Here I am again guys ! Ok so here's the penultimate chapter. There'll also be an epilogue, and then we'll finally be done with this story. I hope you are still enjoying it. I want to thank you for your kind reviews, idwalkthroughhell4u (hope this chapter answers your question about the letters ;-) ), Dnmann (glad to be back :) ), Redess89 (thank you a lot ! I hope you're safe too, virtual hugs) and Anjela78 (I's so happy to read from you again ! It's been a while, right?) you are all amazing !
It didn't take long for Arthur to knock on the door.
"We should have already called a doctor anyway" Ashley joked when she saw Spencer pouting.
"Baby girl, you're awake! Let me get a doctor" He was out again before either girl could react.
Ashley laughed, gently stroking Spencer's hair. "See, told you. Dany is gonna be so happy when he sees you!" She breathed, smiling tenderly.
"How is he? Oh God… My baby…" Spencer closed her eyes, tears silently falling. Ashley was quick to wipe them, squeezing her hand in a reassuring way.
"He's ok. He stayed at my place, Madison kept him entertained don't worry."
At that, Spencer let a tearful laugh out, raising a brow. They both chuckled until the door opened again.
"Spencer?" Ashley didn't have to turn around to know who it was; the cold sweat that ran through her body at hearing this voice was enough. She braced herself for yells and shouts, but they never came. Paula took the chair on the other side of the bed, and grabbed her daughter's hand, completely ignoring the brunette's presence.
"We were so worried… The doctor who performed your surgery is an excellent one though, and he said everything went well. He'll be there in a minute to run a few tests. Once they release you, you can come home with us, we'll make sure Dany and you are ok sweetie. "
There was a heavy silence, and Ashley felt her hand being suddenly released. She sighed and closed her eyes before Spencer started talking.
"No mom, I won't go home with you" Paula tried to interrupt, but Spencer was having none of that. "I'll be staying at Ashley's and so will Dany" She didn't even look at the brunette to confirm it and Ashley couldn't help but smile, nodding for a good measure. "It's not up for discussion. Actually, what I do with my life, or who I decide to spend it with is not up to you."
"Spencer, you were shot, your husband just died, you're not thinking clearly"
"Oh yes I am, mother. For the first time in years I'm thinking by myself and not letting what you want dictate what I do. God mom… don't you see how miserable I have been for years, for over 7 years, actually? Can't you see how unhappy I have been since I walked away from Ashley? The only person I have ever truly and really been in love with? I am gay mom, and I spent the last 7 years of my life in an unhappy marriage just to please you. I've been living a lie just to make you happy, and before you say anything, yes, I am the happiest mother alive, Dany means everything to me, but don't I deserve to be in love too? Don't I deserve to act on my feelings?"
Paula was speechless. She didn't get the time to think about an answer because Spencer was on a roll "I love Ashley mom, I never stopped, and I finally have a chance at being with her, and I won't let anything, or anyone get in the way. So that's it mom, whether you can finally accept it, or you won't be a part of our life, it's really up to you" Spencer stated with a sense of finality. She stared at her mother, plunging her eyes in the ones that looked so much like hers, though they always seemed so much colder.
"I'm your mother Spencer, your can't just take me out of your life, or out of Dany's life for that matter "Paula watched her daughter almost pleadingly, but Spencer didn't even bother to answer, just waiting for her mom to finally decide.
Ashley almost wished Spencer had answered with a "Watch me", but that was the only thing she would have changed in this conversation. Her girl had been perfect. My girl… seems like forever since the last time I called her that she thought… Was she her girl now? As if Spencer could read her mind, she took Ashley's hand back into hers and gently stroked it, waiting for her mother's answer.
"I...I can't accept that Spencer… I'm sorry, but I just can't, and if you wouldn't have met with Ashley again, you would see things my way." Paula tried weakly.
"No mom, I would still see things the same way. Ashley is the love of my life. See even so many years later, I still love her, and I never stopped, even when I was married to a man for so long… And if you weren't to blinded by your hatred for Ashley, you would see it too..." and with a heavy sigh and clenched jaw, trying to fight back tears with no success, she added almost imperceptibly "I think…I think you should leave."
Ashley's heart tightened at seeing the silent tears running down Spencer's face as Paula quietly left the room, not once glancing over at her.
"I'm so sorry Spence… you shouldn't have to choose."
"Hey, don't apologize for something that isn't your fault. I should have done that 7 years ago… If anything, I'm the one who is sorry for taking so long…"
"Better late than never" Ashley smiled before kissing Spencer. She couldn't believe that she had spent 7 years without kissing those lips. "So… uh… what about us? She asked when she was able to pull back, her voice usually shy.
"What do you mean" Spencer asked, slightly frowning.
"I know we're not kids anymore, and I didn't really date anyone aside from you so… I don't know how we're supposed to do this."
Spencer gave her a big smile before bringing their lips together once again in a short, but passionate kiss.
"You're still too cute for your own good" The blonde teased, caressing Ashley's cheek.
"Hey now, I wasn't going for cute, I don't do cute, I do sexy. Obviously, I don't have to try...it comes naturally..." Spencer lets out a small chuckle at Ashley's joke"Obviously." Ashley continues "Seriously though, I'll be more than happy to teach you the basics again" She wiggles her eyebrows seductively. "I can't wait…!" Spencer murmured. It wasn't long before they were kissing again, Ashley taking back the spot next to her girl.
Spencer had to go through more tests than Ashley would have ever thought existed, though she was more than happy to know her now girlfriend -insert happy dance here- the blonde had to rest and Ashley was once again trapped in her room.
"Stop pouting Davies, I just talked to your doctor, you'll be free to go in the morning, and they just want to keep you overnight to be sure your big head is ok" Madison laughed, sitting by the bed. Ashley only glared at her friend. "Someone's sulky eh? I'll tell you what, when your girl is awake, I'll sneak you and Dany in Spencer's room, what do you say?" She grinned and Ashley could only smile back.
"I say that you've been an amazing friend and I don't thank you enough for that"
"Ew, easy there Davies, I so don't play for your league, so keep your sex eyes for another pair of boobs"
"God Mads! Whatever. And how do you know Spencer's my girl anyway?" Ashley crossed her arms and raised a brow in confusion.
"Cause she should have been for a while, and even you aren't that stupid?" When Madison received yet another glare, she laughed. "I went to see her before she took her nap. She seemed happy, really happy. Actually I'd say she seemed high school happy. I just put two and two together and you confirmed it. I'm happy for you, Ash" she added more softly.
They talked some before Ashley got bored and decided that a nap was actually a good idea, wishing for time to move faster.
She woke up to a small body snuggled against hers which immediately brought a smile to her lips. She ran her hand through the blonde locks, softly kissing the head underneath.
"Hey sleepyhead" she whispered. "Time to wake up"
"Ashwey" Dany breathed, but didn't move. She could only grin at the sight.
"Yeah baby. How about we go see if Mommy is awake?"
That did the trick. He was up in a second, but not before giving Ashley a kiss on the cheek, blushing as always.
She sat on the wheelchair- which she thought was ridiculous as her legs were more than fine- and took Dany on her lap. He laughed during the whole ride, Ashley making bike noises. They got to the wing where Spencer was and even the nurses had to laugh at them. Ashley grinned and shrugged before asking if Mrs. Dennison was awake. The nurse only said that she didn't know about a Mrs. Dennison but that Miss Carlin was and couldn't wait to see them. With a soft smile she left the duo to go meet with the woman they loved more than anything.
"Oh god... now that's a sight to see... look at you two... how did I get so lucky?" Spencer smiled when they entered the room.
"We're the lucky ones, right Dan'?"
But Dany was already flying to his mom. At the last second though, he braked and carefully got on the bed.
"Mommy... I missed you..." he said in a small voice, his head buried on his mother's neck, his little arms tightly clutching at her.
"I missed you too baby, so much... mommy will never leave you again, I promise!"
Ashley watched with a tender look on her face. Her two favorite people were finally back together, as it should always be, and so was she. After a few more minutes, Spencer beckoned her to come closer.
"See mommy, I towd you Ashwey wikes you too." Dany said when he saw his mom take Ashley's hand. "Sowwy Ash, I had to telw mom cause it was an emewgency" he nodded his little head and the girls could only laugh.
"That's ok buddy. I kinda told your mom that I really liked her so... the secret's our now" she smiled, ruffling his hair. He didn't even budge and just smiled.
"Mommy, did you tewl Ashwey you wike her?"
"I did baby" Spencer smiled, caressing his cheek. He pushed his face onto her hand and sighed contently.
"And did you kiss her?" He inquired her again was answered with laughs.
Spencer straightened a bit and moved around her son to give Ashley's cheek a soft kiss.
"There, better sweetie?" She asked.
Dany looked at her strangely, his brows slightly rose. "Mommy, you are an aduwt, you can kiss her on the mouth" he stated in a 'duh' way. Ashley tried to suppress her laugh but failed and Spencer only raised her brow.
"Is that so?" Dany nodded and looked at her patiently. And with a sigh and a chuckle, she leaned towards Ashley who met her halfway and they shared a soft and quick kiss. Their eyes locked for a second, full of promises and silent "later".
"So Ashwey, you don't wike my mommy" Dany affirmed when the girls were back in their original spot.
"Uh, yes pumpkin I do, I really do" she said confused.
"No. You wove her." And if those words were already enough to send her in emotional overdrive, his little arms thrown around her in a tight hug were almost too much.
She choked on her words before clearing her throat, she carefully avoided Spencer's eyes in fear she'd break down, and with Dany still in her arms, she whispered, like a secret "yes baby, I really do love your mommy"
With an excited grin he pulled back and grabbed both their hands. "Are we a famiwy now?"
It was Spencer who answered, after a quick glance at Ashley who was smiling a teary smile. "I sure hope we will be one, baby".
Dany was the happiest he'd ever been. He snuggled up close against his mother, and fell asleep snuggled against his mother; exactly in the same way Ashley had found him against her a couple of hours ago.
The girls stayed silent for a while, just watching him sleeping peacefully, finally able to relax.
After a while though, Spencer kept glancing over at Ashley, opening and closing her mouth without being able to come up with a single word. The brunette softly smiled, slightly amused but stayed silent, patiently waiting for her to speak her mind. And eventually, with a heavy sigh, she did.
"Ash... I think maybe we should talk" Ashley only nodded her head, gently stroking the soft skin on Spencer's wrist. "I know I hurt you, I hurt us. Hearing what you've been through for all this time... I should have come back for you. No actually I should have never left. Every day I thought about you, about coming back to you... and I just need you to know that everything you went through, I had to go through the same. Except that I had the guilt of it all on top of that. You wanted to know how I could do this. And honestly I don't know if I'll ever have an answer for you. Because, even I don't know how I could. As much as you must have hated me, I hated myself more for putting you through it. I already told you I wish I could turn back time, but you're right, we can't. You told me I broke your heart, and you said I was the only one who could make it whole. So let me fix it. I don't expect you to trust me. I know it takes time, but let me try to show you that you can. If I can't erase the past 7 years, let me try to make the next 7, and all the following ones, the most beautiful of your life. I know it's a lot to ask, but I want a chance to love you like I should have, and… like Dany, I want a chance for us to be a family... I don't wanna rush things, but... I feel like we already lost so much time because of my mistakes, and I'm sure of what I want. And what I want is you... So uh yeah, now I think I need some water" she finished awkwardly.
"So you heard it all? The letters I mean" Ashley asked, handing Spencer a cup of water.
"I felt you in the room the moment you took my hand... I wanted to tell you but then you started talking and I admit I wanted to hear it. I was afraid you would stop... I'm sorry..."
"No, no don't apologize. I think you're right, and I needed to say the words as much as you needed to hear them"
"Sooo..." Spencer breathed, almost afraid to break the silence that had settled.
"So I tried to live without you, but it didn't go so well... I tried to hate you, but I couldn't. I tried to push you away, but you're like a fricking boomerang" Ashley chuckled, earning a shy smile from Spencer. "That's one of the many things I love about you Spence. So... yeah, I mean, I kissed you, right? I thought you knew it meant that I wanted to give us a shot"
"And I want to give you my everything, but I just needed to be sure that it was what you wanted"
"I want you Spence, and I'm ready to try, and put the past behind, and look forward, with you by my side"
No more words were needed; Spencer beckoned her closer, not having much room with Dany still snuggled against her. Ashley got the message and moved around the bed on the blonde's free side. And with her thumb caressing her cheek and wiping the few tears that had managed to escape those beautiful blue eyes, she kissed her. It felt different. They didn't deepen it because of Dany's presence, and yet, it felt powerful, it was soft and passionate, slow and rushed; it was an end and a new beginning. It was everything Ashley had wanted for years. And Spencer was finally giving it to her. With her fingers lightly stroking the back of her neck, Spencer was starting to put back some pieces of her shattered heart, and it felt amazing. She couldn't wait to see how it would be to have it whole again. And now, they had all the time in the word to make it happen.