It has been 1 year since Edward left me on that forest floor. 365 dreadful days. After he was gone my whole world shattered around me. It was like I was drowning, going deeper and deeper but I could see everyone else breathing. It was absolute hell. Once he left I refused to eat, move, work, and sleep. Everything I did and went reminded me of him. I couldn't listen to music, drive my truck, read, sleep, I was trapped inside my own grieve. Charlie was worried I could see that every day that passed it hurt him more and more. He of course phoned my mother after I was hospitalized. I was diagnosed by the doctor a few days later. He told me I had chronic depression and a few anxiety and eating disorders. I had daily checks from the doctor, which also killed me to see each day that it wasn't Carlisle, until I got slightly better. I returned to school and started hanging out with Jacob Black, a werewolf. Life got better when I spent time with Jacob, but even Jacob couldn't close up the great big whole in my chest. I grew to love Jacob, at first as a best friend but then later something a little bit more. I started to become a little happier, Charlie said he could see colour again in my cheeks but then a month before my birthday things went downhill again. I found ways to see them as hallucinations and they slowly crept up and took over my life completely. I ended up hurting myself several time to find the hallucinations. I knew I was growing more insane by the day. It was bad, I couldn't stop seeing him. Charlie eventually sent me to live with my mum a week before my 19th birthday and we moved back to the old house in Arizona while Phil continued his baseball. It was dull all the time. I didn't hallucinate in ages. Jacob wasn't there to make my happy and I started to fall, fall down into my blackened mind. I couldn't stop falling. I tried so hard to stop, grab on to sanity and try and live a life without them. It just wasn't possible. I hate it here, I hate my life here and most importantly there is no vampires here. So here I now am, stood here at 11'o clock at night at the top of the biggest cliff in Phoenix ready to end my life, to be forever happy in another world. To escape this one, my last wish to be granted.