Er... yeah, this is a really random fic. Very cliche and pointless. But oh well. Warnings include shounen-ai, grammar mistakes / general errors, etc. Title from Florence and the Machine's "Kiss With a Fist," which doesn't match the plot of this fic or even describe Shinichi and Kaito's relationship, really, but it's a cute song and I don't know how to title anymore, so.

Break the Lock If It Don't Fit

Kaito had never actively sulked before, but he was beginning to consider it.

He glared as discreetly as he could in Hakuba's direction as the blond obliviously continued recounting the latest heist to his raptly listening girlfriend (Aoko). His mechanical pencil felt ready to snap in his hand.

"It was the strangest thing," Hakuba was saying as Kaito slumped in his desk chair and pretended not eavesdrop, staring listlessly down at the worksheet they had been assigned for homework. "I wasn't expecting it at all, but Edogawa-kun seemed so sincere and serious about it. He even went so far as to say that he had a very good time working with me at heists and that he appreciated my love of Sherlock Holmes. Well, I suppose now it makes sense, since I heard from Mouri-san that he left for the States to live with his parents, but at the time it was quite unexpected."

"That is kind of weird," Aoko agreed musingly, head slanted to one side. "I mean, we all know that Edogawa-kun isn't exactly the most normal kid, but that sounds as if he didn't plan on ever seeing you again. I guess if he's not going to come back to visit, it makes sense, though."

Hakuba made a sound of agreement. "I don't think he's coming back. I saw him going around talking to some of the others at the heist – Inspector Nakamori and Advisor Suzuki, even." He shook his head. "He's such a strange child –"

They were interrupted by the sound of Kaito's pencil breaking in two.

Aoko was the first to recover. She hurried to his desk, yanking the shards of plastic out of his grip and scanning his palm for cuts. Finding none, she dropped Kaito's hand and scowled at him. "What is wrong with you, Kaito?"

"Nothing," Kaito grumbled, stuffing the remnants of his pencil into his bag. After a moment's hesitation, he shoved his worksheet in as well. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Hakuba corrected unhelpfully from behind Aoko. Kaito shot him a withering I will put scorpions in your bed look – Hakuba just lifted his eyebrows at him, the bastard – as he shouldered his bag and started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Aoko demanded, and Kaito glanced back at her over his shoulder.

"Home," he answered shortly, pushing the classroom door open on her indignant squawk of, "What, now? Weren't we supposed to get parfaits today?"

"Leave him be. He's just being moody," Hakuba told her soothingly, probably planning eight different ways to spend the afternoon alone with her, and Kaito slammed the classroom door shut a little harder than strictly necessary.

It wasn't, Kaito thought ferociously as he stalked down the hall and scared away every one of his underclassmen's attempts at greetings, that he was bitter or anything. Or upset or annoyed or heartbroken. And certainly not just because tantei-kun had up and left for the States without saying goodbye to him, despite that he spent at least four minutes waxing sentimental with Hakuba, of all people.

There was no way that Kaito was feeling a bit stung over that.

He was being ridiculous, Kaito realized belatedly as he stormed down the sidewalk towards his house. He was being ridiculous, because he wasn't supposed to care about tantei-kun outside of "He's actually Kudou Shinichi, he's dangerous with a soccer ball, he should be avoided if possible." But somewhere along the line, he had also begun to think, "He's obscenely intelligent, he's got the most delightfully sarcastic sense of humor, he's really not so bad when you're forced to collaborate with him."

Well. Kaito drew to a halt in front of his house, sighing dejectedly as he pushed the gate open. He was going to have to add "He doesn't care about you enough to give you a proper goodbye before he flies merrily off to the States to do whatever shrunken detectives do" to the list of things he associated with Edogawa Conan.

And, possibly, "You're never going to see him again."

Kaito let his head thunk against the wood of his front door as he groaned.

A week passed, during which Kaito moped around a bit more and generally made Aoko worry about him constantly and Hakuba roll his eyes in resignation.

Finally, Aoko managed to convince him to do something other than go home and listen to depressing blues music while staring morosely out his window, mostly by claiming she was going to follow him home and force-feed him fish unless he went somewhere with her.

That was how Kaito ended up sitting at some tiny café all the way in Beika, watching steam float off the dark brown surface of his coffee as Aoko sat across from him and scrutinized him anxiously while, at her side, Hakuba sipped his tea with proper British detachment.

After several minutes of conversationless silence, Aoko slammed a palm against the table. "That's it, this is completely ridiculous," she snapped, rising to her feet. "You're either going to tell us what's going on or I am going to personally drag you to the aquarium."

Blinking up at her, Kaito sighed and pushed his cup of coffee away. "You couldn't do it. I'm stronger than you."

"Fine. Hakuba-kun and I will personally drag you there." Aoko narrowed her eyes at him. "Seriously, Kaito, why are you acting so weird?" A thought suddenly seemed to occur to her as her hands flew to her mouth. "Oh my God, is it a girl?"

"What?" Kaito scowled at her. "What do you mean, is it a –"

"I'm so right," Aoko cut in, her smile grimly triumphant as she pointed a finger accusingly at him. "This is all because of some girl you met somewhere who stood you up or rejected you or something like that, and you're all mopey and gross because of it." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me I'm wrong."

Apparently, Kaito hesitated for a second too long, because Aoko was shaking her head as she sat back down. "You're too emotionally stunted," she said, not unkindly, as she reached for Kaito's untouched coffee. "That's why it's so hard for you to –"

Kaito would never know what was so hard for him to do, because at that moment the bell over the door jingled and he glanced up to see Kudou Shinichi walking casually into the café.

For a moment everything seemed to just – stop. Kaito couldn't stop staring at Shinichi, couldn't bring himself to look away from those sparkling, unchanged eyes, still too large and intelligent and pretty against the familiar fine china skin, or the jagged fringe across that familiar forehead, dark and neat and carefully arranged.

Although wow, Kaito had not realized how tall Shinichi would be.

When Kaito realized that he was openly gaping, mouth partway open, Shinichi spotted him. His eyes widened, exposing more of those crystalline irises, and his obscenely pink mouth curled up in a smile. He had clearly recognized Kaito. Smirking, he started across the café towards them.

Behind Kaito, Hakuba was saying, "Isn't that Kudou Shinichi –?" and Aoko was hissing, "Why is he coming over here? Do you know him?" but Kaito ignored them both as he rose unsteadily to his feet.

Shinichi was right in front of him now, several steps away. He was full-out beaming now, the slightest hint of pink in his cheeks as he grinned at Kaito, easily the prettiest thing Kaito had ever seen, and Kaito opened his mouth slowly, wonderingly, and yelled, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Shinichi had half a second to blink in confusion before Kaito roundhouse kicked him in the face.

Aoko was practically shrieking, Hakuba sounded as if he was having an aneurysm, and several of the waiters looked about to pass out. Kaito ignored them all in favor of stomping over to where Shinichi was sprawled out across the floor, yanking Shinichi into a sitting position by the front of his shirt, and kissing him thoroughly.

There was an abrupt silence.

Not that Kaito noticed it much, considering that Shinichi's hands had settled on his hips, and despite that Kaito had almost been able to literally taste his initial surprise, the detective was now casually alternating between nipping Kaito's bottom lip and sucking reverently on his tongue. Kaito was mostly concentrating on not melting into the floor or making more embarrassing noises than he already was.

They broke apart when Aoko's screeching reached a frankly alarming pitch. Kaito turned to give her an unimpressed glare – her mouth shut audibly – before he focused on Shinichi yet again, glaring as fiercely as he could when he still felt as if he'd stuck his fingers into a live outlet.

"I'm still mad at you," he mumbled, noting belatedly that his hands had somehow ended up clutching at Shinichi's well-defined jawline.

"I think you mean mad for me," Shinichi corrected chirpily because he was literally the worst person ever, and Kaito poked him swiftly in the rapidly swelling cheek for his trouble. Because, while that statement was not technically false, it was most certainly not appreciated. Shinichi made a strange yipping sound, staring at Kaito with something like betrayal. Kaito ignored him, instead choosing to frown seriously.

"No, I mean mad at you." Glancing around – the staff were tentatively going back to their serving, and Aoko was slowly looking less and less likely to spontaneously combust – Kaito lowered his voice. "Why didn't you say anything to me before you left?"

"What?" Shinichi blinked up at him. He had begun to draw little circles on Kaito's hipbones with his thumbs, which was distracting but not enough that Kaito was deterred from his questions.

"You told everyone goodbye, tantei-kun," Kaito reminded him. "Hakuba, Inspector Nakamori, even Advisor Suzuki." He tried not to seem as if he were pouting (which he was, but). "You didn't even tell me you were going anywhere."

Shinichi stared at Kaito as if Kaito were the insensitive, stupid, good-looking one. "I told them goodbye because they didn't know who I really was. You knew I was Kudou Shinichi. Why would I say goodbye to you when I was just going to take the antidote and see you again?" He blinked. "I thought you knew I was coming back."

"But you were –" Kaito flinched, cutting himself off. Okay, so maybe… maybe he hadn't considered that Edogawa Conan wasn't actually going to the States. But could you blame him, really? He'd thought that Shinichi had completely – he'd just – there had been no way to know that – Shinichi had given no sign –

Shinichi was lifting an eyebrow at him, clearly on the verge of laughter.

Ugh. Kaito buried his face in Shinichi's shoulder to avoid looking at him.

"You could've said something," he groaned, muffled, and one of Shinichi's hands lifted to ruffle the back of his hair.

"Did you actually think that I would just leave without saying goodbye to my favorite phantom thief?" he teased, and Kaito rolled his eyes, though Shinichi obviously couldn't see him.

"I better be your favorite. If you go around kissing a phantom thief who's not even your favorite, I'd hate to think what you'd do to your actual favorite."

"Well, you are pretty great." Shinichi reached up to smooth Kaito's bangs off his forehead. "You're smart and gorgeous and completely ridiculous, and I was planning on asking you out when I got my body back." He smiled sweetly at Kaito for a long moment before he added, less sweetly, "And I mean, you're the only phantom thief I know, so technically you're my favorite by default, anyway."

Kaito stared. "Tantei-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"So I wasn't wrong," Aoko said woefully as she watched Kaito molest the random guy in the middle of the café floor. She shot one of the waitresses a sympathetic glance as the woman tried to skirt around the two of them, barely missing Kaito's foot. "It was a… well, not a girl. But a person."

Meanwhile, Hakuba was shaking his head, setting his empty teacup down. "I can't believe Kudou Shinichi of all people would choose to associate with Kuroba-kun," he remarked disapprovingly. "The man clearly recognized that Kuroba-kun is Kid, and yet he's still…" He broke off into coughs as Shinichi bent to kiss the corner of Kaito's mouth. "…willing to pursue a relationship with him."

"Maybe it's because Kaito is similar to Kid," Aoko suggested, loyalty dictating that she not agree with Hakuba's suspicions of Kaito being Kid.

Hakuba scoffed. "Kudou Shinichi? I doubt it."

Aoko shrugged, eyeing Kaito with some concern as he finally climbed off of Shinichi's lap and the two of them simultaneously realized that Shinichi's cheek had swollen to the size of a grapefruit. They promptly began freaking out. Sighing, Aoko stood to go help them before Kaito popped a blood vessel out of sheer guilt.

Well, as long as they were happy, she supposed.

This fic is also known as "I Wanted to Post Something, But I Had No Ideas." Yeah.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this even a little (if you did, please consider dropping me a review!) and I'll be back soon! Stay beautiful, my darlings! - Luna