My hands had gone numb from the cold four blocks ago and I was very close to abandoning the whole thing when the pub finally came into view. It was called The Wand and the Lighthouse and I envied the muggles who couldn't see the dingy bar or the ungodly tacky oversized lighthouse model that was perched on top of the building. There were lights and sounds coming from inside (not to mention the promise of pints and heat) and yet I couldn't help but feel compelled to apparate back to my flat where it would be safe from socializing and questions and certain Gryffindor's.

"Ticket," the man outside the bar growled at me. I hadn't realized I'd crossed the road.

"Oh, yeah."

I handed over my ticket and he waved his wand over it. Then he gave it back and stamped the back of my hand. It was only then did I recognize him.

"Merlin, Zabini?" I said. "Mark, hey. It's Scorpius."

Mark blinked at me for a second until recognition dawned on his face and he gave me an overly enthusiastic hug. It hadn't even been a year since we graduated and he acted like we'd been separated for years.

"Scor! What the hell man! You dropped off the face of the earth after the summer. Where'd you go then?"

"Nowhere," I said. "I'm interning at the IMC department at the moment. I also have a small part-time job at Quality Quidditch Supplies just to pay the bills. You know how it is."

Mark looked somewhat disappointed. "We were taking bets. With all your languages I thought for sure you'd be over in god knows where doing the dangerous shite we all wished we could've done." He caught himself, realizing how that sounded. "Still, international magical co-op, that's pretty ace."

"What about you? Do you work here?"

Mark shook his head. "No, I'm over at St. Mungo's. Nothing fancy, potions stuff mainly. I'm just here helping out Lily for the show."

I didn't know if that meant they were friends or if they were going out. I didn't ask.

"Have they started yet?"

"Nope, should be on in a few. See ya later, Malfoy," he said abruptly as a group of people had just come up behind me with their own tickets.

I slipped into the bar feeling oddly comforted by the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke. My black jeans and leather jacket which stood out everywhere else blended in nicely here. A tray full of shots floated past me and I grabbed two, downing the first in one go. The second one was halfway to my mouth when someone stopped in front of me.

"Holy fuck it's Scorpius Malfoy."

I tipped the shot back, coughed a bit and said, "Holy fuck it's Rose Weasley."

Rose looked very different from the last time I'd seen here which would have been the day we graduated. Her hair was longer and more auburn than red now. The school robes that used to hide her body had been replaced by a skintight black dress with heels and fancy make-up. She looked more confident and it suited her.

She asked me the same questions Mark had asked and I gave her the same answers. She told me about her year abroad in Australia where she was working at a small wizarding community centre. She was only back for the holidays and was leaving the day after Christmas. As she was telling me this she kept looking over her shoulder at the stage where instruments and mics were set up. I checked my watch.

"Eight fifty-seven," I said.

She finished the last of her beer and said, "I'm going to move up to the front. Do you want to come?"

I felt a little jolt of fear at the thought of that. I didn't think I was worthy enough to get a spot that close.

No. I didn't think I couldn't handle being that close to him.

"You go," I said. "I think I'll prowl the back row like a proper snake in the lion's den."

Rose nodded and waved goodbye. She weaved her way through the closely packed bodies until disappearing from sight. I went the other way and got a beer from the over flirty bartender before finding a spot at the very back wall of the bar. I had only taken my first sip when, to a loud bout of cheering, the band came on stage.

James came on first wearing no shirt with his drumsticks sticking out the back pocket of his ratty jeans. He sat at the drum kit and looked jittery and excited. Lily smacked him on the head when she came on, slinging her bass over her shoulder and cracking her knuckles in a way that clashed with her immaculate outfit and manicure. Teddy came on next, a cigarette hanging from his lips and another one tucked behind his ear. He grinned crookedly at the tall blonde in the front row and changed his hair from magenta to sea green. He picked up his guitar that said VICTOIRE in large black letters. It matched with the tattoo of her on his arm.

It was another minute before the clumsy leader stumbled his way on stage.

"Ow, shit," he mumbled, not meaning for the mic to pick it up. The crowd laughed. He looked up, grinned and said more audibly, "Sorry I'm late, couldn't find my lucky pick."

Even flustered and pink in the face, Albus Potter was a bloody vision.

He looked exactly how I remembered him. Tall and awkward, like he'd never quite mastered his height. His white t-shirt clung to his muscled frame which could be attributed to his training with Puddlemere United as I'd read in the paper. I watched his quidditch hardened hands pick up his guitar and his mouth move as he said something to Teddy who laughed.

I had sudden moment of anxiety and I realized that this was the absolute last place I wanted to be right now. I should have apparated out of there but I just couldn't stop staring at him.

"Thanks for coming everyone," Albus said into the mic once the band had settled. "Alright so since Teddy joined I'm not quite sure what to call us anymore. We were the Potterheads but now, well." A few people laughed. "Now I guess we can be the Potheads. Just don't tell my dad that."

Albus winked at someone just off stage right and I was surprised to see Harry Potter himself shaking his head and laughing into his pint. Ginny was standing beside him looking slightly less pleased.

Albus cleared his throat and said, "Yes, well. Anyways. Popular songs as always, feel free to sing along. All the proceeds from the tickets are going to charity so enjoy!"

He stepped back from the mic, counted to four and a song I knew quite well started. It could have been unrelated, Lionheart was a well known song now. As I watched Albus's fingers fly over the strings and the little smile he had on his face all I could remember was the night on the astronomy tower where I'd given him the CD and told him that this one was my favorite. And now Albus was singing my song and I had no idea what to make of it.

They kept playing, from classic 80's songs to newer ones. Albus seemed... happy. Like everything was easy for him, effortless. The last time we'd spoken the difference was almost comical.

They finished a song, the crowd clapped. I sipped the last of my beer and wondered if it would be easy to sneak out now.

"Alright, alright!" Albus called into the mic, wiping his forehead on the back of his hand. "It's almost ten so we're about to be kicked off but we have one more song tonight." He smiled at the other band members who grinned back at him supportively. "This is a song that I wrote. It's called-" He trailed off.

His eyes found my mind everything between us came rushing back like a freight train. The look that passed between us felt like a lifetime.

"Umm, yeah," said Albus more quietly this time, looking lost. "This song's called uh, 'Dream World'."

They played the song. Albus faked it enough to get through it but I could see the chaos building in his eyes. I'd seen that look before.

~O-O~

"I finally got it," I said, jumping up the last few stairs to the astronomy tower balcony. "Mum sent it with her last letter. Get this, she's not fucking coming to graduation. Can you believe that?"

Albus didn't answer. He stared out at the sky, his back to me. I brushed it off.

"It came with a signed pick by Noel Gallagher himself, this is mental." I looked up from the CD. "Hello, earth to Albus. Are you listening?"

Albus turned around, his face ashy grey. I thought he was sick.

"What are we doing, Scorpius?" he said, gesturing between us. "What is this."

"What the bloody hell are you on about?" I put my hand on his arm. He brushed it off.

"We've been so stupid," he shouted. I was so shocked I took a step back. "Talking about a life together after school? Who the fuck are we kidding?! You're a Malfoy and I'm a Potter and we're just dumb kids. That's all."

"Where did this come from?" I asked, trying to sound brave but the wavering in my voice betrayed me.

"We're seventeen, we don't know anything. We don't know what we want, Scor."

"If you say something like 'this has been nice but it's over' I'll kill you, Potter, I fucking will."

Albus deflated slightly. His eyes looked sad but dead set.

"What did you expect? That we'd move in together and listen to Oasis over breakfast and get married and have tiny blonde haired, green-eyed children?"

"I thought they'd have my eyes and your hair actually," I said coolly.

Albus only faltered for a moment.

"It would never work. We're like-"

"Good and evil?" I supplied.

"I didn't say that, and I never will."

"But it's true isn't it." Now I was the one yelling. "Someday you'll be happy enough to bring home a guy to meet your family and everyone will love and accept you but that guy can't be me can it? No. Because I'm the enemy."

Albus looked down at his ground, his hair covering his face like it always did when he didn't like to see people looking at him. I just never thought that person would be me.

"We need to come back to the real world, Scorpius," he whispered. "This year has been- important to me but you must have known it couldn't be forever. We've been living in a dream world, Scor."

"Yeah, well, I like the dream world!" I threw the CD. It hit him in the chest and clattered to the ground, the plastic cracking. "I like the dream world because it's a damn better place to live than here. I'm happier there and I know you are too."

I crossed the distance between us and kissed him. It was rough and wild with desperation crowding it like a shadow. I pushed him against the rail, my hands digging into his waist- deep enough to leave marks. He didn't respond at first but then my tongue was in his mouth and there's no way to fight that. His hands moved on top of mind and I wasn't sure if that was him failing to push my hands off or if he was seeing how perfectly out hands fit together one last time.

I broke the kiss and trailed my lips down his neck. I sucked a bruise into the delicate, pale skin and then backed up until we were on opposite sides of the balcony.

"You're a Gryffindor?" I said. "Where's your courage?"

My last image was him standing there alone of the balcony with one hand over the mark on his neck that I'd given him with a look of hurt and pain on his face that I'd also caused.

That was the last time we'd spoken.

~O-O~

Albus sang the words to a song that no one probably knew was about me. He seemed less energetic than he had been during the other songs but there was something alive in his eyes that scared me.

When the song ended the band bowed and Albus thanked the crowd for coming. He said something else about 'putting your drinks on James's tab' but I wasn't listening. Albus gave one last tiny wave to the crowd. He put his guitar back on the stand and, ignoring everybody trying to talk to him, he pushed his way through the crowd until he was standing in front of me.

"Hey," he said rather breathlessly.

"Hi," I said.

We stared at each other, longer than two strangers would, longer than two enemies definitely should.

"Do you want to go out for a smoke?" Albus finally said, his fingers twitching towards my hand but no further.

"I don't smoke."

"Neither do I."

He led the way through the crowd toward the green room door. This time he really did take my hand. In the room (which wasn't actually green at all) Albus said nothing as he pulled on his coat and left through the back door that opened to the parking lot. Instead of staying there like I'd thought Albus turned left and started up the ladder that went to the roof. As much as I liked the view of his arse I wasn't really sure what to do.

"We could just stay down here like normal people," I called up to him.

Albus disappeared at the top of the ladder but his head popped back into view.

"We've played here a few times. I want to show you something."

He disappeared again, leaving me no choice. I climbed up after him, the freezing metal rungs of the ladder ironically making my fingers burn. Albus helped me up at the top even though he didn't need to. He dropped my hand and walked over to the giant lighthouse where, to my bewilderment, he went around one side and reappeared inside, his head poking out the window. He was smirking and I wondered if this was just a stupid joke.

I followed him into the giant, dumb lighthouse anyways, surprised to find that it was actually quite large. There was a crate in front of the small window that overlooked the street. Albus was already sitting on it, looking at me with an unreadable expression. I tentatively sat beside him, our shoulders and knees touching because of the small seat. I waited for him to start but he seemed to be waiting for the same thing.

I cleared my throat. "You guys were really great. I knew you used to kick around in the room of requirement during school but you're actually quite good."

"Thanks," Albus said softly. He was looking at me but I couldn't meet his eyes.

"Why did you come tonight?" he asked after awhile. "It's been... months. Why now?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Your cousin Molly was at the Ministry last week and she had an extra ticket. I didn't think I would even come."

Albus nodded his head a few times like he didn't quite know what to do with himself.

"I'm glad you did come. I've... thought about you a lot since school. I didn't think I'd ever see you again and if I did I didn't think you'd even talk to me."

I don't know what I am talking to you.

"And why would you think that, Potter?" I prodded, trying to get a rise out of him.

"Because I was a right prat the last time we spoke and I've regretted it every day since." He ran his hand through his hair and chewed harshly on his lip- something he only did when he was upset.

"It was horrible what I did to you. I- I fucking threw you away like you didn't matter to me. That was the worst part. Knowing that you thought I didn't love you because I did."

My pulse jumped at that. We'd never said it to each before and even though I'd wished for so long to hear it this was not the way I wanted it.

"I was stupid. I was so stupid," Albus murmured. He was now holding his head in his hands and I was completely thrown off by how fragile he looked. With me he'd always been so strong. "I blamed our last names but we both knew I was just afraid of myself and who I am. I would have loved to live in that dream world with you."

He'd done it on purpose and I couldn't help but smirk. "I believe that was the last line in your song, you tosser."

"Your song," Albus corrected. He peeked at me sideways, a small hopeful smile pulling at his lips. "I wrote it for you."

We both grinned stupidly at each other for a moment before reality settled back in.

"So did you ever find your courage?" I asked quietly. To anyone else it would have been a vague question but he knew.

"Yeah, I found it. They said they loved me no matter what, just like you said they would. You were right about everything."

"So you found someone then," I said stiffly. I looked anywhere but him.

Albus seemed to find something amusing in this.

"Huh, I guess you weren't right about everything. There was no one. There is no one." He moved his hand so that it was just touching mine. "There's only ever been you."

I looked at him. He seemed to be a lot closer than I remembered. A small voice made a feeble warning at the back of my mind but I paid it no attention. Albus's hand moved slightly again so it now covered half of mine. He broke our staring contest and reached into his pocket, pulling out the pick he'd used on stage. There was a scribble on one side and it took me a second to realize it was Noel fucking Gallagher's signature.

"Wow," I said, slightly dazed. "You kept it."

"Of course I did."

"And the CD?"

"Broken case, and all."

I exhaled and looked away. This whole situation was so messed up. We shouldn't be up here having this strained conversation, digging up the past I'd apparently not buried deep enough. We should be downstairs in the warm bar enjoying the post-show glow, with Albus's arm around my waist while I talked to Ginny about anything. That's how it should have been. But instead we were here, in this stupid lighthouse, sitting on this stupid crate and talking like strangers.

Because that's what we were now. I once knew everything about Albus. Now I was just a painful memory.

"What do you want, Albus?" I said finally. "Did you bring me up here just to reminisce about the good old days?"

"I think you should answer that, Malfoy. I've already done half the work."

"How have you possibly done half the work?"

Albus's cheeks were pink. "Who do you think gave Molly the extra ticket?"

I gaped at him. "You didn't." He just snickered. "Bloody hell. Guess I should have realized that, huh."

Albus's hand was now completely over mine. "Well, yeah. I'm terrible at scheming. I never in a million years thought you'd actually come though," he added

"We Malfoy's like to surprise."

"I'll say."

I peeked over at him and was once again surprised by how close we were. Up close I could see every inch of him I once had memorized. From the tiny splash of freckles over his nose to the faint scar above his eyebrow from where James had hit him with a horribly aimed quaffle. He was exactly how I remembered him. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.

Exactly how I remembered it.

I pulled back. "So what happens now."

Albus stood up and pulled me with him, now holding both my hands.

"We always go to Teddy's flat after shows for a bit of a wind down. If you like, you're welcome to come." He paused. "No, I take that back. I really want you to come. With me. I want you to come with me."

I waited for the little voice to remind me how this could be a bad idea but it never did. I took that as a good sign.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll go."

Apparently Albus took that to mean yes but snog my face first because he immediately leaned up and crushed his lips to mine. It took me off guard but only for a moment. My arms wound their way around his shoulders while his hand pulled me closer by my jacket.

We'd kissed for less than a minute when someone from the street below yelled, "Oi! Are you two gonna stop anytime soon or should we go on without you?"

I stumbled away from Albus and burst out laughing. Albus looked flustered and only mildly embarrassed as he called down to Rose to tell her we'd be down in a minute.

We walked back to the ladder in silence. I went down first. Albus took my hand when he'd reached the ground.

"So, the dream world," I started as we made our way around to the front of the building. Albus grinned sideways at me.

The others came into view, all eyes on us. Albus's hand felt warm and strong in mine and even though it was cold and Teddy was sending me these suggestive winks I realized that right here, in front of this run down bar with a giant, dumb lighthouse on top, was the only place I wanted to be.

"It has nothing on this," Albus said.

And he was right.