas and a lava lamp next to the TV, he was fine with it.

"You up for going to the shop?" Hide asked him, stretching.

Kaneki smiled. "Yeah, that would be good."

:re was a rather large yet still quaint and cozy coffee shop on the corner of a small intersection near Kaneki and Hide's apartment, which they had purposefully chosen because of its convenient location. It took them less than twenty minutes to walk on good days, thirty to thirty-five on others (like when Hide forgot his coat, ran back into the apartment, decided he wanted to change shirts, forgot the coat, ran back out, remembered, and then ran back in).

The bell on the door rang as Hide and Kaneki walked in and were greeted with the delicious scent of coffee. "Welcome to—oh, it's you two."

Hide grinned. "Hey, Touka!" he said cheerily. "Two blacks, please."

Touka sighed and rolled her eyes, albeit smiling. "I know, I know."

They took a seat at a nearby table close to the windows. The shop hummed with the soft susurrus of light conversation. There was a good crowd today. Saturday mornings were always good for business.

Touka sauntered over to them, coffees in hand. Her small heels clacked on the hardwood floor as she walked. Carefully placing the cups down in front of them, she pulled up a chair to their table and sat down. "It seems like the place is really doing well," Kaneki commented. "I hope it was worth a quarter of my paycheck for three months."

"Every dime was well spent," she replied, smiling slyly. The bell rung, signaling the arrival of a new customer. Touka stood gracefully and turned to face them. "Wel—ugh."

"Ah, please do not be like that, Kirishima-san. I thought we were friends now, no?"

"You're still a scheming bastard," she muttered, sitting back down as Tsukiyama, accompanied by Kanae, strode over to their table. "If you're not buying, you're not staying. Especially him." She pointed an accusing finger at Kanae.

Kanae laughed. "As if my master and I would buy something from the likes of this peasant-like shack."

"You wanna go, servant boy?"

"Not anywhere with you, no."

"Keep it up and I'll kick your ass, I swear."

"Oi, shitty Touka, we're out of milk," Nishiki called from behind the counter.

Touka glared at Kanae. "I'll kick your ass as soon as I get more milk," she grumbled, standing and replacing the chair where it belonged. Hide snickered to himself when she was gone.

"May we sit?" Tsukiyama asked. Kaneki looked up skeptically before looking at Hide and shrugging, as if to say well, might as well. Kanae pulled up two chairs to the table and sat with his hands folded in his lap. Hide took a long sip from his coffee. It tasted spectacular, as always.

"How is Hinami-chan doing?" Tsukiyama questioned.

"She's still living with Touka," Kaneki answered after a drink from his cup. "I think she's thinking about school."

Tsukiyama nodded. "I see. I believe school would suit her."

"Touka has been giving her lessons recently to help her catch up. She's catching on pretty fast, from what I hear."

"Ah, I always knew she was bright."

Hide smiled into his cup. It really seemed as if everything were alright. For the first time since being turned into a ghoul, he felt completely at ease. He didn't realize how good of a feeling it was until he didn't experience it for months.

He would be lying if he said he hadn't changed, though.

The changes weren't big. You'd have to spend a good amount of time with him on a daily basis to actually notice, but they were there. He was much more cautious in everything he did—almost a little hesitant. He didn't know why that was the most prominent outcome of the torture, but it was, and he didn't like it. It wasn't him. It wasn't him at all.

Another thing was water. The sound of a dripping faucet or even the rain was sometimes enough to trigger a wave of anxiety that pooled in his stomach and stayed there for hours on end. He couldn't stand it. To him, it was like nails on a chalkboard.

He tried to act as though the nightmares didn't affect him as well. Unfortunately, they did. While they were only occasional, they were like hurricanes, blowing away all the comfort he had built up in one fell swoop and flooding his mind with thoughts of panic and pain and fear. Sometimes he dreamt of being strapped to a table while a small cloaked figure tortured him. Other times he was drowning or even suffocating on air simply while trying to breathe. When they happened, he woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air as if he were actually dying.

Because of these things, he couldn't deny that he was slightly more fragile than before. He wasn't glass, which shattered if it so much as even touched the ground it seemed, but he wasn't plastic either. He couldn't bend the way he used to without breaking a bit. He lingered somewhere in between the two, and it bothered him more than he was willing to admit.

Luckily, he had Kaneki.

Kaneki, who had been through the exact same things, immediately noticed when something was troubling him. He would then do everything in his power to make sure Hide felt better, to make him as comfortable and relaxed as possible, and Hide was eternally grateful for that. How he ended up with such an amazing best friend and boyfriend, he had no idea. It only took a few of Kaneki's kind words and gentle touches to bring him back to reality. If he didn't have Kaneki, Hide knew he would be much, much worse.

God, he was so thankful for him.

He was so fucking thankful.

"Hide! Are you even listening?"

Hide blinked and attuned back to his surroundings. "Sorry, just got lost in thought," he said, smiling. Touka, who had come back to the table after restocking the milk, raised her eyebrows at him but said nothing. Kaneki looked at him with a hint of concern on his face.

"I asked if you and Kaneki wanted to stop by my apartment sometime to help teach Hinami literature. I kind of suck at it."

His smile grew. "Of course! But it's really Kaneki you should be asking. After all, he did major in Japanese lit in college." He chuckled. "What were you planning to do with that degree anyways? There's not really much you can do with a lit degree."

Kaneki shrugged while taking a sip of his coffee. "I don't know, really. I just liked it."

Suddenly, Hide had an epiphany. In his excitement, he slammed his fists on the table, startling the other four who were crowded around it. Kaneki nearly spilled his coffee. "We should install shelving in the apartment—like, a whole lot of it! And then you can buy all your favorite books and fill it up. It could be a goal or something, you know? To fill it all. Wouldn't that be cool?"

"I have some books you might find of interest, mon ami," Tsukiyama said to Kaneki.

Kaneki smiled. "That actually sounds really nice. That might actually be the one good decorating idea you've had, Hide."

"Pssh. My decorating ideas are fantastic, thank you very much."

"If it helps you sleep at night."

"Actually, you help me sleep at night."

"H-Hide!"

"What? It's true! Not like they don't know that."

"Still…"

Touka snorted at their display. Suddenly, she noticed something she hadn't before. She reached her hand out and took a lock of Kaneki's hair near the crown of his head between her fingers. He looked at her questioningly. "Your hair…it's starting to grow black again," she said quietly.

Tsukiyama raised his eyebrows and leaned closer to get a better look. "It appears she's correct." Pulling out a mirror he kept inside his suit jacket, he handed it to Kaneki, who accepted it. Sure enough, when he held it up to his head, Kaneki spotted a few tufts of black hair where his hair grew.

Hide felt nothing short of elation at the fact that Kaneki's black hair was growing back. His white hair served as a remainder of all the pain and suffering that was engrained into his very being. Even if his black hair grew back, that pain would still be there, but at least he wouldn't have to be reminded of it every time he looked in the mirror. "That's great, Kaneki!" he exclaimed.

Kaneki smiled. "I suppose it is."

Saiko had a lot of ships. She had so many that it if someone asked her to name them all, it would literally be impossible. But, out of all the ships and the hours she'd spent crying and slaving over, there was one that was at the very top.

And that was Hidekane.

From the moment she saw her two superiors, she knew they were destined to be together. And thus, Hidekane was born.

And that was before she caught them kissing in Kaneki's room in the chateau they all shared.

"The ship has sailed," she whispered to herself before slowly and quietly closing the door to her Maman's room.

Two years had passed. Kaneki and Hide were now both First Class investigators and were in charge of mentoring the CCG's latest experimental group—the Quinx. While they were a handful, Hide loved all four of the kids to death. He even loved Urie, who made it blatant that he detested both he and Kaneki. But that was okay. He was just in his rebellious stage; he would learn to love and appreciate his parents later.

They were all good kids who had the misfortune to be roped into yet another one of the CCG's attempts to increase its firepower. Why, you may ask, did the CCG need even more weapons even after obtaining what could only be called an army of half-ghoul investigators? Hide had no clue. All he knew was that he and Kaneki were deemed the most appropriate candidates to train these basically half-ghoul recruits.

And so, that was how their family came to be. He and Kaneki were the parents, of course, and man did those kids know how to work their way around them. Or at least him. Hide was no doubt a pushover when it came to the Quinx, although Kaneki was certainly guilty of spoiling them rotten as well. Especially Saiko. They gave Saiko practically anything she wanted, and she got even more when she called Hide "Papa."

In their little home, Saiko was the shut-in child; no family was complete without one. Mutsuki was deemed the calm and caring one that would always help out with the dishes without even being asked. Shirazu was the delinquent who didn't actually get into much trouble. And that left Urie, who could only be called the problem child that they loved anyways.

There was also Akira and Arima. Kaneki and Hide both agreed Akira was their mom, no matter how many times she denied it. Arima was more of a dad to Kaneki than Hide, but that was okay. He was just happy Kaneki found someone who loved books as much as he did.

Life was surprisingly good. They had just recently installed shelving in Kaneki's room in the chateau for all his books—which was a lot. Hide was sure he had spent at least three paychecks on books. After all the shelving they had in their apartment before moving (they had gone through with Hide's suggestion two years ago), Kaneki couldn't bear to not bring all of his books.

They were doing very well in their jobs. The training of the half-ghoul investigators had been a little tough at first, and even when they finished their abilities were still a little rough around the edges, but they improved with time. Eventually, their coworkers became accustom to the idea that the people they used to know were now half-ghouls, and they accepted it.

Things had definitely changed.

Upon the suggestion of Hide, who was backed by Arima himself, the research department of the CCG began to try to produce a synthetic meat that ghouls would be able to eat and digest. It's not like they would have said no, though—feeding a total of thirty-eight half-ghouls with humanely-obtained meat was no easy task. So they began looking into artificial meat, and sure enough, they were making progress. It was expected that the way to make it would be found within the next few months, which was great news. If they could then mass produce the meat and supply it to all of the ghouls in Japan—no, the world—ghouls wouldn't even be an issue anymore.

Now, that would surely be something.

Hide couldn't believe they hadn't thought of the idea before. They were too busy trying to exterminate the ghouls that they didn't even realize the solution to the human race's dilemma was before their very eyes. Too stuck in their ways—that was what they all were. What people didn't realize was that there was always more than one way fix a problem. It was just like math; three plus six equaled nine, but so did four plus five or eight plus one. It was so simple yet so arduous and convoluted for those who chose to make it so.

Well, at least they were making progress.

Hide rubbed the tiredness away from his eyes. He'd been staring at these papers for hours by now, when suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped gently around his shoulders before a head came to rest upon them, and Kaneki began trailing kisses up from Hide's neck to his jaw before pressing one to his cheek. Hide tilted his head and captured Kaneki's lips. He couldn't help but smile into the kiss as Kaneki sighed contently against his mouth. Their lips brushed against each other's softly. Hide's heart fluttered even though they had done this so, so many times before.

With each passing day, he fell for Kaneki over and over again. While the newness of their relationship had worn off, he still felt the same he did when he first knew he was in love with his best friend. He still experienced the familiar rush of excitement or happiness when Kaneki himself was excited about something. It made him so incredibly joyful to see the light back in Kaneki's eyes, to see him express himself more freely. He was still reserved towards those he didn't know, but to Hide, he was an open book, and that was a fact Hide greatly reveled.

"How was lunch?" Hide asked when they broke apart.

Kaneki moved to pull up a chair next to Hide's own at his desk. "It was nice. Amon and I discussed the information we've gathered about the Nutcracker so far. He accidentally ordered spicy curry instead of mild and ended up drinking two and a half glasses of water."

Hide chuckled. "Nuts is really giving us a run for our money. She's pretty elusive, that's for sure. I'm not complaining, though—I like my nuts intact."

Kaneki gave a small laugh. "Akira-san asked us to come in and report on the squad tomorrow at noon. You have the papers, right?"

"Yep!" Hide shuffled through the pile of paperwork on his desk before grandly handing Kaneki the monthly report on the four Quinx. Kaneki scanned it quickly before folding it and tucking it in his pocket. "It's kind of funny," Hide said, making him turn his head. "We started out as the ones being reported on. Now, we're the ones doing the reporting."

"We've come a pretty long way. This isn't what I envisioned myself doing when I was young, but…" Kaneki trailed off and smiled wistfully. "It's grown on me. I don't mind it so much anymore. Even the paperwork's not as bad as when we first started."

Hide gave him an are you being serious right now look. "They must have brainwashed you or something, Kaneki, because the paperwork is definitely not better than it was when we started. There's so much of it sometimes I feel like I could cry. But I have to be strong for the kids—they can't see their big strong dad break down over a pile of dead trees."

Kaneki gave him his own really? look. "Saiko cries over fictional characters, Hide, and I've seen Shirazu shed a few tears when he dropped the last piece of cake in the fridge. I'm sure they wouldn't judge you in the slightest."

"Hmm, maybe. You do have a random banana poster in your room and they still respect you, so I suppose that could prove your point," Hide replied with a sly grin.

"It helps me think of puns," he mumbled, and Hide laughed.

"Whatever you say, buddy, whatever you say."

Hide enjoyed most of his day, but his favorite part (when he wasn't doing…things with Kaneki) was dinner.

With Kaneki's help, he had become quite proficient at cooking. Kaneki was unsurprisingly skilled at it; after all, he spent nearly eight years cooking for himself, as his aunt blatantly refused to feed him when she was in a sour mood. Hide knew at least this much about Kaneki's time living with his aunt, though to what extent her cruelty reached, he was uncertain. He would never ask Kaneki to elaborate on it.

That day's dinner was Yasai Itame, or stir-fry vegetables. It was great because they could literally throw any vegetables they had in the fridge into a pan, add some pork, stir it for a bit, drizzle some soy sauce on it and bam! Delicious meal. Well, to everyone but Hide and Kaneki, that is.

"Thank you for the meal," Mutsuki, as he always did, said quietly before eating. He was the only one who bothered anymore—the others were too used to digging into whatever their two mentors had whipped up to remember.

Hide watched with a fond look on his face as his squad members ate. Man, he could really have gone for a burger then. He idly wondered if Big Girl were still open. It had to be; it was a pretty popular place. Maybe he would take them there sometime and see what they thought of it.

"Hide and I going to a meeting with Akira at noon tomorrow, so don't goof off in the office while we're gone," Kaneki stated. "Urie, make sure they're all on task."

Urie, who, for once, had removed his headphones, grunted in response. "Yeah, fine."

Kaneki nodded and smiled at him. "Thank you. Saiko, you have to come in tomorrow. If you're not there when one of our superiors drops by agai—"

"Mamaaaannn," Saiko groaned. "Please can I stay home, pleeaasssee? I'm so close to beating this game I'm playing and I really want to win already!"

"I gotcha, Kane-san," Shirazu said, grinning. "I'll get her up."

Kaneki sighed, his smile becoming a tad weary. "I'll leave it to you, then."

The conversations were diverted from work after that. Hide began chatting with Shirazu about random things. They roped Mutsuki into a conversation about musical instruments and if they had ever played any, to which he commented that he played the clarinet when he was younger. For some reason, that seemed to fit him.

"You know what I always wanted to play? The cello. That thing is fucking amazing," Shirazu said as he stuffed his mouth with pork. "I've only ever played electric guitar."

Hide tried to imagine Shirazu dressed in a tuxedo playing the cello in an orchestral concert and snickered, his grin so wide it threatened to split his face. The idea of it was so preposterous it was downright hilarious.

"What?" Shirazu questioned.

He waved his hand dismissively. "Nothing, nothing," he replied, trying to stifle his laughter. Mutsuki chuckled quietly.

It was the smaller things in life that made Hide happy. He enjoyed doing random acts of kindness for people and hoping they did the same. He liked watching a good movie or reading an interesting book. He appreciated a nice cup of coffee. He savored the moments he got with those close to him, no matter how they were spent. Dinner with his squad was one of these things little things that made him thankful for life and all that was in it.

Man, life was a wonderful thing.

"All done?" Kaneki inquired, seeing that all the plates were clean. Everyone nodded. Kaneki, Hide, and Mutsuki began to clear the table and take the dishes to the sink, where they washed and dried them. Once they were finished, Mutsuki wished them goodnight and retired to his room, claiming he was going to finish up some paperwork he hadn't that day.

Kaneki and Hide made their way to Hide's room, where they sat in comfortable silence on his bed as Kaneki read a book and Hide played a game on his phone to pass the time. "Hey, Hide," Kaneki suddenly spoke. Hide looked up. Seeing that Kaneki had set his book down, he locked his phone and put it on the bedside table. "Are you happy?"

"Am I happy?" Hide echoed, somewhat taken aback.

"I don't know, it was a stupid question. Sor—"

"Kaneki."

Kaneki looked at him nervously, a look Hide wasn't accustomed to anymore. It was almost shockingly like his old self. He took a deep breath and began.

"I've never been happier in my life. I love every single second I spend with you and the kids and everyone at Re and anyone else I know. When I wake up, I can't wait to start the day. I can't wait to make breakfast for the squad and go to work and tease Akira-san, even if she is our superior. I can't wait to see you smile because it's one of my favorite things in the entire world. I love going to Re and talking to Touka and Hinami and even Nishio because that makes me happy, too."

He continued, "You know, someone once told me that you can't make homes out of people, but I beg to differ. They say at home is where you're happiest. If that's true, then you should know that you're my home, Kaneki. You embody all of my memories. You're the place I want to return to. I get this feeling like homesickness when I'm not with you." Hide chuckled quietly. "If that doesn't make you my home, I don't know what would. So yes, Kaneki, I am very, very, happy, and don't ever trick yourself into thinking I'm not."

Kaneki's mouth hung slightly open, moving up and down to try to form the words that were stuck to his tongue. "Hide…" he finally managed. Hide smiled softly at him and pulled him into an embrace. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as Kaneki hugged back, burying his face in the crook of Hide's neck. "Thank you," he whispered. "You've given me so much, Hide, and I just…I'm so thankful for you."

Hide nudged Kaneki's head. Kaneki looked up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Hide gently brushed them away with the back of his hand before bringing their lips together in a slow, long, deep kiss. Out of everything in his life that made him happy, it was moments like these that made him the happiest. It was moments like these that made him feel as if he were about to burst with joy and love and every other positive emotion he'd ever felt.

It was moments like these he wished could last forever.

They broke apart and stared thoughtfully into each other's eyes before Hide scooted over and made room for Kaneki next to him at the top of the bed. Another silence filled the room for a moment before Kaneki spoke.

"Have you ever heard of the word 'hiraeth'?" he asked, staring up at the ceiling. Hide shook his head no next to him. "I read it once in a book. It means a homesickness for a home you can't return to."

"That's a pretty sucky word."

Kaneki chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so. When all of this started, that was what I felt. I knew my life would never go back to normal. It was almost painful how badly I wanted to eat a hamburger with you. All the things in life I had taken for granted, all the normalcy—I immediately regretted not treasuring it. And then everything else happened and I didn't even have myself anymore. All I knew was pain, and I didn't do anything unless it helped me achieve my goal. I forgot about that feeling of longing to return back to normal.

"And then you came back into my life, and that feeling came back in full force. I felt like I began to realize what it was I had become. It was…extremely difficult to accept that you might end up like me. Alone. Distorted. I thought I didn't want that for you, but really, I didn't want it for myself. The selfish part of me refused to let go of your old human-self, because that was the one thing that kept me grounded to the human world. I didn't want that tie to be severed. I didn't want to be isolated in the cruel world of ghouls for the rest of my life.

"…But you didn't change, Hide. You didn't end up like me, and I'm so very thankful for that. And it's not selfishness talking, either. I ended that after you and Touka talked some sense into me. Even if you went through some of the same things as me, I'm glad that you came out alright in the end. I don't want anything like that to ever happen to you again. You shouldn't have to endure that."

"Neither of us should have," Hide sighed.

"Yeah," Kaneki agreed. "We were just stupid college students who ate way too many burgers and played way too many video games."

A grin spread across Hide's face. "Got that right."

Kaneki smiled, exhaling softly before speaking once more. "I don't feel it anymore, Hide. Hiraeth, I mean."

Hide's grin softened into a small smile as he gently ran his fingers through Kaneki's almost fully-black hair. "Me neither, Kaneki. Me neither."

fin

I hope everyone has enjoyed this fic! here's how you can get in touch with me for whatever reason:

ao3: Aeliia

tumblr: memesbeforedark/sunshineboyhide

once again, I'm so happy about the positive responses this fic got. a big thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially my regulars! you guys kept me excited and motivated to get the next chapter out. thank you to everyone who followed or favorited, and thank you to anyone who just read it. in short...

thanks for reading :)