He was leaving.

Dean kept telling himself that exact same sentence over and over for the past week now. Roman was going off to California, to be with Cody. If Dean's heart wasn't broken before, it sure as hell was now. The thing they don't tell you about heartbreak is that it doesn't just effect your mind. It absolutely ruins you, it makes you weak, feeble… pathetic.

Dean barely got himself out of bed this morning, and every morning since Roman told him he was leaving. He managed to shower, put on clothes that didn't stink and make his way to work. As he sat in front of his computer in his office, all he could do was look at the blank screen as he thought about him.

He was leaving in 3 days.

Three more days and he would never see him again. No more fighting, or arguing or heartbreak. No more kisses, smiles, great sex or his love. No more Roman. Dean laughed to himself to try to keep from breaking down. "I didn't even say goodbye." Dean scolded himself. He was too pissed to tell him goodbye. Roman had said he loved him and was met with nothing more than a fuck you that came violently off of Dean's lips.

He hated himself for that. The way Roman looked back at him sadly, nodded then just walked away. It was forever etched into Dean's memories. He had to hurt Roman again… just one last time.

Dean picked up a pen and twirled it around in his fingers as he escaped into a headspace where Roman was still his, and everything wasn't gray all the time.

His phone line beeped as Dean escaped into his thoughts. His assistant Lana cleared her throat then of course her thick Russian accent was forced out through the speaker.

"Mr. Ambrose. Your friend Seth is here to see you." Lana told him gently.

Oh god. Dean didn't want to talk to Seth right now. He's actually been trying to ignore him all week. But Seth was so persistent when it came to Dean. It's what Dean loved and hated about him. "Thank you Lana, send him in." Dean said finally, sighing out as he dropped the pen he was holding and leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling.

"I finally made it through the pearly gates." Seth's tone dripped with sarcasm as he came in Dean's office and closed the door. "I was pleasantly surprised that I got to come in since you've been telling your assistant to lie and tell me you've been busy all week." He sat down in the chair across from Dean's crossing his legs gently.

"I've been busy." Came the contrite response from Dean. He took a breath then let his eyes land on his best friend. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Seth raised his eyebrows in disbelief at Dean's rude tone. "I just want to see how you're holding up since… you know who is leaving soon."

There it was. The one thing Dean most definitely didn't want to talk about. He gave Seth a look, blue eyes lit a flame as they stared deep into hazel. "I'm doing okay," Dean barely managed to shrug. "I could be better though." He hoped that was enough for Seth to drop it because he most certainly did not want to talk about it anymore. Roman was already in his thoughts 24/7. He didn't need this ache anymore. He wanted it gone, him out of his memories and his life. For good.

"I know you're hurting D. Roman called me the other day and told me how you took the news. He said you told him to go fuck himself and to enjoy Cali before you slammed the door in his face."

Dean had to laugh at that over exaggeration Roman spewed to Seth. He couldn't believe he actually told him that lie. "I didn't. I told him to fuck off and enjoy Cali. But he was already walking away when I slammed the door on him."

"That's basically the same thing Dean." Seth replied, sitting back in his chair more comfortably now. "I know Roman hurt you, but did you have to tell him to go fuck himself? He is just doing what he thinks is right for both of you. He wants you to be happy Dean. He doesn't think he can give you that."

Dean scoffed softly, looking down. "Roman doesn't think he can give me a lot of things." Dean's whole demeanor changed as he began softly speaking. "He would rather move across country with someone he doesn't love than be with me because I fucked up once. I'm in love with him yet he doesn't think he can make me happy. Do you fucking see the irony of that sentence?" He asked Seth seriously.

Seth watched Dean's sullen face and all he wanted to do was take all his pain away. This whole thing seemed so easily solvable to him, but Roman was scared of getting hurt.

"I see it. But maybe-" She began to say.

"Don't you try to fucking defend him!" Dean spat back furiously. "Not when he broke my fucking heart."

"Dean." Seth tried again.

"No." Dean said, this time his tone was way more serious. "I was getting married, Seth. I was happy. Then he came back into my life and fucked everything up. He made me fall for him all over again and then took my fucking heart and tossed it off a mountain. He shattered me and now I'm stuck in love with him while he runs away because he's scared of being with me. So don't you sit there and try to tell me shit. I don't want to fucking hear it." Dean eyes were watering as he spoke, he completely broke down and Seth couldn't do anything but watch. He was at a loss for words as Dean began to choke up and turn around so Seth couldn't see him cry.

"D." Seth stood up and walked around Dean's desk so he could give his best friend a hug. He tried to embrace Dean but Dean pushed him away. Seth stumbled back a bit before he tried again. He came closer and then wrapped Dean up in his arms. Dean shook his head but this time he let Seth hold him.

At least for a little while.

After about five minutes Dean managed to look up at Seth and he slowly wiped his tears with his hands. "God I feel like a chick." Dean said while releasing a helpless chuckle.

"Why because guys aren't allowed to have emotions?" Seth laughed back while looking at him.

"No. Because you're caressing me softly like I'm some 13-year-old girl who can't get over her crush." Both men laughed at that, and then it was Seth's turn to wipe a falling tear out of Dean's eye as he sniffled.

"I just want to make sure you're okay." Seth whispered to him softly.

"I will be." Dean said back as he looked up into Seth's eyes. "I just need time."

"You do. But I also think you need closure. You and Roman can't end this with you telling him to fuck off. You both deserve more than that." Dean said nothing back, but Seth could see in his eyes that he was taking his words into consideration. "I think you should go to his going away party he's having tomorrow night. Go there and say goodbye to him. For real this time."

Dean looked away as Seth spoke. He didn't know if he should do that. What if Roman didn't want to see him? What if Cody was there? "What if Cody is there?" Dean asked softly. "I can't go. He won't like me and Roman in the same room."

"Well, I talked to Roman. He said Cody won't be there cause he's finishing up their living arrangements in Cali. So you're free and clear. Unless you have some other excuse not to show up." Seth said back with a soft smirk forming on his lips.

Dean breathed out heavily then looked at Seth. He was right. He and Roman needed closure before he left for good. Maybe the closure would finally help Dean move on?

"You're right." Dean softly replied. "I need this. I need to finally let Roman go."

Seth smiled, "It's for the best D."

"Yeah." Dean answered.

He sure hoped it was.

Dean hasn't been this nervous since he first had sex with Roman. Although it was good, Dean didn't have tons of guys underneath his belt and he also didn't know if he could take all of Roman at once. Oh how wrong he was.

His nervous hands were swept against his jeans as he made it towards the front entrance of Roman's home. He hasn't seen or spoken to Roman since he told him to fuck off and Dean just couldn't handle yet another blow up if Roman didn't want to see him. He texted Seth to see if he was on his way there as well and Seth texted back to tell him he was already there. Good. Dean thought. At least he had someone to lean on if things got tough.

He walked up to the door, then stopped to breathe. He could do this. He could see him one last time. Dean tried to shake all his nerves away as he rang the bell twice, and waited.

It wasn't a minute later that the door was opened, and there he was.

"Dean." Roman said his name breathlessly. His smile had dropped only slightly, so he could take in Dean's entire body in his gray eyes. "Hi." He whispered softly.

He didn't have to look at him like that. But as soon as Dean saw those gray eyes on him, his heart started beating deep in his chest. Dean smiled softly at him, then he looked down so Roman couldn't see him blush. "Hi." Dean whispered back. "Seth said I was allowed to come but if you don't want me here-"

"I want you here." Roman said back quickly cutting him off.

Dean looked up at his sentence and then he smiled gently. "Good. I just came to wish you well. I promise."

Roman laughed and nodded, then opened the door for him. "Okay well, come on in. Everyone is already here. Jack, Seth, John, Joe, Apollo, Jimmy and Jey…"

"Jimmy and Jey are here?" Dean perked up as soon as Roman mentioned his cousins. He saw Roman nod and that's when Dean quickly came in and found them. Roman watched Dean give Jimmy and Jey a big hug then he started to talk to them with a huge smile on his face.

"He fits right in doesn't he?" Seth said as came and stood next to Roman.

"He does. They love him." Roman sighed, then looked over at Seth. "How are you Seth? Have you spoken to Randy recently?"

"Um. No." Seth lied, swirling his finger gently around his red solo cup. "We broke up a while ago. That was it for us I guess." He shrugged.

"Really?" Roman challenged with a smile, "Cause I happened to run into Randy at the coffee shop yesterday and he said you and him were starting over again. He said you called him after he spoke to you and asked him to take you out on a date?"

"Damn him." Seth grumbled under his breath. He told Randy he didn't want anyone to know. But of course Orton didn't know how to keep his mouth shut. "Okay so I may have broken up with him... but after he came over and explained everything to me, I realized why he was being so possessive. So, I called him. We talked and I asked him for a do over. We're starting fresh and he is taking me out on a date tomorrow night." Seth smiled to himself and then looked over at Roman, who was smiling back at him. "What?"

"Nothing." Roman shook his head. "I'm just happy you're happy. I know I hurt you Seth and I never truly apologized. You were good to me."

"I hurt you too, Ro. So no need for apologizes. We were good but I was kidding myself. I wanted you to be who you were for Dean and you wanted me to be Dean." Roman got quiet as he spoke and then looked down. "Hey it's okay. We're over and I'm happy. But the question is Ro… are you?"

"What?" Roman asked him. "Of course I'm happy. Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because even though you're moving away with Cody, you just can't seem to take your eyes off of him." Seth nudged Roman to look at Dean once again and he could see Roman's jaw set and his demeanor change from happy to sad in seconds. And all it took was one look.

"I hope you're happy in Cali, Rome." Seth said as he smiled then walked away.

The party was starting to die down as Dean searched for Roman. Half the people who were there an hour ago were now telling Roman goodbye before they exited. Dean had finally found Roman and Seth hugging by the door. He tried to ignore that very small twinge of jealousy as he watched them. Seth told Roman goodbye and Roman nodded giving him a tight hug. He let him go after a minute then smiled at Dean before he left out the door. Roman watched him go then slowly he turned around, and saw Dean standing there, looking down at the ground.

"Are there more people here?" Dean asked nervously as he looked up at Roman.

"Everyone is gone." Roman said honestly, closing the door behind him.

They both just stood there for a second while looking at each other. Their hearts were broken and there was nothing that could be said that wasn't already. Dean gulped then looked down… he didn't know how this closure thing worked. What was he supposed to say?

"Ro…" He began to say nervously. "Roman… I…"

"Shut up." Roman stopped him from saying another word. "Just... shut up Dean." Roman said right before he stalked over to him and pulled him in, giving Dean a slow, passionate kiss. Shocked by the kiss Dean pushed Roman away harshly. Roman stumbled back a bit but then just pulled Dean in again, this time by the back of his blond head, gripping the full locks as kissed him again. Dean moaned against Roman's lips, letting his slow tongue inside of his mouth. Roman grabbed him by his ass possessively then picked Dean up, carrying him up the stairs.

They kissed all the way to his bedroom. Those slow, toe curling kisses that no one else could possibly give him. Roman slammed Dean against his bedroom door and Dean smirked near his lips, right before his pale hands found their way into Roman's hair. His legs wrapped around Roman's middle as they made out against the door. Roman finally got it open and when he did he walked Dean towards the bed. Dean fell down on it, pulling Roman down with him by his shirt. They kissed again, then time much slower than before.

"I want you Dean." He heard Roman say as his soft lips left his own for a second. "I want you to give me you, just one last time."

Dean knew exactly what Roman meant by that. He nodded softly, then they both sat up and started to slowly take off their clothes. Once they were naked, Dean switched their positions and laid Roman gently against the pillows. He softly kissed his lips then his neck, and collar bone. Roman moaned out breathlessly as Dean lips savored his body. Like he was trying to remember it, forever.

He kissed his hip bone, then placed one kiss to Roman's dick, before he kissed his way back up. His hands burned themselves on Roman's knees then softly he spread Roman's legs so he could see his pucker. Dean licked his lips, then blue eyes met gray. Silently he looked at Roman who was telling him to continue without words. Dean held his erection at the base, then slowly he pushed into Roman. He was so tight, there was so prep, or lube but they needed this.

It was going to be the last time.

"Fuck. I forgot how tight you are." Dean groaned as he finally seated himself completely inside of Roman. He saw Roman's pained expression and a soft bite of his lip. He was ready. Dean leaned up and entwined their hands then slowly he thrusted in, grunting as he felt Roman stretch around his cock. They watched each other as they fucked, small kisses were found on each other's lips, intense eye contact too as Dean went deep. He bit the side of Roman's neck and their connected hands were squeezed together as loud pants and moans started to fill the room. Roman was so fucking wet down there, Dean took one look and he swore it only made him harder. He would jerk Roman's dick if their hands weren't connected and the friction from Dean's body wasn't already turning him on.

"Dean!" He heard Roman say his name in a loud, breathless moan.

"Yeah just like that baby." Dean said back with a playful nip of Roman's lips, 'Say my name again."

"Dean!" Roman said his name again as he met Dean thrust for thrust. He hasn't had sex this good since he and Dean had sex the last time. He was gonna miss this. This connection he hasn't felt with any other man since. He was gonna miss Dean.

Dean let go of Roman's hands and he quickly pulled out, and turned Roman on his stomach. He pulled him up ass first then buried himself deep inside of him once again. "Fuck." Dean cried out at this new position. Seeing his dick go in and out of Roman's ass and hearing Roman moan below him was absolutely everything Dean needed. He pulled Roman up to his body, and held him by the waist as he fucked him slower, trying to edge out his orgasm.

"Dean…" Roman whispered his name, turning his head to give him a kiss. "I can't hold on." He whispered taking Dean's hand and placing on his neglected dick. Dean slowly started to stroke him off at the same time he thrusted up hard in him. They were close to orgasming at the same time. Roman was first, his cum shot out quickly all over Dean's hand. Dean whispered something in his ear as he started cumming inside of Roman. Thick, white cum spurt deep inside of his ex as Dean's thrust came to a slow stop. They kissed in the middle of the bed for a little bit, then Dean pulled out, falling on top of Roman.

They panted and looked at each other but they said nothing. Roman pushed some wet blond curls out of Dean's face and Dean softly caressed Roman's jaw. Cum was sticking to their wet bodies but they didn't care. Right now was the last time they would lay in each other's arms, the last time they would have each other like this... so they were gonna savor it as best they can.

"I'm gonna miss you." Roman said softly, as his index finger slowly traced Dean's nose and his lips.

"I'm gonna miss you too." Dean said back, giving Roman a small kiss. Their lips smacked together gently and then Dean pulled away, laying his head on Roman's chest. There was so much he wanted to say. But he was afraid. Roman had made up his mind… but Dean wanted to change it. He couldn't just let this man go without trying one last time.

"Don't go Ro." He whispered against Roman's chest as he listened to his heartbeat. "Stay. With me. Be with me." He looked up at Roman and saw the sadness Roman held in his eyes. There was confliction too, one that he wasn't trying to hide.

"You know I can't." Roman said back, looking deep into Dean's sad baby blues. He cupped his face and then kissed him softly.

"No. I don't know." Dean said as he pulled away. "You know how much I love you Ro. I can give you what Cody can. The only difference is that you know that with me there is baggage. Yes, I hurt you and yes I'm idiot sometimes but you know that he doesn't love you like I do. You know that you'll never truly be happy with him."

Roman sighed, "Dean please don't do this..."

Dean sat up and shook his head, "I can't just let you go without trying Ro. Yes, our love is scary and unpredictable and yes there's more stability with Cody but he doesn't love you. I do. I can't predict our future. I don't know if we are going to work out in the long run. But I do know that I am willing to spend every day of the rest of my life making you feel loved, and wanted and desired. Because I love you Roman. I fucking love you."

"Dean-" Roman began but Dean cut him off by slowly kissing him. Roman moaned against his mouth, then Dean gently pulled away, looking down at him.

"Don't give me answer. Just think about it, okay? If you want me. You won't get on that plane in tomorrow."

Roman didn't know what to say, so instead he just wrapped Dean in his arms and kissed him again.

His plane left in an hour.

And all Dean could do was look at the clock. Last night they spent all night in each other arms, kissing and making love, yet neither of them said goodbye to the other. When Dean didn't hear from Roman mostly all day he started to get worried. The clock ticked slow. There was 50 minutes left to go now. 50 minutes until his heart was broken. 50 minutes until he had to consider them making love last night as a goodbye instead of an okay.

50 minutes quickly turned into 30 as Dean looked down at his phone. No calls. Not text. Those words that were said last night started to mean nothing as time started to go faster. He picked up his thinking pen again and twirled it around his finger. No way was Roman giving him up for a sedentary life with Cody. No way was he going to just leave Dean.

That half an hour turned into ten, which turned into 5 which turned into a new hour.

He was gone.

He had left Dean and chose Cody.

Cody Rhodes over their love.

Cody Rhodes over him.

Dean cleared his throat to keep from crying. He couldn't believe it. Roman was gone. The one person he truly loved had left him. His eyes filled to the brim with tears as he violently grabbed his blazer and then headed out of the office.

"Mr. Ambrose are you okay?" Lana tried to ask but it was too late. Dean was already gone.

xxx

"Hey Seth it's me Dean call me okay? I'm a fucking idiot." Dean told Seth over voicemail. He drove straight home so he could crack open his bourbon and have a good cry. Seth didn't answer for the third time so Dean clicked end on the phone line. He parked his car then slammed the door shut, walking up the pathway towards his house.

"Hey."

Dean stopped in his tracks as he saw him. Roman was standing in his doorway yet again, this time with suitcase and a very somber smile. Dean's heart started beating extra fast as he walked up to him slowly.

"Ro?" He said it almost in disbelief. Was he dreaming?

"I had a lot of time to think." Roman began to say as he stepped closer to him. "To think about your ultimatum and what you said last night. I thought about it for hours. Even when I was at the airport ready to board a plane with my boyfriend." He looked down for a second, then shook his head and looked back up. "I'm scared that if I give you this chance you'll leave again and truthfully I couldn't handle it if you did. But as I was sitting in coach I looked over at Cody and when he smiled at me I realized something…"

"What?" Dean asked as he looked up at Roman.

"I realized he wasn't you." The corners of Roman's mouth formed an ironic smile. "I want you to be the one I wake up to every day, I want you to be the one who I kiss, who makes love to me. I want you to be mine Dean."

Dean lips formed into a small smile. "I want to be yours Roman."

"Good." Roman placed his suitcase down then pulled something out of his pocket. It was a small burgundy velvet box. "Because I want you to be mine forever. No more running away for either of us." He opened the box to reveal two nice golden wedding bands. "You once ran away before I got a chance to formally ask you this but I think after five years maybe you're not scared anymore." Roman got down on one knee then took one of the bands out. Dean stood there with his eyes full of tears as he looked at Roman.

"Dean… will you marry me?"

All of Dean's nervousness went away as he looked at Roman. They been through so much and all because Dean being afraid to let himself love someone. It's been five years, one failed attempt at blackmail, arguing, lying, make ups and breakups. But one thing was for sure, Dean wasn't afraid anymore.

"Yes." He said simply.

A/N: There you have it, the ending to I'm fine. Thanks to everyone who supported this fic and reviewed every chapter and thanks to those who didn't give up on it even though there were plot twists and stuff. I'm sorry that I couldn't make everyone happy as I sought out to do with this fic and I'm sorry if I disappointed anyone with it. There aren't days that go by that I don't wish that I kept this as a one shot and just left it at that. If you haven't already check out my new fic Game!

Hopefully you all find the Dean to your Roman and thanks for reading. - Melle